desperate remedies-第50部分

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cross　to　Havre；　and　thence　to　Parisa　place　Cytherea　had　never
visitedfor　their　wedding　tour。

The　afternoon　drew　on。　　The　packing　was　done。　　Cytherea　was　so
restless　that　she　could　stay　still　nowhere。　　Miss　Aldclyffe；　who；
though　she　took　little　part　in　the　day's　proceedings；　was；　as　it
were；　instinctively　conscious　of　all　their　movements；　put　down　her
charge's　agitation　for　once　as　the　natural　result　of　the　novel
event；　and　Manston　himself　was　as　indulgent　as　could　be　wished。

At　length　Cytherea　wandered　alone　into　the　conservatory。　　When　in
it；　she　thought　she　would　run　across　to　the　hot…house　in　the　outer
garden；　having　in　her　heart　a　whimsical　desire　that　she　should　also
like　to　take　a　last　look　at　the　familiar　flowers　and　luxuriant
leaves　collected　there。　　She　pulled　on　a　pair　of　overshoes；　and
thither　she　went。　　Not　a　soul　was　in　or　around　the　place。　　The
gardener　was　making　merry　on　Manston's　and　her　account。

The　happiness　that　a　generous　spirit　derives　from　the　belief　that　it
exists　in　others　is　often　greater　than　the　primary　happiness　itself。
The　gardener　thought　'How　happy　they　are！'　and　the　thought　made　him
happier　than　they。

Coming　out　of　the　forcing…house　again；　she　was　on　the　point　of
returning　indoors；　when　a　feeling　that　these　moments　of　solitude
would　be　her　last　of　freedom　induced　her　to　prolong　them　a　little；
and　she　stood　still；　unheeding　the　wintry　aspect　of　the　curly…leaved
plants；　the　straw…covered　beds；　and　the　bare　fruit…trees　around　her。
The　garden；　no　part　of　which　was　visible　from　the　house；　sloped　down
to　a　narrow　river　at　the　foot；　dividing　it　from　the　meadows　without。

A　man　was　lingering　along　the　public　path　on　the　other　side　of　the
river；　she　fancied　she　knew　the　form。　　Her　resolutions；　taken　in　the
presence　of　Owen；　did　not　fail　her　now。　　She　hoped　and　prayed　that
it　might　not　be　one　who　had　stolen　her　heart　away；　and　still　kept
it。　　Why　should　he　have　reappeared　at　all；　when　he　had　declared　that
he　went　out　of　her　sight　for　ever？

She　hastily　hid　herself；　in　the　lowest　corner　of　the　garden　close　to
the　river。　　A　large　dead　tree；　thickly　robed　in　ivy；　had　been
considerably　depressed　by　its　icy　load　of　the　morning；　and　hung　low
over　the　stream；　which　here　ran　slow　and　deep。　　The　tree　screened
her　from　the　eyes　of　any　passer　on　the　other　side。

She　waited　timidly；　and　her　timidity　increased。　　She　would　not　allow
herself　to　see　himshe　would　hear　him　pass；　and　then　look　to　see　if
it　had　been　Edward。

But；　before　she　heard　anything；　she　became　aware　of　an　object
reflected　in　the　water　from　under　the　tree　which　hung　over　the　river
in　such　a　way　that；　though　hiding　the　actual　path；　and　objects　upon
it；　it　permitted　their　reflected　images　to　pass　beneath　its　boughs。
The　reflected　form　was　that　of　the　man　she　had　seen　further　off；　but
being　inverted；　she　could　not　definitely　characterize　him。

He　was　looking　at　the　upper　windows　of　the　Houseat　herswas　it
Edward；　indeed？　　If　so；　he　was　probably　thinking　he　would　like　to
say　one　parting　word。　　He　came　closer；　gazed　into　the　stream；　and
walked　very　slowly。　　She　was　almost　certain　that　it　was　Edward。　　She
kept　more　safely　hidden。　　Conscience　told　her　that　she　ought　not　to
see　him。　　But　she　suddenly　asked　herself　a　question：　　'Can　it　be
possible　that　he　sees　my　reflected　image；　as　I　see　his？　　Of　course
he　does！'

