the moscow census-第9部分

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daughter。　　If　any　one　was　to　be　saved；　then　it　must　be　this　woman
the　mother　ought　to　have　been　saved；　＇and　that　long　before；　from　that
view　of　life　which　is　approved　by　every　one；　according　to　which　a
woman　may　live　unmarried；　that　is；　without　bearing　children　and
without　work；　and　simply　for　the　satisfaction　of　the　passions。　　If　I
had　thought　of　this；　I　should　have　understood　that　the　majority　of
the　ladies　whom　I　intended　to　send　thither　for　the　salvation　of　that
little　girl；　not　only　live　without　bearing　children　and　without
working；　and　serving　only　passion；　but　that　they　deliberately　rear
their　daughters　for　the　same　life；　one　mother　takes　her　daughter　to
the　taverns；　another　takes　hers　to　balls。　　But　both　mothers　hold　the
same　view　of　the　world；　namely；　that　a　woman　must　satisfy　man's
passions；　and　that　for　this　she　must　be　fed；　dressed；　and　cared　for。
Then　how　are　our　ladies　to　reform　this　woman　and　her　daughter？　｛10｝　＇



CHAPTER　IX。



Still　more　remarkable　were　my　relations　to　the　children。　　In　my　role
of　benefactor；　I　turned　my　attention　to　the　children　also；　being
desirous　to　save　these　innocent　beings　from　perishing　in　that　lair　of
vice；　and　noting　them　down　in　order　to　attend　to　them　AFTERWARDS。

Among　the　children；　I　was　especially　struck　with　a　twelve…year…old
lad　named　Serozha。　　I　was　heartily　sorry　for　this　bold；　intelligent
lad；　who　had　lived　with　a　cobbler；　and　who　had　been　left　without　a
shelter　because　his　master　had　been　put　in　jail；　and　I　wanted　to　do
good　to　him。

I　will　here　relate　the　upshot　of　my　benevolence　in　his　case；　because
my　experience　with　this　child　is　best　adapted　to　show　my　false
position　in　the　role　of　benefactor。　　I　took　the　boy　home　with　me　and
put　him　in　the　kitchen。　　It　was　impossible；　was　it　not；　to　take　a
child　who　had　lived　in　a　den　of　iniquity　in　among　my　own　children？
And　I　considered　myself　very　kind　and　good；　because　he　was　a　care；
not　to　me；　but　to　the　servants　in　the　kitchen；　and　because　not　I　but
the　cook　fed　him；　and　because　I　gave　him　some　cast…off　clothing　to
wear。　　The　boy　staid　a　week。　　During　that　week　I　said　a　few　words　to
him　as　I　passed　on　two　occasions　and　in　the　course　of　my　strolls；　I
went　to　a　shoemaker　of　my　acquaintance；　and　proposed　that　he　should
take　the　lad　as　an　apprentice。　　A　peasant　who　was　visiting　me；
invited　him　to　go　to　the　country；　into　his　family；　as　a　laborer；　the
boy　refused；　and　at　the　end　of　the　week　he　disappeared。　　I　went　to
the　Rzhanoff　house　to　inquire　after　him。　　He　had　returned　there；　but
was　not　at　home　when　I　went　thither。　　For　two　days　already；　he　had
been　going　to　the　Pryesnensky　ponds；　where　he　had　hired　himself　out
at　thirty　kopeks　a　day　in　some　procession　of　savages　in　costume；　who
led　about　elephants。　　Something　was　being　presented　to　the　public
there。　　I　went　a　second　time；　but　he　was　so　ungrateful　that　he
evidently　avoided　me。　　Had　I　then　reflected　on　the　life　of　that　boy
and　on　my　own；　I　should　have　understood　that　this　boy　was　spoiled
because　he　had　discovered　the　possibility　of　a　merry　life　without
labor；　and　that　he　had　grown　unused　to　work。　　And　I；　with　the　object
of　benefiting　and　reclaiming　him；　had　taken　him　to　my　house；　where　he
sawwhat？　　My　children；both　older　and　younger　than　himself；　and　of
the　same　age；who　not　only　never　did　any　work　for　themselves；　but
who　made　work　for　others　by　every　means　in　their　power；　who　soiled
and　spoiled　every　thing　about　them；　who　ate　rich；　dainty；　and　sweet
viands；　broke　china；　and　flung　to　the　dogs　food　which　would　have　been
a　tidbit　to　this　lad。　　If　I　had　rescued　him　from　the　abyss；　and　had
taken　him　to　that　nice　place；　then　he　must　acquire　those　views　which
prevailed　in　the　life　of　that　nice　place；　but　by　these　views；　he
understood　that　in　that　fine　place　he　must　so　live　that　he　should　not
toil；　but　eat　and　drink　luxuriously；　and　lead　a　joyous　life。　　It　is
true　that　he　did　not　know　that　my　children　bore　heavy　burdens　in　the
acquisition　of　the　declensions　of　Latin　and　Greek　grammar；　and　that
he　could　not　have　understood　the　object　of　these　labors。　　But　it　is
impossible　not　to　see　that　if　he　had　understood　this；　the　influence
of　my　children's　example　on　him　would　have　been　even　stronger。　　He
would　then　have　comprehended　that　my　children　were　being　educated　in
this　manner；　so　that；　while　doing　no　work　now；　they　might　be　in　a
position　hereafter；　also　profiting　by　their　diplomas；　to　work　as
little　as　possible；　and　to　enjoy　the　pleasures　of　life　to　as　great　an
extent　as　possible。　　He　did　understand　this；　and　he　would　not　go　with
the　peasant　to　tend　cattle；　and　to　eat　potatoes　and　kvas　with　him；
but　he　went　to　the　zoological　garden　in　the　costume　of　a　savage；　to
lead　the　elephant　at　thirty　kopeks　a　day。

