the ragged trousered philanthropists-第69部分

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Tommy's　boots　were　so　broken　that　the　wet　had　got　in　and　saturated　his　stockings；　so　Nora　made　him　take　them　all　off　and　wear　some　old　ones　of　Frankie's　whilst　his　own　were　drying　at　the　fire。

Philpot；　with　two　large　paper　bags　full　of　oranges　and　nuts；　arrived　just　as　they　were　sitting　down　to　tea　…　or　rather　cocoa　…　for　with　the　exception　of　Bert　all　the　children　expressed　a　preference　for　the　latter　beverage。　　Bert　would　have　liked　to　have　cocoa　also；　but　hearing　that　the　grown…ups　were　going　to　have　tea；　he　thought　it　would　be　more　manly　to　do　the　same。　　This　question　of　having　tea　or　cocoa　for　tea　became　a　cause　of　much　uproarious　merriment　on　the　part　of　the　children；　who　asked　each　other　repeatedly　which　they　liked　best；　‘tea　tea？'　or　‘cocoa　tea？'　　They　thought　it　so　funny　that　they　said　it　over　and　over　again；　screaming　with　laughter　all　the　while；　until　Tommy　got　a　piece　of　cake　stuck　in　his　throat　and　became　nearly　black　in　the　face；　and　then　Philpot　had　to　turn　him　upside　down　and　punch　him　in　the　back　to　save　him　from　choking　to　death。　　This　rather　sobered　the　others；　but　for　some　time　afterwards　whenever　they　looked　at　each　other　they　began　to　laugh　afresh　because　they　thought　it　was　such　a　good　joke。

When　they　had　filled　themselves　up　with　the　‘cocoa…tea'　and　cakes　and　bread　and　jam；　Elsie　Linden　and　Nellie　Newman　helped　to　clear　away　the　cups　and　saucers；　and　then　Owen　lit　the　candles　on　the　Christmas　tree　and　distributed　the　toys　to　the　children；　and　a　little　while　afterwards　Philpot　…　who　had　got　a　funny…looking　mask　out　of　one　of　the　bon…bons　…　started　a　fine　game　pretending　to　be　a　dreadful　wild　animal　which　he　called　a　Pandroculus；　and　crawling　about　on　all　fours；　rolled　his　goggle　eyes　and　growled　out　he　must　have　a　little　boy　or　girl　to　eat　for　his　supper。

He　looked　so　terrible　that　although　they　knew　it　was　only　a　joke　they　were　almost　afraid　of　him；　and　ran　away　laughing　and　screaming　to　shelter　themselves　behind　Nora　or　Owen；　but　all　the　same；　whenever　Philpot　left　off　playing；　they　entreated　him　to　‘be　it　again'；　and　so　he　had　to　keep　on　being　a　Pandroculus；　until　exhaustion　compelled　him　to　return　to　his　natural　form。

After　this　they　all　sat　round　the　table　and　had　a　game　of　cards；　‘Snap'；　they　called　it；　but　nobody　paid　much　attention　to　the　rules　of　the　game：　everyone　seemed　to　think　that　the　principal　thing　to　do　was　to　kick　up　as　much　row　as　possible。　　After　a　while　Philpot　suggested　a　change　to　‘Beggar　my　neighbour'；　and　won　quite　a　lot　of　cards　before　they　found　out　that　he　had　hidden　all　the　jacks　in　the　pocket　of　his　coat；　and　then　they　mobbed　him　for　a　cheat。　　He　might　have　been　seriously　injured　if　it　had　not　been　for　Bert；　who　created　a　diversion　by　standing　on　a　chair　and　announcing　that　he　was　about　to　introduce　to　their　notice　‘Bert　White's　World…famed　Pandorama'　as　exhibited　before　all　the　nobility　and　crowned　heads　of　Europe；　England；　Ireland　and　Scotland；　including　North　America　and　Wales。

Loud　cheers　greeted　the　conclusion　of　Bert's　speech。　　The　box　was　placed　on　the　table；　which　was　then　moved　to　the　end　of　the　room；　and　the　chairs　were　ranged　in　two　rows　in　front。

The　‘Pandorama'　consisted　of　a　stage…front　made　of　painted　cardboard　and　fixed　on　the　front　of　a　wooden　box　about　three　feet　long　by　two　feet　six　inches　high；　and　about　one　foot　deep　from　back　to　front。　　The　‘Show'　was　a　lot　of　pictures　cut　out　of　illustrated　weekly　papers　and　pasted　together；　end　to　end；　so　as　to　form　a　long　strip　or　ribbon。　Bert　had　coloured　all　the　pictures　with　water…colours。

