madame bovary(包法利夫人)-第7部分

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down　around　her）　thought　of　her　bridal　flowers　packed　up　in　a
bandbox；　and　wondered；　dreaming；　what　would　be　done　with　them　if
she　were　to　die。
During　the　first　days　she　occupied　herself　in　thinking　about
changes　in　the　house。　She　took　the　shades　off　the　candlesticks；
had　new　wallpaper　put　up；　the　staircase　repainted；　and　seats　made
in　the　garden　round　the　sundial；　she　even　inquired　how　she　could
get　a　basin　with　a　jet　fountain　and　fishes。　Finally　her　husband；
knowing　that　she　liked　to　drive　out；　picked　up　a　second…hand
dogcart；　which；　with　new　lamps　and　splashboard　in　striped
leather；　looked　almost　like　a　tilbury。
He　was　happy　then；　and　without　a　care　in　the　world。　A　meal
together；　a　walk　in　the　evening　on　the　highroad；　a　gesture　of　her
hands　over　her　hair；　the　sight　of　her　straw　hat　hanging　from　the
window…fastener；　and　many　another　thing　in　which　Charles　had
never　dreamed　of　pleasure；　now　made　up　the　endless　round　of　his
happiness。　In　bed；　in　the　morning；　by　her　side；　on　the　pillow；　he
watched　the　sunlight　sinking　into　the　down　on　her　fair　cheek；
half　hidden　by　the　lappets　of　her　night…cap。　Seen　thus　closely；
her　eyes　looked　to　him　enlarged；　especially　when；　on　waking　up；
she　opened　and　shut　them　rapidly　many　times。　Black　in　the　shade；
dark　blue　in　broad　daylight；　they　had；　as　it　were；　depths　of
different　colours；　that；　darker　in　the　centre；　grew　paler　towards
the　surface　of　the　eye。　His　own　eyes　lost　themselves　in　these
depths；　he　saw　himself　in　miniature　down　to　the　shoulders；　with
his　handkerchief　round　his　head　and　the　top　of　his　shirt　open。　He
rose。　She　came　to　the　window　to　see　him　off；　and　stayed　leaning
on　the　sill　between　two　pots　of　geranium；　clad　in　her　dressing
gown　hanging　loosely　about　her。　Charles；　in　the　street　buckled
his　spurs；　his　foot　on　the　mounting　stone；　while　she　talked　to
him　from　above；　picking　with　her　mouth　some　scrap　of　flower　or
leaf　that　she　blew　out　at　him。　Then　this；　eddying；　floating；
described　semicircles　in　the　air　like　a　bird；　and　was　caught
before　it　reached　the　ground　in　the　ill…groomed　mane　of　the　old
white　mare　standing　motionless　at　the　door。　Charles　from
horseback　threw　her　a　kiss；　she　answered　with　a　nod；　she　shut　the
window；　and　he　set　off。　And　then　along　the　highroad；　spreading
out　its　long　ribbon　of　dust；　along　the　deep　lanes　that　the　trees
bent　over　as　in　arbours；　along　paths　where　the　corn　reached　to
the　knees；　with　the　sun　on　his　back　and　the　morning　air　in　his
nostrils；　his　heart　full　of　the　joys　of　the　past　night；　his　mind
at　rest；　his　flesh　at　ease；　he　went　on；　re…chewing　his　happiness；
like　those　who　after　dinner　taste　again　the　truffles　which　they
are　digesting。
Until　now　what　good　had　he　had　of　his　life？　His　time　at　school；
when　he　remained　shut　up　within　the　high　walls；　alone；　in　the
midst　of　companions　richer　than　he　or　cleverer　at　their　work；　who
laughed　at　his　accent；　who　jeered　at　his　clothes；　and　whose
mothers　came　to　the　school　with　cakes　in　their　muffs？　Later　on；
when　he　studied　medicine；　and　never　had　his　purse　full　enough　to
treat　some　little　work…girl　who　would　have　become　his　mistress？
Afterwards；　he　had　lived　fourteen　months　with　the　widow；　whose
feet　in　bed　were　cold　as　icicles。　But　now　he　had　for　life　this
beautiful　woman　whom　he　adored。　For　him　the　universe　did　not
extend　beyond　the　circumference　of　her　petticoat；　and　he
