resurrection(复活)-第66部分

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she　knew　whywas　to　make　him　fall　in　love　with　her。　This　both
attracted　and　disgusted　him。　Several　times；　on　the　point　of　going
away；　he　took　up　his　hat；　and　then　stayed　on。

But　at　last；　when　the　husband　returned　with　a　strong　smell　of
tobacco　in　his　thick　moustache；　and　looked　at　Nekhludoff　with　a
patronising；　contemptuous　air；　as　if　not　recognising　him；
Nekhludoff　left　the　box　before　the　door　was　closed　again；　found
his　overcoat；　and　went　out　of　the　theatre。　As　he　was　walking　home
along　the　Nevski；　he　could　not　help　noticing　a　well…shaped　and
aggressively　finely…dressed　woman；　who　was　quietly　walking　in
front　of　him　along　the　broad　asphalt　pavement。　The　consciousness
of　her　detestable　power　was　noticeable　in　her　face　and　the　whole
of　her　figure。　All　who　met　or　passed　that　woman　looked　at　her。
Nekhludoff　walked　faster　than　she　did　and；　involuntarily；　also
looked　her　in　the　face。　The　face；　which　was　probably　painted；　was
handsome；　and　the　woman　looked　at　him　with　a　smile　and　her　eyes
sparkled。　And；　curiously　enough；　Nekhludoff　was　suddenly　reminded
of　Mariette；　because　he　again　felt　both　attracted　and　disgusted
just　as　when　in　the　theatre。

Having　hurriedly　passed　her；　Nekhludoff　turned　off　on　to　the
Morskaya；　and　passed　on　to　the　embankment；　where；　to　the　surprise
of　a　policeman；　he　began　pacing　up　and　down　the　pavement。

〃The　other　one　gave　me　just　such　a　smile　when　I　entered　the
theatre；〃　he　thought；　〃and　the　meaning　of　the　smile　was　the　same。
The　only　difference　is；　that　this　one　said　plainly；　'If　you　want
me；　take　me；　if　not；　go　your　way；'　and　the　other　one　pretended
that　she　was　not　thinking　of　this；　but　living　in　some　high　and
refined　state；　while　this　was　really　at　the　root。　Besides；　this
one　was　driven　to　it　by　necessity；　while　the　other　amused　herself
by　playing　with　that　enchanting；　disgusting；　frightful　passion。
This　woman　of　the　street　was　like　stagnant；　smelling　water
offered　to　those　whose　thirst　was　greater　than　their　disgust；
that　other　one　in　the　theatre　was　like　the　poison　which；
unnoticed；　poisons　everything　it　gets　into。〃

Nekhludoff　recalled　his　liaison　with　the　Marechal's　wife；　and
shameful　memories　rose　before　him。

〃The　animalism　of　the　brute　nature　in　man　is　disgusting；〃　thought
he；　〃but　as　long　as　it　remains　in　its　naked　form　we　observe　it
from　the　height　of　our　spiritual　life　and　despise　it；
andwhether　one　has　fallen　or　resistedone　remains　what　one　was
before。　But　when　that　same　animalism　hides　under　a　cloak　of
poetry　and　aesthetic　feeling　and　demands　our　worshipthen　we　are
swallowed　up　by　it　completely；　and　worship　animalism；　no　longer
distinguishing　good　from　evil。　Then　it　is　awful。〃

Nekhludoff　perceived　all　this　now　as　clearly　as　he　saw　the
palace；　the　sentinels；　the　fortress；　the　river；　the　boats；　and
the　Stock　Exchange。　And　just　as　on　this　northern　summer　night
there　was　no　restful　darkness　on　the　earth；　but　only　a　dismal；
dull　light　coming　from　an　invisible　source；　so　in　Nekhludoff's
soul　there　was　no　longer　the　restful　darkness；　ignorance。
Everything　seemed　clear。　It　was　clear　that　everything　considered
important　and　good　was　insignificant　and　repulsive；　and　that　all
the　glamour　and　luxury　hid　the　old；　well…known　crimes；　which　not
only　remained　unpunished　but　were　adorned　with　all　the　splendour
which　men　were　capable　of　inventing。

