desperate remedies-第43部分

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although　the　man　to　whom　she　applied　them　sat　at　her　rival's　side？

Perhaps　the　moral　compensation　for　all　a　woman's　petty　cleverness
under　thriving　conditions　is　the　real　nobility　that　lies　in　her
extreme　foolishness　at　these　other　times；　her　sheer　inability　to　be
simply　just；　her　exercise　of　an　illogical　power　entirely　denied　to
men　in　generalthe　power　not　only　of　kissing；　but　of　delighting　to
kiss　the　rod　by　a　punctilious　observance　of　the　self…immolating
doctrines　in　the　Sermon　on　the　Mount。

As　for　Edwarda　little　like　other　men　of　his　temperament；　to　whom；
it　is　somewhat　humiliating　to　think；　the　aberrancy　of　a　given　love
is　in　itself　a　recommendationhis　sentiment；　as　he　looked　over　his
cousin's　book；　was　of　a　lower　rank；　Horatian　rather　than　Psalmodic

　　　　　'O；　what　hast　thou　of　her；　of　her
　　　　　　Whose　every　look　did　love　inspire；
　　　　　　Whose　every　breathing　fanned　my　fire；
　　　　　　And　stole　me　from　myself　away！'

Then；　without　letting　him　see　her；　Cytherea　slipt　out　of　church
early；　and　went　home；　the　tones　of　the　organ　still　lingering　in　her
ears　as　she　tried　bravely　to　kill　a　jealous　thought　that　would
nevertheless　live：　　'My　nature　is　one　capable　of　more；　far　more；
intense　feeling　than　hers！　　She　can't　appreciate　all　the　sides　of
himshe　never　will！　　He　is　more　tangible　to　me　even　now；　as　a
thought；　than　his　presence　itself　is　to　her！'　　She　was　less　noble
then。

But　she　continually　repressed　her　misery　and　bitterness　of　heart
till　the　effort　to　do　so　showed　signs　of　lessening。　　At　length　she
even　tried　to　hope　that　her　lost　lover　and　her　rival　would　love　one
another　very　dearly。

The　scene　and　the　sentiment　dropped　into　the　past。　　Meanwhile；
Manston　continued　visibly　before　her。　　He；　though　quiet　and　subdued
in　his　bearing　for　a　long　time　after　the　calamity　of　November；　had
not　simulated　a　grief　that　he　did　not　feel。　　At　first　his　loss
seemed　so　to　absorb　himthough　as　a　startling　change　rather　than　as
a　heavy　sorrowthat　he　paid　Cytherea　no　attention　whatever。　　His
conduct　was　uniformly　kind　and　respectful；　but　little　more。　　Then；
as　the　date　of　the　catastrophe　grew　remoter；　he　began　to　wear　a
different　aspect　towards　her。　　He　always　contrived　to　obliterate　by
his　manner　all　recollection　on　her　side　that　she　was　comparatively
more　dependent　than　himselfmaking　much　of　her　womanhood；　nothing
of　her　situation。　　Prompt　to　aid　her　whenever　occasion　offered；　and
full　of　delightful　petits　soins　at　all　times；　he　was　not　officious。
In　this　way　he　irresistibly　won　for　himself　a　position　as　her
friend；　and　the　more　easily　in　that　he　allowed　not　the　faintest
symptom　of　the　old　love　to　be　apparent。

Matters　stood　thus　in　the　middle　of　the　spring　when　the　next　move　on
his　behalf　was　made　by　Miss　Aldclyffe。

2。　　THE　THIRD　OF　MAY

She　led　Cytherea　to　a　summer…house　called　the　Fane；　built　in　the
private　grounds　about　the　mansion　in　the　form　of　a　Grecian　temple；
it　overlooked　the　lake；　the　island　on　it；　the　trees；　and　their
undisturbed　reflection　in　the　smooth　still　water。　　Here　the　old　and
young　maid　halted；　here　they　stood；　side　by　side；　mentally　imbibing
the　scene。

The　month　was　Maythe　time；　morning。　　Cuckoos；　thrushes；
blackbirds；　and　sparrows　gave　forth　a　perfect　confusion　of　song　and
twitter。　　The　road　was　spotted　white　with　the　fallen　leaves　of
apple…blossoms；　and　the　sparkling　grey　dew　still　lingered　on　the
grass　and　flowers。　　Two　swans　floated　into　view　in　front　of　the
women；　and　then　crossed　the　water　towards　them。