Just　behind　the　wings　of　the　stage…front　at　each　end　of　the　box　…　was　an　upright　roller；　and　the　long　strip　of　pictures　was　rolled　up　on　this。　　The　upper　ends　of　the　rollers　came　through　the　top　of　the　box　and　had　handles　attached　to　them。　　When　these　handles　were　turned　the　pictures　passed　across　the　stage；　unrolling　from　one　roller　and　rolling　on　to　the　other；　and　were　illuminated　by　the　light　of　three　candles　placed　behind。

The　idea　of　constructing　this　machine　had　been　suggested　to　Bert　by　a　panorama　entertainment　he　had　been　to　see　some　time　before。

‘The　Style　of　the　decorations；'　he　remarked；　alluding　to　the　painted　stage…front；　'is　Moorish。'

He　lit　the　candles　at　the　back　of　the　stage　and；　having　borrowed　a　tea…tray　from　Nora；　desired　the　audience　to　take　their　seats。　　When　they　had　all　done　so；　he　requested　Owen　to　put　out　the　lamp　and　the　candles　on　the　tree；　and　then　he　made　another　speech；　imitating　the　manner　of　the　lecturer　at　the　panorama　entertainment　before　mentioned。

‘Ladies　and　Gentlemen：　with　your　kind　permission　I　am　about　to　hinterduce　to　your　notice　some　pitchers　of　events　in　different　parts　of　the　world。　　As　each　pitcher　appears　on　the　stage　I　will　give　a　short　explanation　of　the　subject；　and　afterwards　the　band　will　play　a　suitable　collection　of　appropriated　music；　consisting　of　hymns　and　all　the　latest　and　most　popular　songs　of　the　day；　and　the　audience　is　kindly　requested　to　join　in　the　chorus。

‘Our　first　scene；'　continued　Bert　as　he　turned　the　handles　and　brought　the　picture　into　view；　‘represents　the　docks　at　Southampton；　the　magnificent　steamer　which　you　see　lying　alongside　the　shore　is　the　ship　which　is　waiting　to　take　us　to　foreign　parts。　　As　we　have　already　paid　our　fare；　we　will　now　go　on　board　and　set　sail。'

As　an　accompaniment　to　this　picture　Bert　played　the　tune　of　‘Goodbye；　Dolly；　I　must　leave　you'；　and　by　the　time　the　audience　had　　finished　singing　the　chorus　he　had　rolled　on　another　scene；　which　depicted　a　dreadful　storm　at　sea；　with　a　large　ship　evidently　on　the　point　of　foundering。　　The　waves　were　running　mountains　high　and　the　inky　clouds　were　riven　by　forked　lightning。　　To　increase　the　terrifying　effect；　Bert　rattled　the　tea　tray　and　played　‘The　Bay　of　Biscay'；　and　the　children　sung　the　chorus　whilst　he　rolled　the　next　picture　into　view。　This　scene　showed　the　streets　of　a　large　city；　mounted　police　with　drawn　swords　were　dispersing　a　crowd：　several　men　had　been　ridden　down　and　were　being　trampled　under　the　hoofs　of　the　horses；　and　a　number　of　others　were　bleeding　profusely　from　wounds　on　the　head　and　face。

‘After　a　rather　stormy　passage　we　arrives　safely　at　the　beautiful　city　of　Berlin；　in　Germany；　just　in　time　to　see　a　procession　of　unemployed　workmen　being　charged　by　the　military　police。　　This　picture　is　hintitled　〃Tariff　Reform　means　Work　for　All〃。'

As　an　appropriate　musical　selection　Bert　played　the　tune　of　a　well…known　song；　and　the　children　sang　the　words：

　　　　　　　　‘To　be　there！　to　be　there！　　　　　　　　　Oh；　I　knew　what　it　was　to　be　there！　　　　　　　　　And　when　they　tore　me　clothes；　　　　　　　　　Blacked　me　eyes　and　broke　me　nose；　　　　　　　　　Then　I　knew　what　it　was　to　be　there！'

During　the　singing　Bert　turned　the　handles　backwards　and　again　brought　on　the　picture　of　the　storm　at　sea。

