the legacy of cain-第14部分

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father。〃

〃And　of　course　he　got　the　money；　and　never　paid　the　interest？〃
Eager　to　hear　the　end；　I　interrupted　the　story　in　those
inconsiderate　words。　My　father's　answer　quietly　reproved　me。

〃He　paid　the　interest　regularly　as　long　as　he　lived。〃

〃And　what　happened　when　he　died？〃

〃He　died　a　bankrupt；　the　secret　profligacy　of　his　life　was　at
last　exposed。　Nothing；　actually　nothing；　was　left　for　his
creditors。　The　unfortunate　creature；　whose　ugly　name　has　amused
you；　must　get　help　somewhere；　or　must　go　to　the　workhouse。〃

If　I　had　been　in　a　state　of　mind　to　attend　to　trifles；　this　would
have　explained　the　reason　why　the　cook　had　heard　Miss　Jillgall
crying。　But　the　prospect　before　methe　unendurable　prospect　of
having　a　strange　woman　in　the　househad　showed　itself　too
plainly　to　be　mistaken。　I　could　think　of　nothing　else。　With
infinite　difficulty　I　assumed　a　momentary　appearance　of
composure；　and　suggested　that　Miss　Jillgall's　foreign　friends
might　have　done　something　to　help　her。

My　father　defended　her　foreign　friends。　〃My　dear；　they　were　poor
people；　and　did　all　they　could　afford　to　do。　But　for　their
kindness；　my　cousin　might　not　have　been　able　to　return　to
England。〃

〃And　to　cast　herself　on　your　mercy；〃　I　added；　〃in　the　character
of　a　helpless　woman。〃

〃No；　Helena！　Not　to　cast　herself　on　my　mercybut　to　find　my
house　open　to　her；　as　her　father's　house　was　open　to　me　in　the
bygone　time。　I　am　her　only　surviving　relative；　and；　while　I　live；
she　shall　not　be　a　helpless　woman。〃

I　began　to　wish　that　I　had　not　spoken　out　so　plainly。　My　father's
sweet　temperI　do　so　sincerely　wish　I　had　inherited　it！made
the　kindest　allowances　for　me。

〃I　understand　the　momentary　bitterness　of　feeling　that　has
escaped　you；〃　he　said；　〃I　may　almost　say　that　I　expected　it。　My
only　hesitation　in　this　matter　has　been　caused　by　my　sense　of
what　I　owe　to　my　children。　It　was　putting　your　endurance；　and
your　sister's　endurance；　to　a　trial　to　expect　you　to　receive　a
stranger　（and　that　stranger　not　a　young　girl　like　yourselves）　as
one　of　the　household；　living　with　you　in　the　closest　intimacy　of
family　life。　The　consideration　which　has　decided　me　does　justice；
I　hope；　to　you　and　Eunice；　as　well　as　to　myself。　I　think　that
some　allowance　is　due　from　my　daughters　to　the　father　who　has
always　made　loving　allowance　for　_them。_　Am　I　wrong　in　believing
that　my　good　children　have　not　forgotten　this；　and　have　only
waited　for　the　occasion　to　feel　the　pleasure　of　rewarding　me？〃

It　was　beautifully　put。　There　was　but　one　thing　to　be　doneI
kissed　him。　And　there　was　but　one　thing　to　be　said。　I　asked　at
what　time　we　might　expect　to　receive　Miss　Jillgall。

〃She　is　staying；　Helena；　at　a　small　hotel　in　the　town。　I　have
already　sent　to　say　that　we　are　waiting　to　see　her。　Perhaps　you
will　look　at　the　spare　bedroom？〃

〃It　shall　be　got　ready；　father；　directly。〃

I　ran　into　the　house；　I　rushed　upstairs　into　the　room　that　is
Eunice's　and　mine；　I　locked　the　door；　and　then　I　gave　way　to　my
rage；　before　it　stifled　me。　I　stamped　on　the　floor；　I　clinched　my
fists；　I　cast　myself　on　the　bed；　I　reviled　that　hateful　woman　by
every　hard　word　that　I　could　throw　at　her。　Oh；　the　luxury　of　it！
the　luxury　of　it！