'They　seem　to　come　to　us　without　any　will　of　their　ownquite
involuntarilydon't　they？'　said　Cytherea；　looking　at　the　birds'
graceful　advance。

'Yes；　but　if　you　look　narrowly　you　can　see　their　hips　just　beneath
the　water；　working　with　the　greatest　energy。'

'I'd　rather　not　see　that；　it　spoils　the　idea　of　proud　indifference
to　direction　which　we　associate　with　a　swan。'

'It　does；　we'll　have　〃involuntarily。〃　　Ah；　now　this　reminds　me　of
something。'

'Of　what？'

'Of　a　human　being　who　involuntarily　comes　towards　yourself。'

Cytherea　looked　into　Miss　Aldclyffe's　face；　her　eyes　grew　round　as
circles；　and　lines　of　wonderment　came　visibly　upon　her　countenance。
She　had　not　once　regarded　Manston　as　a　lover　since　his　wife's　sudden
appearance　and　subsequent　death。　　The　death　of　a　wife；　and　such　a
death；　was　an　overwhelming　matter　in　her　ideas　of　things。

'Is　it　a　man　or　woman？'　she　said；　quite　innocently。

'Mr。　Manston；'　said　Miss　Aldclyffe　quietly。

'Mr。　Manston　attracted　by　me　NOW？'　said　Cytherea；　standing　at　gaze。

'Didn't　you　know　it？'

'Certainly　I　did　not。　　Why；　his　poor　wife　has　only　been　dead　six
months。'

'Of　course　he　knows　that。　　But　loving　is　not　done　by　months；　or
method；　or　rule；　or　nobody　would　ever　have　invented　such　a　phrase　as
〃falling　in　love。〃　　He　does　not　want　his　love　to　be　observed　just
yet；　on　the　very　account　you　mention；　but　conceal　it　as　he　may　from
himself　and　us；　it　exists　definitelyand　very　intensely；　I　assure
you。'

'I　suppose　then；　that　if　he　can't　help　it；　it　is　no　harm　of　him；'
said　Cytherea　naively；　and　beginning　to　ponder。

'Of　course　it　isn'tyou　know　that　well　enough。　　She　was　a　great
burden　and　trouble　to　him。　　This　may　become　a　great　good　to　you
both。'

A　rush　of　feeling　at　remembering　that　the　same　woman；　before
Manston's　arrival；　had　just　as　frankly　advocated　Edward's　claims；
checked　Cytherea's　utterance　for　awhile。

'There；　don't　look　at　me　like　that；　for　Heaven's　sake！'　said　Miss
Aldclyffe。　　'You　could　almost　kill　a　person　by　the　force　of　reproach
you　can　put　into　those　eyes　of　yours；　I　verily　believe。'

Edward　once　in　the　young　lady's　thoughts；　there　was　no　getting　rid
of　him。　　She　wanted　to　be　alone。

'Do　you　want　me　here？'　she　said。

'Now　there；　there；　you　want　to　be　off；　and　have　a　good　cry；'　said
Miss　Aldclyffe；　taking　her　hand。　　'But　you　mustn't；　my　dear。
There's　nothing　in　the　past　for　you　to　regret。　　Compare　Mr。
Manston's　honourable　conduct　towards　his　wife　and　yourself；　with
Springrove　towards　his　betrothed　and　yourself；　and　then　see　which
appears　the　more　worthy　of　your　thoughts。'

3。　　FROM　THE　FOURTH　OF　MAY　TO　THE　TWENTY…FIRST　OF　JUNE

The　next　stage　in　Manston's　advances　towards　her　hand　was　a　clearly
defined　courtship。　　She　was　sadly　perplexed；　and　some　contrivance
was　necessary　on　his　part　in　order　to　meet　with　her。　　But　it　is　next
to　impossible　for　an　appreciative　woman　to　have　a　positive
repugnance　towards　an　unusually　handsome　and　gifted　man；　even　though
she　may　not　be　inclined　to　love　him。　　Hence　Cytherea　was　not　so
alarmed　at　the　sight　of　him　as　to　render　a　meeting　and　conversation
with　her　more　than　a　matter　of　difficulty。

