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case get more than 45 out of them; and in nine cases out of ten

he will get just the proper 31。



Let me try to illustrate the two systems in a simple and

homely way calculated to bring the idea within the grasp of the

ignorant and unintelligent。  We will suppose a case:  take a lap…

bred; house…fed; uneducated; inexperienced kitten; take a rugged

old Tom that's scarred from stem to rudder…post with the

memorials of strenuous experience; and is so cultured; so

educated; so limitlessly erudite that one may say of him 〃all

cat…knowledge is his province〃; also; take a mouse。  Lock the

three up in a holeless; crackless; exitless prison…cell。  Wait

half an hour; then open the cell; introduce a Shakespearite and a

Baconian; and let them cipher and assume。  The mouse is missing:

the question to be decided is; where is it?  You can guess both

verdicts beforehand。  One verdict will say the kitten contains

the mouse; the other will as certainly say the mouse is in the

tom…cat。



The Shakespearite will Reason like this(that is not my

word; it is his)。  He will say the kitten MAY HAVE BEEN attending

school when nobody was noticing; therefore WE ARE WARRANTED IN

ASSUMING that it did so; also; it COULD HAVE BEEN training in a

court…clerk's office when no one was noticing; since that could

have happened; WE ARE JUSTIFIED IN ASSUMING that it did happen;

it COULD HAVE STUDIED CATOLOGY IN A GARRET when no one was

noticingtherefore it DID; it COULD HAVE attended cat…assizes on

the shed…roof nights; for recreation; when no one was noticing;

and have harvested a knowledge of cat court…forms and cat lawyer…

talk in that way:  it COULD have done it; therefore without a

doubt it DID; it COULD HAVE gone soldiering with a war…tribe when

no one was noticing; and learned soldier…wiles and soldier…ways;

and what to do with a mouse when opportunity offers; the plain

inference; therefore; is that that is what it DID。  Since all

these manifold things COULD have occurred; we have EVERY RIGHT TO

BELIEVE they did occur。  These patiently and painstakingly

accumulated vast acquirements and competences needed but one

thing moreopportunityto convert themselves into triumphal

action。  The opportunity came; we have the result; BEYOND SHADOW

OF QUESTION the mouse is in the kitten。



It is proper to remark that when we of the three cults plant

a 〃WE THINK WE MAY ASSUME;〃 we expect it; under careful watering

and fertilizing and tending; to grow up into a strong and hardy

and weather…defying 〃THERE ISN'T A SHADOW OF A DOUBT〃 at last

and it usually happens。



We know what the Baconian's verdict would be:  〃THERE IS NOT

A RAG OF EVIDENCE THAT THE KITTEN HAS HAD ANY TRAINING; ANY

EDUCATION; ANY EXPERIENCE QUALIFYING IT FOR THE PRESENT OCCASION;

OR IS INDEED EQUIPPED FOR ANY ACHIEVEMENT ABOVE LIFTING SUCH

UNCLAIMED MILK AS COMES ITS WAY; BUT THERE IS ABUNDANT EVIDENCE

UNASSAILABLE PROOF; IN FACTTHAT THE OTHER ANIMAL IS EQUIPPED;

TO THE LAST DETAIL; WITH EVERY QUALIFICATION NECESSARY FOR THE

EVENT。  WITHOUT SHADOW OF DOUBT THE TOM…CAT CONTAINS THE MOUSE。〃





VI



When Shakespeare died; in 1616; great literary productions

attributed to him as author had been before the London world and

in high favor for twenty…four years。  Yet his death was not an

event。  It made no stir; it attracted no attention。  Apparently

his eminent literary contemporaries did not realize that a

celebrated poet had passed from their midst。  Perhaps they knew a

play…actor of minor rank had disappeared; but did not regard him

as the author of his Works。  〃We are justified in assuming〃 this。



His death was not even an event in the little town of

Stratford。  Does this mean that in Stratford he was not regarded

as a celebrity of ANY kind?



