the essays of montaigne, v17-第7部分

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owe　essential　thanks　to　any　one。　　O　happy　liberty　wherein　I　have　thus　far
lived。　　May　it　continue　with　me　to　the　last。　　I　endeavour　to　have　no
express　need　of　any　one：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃In　me　omnis　spec　est　mihi。〃

　　　　　＇〃All　my　hope　is　in　myself。〃Terence；　Adelph。；　iii。　5；　9。＇

'Tis　what　every　one　may　do　in　himself；　but　more　easily　they　whom　God　has
placed　in　a　condition　exempt　from　natural　and　urgent　necessities。　　It　is
a　wretched　and　dangerous　thing　to　depend　upon　others；　we　ourselves；　in
whom　is　ever　the　most　just　and　safest　dependence；　are　not　sufficiently
sure。

I　have　nothing　mine　but　myself；　and　yet　the　possession　is；　in　part；
defective　and　borrowed。　　I　fortify　myself　both　in　courage；　which　is　the
strongest　assistant；　and　also　in　fortune；　therein　wherewith　to　satisfy
myself；　though　everything　else　should　forsake　me。　　Hippias　of　Elis　not
only　furnished　himself　with　knowledge；　that　he　might；　at　need；　cheerfully
retire　from　all　other　company　to　enjoy　the　Muses：　nor　only　with　the
knowledge　of　philosophy；　to　teach　his　soul　to　be　contented　with　itself；
and　bravely　to　subsist　without　outward　conveniences；　when　fate　would　have
it　so；　he　was；　moreover；　so　careful　as　to　learn　to　cook；　to　shave
himself；　to　make　his　own　clothes；　his　own　shoes　and　drawers；　to　provide
for　all　his　necessities　in　himself；　and　to　wean　himself　from　the
assistance　of　others。　　A　man　more　freely　and　cheerfully　enjoys　borrowed
conveniences；　when　it　is　not　an　enjoyment　forced　and　constrained　by　need；
and　when　he　has；　in　his　own　will　and　fortune；　the　means　to　live　without
them。　　I　know　myself　very　well；　but　'tis　hard　for　me　to　imagine　any　so
pure　liberality　of　any　one　towards　me；　any　so　frank　and　free　hospitality；
that　would　not　appear　to　me　discreditable；　tyrannical；　and　tainted　with
reproach；　if　necessity　had　reduced　me　to　it。　　As　giving　is　an　ambitious
and　authoritative　quality；　so　is　accepting　a　quality　of　submission；
witness　the　insulting　and　quarrelsome　refusal　that　Bajazet　made　of　the
presents　that　Tamerlane　sent　him；　and　those　that　were　offered　on　the　part
of　the　Emperor　Solyman　to　the　Emperor　of　Calicut；　so　angered　him；　that　he
not　only　rudely　rejected　them；　saying　that　neither　he　nor　any　of　his
predecessors　had　ever　been　wont　to　take；　and　that　it　was　their　office　to
give；　but；　moreover；　caused　the　ambassadors　sent　with　the　gifts　to　be　put
into　a　dungeon。　　When　Thetis；　says　Aristotle；　flatters　Jupiter；　when　the
Lacedaemonians　flatter　the　Athenians；　they　do　not　put　them　in　mind　of　the
good　they　have　done　them；　which　is　always　odious；　but　of　the　benefits
they　have　received　from　them。　　Such　as　I　see　so　frequently　employ　every
one　in　their　affairs；　and　thrust　themselves　into　so　much　obligation；
would　never　do　it；　did　they　but　relish　as　I　do　the　sweetness　of　a　pure
liberty；　and　did　they　but　weigh；　as　wise：　men　should；　the　burden　of
obligation：　'tis　sometimes；　peradventure；　fully　paid；　but　'tis　never
dissolved。　　'Tis　a　miserable　slavery　to　a　man　who　loves　to　be　at　full
liberty　in　all　reapects。　　Such　as　know　me；　both　above　and　below　me　in
station；　are　able　to　say　whether　they　have　ever　known　a　man　less
importuning；　soliciting；　entreating；　and　pressing　upon　others　than　I。
If　I　am　so；　and　a　degree　beyond　all　modern　example；　'tis　no　great　wonder；
so　many　parts　of　my　manners　contributing　to　it：　a　little　natural　pride；
an　impatience　at　being　refused；　the　moderation　of　my　desires　and　designs；
my　incapacity　for　business；　and　my　most　beloved　qualities；　idleness　and
freedom；　by　all　these　together　I　have　conceived　a　mortal　hatred　to　being
obliged　to　any　other；　or　by　any　other　than　myself。　　I　leave　no　stone
unturned；　to　do　without　it；　rather　than　employ　the　bounty　of　another　in
any　light　or　important　occasion　or　necessity　whatever。　　My　friends
strangely　trouble　me　when　they　ask　me　to　ask　a　third　person；　and　I　think
it　costs　me　little　less　to　disengage　him　who　is　indebted　to　me；　by　making
use　of　him；　than　to　engage　myself　to　him　who　owes　me　nothing。　　These
conditions　being　removed；　and　provided　they　require　of　me　nothing　if　any
great　trouble　or　care　（for　I　have　declared　mortal　war　against　all　care）；
I　am　very　ready　to　do　every　one　the　best　service　I　can。　　I　have　been　very
willing　to　seek　occasion　to　do　people　a　good　turn；　and　to　attach　them　to
me；　and　methinks　there　is　no　more　agreeable　employment　for　our　means。
But　I　have　yet　more　avoided　receiving　than　sought　occasions　of　giving；
and　moreover；　according　to　Aristotle；　it　is　more　easy。；　My　fortune　has
allowed　me　but　little　to　do　others　good　withal；　and　the　little　it　can
afford；　is　put　into　a　pretty　close　hand。　　Had　I　been　born　a　great　person；
I　should　have　been　ambitious　to　have　made　myself　beloved；　not　to　make
myself　feared　or　admired：　shall　I　more　plainly　express　it？　　I　should　more
have　endeavoured　to　please　than　to　profit　others。　　Cyrus　very　wisely；　and
by　the　mouth　of　a　great　captain；　and　still　greater　philosopher；　prefers
his　bounty　and　benefits　much　before　his　valour　and　warlike　conquests；
and　the　elder　Scipio；　wherever　he　would　raise　himself　in　esteem；　sets　a
higher　value　upon　his　affability　and　humanity；　than　on　his　prowess　and
victories；　and　has　always　this　glorious　saying　in　his　mouth：　〃That　he　has
given　his　enemies　as　much　occasion　to　love　him　as　his　friends。〃　　I　will
then　say；　that　if　a　man　must；　of　necessity；　owe　something；　it　ought　to　be
by　a　more　legitimate　title　than　that　whereof　I　am　speaking；　to　which　the
necessity　of　this　miserable　war　compels　me；　and　not　in　so　great　a　debt　as
that　of　my　total　preservation　both　of　life　and　fortune：　it　overwhelms　me。

