desperate remedies-第19部分

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of　the　blazing　picture　that　arrested　our　eyes　before　bedtime。

Emotions　would　be　half　starved　if　there　were　no　candle…light。
Probably　nine…tenths　of　the　gushing　letters　of　indiscreet　confession
are　written　after　nine　or　ten　o'clock　in　the　evening；　and　sent　off
before　day　returns　to　leer　invidiously　upon　them。　　Few　that　remain
open　to　catch　our　glance　as　we　rise　in　the　morning；　survive　the
frigid　criticism　of　dressing…time。

The　subjects　uppermost　in　the　minds　of　the　two　women　who　had　thus
cooled　from　their　fires；　were　not　the　visionary　ones　of　the　later
hours；　but　the　hard　facts　of　their　earlier　conversation。　　After　a
remark　that　Cytherea　need　not　assist　her　in　dressing　unless　she
wished　to；　Miss　Aldclyffe　said　abruptly

'I　can　tell　that　young　man's　name。'　　She　looked　keenly　at　Cytherea。
'It　is　Edward　Springrove；　my　tenant's　son。'

The　inundation　of　colour　upon　the　younger　lady　at　hearing　a　name
which　to　her　was　a　world；　handled　as　if　it　were　only　an　atom；　told
Miss　Aldclyffe　that　she　had　divined　the　truth　at　last。

'Ahit　is　he；　is　it？'　she　continued。　　'Well；　I　wanted　to　know　for
practical　reasons。　　His　example　shows　that　I　was　not　so　far　wrong　in
my　estimate　of　men　after　all；　though　I　only　generalized；　and　had　no
thought　of　him。'　　This　was　perfectly　true。

'What　do　you　mean？'　said　Cytherea；　visibly　alarmed。

'Mean？　　Why　that　all　the　world　knows　him　to　be　engaged　to　be
married；　and　that　the　wedding　is　soon　to　take　place。'　　She　made　the
remark　bluntly　and　superciliously；　as　if　to　obtain　absolution　at　the
hands　of　her　family　pride　for　the　weak　confidences　of　the　night。

But　even　the　frigidity　of　Miss　Aldclyffe's　morning　mood　was　overcome
by　the　look　of　sick　and　blank　despair　which　the　carelessly　uttered
words　had　produced　upon　Cytherea's　face。　　She　sank　back　into　a
chair；　and　buried　her　face　in　her　hands。

'Don't　be　so　foolish；'　said　Miss　Aldclyffe。　　'Come；　make　the　best　of
it。　　I　cannot　upset　the　fact　I　have　told　you　of；　unfortunately。　　But
I　believe　the　match　can　be　broken　off。'

'O　no；　no。'

'Nonsense。　　I　liked　him　much　as　a　youth；　and　I　like　him　now。　　I'll
help　you　to　captivate　and　chain　him　down。　　I　have　got　over　my　absurd
feeling　of　last　night　in　not　wanting　you　ever　to　go　away　from　meof
course；　I　could　not　expect　such　a　thing　as　that。　　There；　now　I　have
said　I'll　help　you；　and　that's　enough。　　He's　tired　of　his　first
choice　now　that　he's　been　away　from　home　for　a　while。　　The　love　that
no　outer　attack　can　frighten　away　quails　before　its　idol's　own
homely　ways；　it　is　always　so。　。　。　。　　Come；　finish　what　you　are　doing
if　you　are　going　to；　and　don't　be　a　little　goose　about　such　a
trumpery　affair　as　that。'

'Whois　he　engaged　to？'　Cytherea　inquired　by　a　movement　of　her　lips
but　no　sound　of　her　voice。　　But　Miss　Aldclyffe　did　not　answer。　　It
mattered　not；　Cytherea　thought。　　Another　womanthat　was　enough　for
her：　　curiosity　was　stunned。

She　applied　herself　to　the　work　of　dressing；　scarcely　knowing　how。
Miss　Aldclyffe　went　on：

'You　were　too　easily　won。　　I'd　have　made　him　or　anybody　else　speak
out　before　he　should　have　kissed　my　face　for　his　pleasure。　　But　you
are　one　of　those　precipitantly　fond　things　who　are　yearning　to　throw
away　their　hearts　upon　the　first　worthless　fellow　who　says　good…
morning。　　In　the　first　place；　you　shouldn't　have　loved　him　so
quickly：　　in　the　next；　if　you　must　have　loved　him　off…hand；　you
should　have　concealed　it。　　It　tickled　his　vanity：　　〃By　Jove；　that
girl's　in　love　with　me　already！〃　he　thought。'

