the queen of hearts-第71部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


had　so　much　as　begun。

It　was　a　relief　when　Owen'　s　quiet　voice　stole　over　the　weary
silence；　and　pleaded　for　our　attention　to　the　occupation　of　the
night。

〃Number　Six；〃　he　said；　〃is　the　number　that　chance　has　left　to
remain　till　the　last。　The　manuscript　to　which　it　refers　is　not；
as　you　may　see；　in　my　handw　riting。　It　consists　entirely　of
passages　from　the　Diary　of　a　poor　hard…working　girlpassages
which　tell　an　artless　story　of　love　and　friendship　in　humble
life。　When　that　story　has　come　to　an　end；　I　may　inform　you　how　I
became　possessed　of　it。　If　I　did　so　now；　I　should　only　forestall
one　important　part　of　the　interest　of　the　narrative。　I　have　made
no　attempt　to　find　a　striking　title　for　it。　It　is　called；　simply
and　plainly；　after　the　name　of　the　writer　of　the　Diarythe　Story
of　Anne　Rodway。〃

In　the　short　pause　that　Owen　made　before　he　began　to　read；　I
listened　anxiously　for　the　sound　of　a　traveler's　approach
outside。　At　short　intervals；　all　through　the　story；　I　listened
and　listened　again。　Still；　nothing　caught　my　ear　but　the　trickle
of　the　rain　and　the　rush　of　the　sweeping　wind　through　the　valley；
sinking　gradually　lower　and　lower　as　the　night　advanced。


BROTHER　OWEN'S　STORY

of

ANNE　RODWAY。

＇TAKEN　FROM　HER　DIARY。＇


*　*　*　MARCH　3d；　1840。　A　long　letter　today　from　Robert；　which
surprised　and　vexed　me　so　that　I　have　been　sadly　behindhand　with
my　work　ever　since。　He　writes　in　worse　spirits　than　last　time；
and　absolutely　declares　that　he　is　poorer　even　than　when　he　went
to　America；　and　that　he　has　made　up　his　mind　to　come　home　to
London。

How　happy　I　should　be　at　this　news；　if　he　only　returned　to　me　a
prosperous　man！　As　it　is；　though　I　love　him　dearly；　I　cannot　look
forward　to　the　meeting　him　again；　disappointed　and　broken　down；
and　poorer　than　ever；　without　a　feeling　almost　of　dread　for　both
of　us。　I　was　twenty…six　last　birthday　and　he　was　thirty…three；
and　there　seems　less　chance　now　than　ever　of　our　being　married。
It　is　all　I　can　do　to　keep　myself　by　my　needle；　and　his
prospects；　since　he　failed　in　the　small　stationery　business　three
years　ago；　are　worse；　if　possible；　than　mine。

Not　that　I　mind　so　much　for　myself；　women；　in　all　ways　of　life；
and　especially　in　my　dressmaking　way；　learn；　I　think；　to　be　more
patient　than　men。　What　I　dread　is　Robert's　despondency；　and　the
hard　struggle　he　will　have　in　this　cruel　city　to　get　his　bread；
let　alone　making　money　enough　to　marry　me。　So　little　as　poor
people　want　to　set　up　in　housekeeping　and　be　happy　together；　it
seems　hard　that　they　can't　get　it　when　they　are　honest　and
hearty；　and　willing　to　work。　The　clergyman　said　in　his　sermon
last　Sunday　evening　that　all　things　were　ordered　for　the　best；
and　we　are　all　put　into　the　stations　in　life　that　are　properest
for　us。　I　suppose　he　was　right；　being　a　very　clever　gentleman　who
fills　the　church　to　crowding；　but　I　think　I　should　have
understood　him　better　if　I　had　not　been　very　hungry　at　the　time；
in　consequence　of　my　own　station　in　life　being　nothing　but　plain
needlewoman。


