the ragged trousered philanthropists-第95部分

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　bit　of　putty　and　a　little　bit　of　glass…paper；　and　the　paint　at　the　stand；　and　then　'e　gits　it　in　'is　mind　as　'e's　going　in　there　to　paint　it！　　And　'e　doesn't　mess　about　much　over　the　preparing　of　it'。

These　and　many　other　suggestions　…　all　sorts　of　devices　for　scamping　and　getting　over　the　work　…　were　schemed　out　by　Crass　and　the　other　sub…foremen；　who　put　them　into　practice　and　showed　them　to　Misery　and　Rushton　in　the　hope　of　currying　favour　with　them　and　being　‘kept　on'。　And　between　the　lot　of　them　they　made　life　a　veritable　hell　for　themselves；　and　the　hands；　and　everybody　else　around　them。　　And　the　mainspring　of　it　all　was　…　the　greed　and　selfishness　of　one　man；　who　desired　to　accumulate　money！　　For　this　was　the　only　object　of　all　the　driving　and　bullying　and　hatred　and　cursing　and　unhappiness　…　to　make　money　for　Rushton；　who　evidently　considered　himself　a　deserving　case。

It　is　sad　and　discreditable；　but　nevertheless　true；　that　some　of　the　more　selfish　of　the　philanthropists　often　became　weary　of　well…doing；　and　lost　all　enthusiasm　in　the　good　cause。　　At　such　times　they　used　to　say　that　they　were　‘Bloody　well　fed　up'　with　the　whole　business　and　‘Tired　of　tearing　their　bloody　guts　out　for　the　benefit　of　other　people'　and　every　now　and　then　some　of　these　fellows　would　‘chuck　up'　work；　and　go　on　the　booze；　sometimes　stopping　away　for　two　or　three　days　or　a　week　at　a　time。　　And　then；　when　it　was　all　over；　they　came　back；　very　penitent；　to　ask　for　another　‘start'；　but　they　generally　found　that　their　places　had　been　filled。

If　they　happened　to　be　good　‘sloggers'　…　men　who　made　a　practice　of　‘tearing　their　guts　out'　when　they　did　work　…　they　were　usually　forgiven；　and　after　being　admonished　by　Misery；　permitted　to　resume　work；　with　the　understanding　that　if　ever　it　occurred　again　they　would　get　the　‘infernal'　…　which　means　the　final　and　irrevocable　…　sack。



There　was　once　a　job　at　a　shop　that　had　been　a　high…class　restaurant　kept　by　a　renowned　Italian　chef。　　It　had　been　known　as

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　‘MACARONI'S　ROYAL　ITALIAN　CAFE'

Situated　on　the　Grand　Parade；　it　was　a　favourite　resort　of　the　‘Elite'；　who　frequented　it　for　afternoon　tea　and　coffee　and　for　little　suppers　after　the　theatre。

It　had　plate…glass　windows；　resplendent　with　gilding；　marble…topped　tables　with　snow　white　covers；　vases　of　flowers；　and　all　the　other　appurtenances　of　glittering　cut　glass　and　silver。　　The　obsequious　waiters　were　in　evening　dress；　the　walls　were　covered　with　lofty　plate…glass　mirrors　in　carved　and　gilded　frames；　and　at　certain　hours　of　the　day　and　night　an　orchestra　consisting　of　two　violins　and　a　harp　discoursed　selections　of　classic　music。

But　of　late　years　the　business　had　not　been　paying；　and　finally　the　proprietor　went　bankrupt　and　was　sold　out。　　The　place　was　shut　up　for　several　months　before　the　shop　was　let　to　a　firm　of　dealers　in　fancy　articles；　and　the　other　part　was　transformed　into　flats。

Rushton　had　the　contract　for　the　work。　　When　the　men　went　there　to　‘do　it　up'　they　found　the　interior　of　the　house　in　a　state　of　indescribable　filth：　the　ceilings　discoloured　with　smoke　and　hung　with　cobwebs；　the　wallpapers　smeared　and　black　with　grease；　the　handrails　and　the　newel　posts　of　the　staircase　were　clammy　with　filth；　and　the　edges　of　the　doors　near　the　handles　were　blackened　with　greasy　dirt　and　finger…marks。　　The　tops　of　the　skirtings；　the　mouldings　of　the　doors；　the　sashes　of　the　windows　and　the　corners　of　the　floors　were　thick　with　the　accumulated　dust　of　years。