To　hasten　away　at　the　end　of　the　toilet；　to　tell　Mrs。　Morriswho
stood　waiting　in　a　little　room　prepared　for　her；　with　tea　poured
out；　bread…and…butter　cut　into　diaphanous　slices；　and　eggs　arranged…
…that　she　wanted　no　breakfast：　　then　to　shut　herself　alone　in　her
bedroom；　was　her　only　thought。　　She　was　followed　thither　by　the
well…intentioned　matron　with　a　cup　of　tea　and　one　piece　of　bread…
and…butter　on　a　tray；　cheerfully　insisting　that　she　should　eat　it。

To　those　who　grieve；　innocent　cheerfulness　seems　heartless　levity。
'No；　thank　you；　Mrs。　Morris；'　she　said；　keeping　the　door　closed。
Despite　the　incivility　of　the　action；　Cytherea　could　not　bear　to　let
a　pleasant　person　see　her　face　then。

Immediate　revocationeven　if　revocation　would　be　more　effective　by
postponementis　the　impulse　of　young　wounded　natures。　　Cytherea
went　to　her　blotting…book；　took　out　the　long　letter　so　carefully
written；　so　full　of　gushing　remarks　and　tender　hints；　and　sealed　up
so　neatly　with　a　little　seal　bearing　'Good　Faith'　as　its　motto；　tore
the　missive　into　fifty　pieces；　and　threw　them　into　the　grate。　　It
was　then　the　bitterest　of　anguishes　to　look　upon　some　of　the　words
she　had　so　lovingly　written；　and　see　them　existing　only　in　mutilated
forms　without　meaningto　feel　that　his　eye　would　never　read　them；
nobody　ever　know　how　ardently　she　had　penned　them。

Pity　for　one's　self　for　being　wasted　is　mostly　present　in　these
moods　of　abnegation。

The　meaning　of　all　his　allusions；　his　abruptness　in　telling　her　of
his　love；　his　constraint　at　first；　then　his　desperate　manner　of
speaking；　was　clear。　　They　must　have　been　the　last　flickerings　of　a
conscience　not　quite　dead　to　all　sense　of　perfidiousness　and
fickleness。　　Now　he　had　gone　to　London：　　she　would　be　dismissed　from
his　memory；　in　the　same　way　as　Miss　Aldclyffe　had　said。　　And　here
she　was　in　Edward's　own　parish；　reminded　continually　of　him　by　what
she　saw　and　heard。　　The　landscape；　yesterday　so　much　and　so　bright
to　her；　was　now　but　as　the　banquet…hall　desertedall　gone　but
herself。

Miss　Aldclyffe　had　wormed　her　secret　out　of　her；　and　would　now　be
continually　mocking　her　for　her　trusting　simplicity　in　believing
him。　　It　was　altogether　unbearable：　　she　would　not　stay　there。

She　went　downstairs　and　found　Miss　Aldclyffe　had　gone　into　the
breakfast…room；　but　that　Captain　Aldclyffe；　who　rose　later　with
increasing　infirmities；　had　not　yet　made　his　appearance。　　Cytherea
entered。　　Miss　Aldclyffe　was　looking　out　of　the　window；　watching　a
trail　of　white　smoke　along　the　distant　landscapesignifying　a
passing　train。　　At　Cytherea's　entry　she　turned　and　looked　inquiry。

'I　must　tell　you　now；'　began　Cytherea；　in　a　tremulous　voice。

'Well；　what？'　Miss　Aldclyffe　said。

'I　am　not　going　to　stay　with　you。　　I　must　go　awaya　very　long　way。
I　am　very　sorry；　but　indeed　I　can't　remain！'

'Poohwhat　shall　we　hear　next？'　　Miss　Aldclyffe　surveyed　Cytherea's
face　with　leisurely　criticism。　　'You　are　breaking　your　heart　again
about　that　worthless　young　Springrove。　　I　knew　how　it　would　be。　　It
is　as　Hallam　says　of　Julietwhat　little　reason　you　may　have
possessed　originally　has　all　been　whirled　away　by　this　love。　　I
shan't　take　this　notice；　mind。'

'Do　let　me　go！'