Nekhludoff　wished　to　forget　all　this；　not　to　see　it；　but　he　could
no　longer　help　seeing　it。　Though　he　could　not　see　the　source　of
the　light　which　revealed　it　to　him　any　more　than　he　could　see　the
source　of　the　light　which　lay　over　Petersburg；　and　though　the
light　appeared　to　him　dull；　dismal；　and　unnatural；　yet　he　could
not　help　seeing　what　it　revealed；　and　he　felt　both　joyful　and
anxious。


CHAPTER　XXIX。

FOR　HER　SAKE　AND　FOR　GOD'S。

On　his　return　to　Moscow　Nekhludoff　went　at　once　to　the　prison
hospital　to　bring　Maslova　the　sad　news　that　the　Senate　had
confirmed　the　decision　of　the　Court；　and　that　she　must　prepare　to
go　to　Siberia。　He　had　little　hope　of　the　success　of　his　petition
to　the　Emperor；　which　the　advocate　had　written　for　him；　and　which
he　now　brought　with　him　for　Maslova　to　sign。　And；　strange　to　say；
he　did　not　at　present　even　wish　to　succeed；　he　had　got　used　to
the　thought　of　going　to　Siberia　and　living　among　the　exiled　and
the　convicts；　and　he　could　not　easily　picture　to　himself　how　his
life　and　Maslova's　would　shape　if　she　were　acquitted。　He
remembered　the　thought　of　the　American　writer；　Thoreau；　who　at
the　time　when　slavery　existed　in　America　said　that　〃under　a
government　that　imprisons　any　unjustly　the　true　place　for　a　just
man　is　also　a　prison。〃　Nekhludoff；　especially　after　his　visit　to
Petersburg　and　all　he　discovered　there；　thought　in　the　same　way。

〃Yes；　the　only　place　befitting　an　honest　man　in　Russia　at　the
present　time　is　a　prison；〃　he　thought；　and　even　felt　that　this
applied　to　him　personally；　when　he　drove　up　to　the　prison　and
entered　its　walls。

The　doorkeeper　recognised　Nekhludoff；　and　told　him　at　once　that
Maslova　was　no　longer　there。

〃Where　is　she；　then？〃

〃In　the　cell　again。〃

〃Why　has　she　been　removed？〃　Nekhludoff　asked。

〃Oh；　your　excellency；　what　are　such　people？〃　said　the　doorkeeper；
contemptuously。　〃She's　been　carrying　on　with　the　medical
assistant；　so　the　head　doctor　ordered　her　back。〃

Nekhludoff　had　had　no　idea　how　near　Maslova　and　the　state　of　her
mind　were　to　him。　He　was　stunned　by　the　news。

He　felt　as　one　feels　at　the　news　of　a　great　and　unforeseen
misfortune；　and　his　pain　was　very　severe。　His　first　feeling　was
one　of　shame。　He；　with　his　joyful　idea　of　the　change　that　he
imagined　was　going　on　in　her　soul；　now　seemed　ridiculous　in　his
own　eyes。　He　thought　that　all　her　pretence　of　not　wishing　to
accept　his　sacrifice；　all　the　reproaches　and　tears；　were　only　the
devices　of　a　depraved　woman；　who　wished　to　use　him　to　the　best
advantage。　He　seemed　to　remember　having　seen　signs　of　obduracy　at
his　last　interview　with　her。　All　this　flashed　through　his　mind　as
he　instinctively　put　on　his　hat　and　left　the　hospital。

〃What　am　I　to　do　now？　Am　I　still　bound　to　her？　Has　this　action　of
hers　not　set　me　free？〃　And　as　he　put　these　questions　to　himself
he　knew　at　once　that　if　he　considered　himself　free；　and　threw　her
up；　he　would　be　punishing　himself；　and　not　her；　which　was　what　he
wished　to　do；　and　he　was　seized　with　fear。

〃No；　what　has　happened　cannot　alterit　can　only　strengthen　my
resolve。　Let　her　do　what　flows　from　the　state　her　mind　is　in。　If
it　is　carrying　on　with　the　medical　assistant；　let　her　carry　on
with　the　medical　assistant；　that　is　her　business。　I　must　do　what
my　conscience　demands　of　me。　And　my　conscience　expects　me　to
sacrifice　my　freedom。　My　resolution　to　marry　her；　if　only　in
form；　and　to　follow　wherever　she　may　be　sent；　remains
unalterable。〃　Nekhludoff　said　all　this　to　himself　with　vicious
obstinacy　as　he　left　the　hospital　and　walked　with　resolute　steps
towards　the　big　gates　of　the　prison。　He　asked　the　warder　on　duty
at　the　gate　to　inform　the　inspector　that　he　wished　to　see
Maslova。　The　warder　knew　Nekhludoff；　and　told　him　of　an　important
change　that　had　taken　place　in　the　prison。　The　old　inspector　had
been　discharged；　and　a　new；　very　severe　official　appointed　in　his
place。