〃We are privileged to assume〃no; we are indeed OBLIGED to

assumethat such was the case。  He had spent the first twenty…

two or twenty…three years of his life there; and of course knew

everybody and was known by everybody of that day in the town;

including the dogs and the cats and the horses。  He had spent the

last five or six years of his life there; diligently trading in

every big and little thing that had money in it; so we are

compelled to assume that many of the folk there in those said

latter days knew him personally; and the rest by sight and

hearsay。  But not as a CELEBRITY?  Apparently not。  For everybody

soon forgot to remember any contact with him or any incident

connected with him。  The dozens of townspeople; still alive; who

had known of him or known about him in the first twenty…three

years of his life were in the same unremembering condition:  if

they knew of any incident connected with that period of his life

they didn't tell about it。  Would the if they had been asked?  It

is most likely。  Were they asked?  It is pretty apparent that

they were not。  Why weren't they?  It is a very plausible guess

that nobody there or elsewhere was interested to know。



For seven years after Shakespeare's death nobody seems to have been

interested in him。  Then the quarto was published; and Ben Jonson

awoke out of his long indifference and sang a song of praise and

put it in the front of the book。  Then silence fell AGAIN。



For sixty years。  Then inquiries into Shakespeare's Stratford

life began to be made; of Stratfordians。  Of Stratfordians

who had known Shakespeare or had seen him?  No。  Then of

Stratfordians who had seen people who had known or seen

people who had seen Shakespeare?  No。  Apparently the inquires

were only made of Stratfordians who were not Stratfordians of

Shakespeare's day; but later comers; and what they had learned

had come to them from persons who had not seen Shakespeare; and

what they had learned was not claimed as FACT; but only as legend

dim and fading and indefinite legend; legend of the calf…slaughtering

rank; and not worth remembering either as history or fiction。



Has it ever happened beforeor sincethat a celebrated

person who had spent exactly half of a fairly long life in the

village where he was born and reared; was able to slip out of

this world and leave that village voiceless and gossipless behind

himutterly voiceless。; utterly gossipless?  And permanently so?

I don't believe it has happened in any case except Shakespeare's。

And couldn't and wouldn't have happened in his case if he had

been regarded as a celebrity at the time of his death。



When I examine my own casebut let us do that; and see if

it will not be recognizable as exhibiting a condition of things

quite likely to result; most likely to result; indeed

substantially SURE to result in the case of a celebrated person;

a benefactor of the human race。  Like me。



My parents brought me to the village of Hannibal; Missouri;

on the banks of the Mississippi; when I was two and a half years

old。  I entered school at five years of age; and drifted from one

school to another in the village during nine and a half years。

Then my father died; leaving his family in exceedingly straitened

circumstances; wherefore my book…education came to a standstill

forever; and I became a printer's apprentice; on board and

clothes; and when the clothes failed I got a hymn…book in place

of them。  This for summer wear; probably。  I lived in Hannibal

fifteen and a half years; altogether; then ran away; according to

the custom of persons who are intending to become celebrated。  I

never lived there afterward。  Four years later I became a 〃cub〃

on a Mississippi steamboat in the St。 Louis and New Orleans

trade; and after a year and a half of hard study and hard work

the U。S。 inspectors rigorously examined me through a couple of

long sittings and decided that I knew every inch of the

Mississippithirteen hundred milesin the dark and in the day

as well as a baby knows the way to its mother's paps day or

night。  So they licensed me as a pilotknighted me; so to speak

and I rose up clothed with authority; a responsible servant of

the United States Government。



Now then。  Shakespeare died younghe was only fifty…two。

He had lived in his native village twenty…six years; or about

that。  He died celebrated (if you believe everything you read in

the books)。  Yet when he died nobody there or elsewhere took any

notice of it; and for sixty years afterward no townsman

remembered to say anything about him or about his life in

Stratford。  When the inquirer came at last he got but one fact

no; LEGENDand got that one at second hand; from a person who

had only heard it as a rumor and didn't claim copyright in it as

a production of his own。  He couldn't; very well; for its date

antedated his own birth…date。  But necessarily a number of

persons were still alive in Stratford who; in the days of their

youth; had seen Shakespeare nearly every day in the last five

years of his life; and they would have been able to tell that

inquirer some first…hand things about him if he had in those last

days been a celebrity and therefore a person of interest to the

villagers。  Why did not the inquirer hunt them up and interview

them?  Wasn't it worth while?  Wasn't the matter of sufficient

consequence?  Had the inquirer an engagement to see a dog…fight

and couldn't spare the time?



It all seems to mean that he never had any literary celebrity;

there or elsewhere; and no considerable repute as actor and manager。



Now then; I am away along in lifemy seventy…third year

being already well behind meyet SIXTEEN of my Hannibal

schoolmates are still alive today; and can telland do tell

inquirers dozens and dozens of incidents of their young lives and

mine together; things that happened to us in the morning of life;

in the blossom of our youth; in the good days; the dear days;

〃the days when we went gipsying; a long time ago。〃  Most of them

creditable to me; too。  One child to whom I paid court when she

was five years old and I eight still lives in Hannibal; a

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