‘As　we　don't　want　to　get　knocked　on　the　'ed；　we　clears　out　of　Berlin　as　soon　as　we　can　…　whiles　we're　safe　…　and　once　more　embarks　on　our　gallint　ship'　and　after　a　few　more　turns　of　the　'andle　we　finds　ourselves　back　once　more　in　Merry　Hingland；　where　we　see　the　inside　of　a　blacksmith's　shop　with　a　lot　of　half…starved　women　making　iron　chains。　　They　work　seventy　hours　a　week　for　seven　shillings。　　Our　next　scene　is　hintitled　〃The　Hook　and　Eye　Carders〃。　　'Ere　we　see　the　inside　of　a　room　in　Slumtown；　with　a　mother　and　three　children　and　the　old　grandmother　sewin'　hooks　and　eyes　on　cards　to　be　sold　in　drapers'　shops。　　It　ses　underneath　the　pitcher　that　384　hooks　and　384　eyes　has　to　be　joined　together　and　sewed　on　cards　for　one　penny。'

While　this　picture　was　being　rolled　away　the　band　played　and　the　children　sang　with　great　enthusiasm：

　　　　　　　　‘Rule；　Brittania；　Brittania　rules　the　waves！　　　　　　　　　Britons；　never；　never；　never　shall　be　slaves！'

‘Our　next　picture　is　called　〃An　Englishman's　Home〃。　　'Ere　we　see　the　inside　of　another　room　in　Slumtown；　with　the　father　and　mother　and　four　children　sitting　down　to　dinner　…　bread　and　drippin'　and　tea。　　It　ses　underneath　the　pitcher　that　there's　Thirteen　millions　of　people　in　England　always　on　the　verge　of　starvation。　　These　people　that　you　see　in　the　pitcher　might　be　able　to　get　a　better　dinner　than　this　if　it　wasn't　that　most　of　the　money　wot　the　bloke　earns　'as　to　pay　the　rent。　Again　we　turns　the　'andle　and　presently　we　comes　to　another　very　beautiful　scene　…　〃Early　Morning　in　Trafalgar　Square〃。　　'Ere　we　see　a　lot　of　Englishmen　who　have　been　sleepin'　out　all　night　because　they　ain't　got　no　'omes　to　go　to。'

As　a　suitable　selection　for　this　picture；　Bert　played　the　tune　of　a　music…hall　song；　the　words　of　which　were　familiar　to　all　the　youngsters；　who　sang　at　the　top　of　their　voices：

　　　　　　　　‘I　live　in　Trafalgar　Square；　　　　　　　　　With　four　lions　to　guard　me；　　　　　　　　　Pictures　and　statues　all　over　the　place；　　　　　　　　　Lord　Nelson　staring　me　straight　in　the　face；　　　　　　　　　Of　course　it's　rather　draughty；　　　　　　　　　But　still　I'm　sure　you'll　agree；　　　　　　　　　If　it's　good　enough　for　Lord　Nelson；　　　　　　　　　It's　quite　good　enough　for　me。'

‘Next　we　'ave　a　view　of　the　dining…hall　at　the　Topside　Hotel　in　London；　where　we　see　the　tables　set　for　a　millionaires'　banquet。　　The　forks　and　spoons　is　made　of　solid　gold　and　the　plates　is　made　of　silver。　　The　flowers　that　you　see　on　the　tables　and　'angin'　down　from　the　ceilin'　and　on　the　walls　is　worth　？；000　and　it　cost　the　bloke　wot　give　the　supper　over　？0；000　for　this　one　beano。　　A　few　more　turns　of　the　'andle　shows　us　another　glorious　banquet　…　the　King　of　Rhineland　being　entertained　by　the　people　of　England。　　Next　we　finds　ourselves　looking　on　at　the　Lord　Mayor's　supper　at　the　Mansion　House。　　All　the　fat　men　that　you　see　sittin'　at　the　tables　is　Liberal　and　Tory　Members　of　Parlimint。　　After　this　we　'ave　a　very　beautiful　pitcher　hintitled　〃Four　footed　Haristocrats〃。　　'Ere　you　see　Lady　Slumrent's　pet　dogs　sittin'　up　on　chairs　at　their　dinner　table　with　white　linen　napkins　tied　round　their　necks；　eatin'　orf　silver　plates　like　human　people　and　being　waited　on　by　real　live　waiters　in　hevening　dress。　　Lady　Slumrent　is　very　fond　of　her　pretty　pets　and　she　does　not　allow　them　to　be　fed　on　anything　but　the　very　best　food；　they　gets　chicken；　rump　steak；　mutton　chops；　rice　pudding；　jelly　and　custard。'

‘I　wished　I　was