Cold　water　and　my　hairbrush　soon　made　me　fit　to　be　seen　again。

As　for　the　spare　room；　it　looked　a　great　deal　too　comfortable　for
an　incubus　from　foreign　parts。　The　one　improvement　that　I　could
have　made；　if　a　friend　of　mine　had　been　expected；　was　suggested
by　the　window…curtains。　I　was　looking　at　a　torn　place　in　one　of
them；　and　determined　to　leave　it　unrepaired；　when　I　felt　an　arm
slipped　round　my　waist　from　behind。　A　voice；　so　close　that　it
tickled　my　neck；　said：　〃Dear　girl；　what　friends　we　shall　be！〃　I
turned　round；　and　confronted　Miss　Jillgall。


CHAPTER　XV。

HELENA'S　DIARY。


IF　I　am　not　a　good　girl；　where　is　a　good　girl　to　be　found？　This
is　in　Eunice's　style。　It　sometimes　amuses　me　to　mimic　my　simple
sister。

I　have　just　torn　three　pages　out　of　my　diary；　in　deference　to　the
expression　of　my　father's　wishes。　He　took　the　first　opportunity
which　his　cousin　permitted　him　to　enjoy　of　speaking　to　me
privately；　and　his　object　was　to　caution　me　against　hastily
relying　on　first　impressions　of　anybodyespecially　of　Miss
Jillgall。　〃Wait　for　a　day　or　two；〃　he　said；　〃and　then　form　your
estimate　of　the　new　member　of　our　household。〃

The　stormy　state　of　my　temper　had　passed　away；　and　had　left　my
atmosphere　calm　again。　I　could　feel　that　I　had　received　good
advice；　but　unluckily　it　reached　me　too　late。

I　had　formed　my　estimate　of　Miss　Jillgall；　and　had　put　it　in
writing　for　my　own　satisfaction；　at　least　an　hour　before　my
father　found　himself　at　liberty　to　speak　to　me。　I　don't　agree
with　him　in　distrusting　first　impressions；　and　I　had　proposed　to
put　my　opinion　to　the　test；　by　referring　to　what　I　had　written
about　his　cousin　at　a　later　time。　However；　after　what　he　had　said
to　me；　I　felt　bound　in　filial　duty　to　take　the　pages　out　of　my
book；　and　to　let　two　days　pass　before　I　presumed　to　enjoy　the
luxury　of　hating　Miss　Jillgall。

On　one　thing　I　am　determined：　Eunice　shall　not　form　a　hasty
opinion；　either。　She　shall　undergo　the　same　severe　discipline　of
self…restraint　to　which　her　sister　is　obliged　to　submit。　Let　us
be　just；　as　somebody　says；　before　we　are　generous。　No　more　for
to…day。

。　。　。　。　。　。　。

I　open　my　diary　againafter　the　prescribed　interval　has　elapsed。
The　first　impression　produced　on　me　by　the　new　member　of　our
household　remains　entirely　unchanged。

Have　I　already　made　the　remark　that；　when　one　removes　a　page　from
a　book；　it　does　not　necessarily　follow　that　one　destroys　the　page
afterward？　or　did　I　leave　this　to　be　inferred？　In　either　case；　my
course　of　proceeding　was　the　same。　I　ordered　some　paste　to　be
made。　Then　I　unlocked　a　drawer；　and　found　my　poor　ill…used
leaves；　and　put　them　back　in　my　Journal。　An　act　of　justice　is
surely　not　the　less　praiseworthy　because　it　is　an　act　of　justice
done　to　one's　self。

My　father　has　often　told　me　that　he　revises　his　writings　on
religious　subjects。　I　may　harmlessly　imitate　that　good　example；
by　revising　my　restored　entry。　It　is　now　a　sufficiently
remarkable　performance　to　be　distinguished　by　a　title。　Let　me
call　it：

Impressions　of　Miss　Jillgall。

My　first　impression　was　a　strong　oneit　was　produced　by　the
state　of　this　lady's　breath。　In　other　words；　I　was　obliged　to　let
her　kiss　me。　It　is　a　duty　to　be　considerate　toward　human
infirmity。　I　will　only　say　that　I　thought　I　should　have　fainted。

My　second　impression　draws　a　portrait；　and　produces　a　striking
likeness。

Figure；　little　and　leanhair　of　a　dirty　drab　color　which　we　see
in　stringsmall　light　gray　eyes；　sly　and　restless；　and　deeply
sunk　in　the　headprominent　cheekbones；　and　a　florid
complexionan　inquisitive　nose；　turning　up　at　the　enda　large
mouth　and　a　servile　smileraw…looking　hands；　decorated　with
black　mittensa　misfitting　white　jacket　and　a　limp
skirtmanners　familiartemper　cleverly　hiddenvoice　too
irritating　to　be　mentioned。　Whose　portrait　is　this？　It　is　the
portrait　of　Miss　Jillgall；　taken　in　words。