I　have　a　thousand　times　gone　to　bed　in　my　own　house　with　an　apprehension
that　I　should　be　betrayed　and　murdered　that　very　night；　compounding　with
fortune；　that　it　might　be　without　terror　and　with　quick　despatch；　and；
after　my　Paternoster；　I　have　cried　out；

　　　　　　　　　　〃Impius　haec　tam　culta　novalia　miles　habebit！〃

　　　　　＇〃Shall　impious　soldiers　have　these　new…ploughed　grounds？〃
　　　　　Virgil；　Ecl。；　i。　71。＇

What　remedy？　　'tis　the　place　of　my　birth；　and　that　of　most　of　my
ancestors；　they　have　here　fixed　their　affection　and　name。　　We　inure
ourselves　to　whatever　we　are　accustomed　to；　and　in　so　miserable　a
condition　as　ours　is；　custom　is　a　great　bounty　of　nature；　which　benumbs
out　senses　to　the　sufferance　of　many　evils。　　A　civil　war　has　this　with　it
worse　than　other　wars　have；　to　make　us　stand　sentinels　in　our　own　houses。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Quam　miserum；　porta　vitam　muroque　tueri；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Vixque　suae　tutum　viribus　esse　domus！〃

　　　　　＇〃'Tis　miserable　to　protect　one's　life　by　doors　and　walls；　and　to　be
　　　　　scarcely　safe　in　one's　own　house。〃Ovid；　Trist。；　iv。　I；　69。＇

'Tis　a　grievous　extremity　for　a　man　to　be　jostled　even　in　his　own　house
and　domestic　repose。　　The　country　where　I　live　is　always　the　first　in
arms　and　the　last　that　lays　them　down；　and　where　there　is　never　an
absolute　peace：