reproached　himself　with　not　loving　her。　He　wanted　to　see　her
again；　he　turned　back　quickly；　ran　up　the　stairs　with　a　beating
heart。　Emma；　in　her　room；　was　dressing；　he　came　up　on　tiptoe；
kissed　her　back；　she　gave　a　cry。
He　could　not　keep　from　constantly　touching　her　comb；　her　ring；
her　fichu；　sometimes　he　gave　her　great　sounding　kisses　with　all
his　mouth　on　her　cheeks；　or　else　little　kisses　in　a　row　all　along
her　bare　arm　from　the　tip　of　her　fingers　up　to　her　shoulder；　and
she　put　him　away　half…smiling；　half…vexed；　as　you　do　a　child　who
hangs　about　you。
Before　marriage　she　thought　herself　in　love；　but　the　happiness
that　should　have　followed　this　love　not　having　come；　she　must；
she　thought；　have　been　mistaken。　And　Emma　tried　to　find　out　what
one　meant　exactly　in　life　by　the　words　felicity；　passion；
rapture；　that　had　seemed　to　her　so　beautiful　in　books。

Chapter　Six
She　had　read　〃Paul　and　Virginia；〃　and　she　had　dreamed　of　the
little　bamboo…house；　the　nigger　Domingo；　the　dog　Fiddle；　but
above　all　of　the　sweet　friendship　of　some　dear　little　brother；
who　seeks　red　fruit　for　you　on　trees　taller　than　steeples；　or　who
runs　barefoot　over　the　sand；　bringing　you　a　bird's　nest。
When　she　was　thirteen；　her　father　himself　took　her　to　town　to
place　her　in　the　convent。　They　stopped　at　an　inn　in　the　St。
Gervais　quarter；　where；　at　their　supper；　they　used　painted　plates
that　set　forth　the　story　of　Mademoiselle　de　la　Valliere。　The
explanatory　legends；　chipped　here　and　there　by　the　scratching　of
knives；　all　glorified　religion；　the　tendernesses　of　the　heart；
and　the　pomps　of　court。
Far　from　being　bored　at　first　at　the　convent；　she　took　pleasure
in　the　society　of　the　good　sisters；　who；　to　amuse　her；　took　her
to　the　chapel；　which　one　entered　from　the　refectory　by　a　long
corridor。　She　played　very　little　during　recreation　hours；　knew
her　catechism　well；　and　it　was　she　who　always　answered　Monsieur
le　Vicaire's　difficult　questions。　Living　thus；　without　every
leaving　the　warm　atmosphere　of　the　classrooms；　and　amid　these
pale…faced　women　wearing　rosaries　with　brass　crosses；　she　was
softly　lulled　by　the　mystic　languor　exhaled　in　the　perfumes　of
the　altar；　the　freshness　of　the　holy　water；　and　the　lights　of　the
tapers。　Instead　of　attending　to　mass；　she　looked　at　the　pious
vignettes　with　their　azure　borders　in　her　book；　and　she　loved　the
sick　lamb；　the　sacred　heart　pierced　with　sharp　arrows；　or　the
poor　Jesus　sinking　beneath　the　cross　he　carries。　She　tried；　by
way　of　mortification；　to　eat　nothing　a　whole　day。　She　puzzled　her
head　to　find　some　vow　to　fulfil。
When　she　went　to　confession；　she　invented　little　sins　in　order
that　she　might　stay　there　longer；　kneeling　in　the　shadow；　her
hands　joined；　her　face　against　the　grating　beneath　the　whispering
of　the　priest。　The　comparisons　of　betrothed；　husband；　celestial
lover；　and　eternal　marriage；　that　recur　in　sermons；　stirred
within　her　soul　depths　of　unexpected　sweetness。
In　the　evening；　before　prayers；　there　was　some　religious　reading
in　the　study。　On　week…nights　it　was　some　abstract　of　sacred
history　or　the　Lectures　of　the　Abbe　Frayssinous；　and　on　Sundays
passages　from　the　〃Genie　du　Christianisme；〃　as　a　recreation。　How
she　listened　at　first　to　the　sonorous　lamentations　of　its
romantic　melancholies　reechoing　through　the　world　and　eternity！
If　her　childhood　had　been　spent　in　the　shop…parlour　of　some
business　quarter；　she　might　perhaps　have　opened　her　heart　to