In　one　of　the　upper　rooms　which　had　evidently　been　used　as　a　nursery　or　playroom　for　the　children　of　the　renowned　chef；　the　wallpaper　for　about　two　feet　above　the　skirting　was　blackened　with　grease　and　ornamented　with　childish　drawings　made　with　burnt　sticks　and　blacklead　pencils；　the　door　being　covered　with　similar　artistic　efforts；　to　say　nothing　of　some　rude　attempts　at　carving；　evidently　executed　with　an　axe　or　a　hammer。　　But　all　this　filth　was　nothing　compared　with　the　unspeakable　condition　of　the　kitchen　and　scullery；　a　detailed　description　of　which　would　cause　the　blood　of　the　reader　to　curdle；　and　each　particular　hair　of　his　head　to　stand　on　end。

Let　it　suffice　to　say　that　the　walls；　the　ceiling；　the　floor；　the　paintwork；　the　gas…stove；　the　kitchen　range；　the　dresser　and　everything　else　were　uniformly　absolutely　and　literally　…　black。　　And　the　black　was　composed　of　soot　and　grease。

In　front　of　the　window　there　was　a　fixture　？a　kind　of　bench　or　table；　deeply　scored　with　marks　of　knives　like　a　butcher's　block。　　The　sill　of　the　window　was　about　six　inches　lower　than　the　top　of　the　table；　so　that　between　the　glass　of　the　lower　sash　of　the　window；　which　had　evidently　never　been　raised；　and　the　back　of　the　table；　there　was　a　long　narrow　cavity　or　trough；　about　six　inches　deep；　four　inches　wide　and　as　long　as　the　width　of　the　window；　the　sill　forming　the　bottom　of　the　cavity。

This　trough　was　filled　with　all　manner　of　abominations：　fragments　of　fat　and　decomposed　meat；　legs　of　rabbits　and　fowls；　vegetable　matter；　broken　knives　and　forks；　and　hair：　and　the　glass　of　the　window　was　caked　with　filth　of　the　same　description。

This　job　was　the　cause　of　the　sacking　of　the　Semi…drunk　and　another　man　named　Bill　Bates；　who　were　sent　into　the　kitchen　to　clean　it　down　and　prepare　it　for　painting　and　distempering。

They　commenced　to　do　it；　but　it　made　them　feel　so　ill　that　they　went　out　and　had　a　pint　each；　and　after　that　they　made　another　start　at　it。　But　it　was　not　long　before　they　felt　that　it　was　imperatively　necessary　to　have　another　drink。　　So　they　went　over　to　the　pub；　and　this　time　they　had　two　pints　each。　　Bill　paid　for　the　first　two　and　then　the　Semi…drunk　refused　to　return　to　work　unless　Bill　would　consent　to　have　another　pint　with　him　before　going　back。　　When　they　had　drunk　the　two　pints；　they　decided　…　in　order　to　save　themselves　the　trouble　and　risk　of　coming　away　from　the　job　…　to　take　a　couple　of　quarts　back　with　them　in　two　bottles；　which　the　landlord　of　the　pub　lent　them；　charging　twopence　on　each　bottle；　to　be　refunded　when　they　were　returned。

When　they　got　back　to　the　job　they　found　the　‘coddy'　in　the　kitchen；　looking　for　them　and　he　began　to　talk　and　grumble；　but　the　Semi…drunk　soon　shut　him　up：　he　told　him　he　could　either　have　a　drink　out　of　one　of　the　bottles　or　a　punch　in　the　bloody　nose　…　whichever　he　liked！　　Or　if　he　did　not　fancy　either　of　these　alternatives；　he　could　go　to　hell！

As　the　‘coddy'　was　a　sensible　man　he　took　the　beer　and　advised　them　to　pull　themselves　together　and　try　to　get　some　work　done　before　Misery　came；　which　they　promised　to　do。

When　the　‘coddy'　was　gone　they　made　another　attempt　at　the　work。　Misery　came　a　little　while　afterwards　and　began　shouting　at　them　because　he　said　he　could　not　see　what　they　had　done。　　It　looked　as　if　they　had　been　asleep　all　the　morning：　Here　it　was　nearly　ten　o'clock；　and　as　far　as　he　could　see；　they　had　done　Nothing！

