sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第20部分
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inadvertence； or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment？
Are no probabilities to be accepted； merely because they are not
certainties？ Is nothing due to the man whom we have all such
reason to love； and no reason in the world to think ill of？ To the
possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves； though
unavoidably secret for a while？ And； after all； what is it you
suspect him of？”
“I can hardly tell myself。 But suspicion of something unpleasant
is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just
witnessed in him。 There is great truth； however； in what you have
now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him； and
it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body。
Willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his
conduct； and I will hope that he has。 But it would have been more
like Willoughby to acknowledge them at once。 Secrecy may be
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advisable； but still I cannot help wondering at its being practised
by him。”
“Do not blame him； however； for departing from his character；
where the deviation is necessary。 But you really do admit the
justice of what I have said in his defence？—I am happy—and he is
acquitted。”
“Not entirely。 It may be proper to conceal their engagement （if
they are engaged） from Mrs。 Smith—and if that is the case； it must
be highly expedient for Willoughby to be but little in Devonshire at
present。 But this is no excuse for their concealing it from us。”
“Concealing it from us！ my dear child； do you accuse
Willoughby and Marianne of concealment？ This is strange indeed；
when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for
incautiousness。”
“I want no proof of their affection；” said Elinor； “but of their
engagement I do。”
“I am perfectly satisfied of both。”
“Yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject； by either
of them。”
“I have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so
plainly。 Has not his behaviour to Marianne and to all of us； for at
least the last fortnight； declared that he loved and considered her
as his future wife； and that he felt for us the attachment of the
nearest relation？ Have we not perfectly understood each other？
Has not my consent been daily asked by his looks； his manner； his
attentive and affectionate respect？ My Elinor； is it possible to
doubt their engagement？ How could such a thought occur to you？
How is it to be supposed that Willoughby； persuaded as he must
be of your sister’s love； should leave her； and leave her perhaps for
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months； without telling her of his affection；—that they should part
without a mutual exchange of confidence？”
“I confess；” replied Elinor； “that every circumstance except one
is in favour of their engagement； but that one is the total silence of
both on the subject； and with me it almost outweighs every other。”
“How strange this is！ You must think wretchedly indeed of
Willoughby； if； after all that has openly passed between them； you
can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together。 Has
he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time？
Do you suppose him really indifferent to her？”
“No； I cannot think that。 He must and does love her I am sure。”
“But with a strange kind of tenderness； if he can leave her with
such indifference； such carelessness of the future； as you attribute
to him。”
“You must remember； my dear mother； that I have never
considered this matter as certain。 I have had my doubts； I confess；
but they are fainter than they were； and they may soon be entirely
done away。 If we find they correspond； every fear of mine will be
removed。”
“A mighty concession indeed！ If you were to see them at the
altar； you would suppose they were going to be married。
Ungracious girl！ But I require no such proof。 Nothing in my
opinion has ever passed to justify doubt； no secrecy has been
attempted； all has been uniformly open and unreserved。 You
cannot doubt your sister’s wishes。 It must be Willoughby therefore
whom you suspect。 But why？ Is he not a man of honour and
feeling？ Has there been any inconsistency on his side to create
alarm？ can he be deceitful？”
“I hope not； I believe not；” cried Elinor。 “I love Willoughby；
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sincerely love him； and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more
painful to yourself than to me。 It has been involuntary； and I will
not encourage it。 I was startled； I confess； by the alteration in his
manners this morning；—he did not speak like himself； and did not
return your kindness with any cordiality。 But all this may be
explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed。
He had just parted from my sister； had seen her leave him in the
greatest affliction； and if he felt obliged； from a fear of offending
Mrs。 Smith； to resist the temptation of returning here soon； and
yet aware that by declining your invitation； by saying that he was
going away for some time； he should seem to act an ungenerous； a
suspicious part by our family； he might well be embarrassed and
disturbed。 In such a case； a plain and open avowal of his
difficulties would have been more to his honour I think； as well as
more consistent with his general character；—but I will not raise
objections against any one’s conduct on so illiberal a foundation；
as a difference in judgment from myself； or a deviation from what I
may think right and consistent。”
“You speak very properly。 Willoughby certainly does not
deserve to be suspected。 Though we have not known him long； he
is no stranger in this part of the world； and who has ever spoken to
his disadvantage？ Had he been in a situation to act independently
and marry immediately； it might have been odd that he should
leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once： but this
is not the case。 It is an engagement in some respects not
prosperously begun； for their marriage must be at a very
uncertain distance； and even secrecy； as far as it can be observed；
may now be very advisable。”
They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret； and Elinor
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was then at liberty to think over the representations of her
mother； to acknowledge the probability of many； and hope for the
justice of all。
They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner time； when she
entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a
word。 Her eyes were red and swollen； and it seemed as if her tears
were even then restrained with difficulty。 She avoided the looks of
them all； could neither eat nor speak； and after some time； on her
mother’s silently pressing her hand with tender compassion； her
small degree of fortitude was quite overcome； she burst into tears
and left the room。
This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening。
She was without any power； because she was without any desire of
command over herself。 The slightest mention of anything relative
to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant； and though her
family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort； it was
impossible for them； if they spoke at all； to keep clear of every
subject which her feelings connected with him。
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CHAPTER XVI
arianne would have thought herself very inexcusable
had she been able to sleep at all the first night after
M
parting from Willoughby。 She would have been
ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning； had she
not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay
down in it。 But the feelings which made such composure a
disgrace； left her in no danger of incurring it。 She was awake the
whole night； and she wept the greatest part of it。 She got up with a
headache； was unable to talk； and unwilling to take