March　4th。　Mary　Mallinson　came　down　to　my　room　to　take　a　cup　of
tea　with　me。　I　read　her　bits　of　Robert's　letter；　to　show　her
that；　if　she　has　her　troubles；　I　have　mine　too；　but　I　could　not
succeed　in　cheering　her。　She　says　she　is　born　to　misfortune；　and
that；　as　long　back　as　she　can　remember；　she　has　never　had　the
least　morsel　of　luck　to　be　thankful　for。　I　told　her　to　go　and
look　in　my　glass；　and　to　say　if　she　had　nothing　to　be　thankful
for　then；　for　Mary　is　a　very　pretty　girl；　and　would　look　still
prettier　if　she　could　be　more　cheerful　and　dress　neater。　However；
my　compliment　did　no　good。　She　rattled　her　spoon　impatiently　in
her　tea…cup；　and　said；　〃If　I　was　only　as　good　a　hand　at
needle…work　as　you　are；　Anne；　I　would　change　faces　with　the
ugliest　girl　in　London。〃　〃Not　you！〃　says　I；　laughing。　She　looked
at　me　for　a　moment；　and　shook　her　head；　and　was　out　of　the　room
before　I　could　get　up　and　stop　her。　She　always　runs　off　in　that
way　when　she　is　going　to　cry；　having　a　kind　of　pride　about
letting　other　people　see　her　in　tears。


March　5th。　A　fright　about　Mary。　I　had　not　seen　her　all　day；　as
she　does　not　work　at　the　same　place　where　I　do；　and　in　the
evening　she　never　came　down　to　have　tea　with　me；　or　sent　me　word
to　go　to　her；　so；　just　before　I　went　to　bed；　I　ran　upstairs　to
say　good…night。

She　did　not　answer　when　I　knocked；　and　when　I　stepped　softly　in
the　room　I　saw　her　in　bed；　asleep；　with　her　work　not　half　done；
lying　about　the　room　in　the　untidiest　way。　There　was　nothing
remarkable　in　that；　and　I　was　just　going　away　on　tiptoe；　when　a
tiny　bottle　and　wine…glass　on　the　chair　by　her　bedside　caught　my
eye。　I　thought　she　was　ill　and　had　been　taking　physic；　and　looked
at　the　bottle。　It　was　marked　in　large　letters；
〃LaudanumPoison。〃

My　heart　gave　a　jump　as　if　it　was　going　to　fly　out　of　me。　I　laid
hold　of　her　with　both　hands；　and　shook　her　with　all　my　might。　She
was　sleeping　heavily；　and　woke　slowly；　as　it　seemed　to　mebut
still　she　did　wake。　I　tried　to　pull　her　out　of　bed；　having　heard
that　people　ought　to　be　always　walked　up　and　down　when　they　have
taken　laudanum　but　she　resisted；　and　pushed　me　away　violently。

〃Anne！〃　says　she；　in　a　fright。　〃For　gracious　sake；　what's　come　to
you！　Are　you　out　of　your　senses？〃

〃Oh；　Mary！　Mary！〃　says　I；　holding　up　the　bottle　before　her；　〃if　I
hadn't　come　in　when　I　did〃　And　I　laid　hold　of　her　to　shake　her
again。

She　looked　puzzled　at　me　for　a　momentthen　smiled　（the　first
time　I　had　seen　her　do　so　for　many　a　long　day）then　put　her　arms
round　my　neck。

〃Don't　be　frightened　about　me；　Anne；〃　she　says；　〃I　am　not　worth
it；　and　there　is　no　need。〃

〃No　need！〃　says　I；　out　of　breath〃no　need；　when　the　bottle　has
got　Poison　marked　on　it！〃

〃Poison；　dear；　if　you　take　it　all；〃　says　Mary；　looking　at　me　very
tenderly；　〃and　a　night's　rest　if　you　only　take　a　little。〃

I　watched　her　for　a　moment；　doubtful　whether　I　ought　to　believe
what　she　said　or　to　alarm　the　house。　But　there　was　no　sleepiness
now　in　her　eyes；　and　nothing　drowsy　in　her　voice；　and　she　sat　up
in　bed　quite　easily；　without　anything　to　support　her。

〃You　have　given　me　a　dreadful　fright；　Mary；〃　says　I；　sitting　down
by　her　in　the　chair；　and　beginning　by　this　time　to　feel　rather
faint　after　being　startled　so。

She　jumped　out　of　bed　to　get　me　a　drop　of　water；　and　kissed　me；
and　said　how　sorry　she　was；　and　how　undeserving　of　so　much
interest　being　taken　in　her。　At　the　same　time；　she　tried　to
possess　herself　of　the　laudanum　bottle　which　I　still　kept　cuddled
up　tight　in　my　own　hands。

〃No；〃　says　I。　〃You　have　got　into　a　low…spirited；　despairing　way。
I　won't　trust　you　with　it。〃