He　was　looking　at　her　in　the　water。

She　could　not　help　herself　now。　　She　stepped　forward　just　as　he
emerged　from　the　other　side　of　the　tree　and　appeared　erect　before
her。　　It　was　Edward　Springrovetill　the　inverted　vision　met　his
eye；　dreaming　no　more　of　seeing　his　Cytherea　there　than　of　seeing
the　dead　themselves。

'Cytherea！'

'Mr。　Springrove；'　she　returned；　in　a　low　voice；　across　the　stream。

He　was　the　first　to　speak　again。

'Since　we　have　met；　I　want　to　tell　you　something；　before　we　become
quite　as　strangers　to　each　other。'

'Nonot　nowI　did　not　mean　to　speakit　is　not　right；　Edward。'
She　spoke　hurriedly　and　turned　away　from　him；　beating　the　air　with
her　hand。

'Not　one　common　word　of　explanation？'　he　implored。　　'Don't　think　I
am　bad　enough　to　try　to　lead　you　astray。　　Well；　goit　is　better。'

Their　eyes　met　again。　　She　was　nearly　choked。　　O；　how　she　longed
and　dreadedto　hear　his　explanation！

'What　is　it？'　she　said　desperately。

'It　is　that　I　did　not　come　to　the　church　this　morning　in　order　to
distress　you：　　I　did　not；　Cytherea。　　It　was　to　try　to　speak　to　you
before　you　weremarried。'

He　stepped　closer；　and　went　on；　'You　know　what　has　taken　place？
Surely　you　do？my　cousin　is　married；　and　I　am　free。'

'Marriedand　not　to　you？'　Cytherea　faltered；　in　a　weak　whisper。

'Yes；　she　was　married　yesterday！　　A　rich　man　had　appeared；　and　she
jilted　me。　　She　said　she　never　would　have　jilted　a　stranger；　but
that　by　jilting　me；　she　only　exercised　the　right　everybody　has　of
snubbing　their　own　relations。　　But　that's　nothing　now。　　I　came　to
you　to　ask　once　more　if。　。　。　。　　But　I　was　too　late。'

'But；　Edward；　what's　that；　what's　that！'　she　cried；　in　an　agony　of
reproach。　　'Why　did　you　leave　me　to　return　to　her？　　Why　did　you
write　me　that　cruel；　cruel　letter　that　nearly　killed　me！'

'Cytherea！　　Why；　you　had　grown　to　lovelikeMr。　Manston；　and　how
could　you　be　anything　to　meor　care　for　me？　　Surely　I　acted
naturally？'

'O　nonever！　　I　loved　youonly　younot　himalways　you！till
lately。　。　。　。　　I　try　to　love　him　now。'

'But　that　can't　be　correct！　　Miss　Aldclyffe　told　me　that　you　wanted
to　hear　no　more　of　meproved　it　to　me！'　said　Edward。

'Never！　she　couldn't。'

'She　did；　Cytherea。　　And　she　sent　me　a　lettera　love…letter；　you
wrote　to　Mr。　Manston。'

'A　love…letter　I　wrote？'

'Yes；　a　love…letteryou　could　not　meet　him　just　then；　you　said　you
were　sorry；　but　the　emotion　you　had　felt　with　him　made　you　forgetful
of　realities。'

The　strife　of　thought　in　the　unhappy　girl　who　listened　to　this
distortion　of　her　meaning　could　find　no　vent　in　words。　　And　then
there　followed　the　slow　revelation　in　return；　bringing　with　it　all
the　misery　of　an　explanation　which　comes　too　late。　　The　question
whether　Miss　Aldclyffe　were　schemer　or　dupe　was　almost　passed　over
by　Cytherea；　under　the　immediate　oppressiveness　of　her　despair　in
the　sense　that　her　position　was　irretrievable。

Not　so　Springrove。　　He　saw　through　all　the　cunning　half…
misrepresentationsworse　than　downright　lieswhich　had　just　been
sufficient　to　turn　the　scale　both　with　him　and　with　her；　and　from
the　bottom　of　his　soul　he　cursed　the　woman　and　man　who　had　brought
all　this　agony　upon　him　and　his　Love。　　But　he　could　not　add　more
misery　to　the　future　of　the　poor　child　by　revealing　too　much。　　The
whole　scheme　she　should　never　know。

