armadale-第122部分

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lawyer。　Fearing　that　he　might　make　some　mistake　if　he　wrote
without　assistance；　Midwinter　had　drawn　him　out　a　draft　of　the
necessary　letter；　and　Armadale　was　now　engaged　in　copying　the
draft；　and　also　in　writing　to　Mr。　Bashwood　to　lodge　the　money
immediately　in　Coutts's　Bank。

〃These　details　are　so　dry　and　uninteresting　in　themselves　that　I
hesitated　at　first　about　putting　them　down　in　my　diary。　But　a
little　reflection　has　convinced　me　that　they　are　too　important　to
be　passed　over。　Looked　at　from　my　point　of　view；　they　mean
thisthat　Armadale's　own　act　is　now　cutting　him　off　from　all
communication　with　Thorpe　Ambrose；　even　by　letter。　_He　is　as　good
as　dead　already　to　everybody　he　leaves　behind　him。_　The　causes
which　have　led　to　such　a　result　as　that　are　causes　which
certainly　claim　the　best　place　I　can　give　them　in　these　pages。


〃August　1st。Nothing　to　record；　but　that　I　have　had　a　long；
quiet；　happy　day　with　Midwinter。　He　hired　a　carriage；　and　we
drove　to　Richmond；　and　dined　there。　After　to…day's　experience；　it
is　impossible　to　deceive　myself　any　longer。　Come　what　may　of　it；
I　love　him。

〃I　have　fallen　into　low　spirits　since　he　left　me。　A　persuasion
has　taken　possession　of　my　mind　that　the　smooth　and　prosperous
course　of　my　affairs　since　I　have　been　in　London　is　too　smooth
and　prosperous　to　last。　There　is　something　oppressing　me
to…night；　which　is　more　than　the　oppression　of　the　heavy　London
air。


〃August　2d。Three　o'clock。My　presentiments；　like　other
people's；　have　deceived　me　often　enough；　but　I　am　almost　afraid
that　my　presentiment　of　last　night　was　really　prophetic；　for　once
in　a　way。

〃I　went　after　breakfast　to　a　milliner's　in　this　neighborhood　to
order　a　few　cheap　summer　things；　and　thence　to　Midwinter's　hotel
to　arrange　with　him　for　another　day　in　the　country。　I　drove　to
the　milliner's　and　to　the　hotel；　and　part　of　the　way　back。　Then；
feeling　disgusted　with　the　horrid　close　smell　of　the　cab
（somebody　had　been　smoking　in　it；　I　suppose）；　I　got　out　to　walk
the　rest　of　the　way。　Before　I　had　been　two　minutes　on　my　feet；　I
discovered　that　I　was　being　followed　by　a　strange　man。

〃This　may　mean　nothing　but　that　an　idle　fellow　has　been　struck　by
my　figure；　and　my　appearance　generally。　My　face　could　have　made
no　impression　on　him；　for　it　was　hidden　as　usual　by　my　veil。
Whether　he　followed　me　（in　a　cab；　of　course）　from　the　milliner's；
or　from　the　hotel；　I　cannot　say。　Nor　am　I　quite　certain　whether
he　did　or　did　not　track　me　to　this　door。　I　only　know　that　I　lost
sight　of　him　before　I　got　back。　There　is　no　help　for　it　but　to
wait　till　events　enlighten　me。　If　there　is　anything　serious　in
what　has　happened；　I　shall　soon　discover　it。


〃Five　o'clock。It　_is_　serious。　Ten　minutes　since；　I　was　in　my
bedroom；　which　communicates　with　the　sitting…room。　I　was　just
coming　out；　when　I　heard　a　strange　voice　on　the　landing
outsidea　woman's　voice。　The　next　instant　the　sitting…room　door
was　suddenly　opened；　the　woman's　voice　said；　'Are　these　the
apartments　you　have　got　to　let？'　and　though
　the　landlady；　behind　her；　answered；　'No！　higher　up；　ma'am；'　the
woman　came　on　straight　to　my　bedroom；　as　if　she　had　not　heard。　I
had　just　time　to　slam　the　door　in　her　face　before　she　saw　me。　The
necessary　explanations　and　apologies　followed　between　the
landlady　and　the　stranger　in　the　sitting…room；　and　then　I　was
left　alone　again。

