a face illumined-第57部分
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〃I walked to the village with a party of young people;〃 was her
hasty reply; 〃and Mr。 Van Berg met me on our return。 I'm very
tired。 Good…night;〃 and she went directly to her room。
The artist's manner in parting was polite and respectful; and by
this simple act; he did much to reinstate her in the social position
she had well nigh lost; through her supposed infatuation with the
man who was now a synonym in the house for everything that was
vile。
On the following day; through the aid of Miss Burton; he caused
the impression to be generally given that Miss Mayhew had been
exceedingly mortified that she had ever associated with such a
villain as Sibley had shown himself to be; and still more pained
to think that she should be imagined capable of any other feeling
save contempt for him; after learning of his disgraceful words and
actions。 These explanations gave an entirely new aspect to the
matter; and sufficiently accounted for her increasing indisposition
and rather odd behavior。 Indeed; people placed it to her credit
that she was so deeply affected; and were all the more inclined to
make amends for having misjudged her。
Mrs。 Mayhew accompanied her daughter to her room; but Ida told her
that she was too weary to answer a single question; and that she
wished to be alone。
〃Van; may I speak with you?〃 Stanton had asked; anxiously。
When they were sufficiently far from the house to ensure privacy
he began again: 〃Van; what's the matter? You were as white as if
you had seen a ghost。〃
〃I'm not afraid of ghosts;〃 said the artist; almost sternly; 〃but
there are things which I mortally fear; and chief among these are
blundersstupid; irrational acts; but involving results that may
be beyond remedy。 You and I have just made one that might have
cost us dear。 Of course you will treat your cousin hereafter as
you please; but I most decidedly request that you do and say nothing
that involves any reference to me。 I wish her to form her opinions
of my attitude towards her solely from her own observation。〃
〃I think you are a trifle severe; but I suppose I deserve it;〃 said
Stanton; stiffly。
〃I admit that I am strongly moved。 I do not excuse myself in the
least; and yet you know I was misled。 I must tell you plainly that
Ida Mayhew is not a girl to be trifled with。 I fear her mother
wholly fails in understanding her; and from what you yourself have
told me of her father; she has no help there。 She has no brother;
and you should take the place of one; as far as possible。 The
only right I have to speak thus is on the ground of the great wrong
I have done her; and for which I can never forgive myself。 Miss
Mayhew and I are comparative strangers and our brief summer sojourn
here will soon be over。 By mere accident facts have come to my
knowledge to…night which prove in the most emphatic manner; that
she requires kind; unobtrusive; but vigilant care。 I never knew
of a girl who needed a brother more than she。 She is not bad at
heartfar from it; but she is fearfully rash; and she is warped
by education; or its lack; and by the vile literature she has read;
to such a degree that she cannot see things in their true moral
aspects。 I'll give you a plain hint; and then you must not ask me
anything further; for both you and I must be able to say that the
history of my last interview was never given。 My hint is thisI
do not believe that self…destruction ever appeared to Miss Mayhew
as an awful and revolting crime。 Her actual life; hitherto; has
been a round of frivolity。 Only on the stage or in the absurd woes
of her stilted heroes and heroines; has she given any attention to
the sad and serious side of life。 Men and women committing suicide
to slow music is the chief stock in trade in some quarters; and
when serious trouble came to her this devil's comedy had been robbed
of its horror by the clap…trap of stage effect。 That is the only
way in which I can account for it all or excuse her。 But the fact
that she recoiled from Sibley so strongly and felt the disgrace
of her association so keenly; proves that she possesses a true
woman's nature。 But; as I said; she needs a brother's care。 You
are nearest of kin; Stanton; and you must give it。 Indeed; Ik;
pardon the freedom of an old friend whom circumstances have strangely
mixed up in this affair; I think you are honor…bound to give this
brother's protection; and you ARE a man of honor if you pass your
word。〃
〃Do youdo you think there is still any danger that she will…〃
〃No; the danger is passed for this occasion; but you must guard
her from deep despondency or strong provocation in the future。〃
〃The task you require is a difficult one。 I doubt whether she ever
forgives me even。〃
〃I think she will。 I have also learned to…night that genuine
kindness and sympathy have great weight with her。 Pledge me your