〃I　am　afraid　I　can't　do　without　it；〃　says　Mary；　in　her　usual
quiet；　hopeless　voice。　〃What　with　work　that　I　can't　get　through
as　I　ought；　and　troubles　that　I　can't　help　thinking　of；　sleep
won't　come　to　me　unless　I　take　a　few　drops　out　of　that　bottle。
Don't　keep　it　away　from　me；　Anne；　it's　the　only　thing　in　the
world　that　makes　me　forget　myself。〃

〃Forget　yourself！〃　says　I。　〃You　have　no　right　to　talk　in　that
way；　at　your　age。　There's　something　horrible　in　the　notion　of　a
girl　of　eighteen　sleeping　with　a　bottle　of　laudanum　by　her
bedside　every　night。　We　all　of　us　have　our　troubles。　Haven't　I
got　mine？〃

〃You　can　do　twice　the　work　I　can；　twice　as　well　as　me；〃　says
Mary。　〃You　are　never　scolded　and　rated　at　for　awkwardness　with
your　needle；　and　I　always　am。　You　can　pay　for　your　room　every
week；　and　I　am　three　weeks　in　debt　for　mine。〃

〃A　little　more　practice；〃　says　I；　〃and　a　little　more　courage；　and
you　will　soon　do　better。　You　have　got　all　your　life　before　you〃

〃I　wish　I　was　at　the　end　of　it；〃　says　she；　breaking　in。　〃I　am
alone　in　the　world；　and　my　life's　no　good　to　me。〃

〃You　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　yourself　for　saying　so；〃　says　I。
〃Haven't　you　got　me　for　a　friend？　Didn't　I　take　a　fancy　to　you
when　first　you　left　your　step…mother　and　came　to　lodge　in　this
house？　And　haven't　I　been　sisters　with　you　ever　since？　Suppose
you　are　alone　in　the　world；　am　I　much　better　off？　I'm　an　orphan
like　you。　I've　almost　as　many　things　in　pawn　as　you；　and；　if　your
pockets　are　empty；　mine　have　only　got　ninepence　in　them；　to　last
me　for　all　the　rest　of　the　week。〃

〃Your　father　and　mother　were　honest　people；〃　says　Mary；
obstinately。　〃My　mother　ran　away　from　home；　and　died　in　a
hospital。　My　father　was　always　drunk；　and　always　beating　me。　My
step…mother　is　as　good　as　dead；　for　all　she　cares　about　me。　My
only　brother　is　thousands　of　miles　away　in　fore　ign　parts；　and
never　writes　to　me；　and　never　helps　me　with　a　farthing。　My
sweetheart〃

She　stopped；　and　the　red　flew　into　her　face。　I　knew；　if　she　went
on　that　way；　she　would　only　get　to　the　saddest　part　of　her　sad
story；　and　give　both　herself　and　me　unnecessary　pain。

〃_My_　sweetheart　is　too　poor　to　marry　me；　Mary；〃　I　said；　〃so　I'm
not　so　much　to　be　envied　even　there。　But　let's　give　over
disputing　which　is　worst　off。　Lie　down　in　bed；　and　let　me　tuck
you　up。　I'll　put　a　stitch　or　two　into　that　work　of　yours　while
you　go　to　sleep。〃

Instead　of　doing　what　I　told　her；　she　burst　out　crying　（being
very　like　a　child　in　some　of　her　ways）；　and　hugged　me　so　tight
round　the　neck　that　she　quite　hurt　me。　I　let　her　go　on　till　she
had　worn　herself　out；　and　was　obliged　to　lie　down。　Even　then；　her
last　few　words　before　she　dropped　off　to　sleep　were　such　as　I　was
half　sorry；　half　frightened　to　hear。

〃I　won't　plague　you　long；　Anne；〃　she　said。　〃I　haven't　courage　to
go　out　of　the　world　as　you　seem　to　fear　I　shall；　but　I　began　my
life　wretchedly；　and　wretchedly　I　am　sentenced　to　end　it。〃

It　was　of　no　use　lecturing　her　again；　for　she　closed　her　eyes。

I　tucked　her　up　as　neatly　as　I　could；　and　put　her　petticoat　over
her；　for　the　bedclothes　were　scanty；　and　her　hands　felt　cold。　She
looked　so　pretty　and　delicate　as　she　fell　asleep　that　it　quite
made　my　heart　ache　to　see　her；　after　such　talk　as　we　had　held
together。　I　just　waited　long　enough　to　be　quite　sure　that　she　was
in　the　land　of　dreams；　then　emptied　the　horrible　laudanum　bottle
into　the　grate；　took　up　her　half…done　work；　and；　going　out
softly；　left　her　for　that　night。


Marc