desperate remedies-第58部分

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unavoidably　reaching　her　ears　in　the　course　of　time。　　Thus　the
freedom　brought　no　happiness；　and　it　seemed　well…nigh　impossible
that　she　could　ever　again　show　herself　the　sparkling　creature　she
once　had　been

　　　　　'Apt　to　entice　a　deity。'

On　this　account；　and　for　the　first　time　in　his　life；　Owen　made　a
point　of　concealing　from　her　the　real　state　of　his　feelings　with
regard　to　the　unhappy　transaction。　　He　writhed　in　secret　under　the
humiliation　to　which　they　had　been　subjected；　till　the　resentment　it
gave　rise　to；　and　for　which　there　was　no　vent；　was　sometimes　beyond
endurance；　it　induced　a　mood　that　did　serious　damage　to　the　material
and　plodding　perseverance　necessary　if　he　would　secure　permanently
the　comforts　of　a　home　for　them。

They　gave　up　their　lodgings　at　Budmouth；　and　went　to　Tolchurch　as
soon　as　the　work　commenced。

Here　they　were　domiciled　in　one　half　of　an　old　farmhouse；　standing
not　far　from　the　ivy…covered　church　tower　（which　was　all　that　was　to
remain　of　the　original　structure）。　　The　long　steep　roof　of　this
picturesque　dwelling　sloped　nearly　down　to　the　ground；　the　old　tiles
that　covered　it　being　overgrown　with　rich　olive…hued　moss。　　New　red
tiles　in　twos　and　threes　had　been　used　for　patching　the　holes
wrought　by　decay；　lighting　up　the　whole　harmonious　surface　with　dots
of　brilliant　scarlet。

The　chief　internal　features　of　this　snug　abode　were　a　wide
fireplace；　enormous　cupboards；　a　brown　settle；　and　several　sketches
on　the　wood　mantel；　done　in　outline　with　the　point　of　a　hot　poker
the　subjects　mainly　consisting　of　old　men　walking　painfully　erect；
with　a　curly…tailed　dog　behind。

After　a　week　or　two　of　residence　in　Tolchurch；　and　rambles　amid　the
quaint　scenery　circumscribing　it；　a　tranquillity　began　to　spread
itself　through　the　mind　of　the　maiden；　which　Graye　hoped　would　be　a
preface　to　her　complete　restoration。　　She　felt　ready　and　willing　to
live　the　whole　remainder　of　her　days　in　the　retirement　of　their
present　quarters：　　she　began　to　sing　about　the　house　in　low
tremulous　snatches

　　　　　'〃I　said；　if　there's　peace　to　be　found　in　the　world；
　　　　　　　A　heart　that　is　humble　may　hope　for　it　here。〃'

2。　　THE　THIRD　OF　MARCH

Her　convalescence　had　arrived　at　this　point　on　a　certain　evening
towards　the　end　of　the　winter；　when　Owen　had　come　in　from　the
building　hard　by；　and　was　changing　his　muddy　boots　for　slippers；
previously　to　sitting　down　to　toast　and　tea。

A　prolonged　though　quiet　knocking　came　to　the　door。

The　only　person　who　ever　knocked　at　their　door　in　that　way　was　the
new　vicar；　the　prime　mover　in　the　church…building。　　But　he　was　that
evening　dining　with　the　Squire。

Cytherea　was　uneasy　at　the　soundshe　did　not　know　why；　unless　it
was　because　her　nerves　were　weakened　by　the　sickness　she　had
undergone。　　Instead　of　opening　the　door　she　ran　out　of　the　room；　and
upstairs。

'What　nonsense；　Cytherea！'　said　her　brother；　going　to　the　door。

Edward　Springrove　stood　in　the　grey　light　outside。

'Capitalnot　gone　to　Australia；　and　not　going；　of　course！'　cried
Owen。　　'What's　the　use　of　going　to　such　a　place　as　that？I　never
believed　that　you　would。'

'I　am　going　back　to　London　again　to…morrow；'　said　Springrove；　'and　I
called　to　say　a　word　before　going。　　Where　is　。　。　。？'

'She　has　just　run　upstairs。　　Come　innever　mind　scraping　your
shoeswe　are　regular　cottagers　now；　stone　floor；　yawning　chimney…
corner；　and　all；　you　see。'

