the little white bird-第14部分

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I　saw　that　she　thought　she　had　me　in　a　parley　at　last。



〃I　could　not　help　being　a　little　anxious；〃　she　said　craftily；　but

I　must　own；　with　some　sweetness。



I　merely　raised　my　hat；　and　at　that　she　turned　quickly　to　DavidI

cannot　understand　why　the　movement　was　so　hastyand　lowered　her

face　to　his。　　Oh；　little　trump　of　a　boy！　　Instead　of　kissing　her；

he　seized　her　face　with　one　hand　and　tried　to　work　her　eyebrows

up　and　down　with　the　other。　　He　failed；　and　his　obvious

disappointment　in　his　mother　was　as　nectar　to　me。



〃I　don't　understand　what　you　want；　darling；〃　said　she　in

distress；　and　looked　at　me　inquiringly；　and　I　understood　what　he

wanted；　and　let　her　see　that　I　understood。　　Had　I　been　prepared

to　converse　with　her；　I　should　have　said　elatedly　that；　had　she

known　what　he　wanted；　still　she　could　not　have　done　it；　though

she　had　practised　for　twenty　years。



I　tried　to　express　all　this　by　another　movement　of　my　hat。



It　caught　David's　eye　and　at　once　he　appealed　to　me　with　the　most

perfect　confidence。　　She　failed　to　see　what　I　did；　for　I　shyly

gave　her　my　back；　but　the　effect　on　David　was　miraculous；　he

signed　to　her　to　go；　for　he　was　engaged　for　the　afternoon。



What　would　you　have　done　then；　reader？　　I　didn't。　　In　my　great

moment　I　had　strength　of　character　to　raise　my　hat　for　the　third

time　and　walk　away；　leaving　the　child　to　judge　between　us。　　I

walked　slowly；　for　I　knew　I　must　give　him　time　to　get　it　out；　and

I　listened　eagerly；　but　that　was　unnecessary；　for　when　it　did

come　it　was　a　very　roar　of　anguish。　　I　turned　my　head；　and　saw

David　fiercely　pushing　the　woman　aside；　that　he　might　have　one

last　long　look　at　me。　　He　held　out　his　wistful　arms　and　nodded

repeatedly；　and　I　faltered；　but　my　glorious　scheme　saved　me；　and

I　walked　on。　It　was　a　scheme　conceived　in　a　flash；　and　ever　since

relentlessly　pursued；　to　burrow　under　Mary's　influence　with　the

boy；　expose　her　to　him　in　all　her　vagaries；　take　him　utterly　from

her　and　make　him　mine。





XII



The　Pleasantest　Club　in　London



All　perambulators　lead　to　the　Kensington　Gardens。



Not；　however；　that　you　will　see　David　in　his　perambulator　much

longer；　for　soon　after　I　first　shook　his　faith　in　his　mother；　it

came　to　him　to　be　up　and　doing；　and　he　up　and　did　in　the　Broad

Walk　itself；　where　he　would　stand　alone　most　elaborately　poised；

signing　imperiously　to　the　British　public　to　time　him；　and

looking　his　most　heavenly　just　before　he　fell。　　He　fell　with　a

dump；　and　as　they　always　laughed　then；　he　pretended　that　this　was

his　funny　way　of　finishing。



That　was　on　a　Monday。　　On　Tuesday　he　climbed　the　stone　stair　of

the　Gold　King；　looking　over　his　shoulder　gloriously　at　each　step；

and　on　Wednesday　he　struck　three　and　went　into　knickerbockers。

For　the　Kensington　Gardens；　you　must　know；　are　full　of　short

cuts；　familiar　to　all　who　play　there；　and　the　shortest　leads　from

the　baby　in　long　clothes　to　the　little　boy　of　three　riding　on　the

fence。　　It　is　called　the　Mother's　Tragedy。



If　you　are　a　burgess　of　the　gardens　（which　have　a　vocabulary　of

their　own）；　the　faces　of　these　quaint　mothers　are　a　clock　to　you；

in　which　you　may　read　the　ages　of　their　young。　　When　he　is　three

they　are　said　to　wear　the　knickerbocker　face；　and　you　may　take　it