When　he　was　gone　they　drank　the　rest　of　the　beer　and　then　they　began　to　feel　inclined　to　laugh。　　What　did　they　care　for　Hunter　or　Rushton　either？　　To　hell　with　both　of　'em！　　They　left　off　scraping　and　scrubbing；　and　began　throwing　buckets　of　water　over　the　dresser　and　the　walls；　laughing　uproariously　all　the　time。

‘We'll　show　the　bs　how　to　wash　down　paintwork！'　shouted　the　Semi…drunk；　as　he　stood　in　the　middle　of　the　room　and　hurled　a　pailful　of　water　over　the　door　of　the　cupboard。　　‘Bring　us　another　bucket　of　water；　Bill。'

Bill　was　out　in　the　scullery　filling　his　pail　under　the　tap；　and　laughing　so　much　that　he　could　scarcely　stand。　　As　soon　as　it　was　full　he　passed　it　to　the　Semi…drunk；　who　threw　it　bodily；　pail　and　all；　on　to　the　bench　in　front　of　the　window；　smashing　one　of　the　panes　of　glass。　　The　water　poured　off　the　table　and　all　over　the　floor。

Bill　brought　the　next　pailful　in　and　threw　it　at　the　kitchen　door；　splitting　one　of　the　panels　from　top　to　bottom；　and　then　they　threw　about　half　a　dozen　more　pailfuls　over　the　dresser。

‘We'll　show　the　brs　how　to　clean　paintwork；'　they　shouted；　as　they　hurled　the　buckets　at　the　walls　and　doors。

By　this　time　the　floor　was　deluged　with　water；　which　mingled　with　the　filth　and　formed　a　sea　of　mud。

They　left　the　two　taps　running　in　the　scullery　and　as　the　waste　pipe　of　the　sink　was　choked　up　with　dirt；　the　sink　filled　up　and　overflowed　like　a　miniature　Niagara。

The　water　ran　out　under　the　doors　into　the　back…yard；　and　along　the　passage　out　to　the　front　door。　　But　Bill　Bates　and　the　Semi…drunk　remained　in　the　kitchen；　smashing　the　pails　at　the　walls　and　doors　and　the　dresser；　and　cursing　and　laughing　hysterically。

They　had　just　filled　the　two　buckets　and　were　bringing　them　into　the　kitchen　when　they　heard　Hunter's　voice　in　the　passage；　shouting　out　inquiries　as　to　where　all　that　water　came　from。　　Then　they　heard　him　advancing　towards　them　and　they　stood　waiting　for　him　with　the　pails　in　their　hands；　and　directly　he　opened　the　door　and　put　his　head　into　the　room　they　let　fly　the　two　pails　at　him。　　Unfortunately；　they　were　too　drunk　and　excited　to　aim　straight。　　One　pail　struck　the　middle　rail　of　the　door　and　the　other　the　wall　by　the　side　of　it。

Misery　hastily　shut　the　door　again　and　ran　upstairs；　and　presently　the　‘coddy'　came　down　and　called　out　to　them　from　the　passage。

They　went　out　to　see　what　he　wanted；　and　he　told　them　that　Misery　had　gone　to　the　office　to　get　their　wages　ready：　they　were　to　make　out　their　time　sheets　and　go　for　their　money　at　once。　Misery　had　said　that　if　they　were　not　there　in　ten　minutes　he　would　have　the　pair　of　them　locked　up。

The　Semi…drunk　said　that　nothing　would　suit　them　better　than　to　have　all　their　pieces　at　once　…　they　had　spent　all　their　money　and　wanted　another　drink。　　Bill　Bates　concurred；　so　they　borrowed　a　piece　of　blacklead　pencil　from　the　‘coddy'　and　made　out　their　time　sheets；　took　off　their　aprons；　put　them　into　their　tool　bags；　and　went　to　the　office　for　their　money；　which　Misery　passed　out　to　them　through　the　trap…door。

The　news　of　this　exploit　spread　all　over　the　town　during　that　day　and　evening；　and　although　it　was　in　July；　the　next　morning　at　six　o'clock　there　were　half　a　dozen　men　waiting　at　the　yard　to　ask　Misery　if　there　was　‘any　cha