'Mrs。　Manston　came；'　said　Edward　awkwardly；　when　he　had　sat　down　in
the　chimney…corner　by　preference。

'Yes。'　　At　mention　of　one　of　his　skeletons　Owen　lost　his　blitheness
at　once；　and　fell　into　a　reverie。

'The　history　of　her　escape　is　very　simple。'

'Very。'

'You　know　I　always　had　wondered；　when　my　father　was　telling　any　of
the　circumstances　of　the　fire　to　me；　how　it　could　be　that　a　woman
could　sleep　so　soundly　as　to　be　unaware　of　her　horrid　position　till
it　was　too　late　even　to　give　shout　or　sound　of　any　kind。'

'Well；　I　think　that　would　have　been　possible；　considering　her　long
wearisome　journey。　　People　have　often　been　suffocated　in　their　beds
before　they　awoke。　　But　it　was　hardly　likely　a　body　would　be
completely　burnt　to　ashes　as　this　was　assumed　to　be；　though　nobody
seemed　to　see　it　at　the　time。　　And　how　positive　the　surgeon　was　too；
about　those　bits　of　bone！　　Why　he　should　have　been　so；　nobody　can
tell。　　I　cannot　help　saying　that　if　it　has　ever　been　possible　to
find　pure　stupidity　incarnate；　it　was　in　that　jury　of　Carriford。
There　existed　in　the　mass　the　stupidity　of　twelve　and　not　the
penetration　of　one。'

'Is　she　quite　well？'　said　Springrove。

'Who？O；　my　sister；　Cytherea。　　Thank　you；　nearly　well；　now。　　I'll
call　her。'

'Wait　one　minute。　　I　have　a　word　to　say　to　you。'

Owen　sat　down　again。

'You　know；　without　my　saying　it；　that　I　love　Cytherea　as　dearly　as
ever。　。　。　。　　I　think　she　loves　me　too；does　she　really？'

There　was　in　Owen　enough　of　that　worldly　policy　on　the　subject　of
matchmaking　which　naturally　resides　in　the　breasts　of　parents　and
guardians；　to　give　him　a　certain　caution　in　replying；　and；　younger
as　he　was　by　five　years　than　Edward；　it　had　an　odd　effect。

'Well；　she　may　possibly　love　you　still；'　he　said；　as　if　rather　in
doubt　as　to　the　truth　of　his　words。

Springrove's　countenance　instantly　saddened；　he　had　expected　a
simple　'Yes；'　at　the　very　least。　　He　continued　in　a　tone　of　greater
depression

'Supposing　she　does　love　me；　would　it　be　fair　to　you　and　to　her　if　I
made　her　an　offer　of　marriage；　with　these　dreary　conditions
attachedthat　we　lived　for　a　few　years　on　the　narrowest　system；
till　a　great　debt；　which　all　honour　and　duty　require　me　to　pay　off；
shall　be　paid？　　My　father；　by　reason　of　the　misfortune　that　befell
him；　is　under　a　great　obligation　to　Miss　Aldclyffe。　　He　is　getting
old；　and　losing　his　energies。　　I　am　attempting　to　work　free　of　the
burden。　　This　makes　my　prospects　gloomy　enough　at　present。

'But　consider　again；'　he　went　on。　　'Cytherea　has　been　left　in　a
nameless　and　unsatisfactory；　though　innocent　state；　by　this
unfortunate；　and　now　void；　marriage　with　Manston。　　A　marriage　with
me；　though　under　themateriallyuntoward　conditions　I　have
mentioned；　would　make　us　happy；　it　would　give　her　a　locus　standi。
If　she　wished　to　be　out　of　the　sound　of　her　misfortunes　we　would　go
to　another　part　of　Englandemigratedo　anything。'

'I'll　call　Cytherea；'　said　Owen。　　'It　is　a　matter　which　she　alone
can　settle。'　　He　did　not　speak　warmly。　　His　pride　could　not　endure
the　pity　which　Edward's　visit　and　errand　tacitly　implied。　　Yet；　in
the　other　affair；　his　heart　went　with　Edward；　he　was　on　the　same
beat　for　paying　off　old　debts　himself。