from　me　that　Mary　assumed　that　face　with　a　sigh；　fain　would　she

have　kept　her　boy　a　baby　longer；　but　he　insisted　on　his　rights；

and　I　encouraged　him　that　I　might　notch　another　point　against

her。　I　was　now　seeing　David　once　at　least　every　week；　his　mother；

who　remained　culpably　obtuse　to　my　sinister　design；　having

instructed　Irene　that　I　was　to　be　allowed　to　share　him　with　her；

and　we　had　become　close　friends；　though　the　little　nurse　was　ever

a　threatening　shadow　in　the　background。　　Irene；　in　short；　did　not

improve　with　acquaintance。　　I　found　her　to　be　high　and　mighty；

chiefly；　I　think；　because　she　now　wore　a　nurse's　cap　with

streamers；　of　which　the　little　creature　was　ludicrously　proud。

She　assumed　the　airs　of　an　official　person；　and　always　talked　as

if　generations　of　babies　had　passed　through　her　hands。　　She　was

also　extremely　jealous；　and　had　a　way　of　signifying　disapproval

of　my　methods　that　led　to　many　coldnesses　and　even　bickerings

between　us；　which　I　now　see　to　have　been　undignified。　　I　brought

the　following　accusations　against　her：



That　she　prated　too　much　about　right　and　wrong。



That　she　was　a　martinet。



That　she　pretended　it　was　a　real　cap；　with　real　streamers；　when

she　knew　Mary　had　made　the　whole　thing　out　of　a　muslin　blind。　　I

regret　having　used　this　argument；　but　it　was　the　only　one　that

really　damped　her。



On　the　other　hand；　she　accused　me　of　spoiling　him。



Of　not　thinking　of　his　future。



Of　never　asking　him　where　he　expected　to　go　to　if　he　did　such

things。



Of　telling　him　tales　that　had　no　moral　application。



Of　saying　that　the　handkerchief　disappeared　into　nothingness；

when　it　really　disappeared　into　a　small　tin　cup；　attached　to　my

person　by　a　piece　of　elastic。



To　this　last　charge　I　plead　guilty；　for　in　those　days　I　had　a

pathetic　faith　in　legerdemain；　and　the　eyebrow　feat　（which；

however；　is　entirely　an　affair　of　skill）　having　yielded　such　good

results；　I　naturally　cast　about　for　similar　diversions　when　it

ceased　to　attract。　　It　lost　its　hold　on　David　suddenly；　as　I　was

to　discover　was　the　fate　of　all　of　them；　twenty　times　would　he

call　for　my　latest；　and　exult　in　it；　and　the　twenty…first　time

（and　ever　afterward）　he　would　stare　blankly；　as　if　wondering　what

the　man　meant。　　He　was　like　the　child　queen　who；　when　the　great

joke　was　explained　to　her；　said　coldly；　〃We　are　not　amused；〃　and；

I　assure　you；　it　is　a　humiliating　thing　to　perform　before　an

infant　who　intimates；　after　giving　you　ample　time　to　make　your

points；　that　he　is　not　amused。　　I　hoped　that　when　David　was　able

to　talkand　not　merely　to　stare　at　me　for　five　minutes　and　then

say　〃hat〃his　spoken　verdict；　however　damning；　would　be　less

expressive　than　his　verdict　without　words；　but　I　was

disillusioned。　　I　remember　once　in　those　later　years；　when　he

could　keep　up　such　spirited　conversations　with　himself　that　he

had　little　need　for　any　of　us；　promising　him　to　do　something

exceedingly　funny　with　a　box　and　two　marbles；　and　after　he　had

watched　for　a　long　time　he　said　gravely；　〃Tell　me　when　it　begins

to　be　funny。〃



I　confess　to　having　received　a　few　simple　lessons　in　conjuring；

in　a　dimly　lighted　chamber　beneath　a　shop；　from　a　gifted　young

man　with　a　long　neck　and　a　pimply　face；　who　as　I　entered　took　a