those　lyrical　invasions　of　Nature；　which　usually　come　to　us　only
through　translation　in　books。　But　she　knew　the　country　too　well；
she　knew　the　lowing　of　cattle；　the　milking；　the　ploughs。
Accustomed　to　calm　aspects　of　life；　she　turned；　on　the　contrary；
to　those　of　excitement。　She　loved　the　sea　only　for　the　sake　of
its　storms；　and　the　green　fields　only　when　broken　up　by　ruins。
She　wanted　to　get　some　personal　profit　out　of　things；　and　she
rejected　as　useless　all　that　did　not　contribute　to　the　immediate
desires　of　her　heart；　being　of　a　temperament　more　sentimental
than　artistic；　looking　for　emotions；　not　landscapes。
At　the　convent　there　was　an　old　maid　who　came　for　a　week　each
month　to　mend　the　linen。　Patronized　by　the　clergy；　because　she
belonged　to　an　ancient　family　of　noblemen　ruined　by　the
Revolution；　she　dined　in　the　refectory　at　the　table　of　the　good
sisters；　and　after　the　meal　had　a　bit　of　chat　with　them　before
going　back　to　her　work。　The　girls　often　slipped　out　from　the
study　to　go　and　see　her。　She　knew　by　heart　the　love　songs　of　the
last　century；　and　sang　them　in　a　low　voice　as　she　stitched　away。
She　told　stories；　gave　them　news；　went　errands　in　the　town；　and
on　the　sly　lent　the　big　girls　some　novel；　that　she　always　carried
in　the　pockets　of　her　apron；　and　of　which　the　good　lady　herself
swallowed　long　chapters　in　the　intervals　of　her　work。　They　were
all　love；　lovers；　sweethearts；　persecuted　ladies　fainting　in
lonely　pavilions；　postilions　killed　at　every　stage；　horses　ridden
to　death　on　every　page；　sombre　forests；　heartaches；　vows；　sobs；
tears　and　kisses；　little　skiffs　by　moonlight；　nightingales　in
shady　groves；　〃gentlemen〃　brave　as　lions；　gentle　as　lambs；
virtuous　as　no　one　ever　was；　always　well　dressed；　and　weeping
like　fountains。　For　six　months；　then；　Emma；　at　fifteen　years　of
age；　made　her　hands　dirty　with　books　from　old　lending　libraries。
Through　Walter　Scott；　later　on；　she　fell　in　love　with　historical
events；　dreamed　of　old　chests；　guard…rooms　and　minstrels。　She
would　have　liked　to　live　in　some　old　manor…house；　like　those
long…waisted　chatelaines　who；　in　the　shade　of　pointed　arches；
spent　their　days　leaning　on　the　stone；　chin　in　hand；　watching　a
cavalier　with　white　plume　galloping　on　his　black　horse　from　the
distant　fields。　At　this　time　she　had　a　cult　for　Mary　Stuart　and
enthusiastic　veneration　for　illustrious　or　unhappy　women。　Joan　of
Arc；　Heloise；　Agnes　Sorel；　the　beautiful　Ferroniere；　and　Clemence
Isaure　stood　out　to　her　like　comets　in　the　dark　immensity　of
heaven；　where　also　were　seen；　lost　in　shadow；　and　all
unconnected；　St。　Louis　with　his　oak；　the　dying　Bayard；　some
cruelties　of　Louis　XI；　a　little　of　St。　Bartholomew's　Day；　the
plume　of　the　Bearnais；　and　always　the　remembrance　of　the　plates
painted　in　honour　of　Louis　XIV。
In　the　music　class；　in　the　ballads　she　sang；　there　was　nothing
but　little　angels　with　golden　wings；　madonnas；　lagunes；
gondoliers；…mild　compositions　that　allowed　her　to　catch　a　glimpse
athwart　the　obscurity　of　style　and　the　weakness　of　the　music　of
the　attractive　phantasmagoria　of　sentimental　realities。　Some　of
her　companions　brought　〃keepsakes〃　given　them　as　new　year's　gifts
to　the　convent。　These　had　to　be　hidden；　it　was　quite　an
undertaking；　they　were　read　in　the　dormitory。　Delicately　handling
the　beautiful　satin　bindings；　Emma　looked　with　dazzled　eyes　at
the　names　of　the　unknown　authors；　wh