〃They　are　so　strict　nowadays；　it's　just　awful；〃　said　the　jailer。
〃He　is　in　here；　they　will　let　him　know　directly。〃

The　new　inspector　was　in　the　prison　and　soon　came　to　Nekhludoff。
He　was　a　tall；　angular　man；　with　high　cheek　bones；　morose；　and
very　slow　in　his　movements。

〃Interviews　are　allowed　in　the　visiting　room　on　the　appointed
days；〃　he　said；　without　looking　at　Nekhludoff。

〃But　I　have　a　petition　to　the　Emperor；　which　I　want　signed。〃

〃You　can　give　it　to　me。〃

〃I　must　see　the　prisoner　myself。　I　was　always　allowed　to　before。〃

〃That　was　so；　before；〃　said　the　inspector；　with　a　furtive　glance
at　Nekhludoff。

〃I　have　a　permission　from　the　governor；〃　insisted　Nekhludoff；　and
took　out　his　pocket…book。

〃Allow　me；〃　said　the　inspector；　taking　the　paper　from　Nekhludoff
with　his　long；　dry；　white　fingers；　on　the　first　of　which　was　a
gold　ring；　still　without　looking　him　in　the　eyes。　He　read　the
paper　slowly。　〃Step　into　the　office；　please。〃

This　time　the　office　was　empty。　The　inspector　sat　down　by　the
table　and　began　sorting　some　papers　that　lay　on　it；　evidently
intending　to　be　present　at　the　interview。

When　Nekhludoff　asked　whether　he　might　see　the　political
prisoner；　Doukhova；　the　inspector　answered；　shortly；　that　he
could　not。　〃Interviews　with　political　prisoners　are　not
permitted；〃　he　said；　and　again　fixed　his　attention　on　his　papers。
With　a　letter　to　Doukhova　in　his　pocket；　Nekhludoff　felt　as　if　he
had　committed　some　offence；　and　his　plans　had　been　discovered　and
frustrated。

When　Maslova　entered　the　room　the　inspector　raised　his　head；　and；
without　looking　at　either　her　or　Nekhludoff；　remarked：　〃You　may
talk；〃　and　went　on　sorting　his　papers。　Maslova　had　again　the
white　jacket；　petticoat　and　kerchief　on。　When　she　came　up　to
Nekhludoff　and　saw　his　cold；　hard　look；　she　blushed　scarlet；　and
crumbling　the　hem　of　her　jacket　with　her　hand；　she　cast　down　her
eyes。　Her　confusion；　so　it　seemed　to　Nekhludoff；　confirmed　the
hospital　doorkeeper's　words。

Nekhludoff　had　meant　to　treat　her　in　the　same　way　as　before；　but
could　not　bring　himself　to　shake　hands　with　her；　so　disgusting
was　she　to　him　now。

〃I　have　brought　you　had　news；〃　he　said；　in　a　monotonous　voice；
without　looking　at　her　or　taking　her　hand。　〃The　Senate　has
refused。〃

〃I　knew　it　would；〃　she　said；　in　a　strange　tone；　as　if　she　were
gasping　for　breath。

Formerly　Nekhludoff　would　have　asked　why　she　said　she　knew　it
would；　now　he　only　looked　at　her。　Her　eyes　were　full　of　tears。
But　this　did　not　soften　him；　it　roused　his　irritation　against　her
even　more。

The　inspector　rose　and　began　pacing　up　and　down　the　room。

In　spite　of　the　disgust　Nekhludoff　was　feeling　at　the　moment；　he
considered　it　right　to　express　his　regret　at　the　Senate's
decision。

〃You　must　not　despair；〃　he　said。　〃The　petition　to　the　Emperor　may
meet　with　success；　and　I　hope…〃

〃I'm　not　thinking　of　that；〃　she　said；　looking　piteously　at　him
with　h