word that you will do the best you can。〃
〃Well; Van; I suppose I oughtI will。 But your words have quite
unnerved me。〃
〃Unnerved! I'm worse than that。 I feel as if I had passed through
a month's illness。 Never breathe a whisper of all this to any one。
Good…night。〃 And he strode away in the darkness。
Having reached a secluded spot; he ground the phial of laudanum
that Ida had given him under his heel with the vindictiveness with
which he would stamp out the life of a poisonous reptile。
Then he returned to his room and took out Ida's letter; but his
hands trembled so that he could scarcely open it。 As he read; they
trembled still more; and his face became almost ashen in its hue。
He was so appalled at what might have happened that his heart seemed
for a second to cease its pulsations。
〃Great God!〃 he said; in a hoarse whisper〃what an escape I've
had!〃
Hour after hour passed; but he sat motionless; staring at the abyss
into which he had almost stumbled。
The song of a bird without reminded him that morning was near。 He
drew the curtain and saw that the dawn was reddening the sky。
〃Thank God;〃 he cried; fervently; 〃for the escape we both have
had!〃
Then; in order to throw off the horrible nightmare that had oppressed
him; he stole quietly out into the fresh; cool; dewy air。
Chapter XL。 Van Berg's Conclusions。
Van Berg knew that the word 〃discouragement〃 was in the dictionary;
and he supposed he understood its meaning; but Ida Mayhew's farewell
letter proved to him that he was mistaken。 There are some things
we never learn until taught by the severe logic of events and
experience。 There had been nothing in his own history or character
that enabled him to realize the dreary sinking of heartthe
paralyzing despondency of those who believe or fear that they have
been defeated and thwarted in life。 Through the weaknesses and
dangers of early life he had been shielded with loving vigilance。
His mind and taste had been fostered with untiring care; and yet
every new development praised as unstintedly as if all were of
native growth。 Fortunately he abounded in virile force and good
sense; and so gradually passed from self…complacency and conceit
to the self…reliance and courage of a strong man; who; while aware
of his ability and vantage…ground; also recognizes the fact that
nothing can take the place of skillfully directed industry in
well…defined directions。 The confidence that had been created by
the favorable conditions of his lot had been increased far more
by the knowledge that he could go out into the world and hold his
own among men on the common ground of hard work and innate strength。
He expected esteem; respectful courtesyand even admirationas
a matter of course。 They were in part his birthright and partly
the result of his own achievement; and he received them as quietly
as his customary income。 Their presence was like his excellent
health; to which he scarcely gave a thought; but their withdrawal
would have affected him keenly; although he had never considered
the possibility of such a thing。
What in him was confidence and self…reliance had been in Ida little
else than vanity and pride; and these; circumstances had enabled
him to wound unto death。 He had; from the first; calmly and
philosophically recognized the fact that he must break down; in
part; the Chinese wall of her self…approval; before any elevating
ideas and ennobling impulses could enter; and as much through
unforeseen events as by his effort; this had been done to a degree
that threatened results that appalled him。 He had been taught
thoroughly that faulty and ignorant as she undoubtedly was; she
was by no means shallow or weak。 To his mind the depth of her
despondency was the measure of her power to realize her imperfection;
for he now supposed her depression was caused immediately by the
fact that she had been so harshly misjudged; but in the main because
of her resemblance to the flower he had tossed away and which he now
remembered; with deep satisfaction; was in his note…book; ready to
aid in the reassuring and encouraging work upon which he was eager
to enter。
He did not dream that by tactics the reverse of those pursued by
her numerous admirers he had won her heart; and that the apparent
hopelessness of her passion had outweighed all other burdens。
Her kindest sentiment towards him; he believed; was the cold respect;
mingled with fear and dislike; in which a sever but honest critic
is sometimes held; and as he recalled his course towards her he
now felt that she had little reason for even this degree of regard。
He had awakened her sleeping mind not to an atmosphere of kindness
and sympathy like that in which the beauty in the fabled castle
had revived; but to a biting frost of harsh criticism and unjust
suspicion。 That there seemed; at the time; good reason for these
on his part did not make it any easier for her to be