the story of an african farm-第42部分
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same thoughts about everything。 How strange！〃
〃Very；〃 said Lyndall； working with her little toe at a stone in the ground
before her。
Gregory felt he must sustain the conversation。 The only thing he could
think of was to recite a piece of poetry。 He knew he had learnt many about
love； but the only thing that would come into his mind now was the 〃Battle
of Hohenlinden；〃 and 〃Not a drum was heard；〃 neither of which seemed to
bear directly on the subject on hand。
But unexpected relief came to him from Doss； who； too deeply lost in
contemplation of his crevice； was surprised by the sudden descent of the
stone Lyndall's foot had loosened； which； rolling against his little front
paw； carried away a piece of white…skin。 Doss stood on three legs； holding
up the paw with an expression of extreme self…commiseration； he then
proceeded to hop slowly upward in search of sympathy。
〃You have hurt that dog；〃 said Gregory。
〃Have I？〃 she replied indifferently； and re…opened the book； as though to
resume her study of the play。
〃He's a nasty； snappish little cur！〃 said Gregory； calculating from her
manner that the remark would be endorsed。 〃He snapped at my horse's tail
yesterday； and nearly made it throw me。 I wonder his master didn't take
him； instead of leaving him here to be a nuisance to all of us！〃
Lyndall seemed absorbed in her play； but he ventured another remark。
〃Do you think now； Miss Lyndall； that he'll ever have anything in the
worldthat German。 I meanmoney enough to support a wife on； and all
that sort of thing？ I don't。 He's what I call soft。〃
She was spreading her skirt out softly with her left hand for the dog to
lie down on it。
〃I think I should be rather astonished if he ever became a respectable
member of society；〃 she said。 I don't expect to see him the possessor of
bank…shares； the chairman of a divisional council； and the father of a
large family； wearing a black hat； and going to church twice on a Sunday。
He would rather astonish me if he came to such an end。〃
〃Yes； I don't expect anything of him either；〃 said Gregory； zealously。
〃Well； I don't know；〃 said Lyndall； 〃there are some small things I rather
look to him for。 If he were to invent wings； or carve a statue that one
might look at for half an hour without wanting to look at something else； I
should not be surprised。 He may do some little thing of that kind perhaps；
when he has done fermenting and the sediment has all gone to the bottom。〃
Gregory felt that what she said was not wholly intended as blame。
〃Well； I don't know；〃 he said sulkily； 〃to me he looks like a fool。 To
walk about always in that dead…and…alive sort of way； muttering to himself
like an old Kaffer witchdoctor！ He works hard enough； but it's always as
though he didn't know what he was doing。 You don't know how he looks to a
person who sees him for the first time。〃
Lyndall was softly touching the little sore foot as she read； and Doss； to
show he liked it； licked her hand。
〃But； Miss Lyndall；〃 persisted Gregory； 〃what do you really think of him？〃
〃I think；〃 said Lyndall； 〃that he is like a thorn…tree； which grows up very
quietly； without any one's caring for it； and one day suddenly breaks out
into yellow blossoms。〃
〃And what do you think I am like？〃 asked Gregory； hopefully。
Lyndall looked up from her book。
〃Like a little tin duck floating on a dish of water； that comes after a
piece of bread stuck on a needle； and the more the needle pricks it the
more it comes on。〃
〃Oh； you are making fun of me now； you really are！〃 said Gregory feeling
wretched。 〃You are making fun； aren't you； now？〃
〃Partly。 It is always diverting to make comparisons。〃
〃Yes； but you don't compare me to anything nice； and you do other people。
What is Em like； now？〃
〃The accompaniment of a song。 She fills up the gaps in other people's
lives； and is always number two； but I think she is like many
accompanimentsa great deal better than the song she is to accompany。〃
〃She is not half so good as you are！〃 said Gregory； with a burst of
uncontrollable ardour。
〃She is so much better than I； that her little finger has more goodness in
it than my whole body。 I hope you may not live to find out the truth of
that fact。〃
〃You are like an angel；〃 he said； the blood rushing to his head and face。
〃Yes； probably； angels are of many orders。〃
〃You are the one being that I love！〃 said Gregory quivering。 〃I thought I
loved before； but I know now！ Do not be angry with me。 I know you could
never like me； but； if I might but always be near you to serve you； I would
be utterly； utterly happy。 I would ask nothing in return！ If you could
only take everything I have and use it； I want nothing but to be of use to
you。〃
She looked at him for a few moments。