'I　was　indifferent　to　my　own　future；'　Edward　said；　'and　was　urged　to
promise　adherence　to　my　engagement　with　my　cousin　Adelaide　by　Miss
Aldclyffe：　　now　you　are　married　I　cannot　tell　you　how；　but　it　was　on
account　of　my　father。　　Being　forbidden　to　think　of　you；　what　did　I
care　about　anything？　　My　new　thought　that　you　still　loved　me　was
first　raised　by　what　my　father　said　in　the　letter　announcing　my
cousin's　marriage。　　He　said　that　although　you　were　to　be　married　on
Old　Christmas　Daythat　is　to…morrowhe　had　noticed　your　appearance
with　pity：　　he　thought　you　loved　me　still。　　It　was　enough　for　meI
came　down　by　the　earliest　morning　train；　thinking　I　could　see　you
some　time　to…day；　the　day；　as　I　thought；　before　your　marriage；
hoping；　but　hardly　daring　to　hope；　that　you　might　be　induced　to
marry　me。　　I　hurried　from　the　station；　when　I　reached　the　village　I
saw　idlers　about　the　church；　and　the　private　gate　leading　to　the
House　open。　　I　ran　into　the　church　by　the　small　door　and　saw　you
come　out　of　the　vestry；　I　was　too　late。　　I　have　now　told　you。　　I　was
compelled　to　tell　you。　　O；　my　lost　darling；　now　I　shall　live
contentor　die　content！'

'I　am　to　blame；　Edward；　I　am；'　she　said　mournfully；　'I　was　taught　to
dread　pauperism；　my　nights　were　made　sleepless；　there　was
continually　reiterated　in　my　ears　till　I　believed　it

　　　　　'〃The　world　and　its　ways　have　a　certain　worth；
　　　　　　　And　to　press　a　point　where　these　oppose
　　　　　　　Were　a　simple　policy。〃

But　I　will　say　nothing　about　who　influencedwho　persuaded。　　The　act
is　mine；　after　all。　　Edward；　I　married　to　escape　dependence　for　my
bread　upon　the　whim　of　Miss　Aldclyffe；　or　others　like　her。　　It　was
clearly　represented　to　me　that　dependence　is　bearable　if　we　have
another　place　which　we　can　call　home；　but　to　be　a　dependent　and　to
have　no　other　spot　for　the　heart　to　anchor　uponO；　it　is　mournful
and　harassing！。　。　。　　But　that　without　which　all　persuasion　would
have　been　as　air；　was　added　by　my　miserable　conviction　that　you　were
false；　that　did　it；　that　turned　me！　　You　were　to　be　considered　as
nobody　to　me；　and　Mr。　Manston　was　invariably　kind。　　Well；　the　deed
is　doneI　must　abide　by　it。　　I　shall　never　let　him　know　that　I　do
not　love　himnever。　　If　things　had　only　remained　as　they　seemed　to
be；　if　you　had　really　forgotten　me　and　married　another　woman；　I
could　have　borne　it　better。　　I　wish　I　did　not　know　the　truth　as　I
know　it　now！　　But　our　life；　what　is　it？　　Let　us　be　brave；　Edward；
and　live　out　our　few　remaining　years　with　dignity。　　They　will　not　be
long。　　O；　I　hope　they　will　not　be　long！。　。　。　　Now；　good…bye；　good…
bye！'

'I　wish　I　could　be　near　and　touch　you　once；　just　once；'　said
Springrove；　in　a　voice　which　he　vainly　endeavoured　to　keep　firm　and
clear。

They　looked　at　the　river；　then　into　it；　a　shoal　of　minnows　was
floating　over　the　sandy　bottom；　like　the　black　dashes　on　miniver；
though　narrow；　the　stream　was　deep；　and　there　was　no　bridge。

'Cytherea；　reach　out　your　hand　that　I　may　just　touch　it　with　mine。'

She　stepped　to　the　brink　and　stretched　out　her　hand　and　fingers
towards　his；　but　not　into　them。　　The　river　was　too　wide。

'Never　mind；'　said　Cytherea；　her　voice　broken　by　agitation；　'I　must
be　going。　　God　bless　and　keep　you；　my　Edward！　　God　bless　you！'

'I　must　touch　you；　I　must　press　your　hand；'　he　said。

They　came　nearnearernearer　stilltheir　fingers　met。　　There　was
a　long　firm　clasp；　so　close　and　still　that　each　hand　could　feel　the
other's　pulse　throbbing　beside　its　own。

'My　Cytherea