Coming　and　going　from　church　was　his　grand　opportunity。　　Manston　was
very　religious　now。　　It　is　commonly　said　that　no　man　was　ever
converted　by　argument；　but　there　is　a　single　one　which　will　make　any
Laodicean　in　England；　let　him　be　once　love…sick；　wear　prayer…books
and　become　a　zealous　Episcopalianthe　argument　that　his　sweetheart
can　be　seen　from　his　pew。

Manston　introduced　into　his　method　a　system　of　bewitching　flattery；
everywhere　pervasive；　yet；　too；　so　transitory　and　intangible；　that；
as　in　the　case　of　the　poet　Wordsworth　and　the　Wandering　Voice；
though　she　felt　it　present；　she　could　never　find　it。　　As　a　foil　to
heighten　its　effect；　he　occasionally　spoke　philosophically　of　the
evanescence　of　female　beautythe　worthlessness　of　mere　appearance。
'Handsome　is　that　handsome　does'　he　considered　a　proverb　which
should　be　written　on　the　looking…glass　of　every　woman　in　the　land。
'Your　form；　your　motions；　your　heart　have　won　me；'　he　said；　in　a
tone　of　playful　sadness。　　'They　are　beautiful。　　But　I　see　these
things；　and　it　comes　into　my　mind　that　they　are　doomed；　they　are
gliding　to　nothing　as　I　look。　　Poor　eyes；　poor　mouth；　poor　face；
poor　maiden！　　〃Where　will　her　glories　be　in　twenty　years？〃　I　say。
〃Where　will　all　of　her　be　in　a　hundred？〃　　Then　I　think　it　is　cruel
that　you　should　bloom　a　day；　and　fade　for　ever　and　ever。　　It　seems
hard　and　sad　that　you　will　die　as　ordinarily　as　I；　and　be　buried；　be
food　for　roots　and　worms；　be　forgotten　and　come　to　earth；　and　grow
up　a　mere　blade　of　churchyard…grass　and　an　ivy　leaf。　　Then；　Miss
Graye；　when　I　see　you　are　a　Lovely　Nothing；　I　pity　you；　and　the　love
I　feel　then　is　better　and　sounder；　larger　and　more　lasting　than　that
I　felt　at　the　beginning。'　　Again　an　ardent　flash　of　his　handsome
eyes。

It　was　by　this　route　that　he　ventured　on　an　indirect　declaration　and
offer　of　his　hand。

She　implied　in　the　same　indirect　manner　that　she　did　not　love　him
enough　to　accept　it。

An　actual　refusal　was　more　than　he　had　expected。　　Cursing　himself
for　what　he　called　his　egregious　folly　in　making　himself　the　slave
of　a　mere　lady's　attendant；　and　for　having　given　the　parish；　should
they　know　of　her　refusal；　a　chance　of　sneering　at　himcertainly　a
ground　for　thinking　less　of　his　standing　than　beforehe　went　home
to　the　Old　House；　and　walked　indecisively　up　and　down　his　back…yard。
Turning　aside；　he　leant　his　arms　upon　the　edge　of　the　rain…water…
butt　standing　in　the　corner；　and　looked　into　it。　　The　reflection
from　the　smooth　stagnant　surface　tinged　his　face　with　the　greenish
shades　of　Correggio's　nudes。　　Staves　of　sunlight　slanted　down
through　the　still　pool；　lighting　it　up　with　wonderful　distinctness。
Hundreds　of　thousands　of　minute　living　creatures　sported　and　tumbled
in　its　depth　with　every　contortion　that　gaiety　could　suggest；
perfectly　happy；　though　consisting　only　of　a　head；　or　a　tail；　or　at
most　a　head　and　a　tail；　and　all　doomed　to　die　within　the　twenty…four
hours。

'Damn　my　position！　　Why　shouldn't　I　be　happy　through　my　little　day
too？　　Let　the　parish　sneer　at　my　repulses；　let　it。　　I'll　get　her；　if
I　move　heaven　and　earth　to　do　it！'

Indeed；　the　inexperienced　Cytherea　had；　towards　Edward　in　the　first
place；　and　Manston　afterwards；　unconsciously　adopted　bearings　that
would　have　been　the　very　tactics　of　a　professional　fisher　of　men　who
wished　to　have　them　each　successively　dangling　at　her　heels。　　For　if
any　rule　at　all　can　be　laid　down　in　a　matter　which；　for　men
collectively；　is　notoriously　beyond　regulation；　it　is　that　to　snub　a
petted　m