〃How do you know；〃 she said slowly； 〃that you could not do something to
serve me？ You could serve me by giving me your name。〃
He started； and turned his burning face to her。
〃You are very cruel； you are ridiculing me；〃 he said。
〃No； I am not； Gregory。 What I am saying is plain； matter…of…fact
business。 If you are willing to give me your name within three weeks'
time； I am willing to marry you； if not； well。 I want nothing more than
your name。 That is a clear proposal； is it not？〃
He looked up。 Was it contempt； loathing； pity； that moved in the eyes
above！ He could not tell； but he stooped over the little foot and kissed
it。
She smiled。
〃Do you really mean it？〃 he whispered。
〃Yes。 You wish to serve me； and to have nothing in return！you shall have
what you wish。〃 She held out her fingers for Doss to lick。 〃Do you see
this dog？ He licks my hand because I love him； and I allow him to。 Where
I do not love I do not allow it。 I believe you love me； I too could love
so； that to lie under the foot of the thing I loved would be more heaven
than to lie in the breast of another。 Come！ let us go。 Carry the dog；〃
she added； 〃he will not bite you if I put him in your arms。 Sodo not let
his foot hang down。〃
They descended the kopje。 At the bottom； he whispered：
〃Would you not take my arm？ the path is very rough。〃
She rested her fingers lightly on it。
〃I may yet change my mind about marrying you before the time comes。 It is
very likely。 Mark you！〃 she said； turning round on him； 〃I remember your
words： You will give everything； and expect nothing。 The knowledge that
you are serving me is to be your reward； and you will have that。 You will
serve me； and greatly。 The reasons I have for marrying you I need not
inform you of now； you will probably discover some of them before long。〃
〃I only want to be of some use to you；〃 he said。
It seemed to Gregory that there were pulses in the soles of his feet； and
the ground shimmered as on a summer's day。 They walked round the foot of
the kopje and past the Kaffer huts。 An old Kaffer maid knelt at the door
of one grinding mealies。 That she should see him walking so made his heart
beat so fast； that the hand on his arm felt its pulsation。 It seemed that
she must envy him。
Just then Em looked out again at the back window and saw them coming。 She
cried bitterly all the while she sorted the skins。
But that night when Lyndall had blown her candle out； and half turned round
to sleep； the door of Em's bedroom opened。
〃I want to say good night to you； Lyndall；〃 she said； coming to the bedside
and kneeling down。
〃I thought you were asleep；〃 Lyndall replied。
〃Yes； I have been asleep； but I had such a vivid dream；〃 she said； holding
the other's hands； 〃and that woke me。 I never had so vivid a dream before。
〃It seemed I was a little girl again； and I came somewhere into a large
room。 On a bed in the corner there was something lying dressed in white；
and its little eyes were shut； and its little face was like wax。 I thought
it was a doll； and I ran forward to take it； but some one held up her
finger and said： 'Hush！ it is a little dead baby。' And I said： 'Oh； I
must go and call Lyndall； that she may look at it also。'
〃And they put their faces close down to my ear and whispered： 'It is
Lyndall's baby。'
〃And I said： 'She cannot be grown up yet； she is only a little girl！
Where is she？' And I went to look for you； but I could not find you。
〃And when I came to some people who were dressed in black； I asked them
where you were； and they looked down at their black clothes； and shook
their heads； and said nothing； and I could not find you anywhere。 And then
I awoke。
〃Lyndall；〃 she said； putting her face down upon the hands she held； 〃it
made me think about that time when we were little girls and used to play
together； when I loved you better than anything else in the world。 It
isn't any one's fault that they love you； they can't help it。 And it isn't
your fault； you don't make them love you。 I know it。〃
〃Thank you； dear；〃 Lyndall said。 〃It is nice to be loved； but it would be
better to be good。〃
Then they wished good night； and Em went back to her room。 Long after
Lyndall lay in the dark thinking； thinking； thinking； and as she turned
round wearily to sleep she muttered：
〃There are some wiser in their sleeping than in their waking。〃
Chapter 2。IX。 Lyndall's Stranger。
A fire is burning in the unused hearth of the cabin。 The fuel blazes up；
and lights the black rafters； and warms the faded red lions on the quilt；
and fills the little room with a glow of warmth and light made brighter by
contrast； for outside the night is chill and misty。
Before the open fireplace sits a stranger； his tall； slight figure reposing
in the broken armchair； his keen blue eyes studying the fire from beneath
delicately pencilled； drooping eyelids。 One white hand plays thoughtfully