I　might　have　understood　how　clumsy　I　was；　when　I　was　rearing　my
children　in　the　most　utter　idleness　and　luxury；　to　reform　other
people　and　their　children；　who　were　perishing　from　idleness　in　what　I
called　the　den　of　the　Rzhanoff　house；　where；　nevertheless；　three…
fourths　of　the　people　toil　for　themselves　and　for　others。　　But　I
understood　nothing　of　this。

There　were　a　great　many　children　in　the　Rzhanoff　house；　who　were　in
the　same　pitiable　plight；　there　were　the　children　of　dissolute　women；
there　were　orphans；　there　were　children　who　had　been　picked　up　in　the
streets　by　beggars。　　They　were　all　very　wretched。　　But　my　experience
with　Serozha　showed　me　that　I；　living　the　life　I　did；　was　not　in　a
position　to　help　them。

While　Serozha　was　living　with　us；　I　noticed　in　myself　an　effort　to
hide　our　life　from　him；　in　particular　the　life　of　our　children。　　I
felt　that　all　my　efforts　to　direct　him　towards　a　good；　industrious
life；　were　counteracted　by　the　examples　of　our　lives　and　by　that　of
our　children。　　It　is　very　easy　to　take　a　child　away　from　a
disreputable　woman；　or　from　a　beggar。　　It　is　very　easy；　when　one　has
the　money；　to　wash；　clean　and　dress　him　in　neat　clothing；　to　support
him；　and　even　to　teach　him　various　sciences；　but　it　is　not　only
difficult　for　us；　who　do　not　earn　our　own　bread；　but　quite　the
reverse；　to　teach　him　to　work　for　his　bread；　but　it　is　impossible；
because　we；　by　our　example；　and　even　by　those　material　and　valueless
improvements　of　his　life；　inculcate　the　contrary。　　A　puppy　can　be
taken；　tended；　fed；　and　taught　to　fetch　and　carry；　and　one　may　take
pleasure　in　him：　　but　it　is　not　enough　to　tend　a　man；　to　feed　and
teach　him　Greek；　we　must　teach　the　man　how　to　live；that　is；　to　take
as　little　as　possible　from　others；　and　to　give　as　much　as　possible；
and　we　cannot　help　teaching　him　to　do　the　contrary；　if　we　take　him
into　our　houses；　or　into　an　institution　founded　for　this　purpose。