〃I　have　no　time　to　write　more。　It　is　plain　that　somebody　has　an
interest　in　trying　to　identify　me；　and　that；　but　for　my　own
quickness；　the　strange　woman　would　have　accomplished　this　object
by　taking　me　by　surprise。　She　and　the　man　who　followed　me　in　the
street　are；　I　suspect；　in　league　together；　and　there　is　probably
somebody　in　the　background　whose　interests　they　are　serving。　Is
Mother　Oldershaw　attacking　me　in　the　dark？　or　who　else　can　it　be？
No　matter　who　it　is；　my　present　situation　is　too　critical　to　be
trifled　with。　I　must　get　away　from　this　house　to…night；　and　leave
no　trace　behind　me　by　which　I　can　be　followed　to　another　place。


〃August　3d。Gary　Street；　Tottenham　Court　Road。I　got　away　last
night　（after　writing　an　excuse　to　Midwinter；　in　which　'my　invalid
mother'　figured　as　the　all…sufficient　cause　of　my　disappearance）；
and　I　have　found　refuge　here。　It　has　cost　me　some　money；　but　my
object　is　attained！　Nobody　can　possibly　have　traced　me　from　All
Saints'　Terrace　to　this　address。

〃After　paying　my　landlady　the　necessary　forfeit　for　leaving　her
without　notice；　I　arranged　with　her　son　that　he　should　take　my
boxes　in　a　cab　to　the　cloak…room　at　the　nearest　railway　station；
and　send　me　the　ticket　in　a　letter；　to　wait　my　application　for　it
at　the　post…office。　While　he　went　his　way　in　one　cab；　I　went　mine
in　another；　with　a　few　things　for　the　night　in　my　little
hand…bag。

〃I　drove　straight　to　the　milliner's　shop；　which　I　had　observed；
when　I　was　there　yesterday；　had　a　back　entrance　into　a　mews；　for
the　apprentices　to　go　in　and　out　by。　I　went　in　at　once；　leaving
the　cab　waiting　for　me　at　the　door。　'A　man　is　following　me；'　I
said；　'and　I　want　to　get　rid　of　him。　Here　is　my　cab　fare；　wait
ten　minutes　before　you　give　it　to　the　driver；　and　let　me　out　at
once　by　the　back　way！'　In　a　moment　I　was　out　in　the　mews；　in
another；　I　was　in　the　next　street；　in　a　third；　I　hailed　a　passing
omnibus；　and　was　a　free　woman　again。

〃Having　now　cut　off　all　communication　between　me　and　my　last
lodgings；　the　next　precaution　（in　case　Midwinter　or　Armadale　are
watched）　is　to　cut　off　all　communication；　for　some　days　to　come
at　least；　between　me　and　the　hotel。　I　have　written　to
Midwintermaking　my　supposititious　mother　once　more　the
excuseto　say　that　I　am　tied　to　my　nursing　duties；　and　that　we
must　communicate　by　writing　only　for　the　present。　Doubtful　as　I
still　am　of　who　my　hidden　enemy　really　is；　I　can　do　no　more　to
defend　myself　than　I　have　done　now。


〃August　4th。The　two　friends　at　the　hotel　had　both　written　to
me。　Midwinter　expresses　his　regret　at　our　separation；　in　the
tenderest　terms。　Armadale　writes　an　entreaty　for　help　under　very
awkward　circumstances。　A　letter　from　Major　Milroy　has　been
forwarded　to　him　from　the　great　house；　and　he　incloses　it　in　his
letter　to　me。

〃Having　left　the　seaside；　and　placed　his　daughter　safely　at　the
school　originally　chosen　for　her　（in　the　neighborhood　of　Ely）；
the　major　appears　to　have　returned　to　Thorpe　Ambrose　at　the　close
of　last　week；　to　have　heard　then；　for　the　first　time；　the　reports
about　Armadale　and　me；　and　to　have　written　instantly　to　Armadale
to　tell　him　so。

