armadale-第104部分

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go…go…going　to　marry　Mr。　Armadale；　are　you？　Jealousif　ever　I
saw　it　in　a　man's　face　yet；　I　saw　it　in　hisactually　jealous　of
Armadale　at　his　age！　If　I　had　been　in　the　humor　for　it；　I　should
have　burst　out　laughing　in　his　face。　As　it　was；　I　was　angry；　and
lost　all　patience　with　him。　I　told　him　he　was　an　old　fool；　and
ordered　him　to　go　on　quietly　with　his　usual　business　until　I　sent
him　word　that　he　was　wanted　again。　He　submitted　as　usual；　but
there　was　an　indescribable　something　in　his　watery　old　eyes；　when
he　took　leave　of　me；　which　I　have　never　noticed　in　them　before。
Love　has　the　credit　of　working　all　sorts　of　strange
transformations。　Can　it　be　really　possible　that　Love　has　made　Mr。
Bashwood　man　enough　to　be　angry　with　me？

〃Wednesday。My　experience　of　Miss　Milroy's　habits　suggested　a
suspicion　to　me　last　night　which　I　thought　it　desirable　to　clear
up　this　morning。

〃It　was　always　her　way；　when　I　was　at　the　cottage；　to　take　a　walk
early　in　the　morning　before　breakfast。　Considering　that　I　used
often　to　choose　that　very　time　for　_my_　private　meetings　with
Armadale；　it　struck　me　as　likely　that　my　former　pupil　might　be
taking　a　leaf　out　of　my　book；　and　that　I　might　make　some
desirable　discoveries　if　I　turned　my　steps　in　the　direction　of
the　major's　garden　at　the　right　hour。　I　deprived　myself　of　my
Drops；　to　make　sure　of　waking；　passed　a　miserable　night　in
consequence；　and　was　ready　enough　to　get　up　at　six　o'clock；　and
walk　the　distance　from　my　lodgings　to　the　cottage　in　the　fresh
morning　air。

〃I　had　not　been　five　minutes　on　the　park　side　of　the　garden
inclosure　before　I　sat　her　come　out。

〃She　seemed　to　have　had　a　bad　night　too；　her　eyes　were　heavy　and
red；　and　her　lips　and　cheeks　looked　swollen　as　if　she　had　been
crying。　There　was　something　on　her　mind；　evidently；　something；　as
it　soon　appeared；　to　take　her　out　of　the　garden　into　the　park。
She　walked　（if　one　can　call　it　walking；　with　such　legs　as　hers！）
straight　to　the　summer　house；　and　opened　the　door；　and　crossed
the　bridge；　and　went　on　quicker　and　quicker　toward　the　low　ground
in　the　park；　where　the　trees　are　thickest。　I　followed　her　over
the　open　space　with　perfect　impunity　in　the　preoccupied　state　she
was　in；　and；　when　she　began　to　slacken　her　pace　among　the　trees；
I　was　among　the　trees　too；　and　was　not　afraid　of　her　seeing　me。

〃Before　long；　there　was　a　crackling　and　trampling　of　heavy　feet
coming　up　toward　us　through　the　under…wood　in　a　deep　dip　of　the
ground。　I　knew　that　step　as　well　as　she　knew　it。　'Here　I　am；'　she
said；　in　a　faint　little　voice。　I　kept　behind　the　trees　a　few
yards　off；　in　some　doubt　on　which　side　Armadale　would　come　out　of
the　under…wood　to　join　her。　He　came　out　up　the　side　of　the　dell；
opposite　to　the　tree　behind　which　I　was　standing。　They　sat　down
together　on　the　bank。　I　sat　down　behind　the　tree；　and　looked　at
them　through　the　under…wood；　and　heard　without　the　slightest
difficulty　every　word　that　they　said。

〃The　talk　began　by　his　noticing　that　she　looked　out　of　spirits；
and　asking　if　anything　had　gone　wrong　at　the　cottage。　The　artful
little　minx　lost　no　time　in　making　the　necessary　impression　on
him；　she　began　to　cry。　He　took　her　hand；　of　course；　and　tried；　in
his　brutishly　straightforward　way；　to　comfort　her。　No；　she　was
not　to　be　comforted。　A　miserable　prospect　was　before　her；　she　had
not　slept　the　whole　night　for　thinking　of　it。　Her　father　had
called　her　into　his　room　the　previous　evening；　had　spoken　about
the　state　of　her　education；　and　had　told　her　in　so　many　words
that　she　was　to　go　to　school。　The　place　had　been　found；　and　the
terms　had　been　settled；　and　as　soon　as　her　clothes　could　he　got
ready；　miss　was　to　go。

