a face illumined-第59部分
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low tone; turning away。
〃Only for one cause could I withdraw my welcome;〃 he said; still
more gravely。
〃What is that?〃 she asked in a lower tone; not daring to look at
him。
〃If you are not sincere;〃 he replied; looking at her keenly。
Giving him her hand again; and looking up into his face; she said;
earnestly:
〃Mr。 Eltinge; I am sincere。 I could not be otherwise with you
after your words last night。 I come to you in great trouble; with
a burdened heart and conscience; and I shall tell you everything;
and then you must advise me; for I have no other friend to whom I
can go。〃
〃Oh; yes; you have; my child;〃 said the old man; cheerily。 〃The
One they called the 'Friend of sinners' is here to…day to welcome
you; and is more ready to receive and advise you than I am。 I'm
not going to do anything for you but lead you to him who said;
'Come unto me; all ye that are heavy laden;' and; 'Whosoever cometh
I will in nowise cast out。'〃
〃How much you make those words mean; as you speak them;〃 faltered
Ida。 〃You almost lead me to feel that not far away there is some
one; good and tender…hearted; who will take me by the hand with
reassuring kindness; as you have。〃
〃And you are right。 Why; bless you; my child; religion doesn't do
us much good until we learn to know our Lord as 'good and tender…hearted;'
and so near; too; that we can speak to him; whenever we wish; as
the disciples did in old times。 So don't be one bit discouraged;
see; I'll fasten your horse right here in the shade; and by and by
I'll have him fed; for you must spend the day with us; and not go
back until the cool of the evening。 It hasn't seemed hospitable
that you should have stood so long here under the trees; and I
didn't mean that you should; but things never turn out as we expect。〃
〃It is often well they don't;〃 thought Ida; as she looked around
the quiet and quaintly beautiful spot; to which a kind Providence
had brought her。 It seemed as if her burden already were beginning
to grow lighter。
〃Now come in; my child; and tell me all your trouble。〃
〃Please; Mr。 Eltinge; may I not go back with you into the garden?〃
〃Yes; why not? We can talk there just as well;〃 and he led her
to a rustic seat in a shady walk; while from a tool…house near he
brought out for himself a chair that had lost its back。
〃I'll lean against this pear…tree;〃 he said。 〃It's young and
strong; and owes me a good turn。 Now; my child; tell me what you
think best; and then I'll tell you of One whose word and touch
cures every trouble。〃
But poor Ida had sudden and strong misgivings。 As she saw the
old gentleman surrounded by his flowers and fruits; as she glanced
hesitatingly into his serene; quiet face; from which the fire and
passion of youth had long since faded; she thought。 〃So Adam might
have looked had he never sinned but grown old in his beautiful
garden。 This aged man; who lives nearer heaven than earth; can't
understand my wicked; passionate heart。 My story will only shock
and pain him; and it's a shame to pollute this place with such a
story。〃
〃You spoke as if you were alone and friendless in the world;〃 said
Mr。 Eltinge; trying to help her make a beginning。 〃Are you an
orphan?〃
〃No;〃 said Ida; with rising color; and averting her face。 〃My
parents are both living。〃
〃And yet you cannot go to them? Poor child! That is the worst
kind of orphanage。〃
〃Oh; Mr。 Eltinge; this place seems like the garden of Eden; and I
am bringing into it a heart full of trouble and wickedness。〃
〃Well; my child;〃 replied the old gentleman; with a smile。 〃I've
brought here a heart full of trouble and wickedness many a time;
so you need not fear hurting the garden。〃
〃But I fear I shall pain and shock you。〃
〃I hope you will。 I'm going to feel with and for you。 What's the
good of my sitting here like a post?〃
〃Well;〃 said Ida; desperately; 〃I promised to tell you everything;
and I will。 If there is any chance for me I'll then know it; for
you will not deceive me。 Somehow; what I am and what I have to say
seemed in such sad contrast with you and your garden that I became
afraid。 You asked about my parents。 My father is a very unhappy
man。 He seems to have lost hope and courage。 I now begin to see
that I have been chiefly to blame for this。 I do nothing for his
comfort。 Indeed; I have been so occupied with myself and my own
pleasure that I have given him little thought。 He does not spend
much of his time at home; and when I saw him he was always tired;
sad; and moody。 He seemed to possess nothing that could minister
to my pride and pleasure save money; and I took that freely; with
scarcely even thanks in return。
〃I don't like to speak against my mother; but truth compels me to
add that she acts much in the same way。 I don't think she loves
