a face illumined-第93部分
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scrutiny with a fluttering heart。 〃I suppose he does the best he
can;〃 she thought; 〃but she'll surely find him out; there is no
use of trying to hide anything from a woman who loves。 Well; well;
let her but remain discreetly blind for a little time; and with
her powers of fascination she will win him heart and soul。〃
Before Jennie slept that night her mind was clear as to her course。
〃I think;〃 she murmured; 〃I understand them both now。 His manner
towards Miss Mayhew is certainly not that of a conventional
lover; but as I have seen him look at her twice as if he could say
his prayers to her; I think I'll venture on the only match…making
I ever attempted。 But what to do with Mr。 Stanton; I don't know。
Poor man! he might as well love a shadow as me; and yet he seems
so simple; honest; and real himself。 He is disappointing me daily;
and I have wronged him very much。 I thought him a selfish man of
the world; but he persists in offering me a chivalric; unselfish
devotion; for which he asks nothing in return。 Alas! I can give
him nothingnothing compared with what he gives。〃
〃I am going to make my last visit to Mr。 Eltinge and the old
garden;〃 said Ida to Van Berg as she passed him on the piazza the
following morning。
He looked after her so wistfully; and sighed so deeply; that Jennie
Burton; unseen herself; smiled as if she had discovered something
that gave her deep satisfaction。
〃Mr。 Van Berg;〃 she said a few moments later 〃can you give me a
little of your valuable time to…day?〃
〃All of it;〃 he said promptly。
〃Thanks。 I shall take; then; all I want。 Come with me to yonder
shady rustic seat; for I long to be out of doors again; and you
have learned to hobble so gracefully and deftly that you can manage
the journey; I'm sure。〃
He accompanied her; wondering a little at her words and manner。
When they had reached the seclusion she sought her manner changed;
and she became very grave and earnest; for she felt that it might
be the crisis moment of two lives; and she was not one who could
self…complacently and confidently seek to shape human destiny。
〃Mr。 Van Berg;〃 she said; 〃I shall not use any tedious circumlocution;
for your time is precious this morning; more so than you think at
this moment。 Nor shall I try to entrap you by guile and feminine
diplomacy; but you made me a very explicit pledge when I found you
last Tuesday morning。〃
〃Yes; Jennie Burton; I am yours; body and soul。〃
〃But how about your heart; Mr。 Van Berg?〃
〃My heart overflows with gratitude to you;〃 he said promptly; but
with rising color; 〃and as I said when you rescued me; so now I
vow again; I dedicate my life to you。 I do not ask you to forget
the past all at onceI do not ask you to forget it at allbut only
to let me aid you in taking the bitterness out of those memories
that now are destroying as sweet and beneficent a life as God ever
gave。 I have suspected that you had some unselfish guile in that
last promise you obtained from me; but I shall be loyal to the
promise I intended to make; and which was in my mind; I shall be
loyal to the promise I made you at first; to win you if I could;
and I shall wait till I can。〃
〃What; then; will Ida Mayhew do?〃 she asked looking him full in
the face。
He colored still more deeply; but meeting her searching gaze without
blenching; he said; firmly and quietly: 〃She will always do what
is right and noble; God bless her!〃
Miss Burton appeared a little perplexed and troubled for a moment;
and then said; slowly: 〃I called you my friend last July; and when
I speak in the mood I was in then I mean all that I say。 Friends
should be very frank when the occasion requires; or else they are
but acquaintances。 I am going to be very frank with you to…day;
and if I err; charge it to friendship only。 Ida Mayhew loves you;
Mr。 Van Berg; she has loved you almost from the first; and now that
her life has become so noble and beautiful; I am greatly mistaken
if you do not return her affection。 If this be true; what are you
offering me?〃
〃I HAVE given you; Miss Burton; my truth and loyalty for all coming
time。 You may decline them nowyou probably willbut you cannot
change my attitude towards you or alter my course。 I shall not
attempt to hide anything from you。 Indeed; to do so would be vain;
and I have never been intentionally insincere with you。〃 Then he
told her of the freak of fancy that had led him to follow Ida to
the country in the first instance; and much that followed since;
making no reference; however; to her dark purpose against herself。
In conclusion he said: 〃Of late; for reasons obvious to you; she
has had strong fascinations for me; but above and beyond these
has been her influence on the side of all that's right; manly; and
true。 I have never spoken of love to Miss Mayhew。 Honor; loyalty;
unbounded gratitude; and deep affection bind me to you; and shall