〃　'While　that　hateful　Miss　Gwilt　was　in　the　house；'　says　this
model　young　person；　'I　would　have　gone　to　school　willinglyI
wanted　to　go。　But　it's　all　different　now；　I　don't　think　of　it　in
the　same　way；　I　feel　too　old　for　school。　I'm　quite　heart…broken；
Mr。　Armadale。'　There　she　stopped　as　if　she　had　meant　to　say　more；
and　gave　him　a　look　which　finished　the　sentence　plainly：　'I'm
quite　heart…broken；　Mr。　Armadale；　now　we　are　friendly　again；　at
going　away　from　you！'　For　d　ownright　brazen　impudence；　which　a
grown　woman　would　be　ashamed　of；　give　me　the　young　girls　whose
'modesty'　is　so　pertinaciously　insisted　on　by　the　nauseous
domestic　sentimentalists　of　the　present　day！

〃Even　Armadale；　booby　as　he　is；　understood　her。　After　bewildering
himself　in　a　labyrinth　of　words　that　led　nowhere；　he　took
herone　can　hardly　say　round　the　waist；　for　she　hasn't　got
onehe　took　her　round　the　last　hook…and…eye　of　her　dress；　and；
by　way　of　offering　her　a　refuge　from　the　indignity　of　being　sent
to　school　at　her　age；　made　her　a　proposal　of　marriage　in　so　many
words。

〃If　I　could　have　killed　them　both　at　that　moment　by　lifting　up　my
little　finger；　I　have　not　the　least　doubt　I　should　have　lifted
it。　As　things　were；　I　only　waited　to　see　what　Miss　Milroy　would
do。

〃She　appeared　to　think　it　necessaryfeeling；　I　suppose；　that　she
had　met　him　without　her　father's　knowledge；　and　not　forgetting
that　I　had　had　the　start　of　her　as　the　favored　object　of　Mr。
Armadale's　good　opinionto　assert　herself　by　an　explosion　of
virtuous　indignation。　She　wondered　how　he　could　think　of　such　a
thing　after　his　conduct　with　Miss　Gwilt；　and　after　her　father　had
forbidden　him　the　house！　Did　he　want　to　make　her　feel　how
inexcusably　she　had　forgotten　what　was　due　to　herself？　Was　it
worthy　of　a　gentleman　to　propose　what　he　knew　as　well　as　she　did
was　impossible？　and　so　on；　and　so　on。　Any　man　with　brains　in　his
head　would　have　known　what　all　this　rodomontade　really　meant。
Armadale　took　it　so　seriously　that　he　actually　attempted　to
justify　himself。

〃He　declared；　in　his　headlong；　blundering　way；　that　he　was　quite
in　earnest；　he　and　her　father　might　make　it　up　and　be　friends
again；　and；　if　the　major　persisted　in　treating　him　as　a　stranger；
young　ladies　and　gentlemen　in　their　situation　had　made　runaway
marriages　before　now；　and　fathers　and　mothers　who　wouldn't
forgive　them　before　had　forgiven　them　afterward。　Such
outrageously　straightforward　love…making　as　this　left　Miss
Milroy；　of　course；　but　two　alternativesto　confess　that　she　had
been　saying　No　when　she　meant　Yes；　or　to　take　refuge　in　another
explosion。　She　was　hypocrite　enough　to　prefer　another　explosion。
'How　dare　you；　Mr。　Armadale？　Go　away　directly！　It's
inconsiderate；　it's　heartless；　it's　perfectly　disgraceful　to　say
such　things　to　me！'　and　so　on；　and　so　on。　It　seems　incredible；
but　it　is　not　the　less　true；　that　he　was　positively　fool　enough
to　take　her　at　her　word。　He　begged　her　pardon；　and　went　away　like
a　child　that　is　put　in　the　cornerthe　most　contemptible　object
in　the　form　of　man　that　eyes　ever　looked　on！