papa。 Perhaps our treatment is the chief reason why life; seemingly;
has become to him a burden。 When he's not busy in he office he
drinks; and drinks; and I fear it is only to forget his trouble。
Once or twice this summer he has looked like a man; and appeared
capable of throwing off this destroying habit; and then by my
wretched folly I made him do worse than ever;〃 and she burst into
a remorseful passion of tears。
〃That's right; my child;〃 said Mr。 Eltinge; taking off his
spectacles that he might wipe his sympathetic eyes; 〃you were very
much to blame。 Thank god; there are no Pharisees in this garden。
God bless you; go on。〃
〃This that I've told you about my father ought to be my chief
trouble; but it isn't;〃 faltered Ida。 〃I fear you won't understand
me very well now; and you certainly will never be able to understand
how I could be tempted to do something at the very thought of which
I now shudder。〃
〃No matter; my Master can understand it all if I can't。 He's
listening; too; remember。〃
〃It frightens me to think so;〃 said Ida; in an awed; trembling
tone。
〃That's because you don't know him。 If you were severely wounded;
would you be frightened to know that a good physician was right at
hand to heal you?〃
〃But isn't God too infinite and far away to listen to listen to
the story of my weakness and folly? I dare not think of him。 My
difficulty is just thishe IS God; and what am I?〃
〃One of his little children; my dear。 Yes; he is infinite; but
not far away。 In the worst of my weakness and folly he listened
patiently; and helped me out of my trouble。 How are you going to
get over this fact? He has listened to and helped multitudes of
others in every kind of trouble and wrong。 How are you going to
get over these facts?〃
Ida slowly wiped her eyes。 Her face grew very pale; and she looked
at Mr。 Eltinge steadily and earnestly; as if to gather from his
expression and manner; as well as words; the precise effect of her
confession。
〃Mr。 Eltinge;〃 she said; 〃at this time yesterday I did not expect
to be alive to…day。 I expected to be dead; and by my own hand。
Will God forgive such wickedness?〃
〃Dead!〃 exclaimed the old gentleman; starting up。
〃Yes;〃 said Ida; growing still paler and trembling with apprehension;
but still looking fixedly at Mr。 Eltinge as if she would learn
from his face whether she could hope or must despair because of
her intended crime。
〃And what changed your awful purpose; my child?〃 he said; very
gravely。
〃Your words at the prayer…meeting last night。〃
The old gentleman removed his hat and reverently bowed his head。
〃O God;〃 he murmured; 〃thou hast been merciful to me all my days;
I thank thee for this crowning mercy。〃
〃But will God be merciful to ME?〃 cried Ida; in a tone of sharp
agony。
The old man came to he side; and placing his hands on her head spoke
with almost the authority and solemnity of one of God's ancient
prophets。
〃Yes; my child; yes; he will be merciful unto youhe will forgive
you。 But in your deep need you require more than the assurance
of a poor sinful mortal like yourself。 Listen to God's own word:
'Thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity; whose
name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place; with him also
that is of a contrite and humble spirit; to revive the spirit of
the humble; and to revive the heart of the contrite ones。'
〃'Like as a father pitieth his children; so the Lord pitieth them
that fear him。'
〃'If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our
sins; and the blood of Jesus Christ; his Son; cleanseth us from
all sin。' God answers your question himself; my child。〃
〃Oh; may He bless you for your kindness to me! It has saved me
from despair and death;〃 sobbed Ida; burying her face in her hands;
and giving way to the natural expression of feeling that ever
relieves a heart that has long been overburdened。
For a few moments Mr。 Eltinge said nothing; but gently stroked the
bowed head as he might caress a daughter of his own。 At last he
asked; with a voice that was broken from sympathy with her emotion;
〃How about my Master; whose kind providence has brought all this
about?〃
Ida gradually became more quiet; and as soon as she could trust
herself to speak she lifter her head and answered:
〃Mr。 Eltinge; I think I can learn to love God as you portray him
to me。 But in my imperfection and wickedness I have not dared to
think of him till I came here。〃
〃Now; isn't that just like the devil's work!〃 exclaimed Mr。 Eltinge。
〃It was our imperfection and wickedness that brought Christ to
our rescue; and yet you have been made to believe that your chief
claim upon our Divine Friend is a hopeless barrier against you!〃
〃Mr。 Eltinge;〃 said Ida; slowly; as if she were trying to be sure
that each word expressed her thought; 〃it was that word; FRIEND;
as you used it last night; that caught my ear and reviv