through life。 Please say no more; Miss Jennie; for if any question
was ever settled; this is。〃
〃Then you propose to sacrifice yourself and Miss Mayhew for the
shadowy chance of making me a little happier?〃
〃I shall not be sacrificed; and Ida Mayhew would justly reject
me with scorn were I disloyal to you。 I can give you more love;
Jennie Burton; than I fear you will ever give me; but I shall wait
patiently。 When months and years have proved to you the truth of
my words; you may feel differently。 Let us leave the subject till
then。〃
〃Oh; Mr。 Van Berg; I shall have to tell you after all;〃 she said
burying her face in her hands。
〃You need not now;〃 he replied gently。 〃You have been ill and are
not strong enough for this agitation。 You never need to tell me
unless it will make your burden lighter。〃
〃It will make my burden lighter to…day;〃 she said hurriedly。 〃Pardon
me if I tell my story in the briefest and most prosaic way。 You
are the first one that has heard it。 It may not seem much to you
and others; but to me it is an awful tragedy; and I sometimes fear
my life may be an eternal condition of suspense and waiting。 You
have been very generous in taking me so fully on trust; but now
you shall know all。 I am the only daughter of a poor; unworldly
New England clergyman。 My mother died before I can remember; and
my father gave to me all the time he could spare from the duties
of a small village parish。 He and the beautiful region in which
we lived were my only teachers。 One June morning Harrold Fleetwood
came to the parsonage with letters of introduction; saying that his
physician had banished him from books and city life; and he asked
if he could be taken as a lodger for a few weeks。 Poor and unworldly
as father was; for my sake he made careful inquiries and learned
that the young man was from one of the best and wealthiest families
of Boston; and bore an unblemished reputation。 Then; since we were
so very poor; he yielded to Mr。 Fleetwood's wishes; hoping thus to
be able to buy some books; he said; on which our minds could live
during the coming winter。
〃To me; Harrold Fleetwood was a very remarkable character。 While
he always treated me with kindness and respect; he did not take
much notice of me at first; and I think he found me very diffident;
to say the least。 But; as he had overtaxed his eyes; I began to
read to him; and then; as we became better acquainted; he resumed
a habit he had; as I soon learned; of speaking in half…soliloquy
concerning the subjects that occupied his mind。 He said that an
invalid sister had indulged him in this habit; and he had tried
to think aloud partly to beguile her weariness。 But to me it was
the revelation of the richest and most versatile mind I have ever
known。 At last I ventured to show my interest and to ask some
questions; and then he gradually became interested in me for some
reason。〃
〃I can understand his reasons;〃 said Van Berg emphatically。
〃He did not know at first how much time father had given me and to
what good uses we had put the books we had。 Well; I must be brief。
Every day brought us nearer together; until it seemed that we shared
our thoughts in common。 I ought not to complain; for perhaps in
few long lives does there come more happiness than was crowded in
those few weeks。 It was the happiness of heavenit was the happiness
of two souls attuned to perfect harmony and ranging together the
richest fields of truth and fancy。 Dear old father was blind to
it all; and I had scarcely thought whither the shining tide was
carrying me until last Tuesday five years ago; Mr。 Fleetwood said
to me; 'Jennie; our souls were mated in heaven; if any ever were;
and I claim you as the fulfillment of what must have been a Divine
purpose。' I found that my heart echoed every word he said。
〃Then he appeared troubled and said that I must give him time to
untangle a snarl into which he had drifted rather than involved
himself。 His family were wealthy and ambitious; and they had
always spoken of his marriage with a cousin who was an heiress;
as a settled thing。 He had never bound himself by word or act;
and often laughingly told his parents that they could not arrange
these matters on strictly business principles; as did aristocrats
abroadthat the young lady herself might have something to say; if
he had not。 But he was wrapt up in his studieshe was preparing
for a literary lifeand events drifted on until he found that every
one of his house hold had set their hearts on this alliance。 All
that he could say against it was that he was indifferent。 The
lady was pretty and tried to make herself agreeable to him; while
he felt that they had little in common; and was also led to believe
that she would good…naturedly leave him to his own pursuits; and
so he entered no protest to the family schemes; but drifted。 That
was the one defect of his character。 He w