'Cythie；　Mr。　Springrove　is　here；'　he　said；　at　the　foot　of　the
staircase。

His　sister　descended　the　creaking　old　steps　with　a　faltering　tread；
and　stood　in　the　firelight　from　the　hearth。　　She　extended　her　hand
to　Springrove；　welcoming　him　by　a　mere　motion　of　the　lip；　her　eyes
averteda　habit　which　had　engendered　itself　in　her　since　the
beginning　of　her　illness　and　defamation。　　Owen　opened　the　door　and
went　outleaving　the　lovers　alone。　　It　was　the　first　time　they　had
met　since　the　memorable　night　at　Southampton。

'I　will　get　a　light；'　she　said；　with　a　little　embarrassment。

'Nodon't；　please；　Cytherea；'　said　Edward　softly；　'Come　and　sit
down　with　me。'

'O　yes。　　I　ought　to　have　asked　YOU　to；'　she　returned　timidly。
'Everybody　sits　in　the　chimney…corner　in　this　parish。　　You　sit　on
that　side。　　I'll　sit　here。'

Two　recessesone　on　the　right；　one　on　the　left　handwere　cut　in
the　inside　of　the　fireplace；　and　here　they　sat　down　facing　each
other；　on　benches　fitted　to　the　recesses；　the　fire　glowing　on　the
hearth　between　their　feet。　　Its　ruddy　light　shone　on　the　underslopes
of　their　faces；　and　spread　out　over　the　floor　of　the　room　with　the
low　horizontality　of　the　setting　sun；　giving　to　every　grain　of　sand
and　tumour　in　the　paving　a　long　shadow　towards　the　door。

Edward　looked　at　his　pale　love　through　the　thin　azure　twines　of
smoke　that　went　up　like　ringlets　between　them；　and　invested　her；　as
seen　through　its　medium；　with　the　shadowy　appearance　of　a　phantom。
Nothing　is　so　potent　for　coaxing　back　the　lost　eyes　of　a　woman　as　a
discreet　silence　in　the　man　who　has　so　lost　themand　thus　the
patient　Edward　coaxed　hers。　　After　lingering　on　the　hearth　for　half
a　minute；　waiting　in　vain　for　another　word　from　him；　they　were
lifted　into　his　face。

He　was　ready　primed　to　receive　them。　　'Cytherea；　will　you　marry　me？'
he　said。

He　could　not　wait　in　his　original　position　till　the　answer　came。
Stepping　across　the　front　of　the　fire　to　her　own　side　of　the　chimney
corner；　he　reclined　at　her　feet；　and　searched　for　her　hand。　　She
continued　in　silence　awhile。

'Edward；　I　can　never　be　anybody's　wife；'　she　then　said　sadly；　and
with　firmness。

'Think　of　it　in　every　light；'　he　pleaded；　'the　light　of　love；　first。
Then；　when　you　have　done　that；　see　how　wise　a　step　it　would　be。　　I
can　only　offer　you　poverty　as　yet；　but　I　wantI　do　so　long　to
secure　you　from　the　intrusion　of　that　unpleasant　past；　which　will
often　and　always　be　thrust　before　you　as　long　as　you　live　the
shrinking　solitary　life　you　do　nowa　life　which　purity　chooses；　it
may　be；　but　to　the　outside　world　it　appears　like　the　enforced
loneliness　of　neglect　and　scornand　tongues　are　busy　inventing　a
reason　for　it　which　does　not　exist。'

'I　know　all　about　it；'　she　said　hastily；　'and　those　are　the　grounds
of　my　refusal。　　You　and　Owen　know　the　whole　truththe　two　I　love
best　on　earthand　I　am　content。　　But　the　scandal　will　be
continually　repeated；　and　I　can　never　give　any　one　the　opportunity
of　saying　to　youthatyour　wife　。　。　。　。'　　She　utterly　broke　down
and　wept。

'Don't；　my　own　darling！'　he　entreated。　　'Don't；　Cytherea！'

'Please　to　leave　mewe　will　be　friends；　Edwardbut　don't　press　me…
…my　mind　is　made　upI　cannotI　will　not　marry　you　or　any　man　under
the　present　ambiguous　circumstancesnever　will　II　have　said　it：
never！'

They　were　both　silent。　　He　listlessly　regarded　the　illuminated
blackness　overhead；　where　long　flakes　of　soot　floated　from　the　sides
and　bars　of　the　chimney…throat　like　tattered　banners　in　ancient
aisles；　whilst　through　the　square　openin