Miss　Aldclyffe　took　her　new　pet's　hand；　and　said　with　severity；　'As
to　hindering　you；　if　you　are　determined　to　go；　of　course　that's
absurd。　　But　you　are　not　now　in　a　state　of　mind　fit　for　deciding
upon　any　such　proceeding；　and　I　shall　not　listen　to　what　you　have　to
say。　　Now；　Cythie；　come　with　me；　we'll　let　this　volcano　burst　and
spend　itself；　and　after　that　we'll　see　what　had　better　be　done。'
She　took　Cytherea　into　her　workroom；　opened　a　drawer；　and　drew　forth
a　roll　of　linen。

'This　is　some　embroidery　I　began　one　day；　and　now　I　should　like　it
finished。'

She　then　preceded　the　maiden　upstairs　to　Cytherea's　own　room。
'There；'　she　said；　'now　sit　down　here；　go　on　with　this　work；　and
remember　one　thingthat　you　are　not　to　leave　the　room　on　any
pretext　whatever　for　two　hours　unless　I　send　for　youI　insist
kindly；　dear。　　Whilst　you　stitchyou　are　to　stitch；　recollect；　and
not　go　mooning　out　of　the　windowthink　over　the　whole　matter；　and
get　cooled；　don't　let　the　foolish　love…affair　prevent　your　thinking
as　a　woman　of　the　world。　　If　at　the　end　of　that　time　you　still　say
you　must　leave　me；　you　may。　　I　will　have　no　more　to　say　in　the
matter。　　Come；　sit　down；　and　promise　to　sit　here　the　time　I　name。'

To　hearts　in　a　despairing　mood；　compulsion　seems　a　relief；　and
docility　was　at　all　times　natural　to　Cytherea。　　She　promised；　and
sat　down。　　Miss　Aldclyffe　shut　the　door　upon　her　and　retreated。

She　sewed；　stopped　to　think；　shed　a　tear　or　two；　recollected　the
articles　of　the　treaty；　and　sewed　again；　and　at　length　fell　into　a
reverie　which　took　no　account　whatever　of　the　lapse　of　time。

4。　　TEN　TO　TWELVE　O'CLOCK　A。M。

A　quarter　of　an　hour　might　have　passed　when　her　thoughts　became
attracted　from　the　past　to　the　present　by　unwonted　movements
downstairs。　　She　opened　the　door　and　listened。

There　were　hurryings　along　passages；　opening　and　shutting　of　doors；
trampling　in　the　stable…yard。　　She　went　across　into　another　bedroom；
from　which　a　view　of　the　stable…yard　could　be　obtained；　and　arrived
there　just　in　time　to　see　the　figure　of　the　man　who　had　driven　her
from　the　station　vanishing　down　the　coach…road　on　a　black　horse
galloping　at　the　top　of　the　animal's　speed。

Another　man　went　off　in　the　direction　of　the　village。

Whatever　had　occurred；　it　did　not　seem　to　be　her　duty　to　inquire　or
meddle　with　it；　stranger　and　dependent　as　she　was；　unless　she　were
requested　to；　especially　after　Miss　Aldclyffe's　strict　charge　to
her。　　She　sat　down　again；　determined　to　let　no　idle　curiosity
influence　her　movements。

Her　window　commanded　the　front　of　the　house；　and　the　next　thing　she
saw　was　a　clergyman　walk　up　and　enter　the　door。

All　was　silent　again　till；　a　long　time　after　the　first　man　had　left；
he　returned　again　on　the　same　horse；　now　matted　with　sweat　and
trotting　behind　a　carriage　in　which　sat　an　elderly　gentleman　driven
by　a　lad　in　livery。　　These　came　to　the　house；　entered；　and　all　was
again　the　same　as　before。

The　whole　householdmaster；　mistress；　and　servantsappeared　to
have　forgotten　the　very　existence　of　such　a　being　as　Cytherea。　　She
almost　wished　she　had　not　vowed　to　have　no　idle　curiosity。

Half…an…hour　later；　the　carriage　drove　off　with　the　elderly
gentleman；　and　two　or　three　messengers　left　the　house；　speeding　in
various　directions。　　Rustics　in　smock…frocks　began　to　hang　about　the
road　opposite　the　house；　or　lean　against　trees；　looking　idly　at　the
windows　and　chimneys。

A　tap　came　to　Cytherea's　doo