〃The　letter　is　stern　and　short。　Major　Milroy　dismisses　the　report
as　unworthy　of　credit；　because　it　is　impossible　for　him　to
believe　in　such　an　act　of　'cold…blooded　treachery；'　as　the
scandal　would　imply；　if　the　scandal　were　true。　He　simply　writes
to　warn　Armadale　that；　if　he　is　not　more　careful　in　his　actions
for　the　future；　he　must　resign　all　pretensions　to　Miss　Milroy's
hand。　'I　neither　expect；　nor　wish　for；　an　answer　to　this'　（the
letter　ends）；　'for　I　desire　to　receive　no　mere　protestations　in
words。　By　your　conduct；　and　by　your　conduct　alone；　I　shall　judge
you　as　time　goes　on。　Let　me　also　add　that　I　positively　forbid　you
to　consider　this　letter　as　an　excuse　for　violating　the　terms
agreed　on　between　us；　by　writing　again　to　my　daughter。　You　have
no　need　to　justify　yourself　in　her　eyes；　for　I　fortunately
removed　her　from　Thorpe　Ambrose　before　this　abominable　report　had
time　to　reach　her；　and　I　shall　take　good　care；　for　her　sake；　that
she　is　not　agitated　and　unsettled　by　hearing　it　where　she　is
now。'

〃Armadale's　petition　to　me；　under　these　circumstances；　entreats
（as　I　am　the　innocent　cause　of　the　new　attack　on　his　character）
that　I　will　write　to　the　major　to　absolve　him　of　all　indiscretion
in　the　matter；　and　to　say　that　he　could　not；　in　common
politeness；　do　otherwise　than　accompany　me　to　London。

〃I　forgive　the　impudence　of　his　request；　in　consideration　of　the
news　that　he　sends　me。　It　is　certainly　another　circumstance　in　my
favor　that　the　scandal　at　Thorpe　Ambrose　is　not　to　be　allowed　to
reach　Miss　Milroy's　ears。　With　her　temper　（if　she　did　hear　it）
she　might　do　something　desperate　in　the　way　of　claiming　her
lover；　and　might　compromise　me　seriously。　As　for　my　own　course
with　Armadale；　it　is　easy　enough。　I　shall　quiet　him　by　promising
to　write　to　Major　Milroy；　and　I　shall　take　the　liberty；　in　my　own
private　interests；　of　not　keeping　my　word。

〃Nothing　in　the　least　suspicious　has　happened　to…day。　Whoever　my
enemies　are；　they　have　lost　me；　and　between　this　and　the　time
when　I　leave　England　they　shall　not　find　me　again。　I　have　been　to
the　post…office；　and　have　got　the　ticket　for　my　luggage；　inclosed
to　me　in　a　letter　from　All　Saints'　Terrace；　as　I　directed。　The
luggage　itself　I　shall　still　leave　at　the　cloak…room；　until　I　see
the　way　before　me　more　clearly　than　I　see　it　now。


〃August　5th。Two　letters　again　from　the　hotel。　Midwinter　writes
to　remind　me；　in　the　prettiest　possible　manner；　that　he　will　have
lived　long　enough　in　the　parish　by　to…morrow　to　be　able　to　get
our　marriage…license；　and　that　he　proposes　applying　for　it　in　the
usual　way　at　Doctors'　Commons。　Now；　if　I　am　ever　to　say　it；　is
the　time　to　say　No。　I　can't　say　No。　There　is　the　plain　truthand
there　is　an　end　of　it！

〃Armadale's　letter　is　a　letter　of　farewell。　He　thanks　me　for　my
kindness　in　consenting　to　write　to　the　major；　and　bids　me
good…by；　till　we　meet　again　at　Naples。　He　has　learned　from　his
friend　that　there　are　private　reasons　which　will　oblige　him　to
forbid　himself　the　pleasure　of　being　present　at　our　marriage。
Under　these　circumstances；　there　is　nothing　to　keep　him　in
London。　He　has　made　all　his　business　arrangements；　he　goes　to
Somersetshire　by　to…night's　train；　and；　after　staying　some　time
with　Mr。　Brock；　he　will　sail　for　the　Mediterranean　from　the
Bristol　Channel　（in　spite　of　Midwinter's　objections）　in　his　own
yacht。

〃The　letter　incloses　a　jeweler's　box；　with　a　ring　in
itArmadale's　present　to　me　on　my　marriage。　It　is　a　rubybut
rather　a　small　one；　and　set　in　the　worst　possible　taste。　He　would
have　given　Miss　Milroy　a　ring　worth　ten　times　the　money；　if　it
had　been　_her_　marriage　present。　There　is　no　more　hatefu