Her　true　character　is　not　easy　to　discover；　I　suspect　that　it
will　only　show　itself　little　by　little。　That　she　is　a　born
meddler　in　other　people's　affairs；　I　think　I　can　see　already。　I
also　found　out　that　she　trusted　to　flattery　as　the　easiest　means
of　making　herself　agreeable。　She　tried　her　first　experiment　on
myself。

〃You　charming　girl；〃　she　began；　〃your　bright　face　encourages　me
to　ask　a　favor。　Pray　make　me　useful！　The　one　aspiration　of　my
life　is　to　be　useful。　Unless　you　employ　me　in　that　way；　I　have　no
right　to　intrude　myself　into　your　family　circle。　Yes；　yes；　I　know
that　your　father　has　opened　his　house　and　his　heart　to　me。　But　I
dare　not　found　any　claimyour　name　is　Helena；　isn't　it？　Dear
Helena；　I　dare　not　found　any　claim　on　what　I　owe　to　your　father's
kindness。〃

〃Why　not？〃　I　inquired。

〃Because　your　father　is　not　a　man〃

I　was　rude　enough　to　interrupt　her：　〃What　is　he；　then？〃

〃An　angel；〃　Miss　Jillgall　answered；　solemnly。　〃A　destitute
earthly　creature　like　me　must　not　look　up　as　high　as　your　father。
I　might　be　dazzled。〃

This　was　rather　more　than　I　could　endure　patiently。　〃Let　us　try；〃
I　suggested；　〃if　we　can't　understand　each　other；　at　starting。〃

Miss　Jillgall's　little　eyes　twinkled　in　their　bony　caverns。　〃The
very　thing　I　was　going　to　propose！〃　she　burst　out。

〃Very　well；〃　I　went　on；　〃then；　let　me　tell　you　plainly　that
flattery　is　not　relished　in　this　house。〃

〃Flattery？〃　She　put　her　hand　to　her　head　as　she　repeated　the
word；　and　looked　quite　bewildered。　〃Dear　Helena；　I　have　lived　all
my　life　in　East　Flande　rs；　and　my　own　language　is　occasionally
strange　to　me。　Can　you　tell　me　what　flattery　is　in　Flemish？〃

〃I　don't　understand　Flemish。〃

〃How　very　provoking！　You　don't　understand　Flemish；　and　I　don't
understand　Flattery。　I　should　so　like　to　know　what　it　means。　Ah；
I　see　books　in　this　lovely　room。　Is　there　a　dictionary　among
them？〃　She　darted　to　the　bookcase；　and　discovered　a　dictionary。
〃Now　I　shall　understand　Flattery；〃　she　remarked〃and　then　we
shall　understand　each　other。　Oh；　let　me　find　it　for　myself！〃　She
ran　her　raw　red　finger　along　the　alphabetical　headings　at　the　top
of　each　page。　〃　'FAD。'　That　won't　do。　'FIE。'　Further　on　still。
'FLE。'　Too　far　the　other　way。　'FLA。'　Here　we　are！　'Flattery：
False　praise。　Commendation　bestowed　for　the　purpose　of　gaining
favor　and　influence。'　Oh；　Helena；　how　cruel　of　you！〃　She　dropped
the　book；　and　sank　into　a　chairthe　picture；　if　such　a　thing　can
be；　of　a　broken…hearted　old　maid。

I　should　most　assuredly　have　taken　the　opportunity　of　leaving　her
to　her　own　devices；　if　I　had　been　free　to　act　as　I　pleased。　But
my　interests　as　a　daughter　forbade　me　to　make　an　enemy　of　my
father's　cousin；　on　the　first　day　when　she　had　entered　the　house。
I　made　an　apology；　very　neatly　expressed。

She　jumped　uplet　me　do　her　justice；　Miss　Jillgall　is　as　nimble
as　a　monkeyand　（Faugh！）　she　kissed　me　for　the　second　time。　If　I
had　been　a　man；　I　am　afraid　I　should　have　called　for　that　deadly
poison　（we　are　all　temperance　people　in　this　house）　known　by　the
name　of　Brandy。

〃If