CHAPTER　X。



This　feeling　of　compassion　for　people；　and　of　disgust　with　myself；
which　I　had　experienced　in　the　Lyapinsky　house；　I　experienced　no
longer。　　I　was　completely　absorbed　in　the　desire　to　carry　out　the
scheme　which　I　had　concocted；to　do　good　to　those　people　whom　I
should　meet　here。　　And；　strange　to　say；　it　would　appear；　that；　to　do
goodto　give　money　to　the　needyis　a　very　good　deed；　and　one　that
should　dispose　me　to　love　for　the　people；　but　it　turned　out　the
reverse：　　this　act　produced　in　me　ill…will　and　an　inclination　to
condemn　people。　　But　during　our　first　evening　tour；　a　scene　occurred
exactly　like　that　in　the　Lyapinsky　house；　and　it　called　forth　a
wholly　different　sentiment。

It　began　by　my　finding　in　one　set　of　apartments　an　unfortunate
individual；　of　precisely　the　sort　who　require　immediate　aid。　　I　found
a　hungry　woman　who　had　had　nothing　to　eat　for　two　days。

It　came　about　thus：　　in　one　very　large　and　almost　empty　night…
lodging；　I　asked　an　old　woman　whether　there　were　many　poor　people　who
had　nothing　to　eat？　　The　old　woman　reflected；　and　then　told　me　of
two；　and　then；　as　though　she　had　just　recollected；　〃Why；　here　is　one
of　them；〃　said　she；　glancing　at　one　of　the　occupied　bunks。　　〃I　think
that　woman　has　had　no　food。〃

〃Really？　　Who　is　she？〃

〃She　was　a　dissolute　woman：　　no　one　wants　any　thing　to　do　with　her
now；　so　she　has　no　way　of　getting　any　thing。　　The　landlady　has　had
compassion　on　her；　but　now　she　means　to　turn　her　out　。　。　。　Agafya；
hey　there；　Agafya！〃　cried　the　woman。

We　approached；　and　something　rose　up　in　the　bunk。　　It　was　a　woman
haggard　and　dishevelled；　whose　hair　was　half　gray；　and　who　was　as
thin　as　a　skeleton；　dressed　in　a　ragged　and　dirty　chemise；　and　with
particularly　brilliant　and　staring　eyes。　　She　looked　past　us　with　her
staring　eyes；　clutched　at　her　jacket　with　one　thin　hand；　in　order　to
cover　her　bony　breast　which　was　disclosed　by　her　tattered　chemise；
and　oppressed；　she　cried；　〃What　is　it？　what　is　it？〃　　I　asked　her
about　her　means　of　livelihood。　　For　a　long　time　she　did　not
understand；　and　said；　〃I　don't　know　myself；　they　persecute　me。〃　　I
asked　her；it　puts　me　to　shame；　my　hand　refuses　to　write　it；I
asked　her　whether　it　was　true　that　she　had　nothing　to　eat？　　She
answered　in　the　same　hurried；　feverish　tone；　staring　at　me　the
while；〃No；　I　had　nothing　yesterday；　and　I　have　had　nothing　to…day。〃

The　sight　of　this　woman　touched　me；　but　not　at　all　as　had　been　the
case　in　the　Lyapinsky　house；　there；　my　pity　for　these　people　made　me
instantly　feel　ashamed　of　myself：　　but　here；　I　rejoiced　because　I　had
at　last　found　what　I　had　been　seeking；a　hungry　person。

I　gave　her　a　ruble；　and　I　recollect　being　very　glad　that　others　saw
it。　　The　old　woman；　on　seeing　this；　immediately　begged　money　of　me
also。　　It　afforded　me　such　pleasure　to　give；　that；　without　finding
out　whether　it　was　necessary　to　give　or　not；　I　gave　something　to　the
old　woman　too。　　The　old　woman　accompanied　me　to　the　door；　and　the
people　standing　in　the　corridor　heard　her　blessing　me。　　Probably　the
questions　which　I　had　put　with　regard　to　poverty；　had　aroused
expectation；　and　several　persons　followed　us。　　In　the　corridor　also；
they　began　to　ask　me　for　money。　　Among　those　who　begged　were　some
drunken　men；　who　aroused　an　unpleasant　feeling　in　me；　but；　having
once　given　to　the　old　woman；　I　had　no　might　to　refuse　these　people；
and　I　began　to　give。　　As　long　as　I　continued　to　give；　people　kept
coming　up；　and　excitement　ran　through　all　the　lodgings。　　Peopl