barber's　pole　from　my　pocket；　saying　at　the　same　time；　〃Come；

come；　sir；　this　will　never　do。〃　　Whether　because　he　knew　too

much；　or　because　he　wore　a　trick　shirt；　he　was　the　most

depressing　person　I　ever　encountered；　he　felt　none　of　the

artist's　joy；　and　it　was　sad　to　see　one　so　well　calculated　to

give　pleasure　to　thousands　not　caring　a　dump　about　it。



The　barber's　pole　I　successfully　extracted　from　David's　mouth；

but　the　difficulty　（not　foreseen）　of　knowing　how　to　dispose　of　a

barber's　pole　in　the　Kensington　Gardens　is　considerable；　there

always　being　polite　children　hovering　near　who　run　after　you　and

restore　it　to　you。　　The　young　man；　again；　had　said　that　anyone

would　lend　me　a　bottle　or　a　lemon；　but　though　these　were　articles

on　which　he　seemed　ever　able　to　lay　his　hand；　I　found　（what　I　had

never　noticed　before）　that　there　is　a　curious　dearth　of　them　in

the　Gardens。　　The　magic　egg…cup　I　usually　carried　about　with　me；

and　with　its　connivance　I　did　some　astonishing　things　with

pennies；　but　even　the　penny　that　costs　sixpence　is　uncertain；　and

just　when　you　are　saying　triumphantly　that　it　will　be　found　in

the　egg…cup；　it　may　clatter　to　the　ground；　whereon　some

ungenerous　spectator；　such　as　Irene；　accuses　you　of　fibbing　and

corrupting　youthful　minds。　　It　was　useless　to　tell　her；　through

clenched　teeth；　that　the　whole　thing　was　a　joke；　for　she

understood　no　jokes　except　her　own；　of　which　she　had　the　most

immoderately　high　opinion；　and　that　would　have　mattered　little　to

me　had　not　David　liked　them　also。　　There　were　times　when　I　could

not　but　think　less　of　the　boy；　seeing　him　rock　convulsed　over

antics　of　Irene　that　have　been　known　to　every　nursemaid　since　the

year　One。　　While　I　stood　by；　sneering；　he　would　give　me　the

ecstatic　look　that　meant；　〃Irene　is　really　very　entertaining；

isn't　she？〃



We　were　rivals；　but　I　desire　to　treat　her　with　scrupulous

fairness；　and　I　admit　that　she　had　one　good　thing；　to　wit；　her

gutta…percha　tooth。　　In　earlier　days　one　of　her　front　teeth；　as

she　told　me；　had　fallen　out；　but　instead　of　then　parting　with　it；

the　resourceful　child　had　hammered　it　in　again　with　a　hair…brush；

which　she　offered　to　show　me；　with　the　dents　on　it。　　This　tooth；

having　in　time　passed　away；　its　place　was　supplied　by　one　of

gutta…percha；　made　by　herself；　which　seldom　came　out　except　when

she　sneezed；　and　if　it　merely　fell　at　her　feet　this　was　a　sign

that　the　cold　was　to　be　a　slight　one；　but　if　it　shot　across　the

room　she　knew　she　was　in　for　something　notable。　　Irene's　tooth

was　very　favourably　known　in　the　Gardens；　where　the　perambulators

used　to　gather　round　her　to　hear　whether　it　had　been　doing

anything　to…day；　and　I　would　not　have　grudged　David　his

proprietary　pride　in　it；　had　he　seemed　to　understand　that　Irene's

one　poor　little　accomplishment；　though　undeniably　showy；　was

without　intellectual　merit。　　I　have　sometimes　stalked　away　from

him；　intimating　that　if　his　regard　was　to　be　got　so　cheaply　I

begged　to　retire　from　the　competition；　but　the　Gardens　are　the

pleasantest　club　in　London；　and　I　soon　returned。　　How　I　scoured

the　Gardens　looking　for　him；　and　how　skilful　I　became　at　picking

him　out　far　away　among　the　trees；　though　other　mothers　imitated

the　picturesque　attire　of　him；　to　Mary's　indignation。　　I　also　cut

Irene's　wings　（so　to　speak）　by　taking　he