　　　　　　　　　〃Tunc　quoque；　cum　pax　est；　trepidant　formidine　belli。。。。
　　　　　　　　　　Quoties　Romam　fortuna　lacessit；
　　　　　　　　　　Hac　iter　est　bellis。。。。　　Melius；　Fortuna；　dedisses
　　　　　　　　　　Orbe　sub　Eoo　sedem；　gelidaque　sub　Arcto；
　　　　　　　　　　Errantesque　domos。〃

　　　　　＇〃Even　when　there's　peace；　there　is　here　still　the　dear　of　war　when
　　　　　Fortune　troubles　peace；　this　is　ever　the　way　by　which　war　passes。〃
　　　　　Ovid；　Trist。；　iii。　10；　67。＇

　　　　　＇〃We　might　have　lived　happier　in　the　remote　East　or　in　the　icy
　　　　　North；　or　among　the　wandering　tribes。〃Lucan；　i。　255。＇

I　sometimes　extract　the　means　to　fortify　myself　against　these
considerations　from　indifference　and　indolence；　which；　in　some　sort；
bring　us　on　to　resolution。　　It　often　befalls　me　to　imagine　and　expect
mortal　dangers　with　a　kind　of　delight：　I　stupidly　plunge　myself　headlong
into　death；　without　considering　or　taking　a　view　of　it；　as　into　a　deep
and　obscure　abyss　which　swallows　me　up　at　one　leap；　and　involves　me　in　an
instant　in　a　profound　sleep；　without　any　sense　of　pain。　　And　in　these
short　and　violent　deaths；　the　consequence　that　I　foresee　administers　more
consolation　to　me　than　the　effect　does　fear。　　They　say；　that　as　life　is
not　better　for　being　long；　so　death　is　better　for　being　not　long。　　I　do
not　so　much　evade　being　dead；　as　I　enter　into　confidence　with　dying。　　I
wrap　and　shroud　myself　into　the　storm　that　is　to　blind　and　carry　me　away
with　the　fury　of　a　sudden　and　insensible　attack。　　Moreover；　if　it　should
fall　out　that；　as　some　gardeners　say；　roses　and　violets　spring　more
odoriferous　near　garlic　and　onions；　by　reason　that　the　last　suck　and
imbibe　all　the　ill　odour　of　the　earth；　so；　if　these　depraved　natures
should　also　attract　all　the　malignity　of　my　air　and　climate；　and　render
it　so　much　better　and　purer　by　their　vicinity；　I　should　not　lose　all。
That　cannot　be：　but　there　may　be　something　in　this；　that　goodness　is　more
beautiful　and　attractive　when　it　is　rare；　and　that　contrariety　and
diversity　fortify　and　consolidate　well…doing　within　itself；　and　inflame
it　by　the　jealousy　of　opposition　and　by　glory。　　Thieves　and　robbers；　of
their　special　favour；　have　no　particular　spite　at　me；　no　more　have　I　to
them：　I　should　have　my　hands　too　full。　　Like　consciences　are　lodged　under
several　sorts　of　robes；　like　cruelty；　disloyalty；　rapine；　and　so　much　the
worse；　and　more　falsely；　when　the　more　secure　and　concealed　under　colour
of　the　laws。　　I　less　hate　an　open　professed　injury　than　one　that　is
treacherous；　an　enemy　in　arms；　than　an　enemy　in　a　gown。　　Our　fever　has
seized　upon　a　body　that　is　not　much　the　worse　for　it；　there　was　fire
before；　and　now　'tis　broken　out　into　a　flame；　the　noise　is　greater；　not
the　evil。　　I　ordinarily　answer　such　as　ask　me　the　reason　of　my　travels；
〃That　I　know　very　well　what　I　fly　from；　but　not　what　I　seek。〃　　If　they
tell　me　that　there　may　be　as　little　soundness　amongst　foreigners；　and
that　their　manners　are　no　better　than　ours：　I　first　reply；　that　it　is
hard　to　be　believed；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Tam　multa：　scelerum　facies！〃

　　　　　＇〃There　are　so　many　forms　of　crime。〃Virgil；　Georg。；　i。　506。＇

secondly；　that　it　is　always　gain　to　change　an　ill　condition　for　one　that
is　uncertain；　and　that　the　ills　of　others　ought　not　to　afflict　us　so　much
as　our　own。

I　will　n