〃She　waited；　after　he　had　gone；　to　compose　herself；　and　I　waited
behind　the　trees　to　see　how　she　would　succeed。　Her　eyes　wandered
round　slyly　to　the　path　by　which　he　had　left　her。　She　smiled
（grinned　would　be　the　truer　way　of　putting　it；　with　such　a　mouth
as　hers）；　took　a　few　steps　on　tiptoe　to　look　after　him；　turned
back　again；　and　suddenly　burst　into　a　violent　fit　of　crying。　I　am
not　quite　so　easily　taken　in　as　Armadale；　and　I　saw　what　it　all
meant　plainly　enough。

〃　'To…morrow；'　I　thought　to　myself；　'you　will　be　in　the　park
again；　miss；　by　pure　accident。　The　next　day；　you　will　lead　him　on
into　proposing　to　you　for　the　second　time。　The　day　after；　he　will
venture　back　to　the　subject　of　runaway　marriages；　and　you　will
only　be　becomingly　confused。　And　the　day　after　that；　if　he　has
got　a　plan　to　propose；　and　if　your　clothes　are　ready　to　be　packed
for　school；　you　will　listen　to　him。'　Yes；　yes；　Time　is　always　on
the　man's　side；　where　a　woman　is　concerned；　if　the　man　is　only
patient　enough　to　let　Time　help　him。

〃I　let　her　leave　the　place　and　go　back　to　the　cottage；　quite
unconscious　that　I　had　been　looking　at　her。　I　waited　among　the
trees；　thinking。　The　truth　is；　I　was　impressed　by　what　I　had
heard　and　seen；　in　a　manner　that　it　is　not　very　easy　to　describe。
It　put　the　whole　thing　before　me　in　a　new　light。　It　showed
mewhat　I　had　never　even　suspected　till　this　morningthat　she
is　really　fond　of　him。

〃Heavy　as　my　debt　of　obligation　is　to　her；　there　is　no　fear　_now_
of　my　failing　to　pay　it　to　the　last　farthing。　It　would　have　been
no　small　triumph　for　me　to　stand　between　Miss　Milroy　and　her
ambition　to　be　one　of　the　leading　ladies　of　the　county。　But　it　is
infinitely　more；　where　her　first　love　is　concerned；　to　stand
between　Miss　Milroy　and　her　heart's　desire。　Shall　I　remember　my
own　youth　and　spare　her？　No！　She　has　deprived　me　of　the　one
chance　I　had　of　breaking　the　chain　that　binds　me　to　a　past　life
too　horrible　to　be　thought　of。　I　am　thrown　back　into　a　position；
compared　to　which　the　position　of　an　outcast　who　walks　the
streets　is　endurable　and　enviable。　No；　Miss　Milroyno；　Mr。
Armadale；　I　will　spare　neither　of　you。

〃I　have　been　back　some　hours。　I　have　been　thinking；　and　nothing
has　come　of　it。　Ever　since　I　got　that　strange　letter　of
Midwinter's　last　Sunday；　my　usual　readiness　in　emergencies　has
deserted　me。　When　I　am　not　thinking　of　him　or　of　his　story；　my
mind　feels　quite　stupefied。　I；　who　have　always　known　what　to　do
on　other　occasions；　don't　know　what　to　do　now。　It　would　be　easy
enough；　of　course；　to　warn　Major　Milroy　of　his　daughter's
proceedings。　But　the　major　is　fond　of　his　daughter；　Armadale　is
anxious　to　be　reconciled　with　him；　Armadale　is　rich　and
prosperous；　and　ready　to　submit　to　the　elder　man；　and　sooner　or
later　they　will　be　friends　again；　and　the　marriage　will　follow。
Warning　Major　Milroy　is　only　the　way　to　embarrass　them　for　the
present；　it　is　not　the　way　to　part　them　for　good　and　all。

〃What　_is_　the　way？　I　can't　see　it。　I　could　tear　my　own　hair　off
my　head！　I　could　burn　the　house　down！　If　there　was　a　train　of
gunpowder　under　the　whole　world；　I　could　light　it；　and　blow　the
whole　world　to　destructionI　am　in　such　a　rage；　such　a　frenzy
with　myself　for　not　seeing　it！

〃Poor　dear　Midwinter！　Yes；　'_dear。_'　I　don't　care。　I'm　lonely　and
helpless。　I　want　somebody　who　is　gentle　and　loving　to　make　much
of　me；　I　wish　I　had　his　head　on　my　bosom　again；　I　have　a　good
mind