sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第48部分
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Marianne awoke the next morning to the same
Fconsciousness of misery in which she had closed her eyes。
Elinor encouraged her as much as possible to talk of what she
felt； and before breakfast was ready； they had gone through the
subject again and again； and with the same steady conviction and
affectionate counsel on Elinor’s side； the same impetuous feelings
and varying opinions on Marianne’s； as before。 Sometimes she
could believe Willoughby to be as unfortunate and as innocent as
herself； and at others； lost every consolation in the impossibility of
acquitting him。 At one moment she was absolutely indifferent to
the observation of all the world； at another she would seclude
herself from it for ever； and at a third could resist it with energy。
In one thing； however； she was uniform； when it came to the point；
in avoiding； where it was possible； the presence of Mrs。 Jennings；
and in a determined silence when obliged to endure it。 Her heart
was hardened against the belief of Mrs。 Jennings’s entering into
her sorrows with any compassion。
“No； no； no； it cannot be；” she cried； “she cannot feel。 Her
kindness is not sympathy； her good…nature is not tenderness。 All
that she wants is gossip； and she only likes me now because I
supply it。”
Elinor had not needed this to be assured of the injustice to
which her sister was often led in her opinion of others； by the
irritable refinement of her own mind； and the too great
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importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility；
and the graces of a polished manner。 Like half the rest of the
world； if more than half there be that are clever and good；
Marianne； with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition； was
neither reasonable nor candid。 She expected from other people
the same opinions and feelings as her own； and she judged of their
motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself。 Thus a
circumstance occurred； while the sisters were together in their
own room after breakfast； which sunk the heart of Mrs。 Jennings
still lower in her estimation； because； through her own weakness；
it chanced to prove a source of fresh pain to herself； though Mrs。
Jennings was governed in it by an impulse of the utmost goodwill。
With a letter in her outstretched hand； and countenance gaily
smiling； from the persuasion of bringing comfort； she entered their
room； saying；
“Now； my dear； I bring you something that I am sure will do
you good。”
Marianne heard enough。 In one moment her imagination
placed before her a letter from Willoughby； full of tenderness and
contrition； explanatory of all that had passed； satisfactory；
convincing； and instantly followed by Willoughby himself； rushing
eagerly into the room to inforce； at her feet； by the eloquence of
his eyes； the assurances of his letter。 The work of one moment was
destroyed by the next。 The hand writing of her mother； never till
then unwelcome； was before her； and； in the acuteness of the
disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than
hope； she felt as if； till that instant； she had never suffered。
The cruelty of Mrs。 Jennings no language； within her reach in
her moments of happiest eloquence； could have expressed； and
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now she could reproach her only by the tears which streamed
from her eyes with passionate violence—a reproach； however； so
entirely lost on its object； that after many expressions of pity； she
withdrew； still referring her to the letter of comfort。 But the letter；
when she was calm enough to read it； brought little comfort。
Willoughby filled every page。 Her mother； still confident of their
engagement； and relying as warmly as ever on his constancy； had
only been roused by Elinor’s application； to intreat from Marianne
greater openness towards them both； and this； with such
tenderness towards her； such affection for Willoughby； and such a
conviction of their future happiness in each other； that she wept
with agony through the whole of it。
All her impatience to be at home again now returned； her
mother was dearer to her than ever； dearer through the very
excess of her mistaken confidence in Willoughby； and she was
wildly urgent to be gone。 Elinor； unable herself to determine
whether it were better for Marianne to be in London or at Barton；
offered no counsel of her own except of patience till their mother’s
wishes could be known； and at length she obtained her sister’s
consent to wait for that knowledge。
Mrs。 Jennings left them earlier than usual； for she could not be
easy till the Middletons and Palmers were able to grieve as much
as herself； and positively refusing Elinor’s offered attendance；
went out alone for the rest of the morning。 Elinor； with a very
heavy heart； aware of the pain she was going to communicate； and
perceiving； by Marianne’s letter； how ill she had succeeded in
laying any foundation for it； then sat down to write her mother an
account of what had passed； and entreat her directions for the
future； while Marianne； who came into the drawing…room on Mrs。
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Jennings’s going away； remained fixed at the table where Elinor
wrote； watching the advancement of her pen； grieving over her for
the hardship of such a task； and grieving still more fondly over its
effect on her mother。
In this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour；
when Marianne； whose nerves could not then bear any sudden
noise； was startled by a rap at the door。
“Who can this be？” cried Elinor。 “So early too！ I thought we had
been safe。”
Marianne moved to the window—
“It is Colonel Brandon！” said she； with vexation。 “We are never
safe from him。”
“He will not come in； as Mrs。 Jennings is from home。”
“I will not trust to that；” retreating to her own room。 “A man
who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his
intrusion on that of others。”
The event proved her conjecture right； though it was founded
on injustice and error； for Colonel Brandon did come in； and
Elinor； who was convinced that solicitude for Marianne brought
him thither； and who saw that solicitude in his disturbed and
melancholy look； and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her；
could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly。
“I met Mrs。 Jennings in Bond…street；” said he； after the first
salutation； “and she encouraged me to come on； and I was the
more easily encouraged； because I thought it probable that I might
find you alone； which I was very desirous of doing。 My object—my
wish—my sole wish in desiring it—I hope； I believe it is—is to be a
means of giving comfort；—no； I must not say comfort—not present
comfort—but conviction； lasting conviction to your sister’s mind。
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My regard for her； for yourself； for your mother—will you allow
me to prove it； by relating some circumstances which nothing but
a very sincere regard—nothing but an earnest desire of being
useful—I think I am justified—though where so many hours have
been spent in convincing myself that I am right； is there not some
reason to fear I may be wrong？” He stopped。
“I understand you；” said Elinor。 “You have something to tell me
of Mr。 Willoughby； that will open his character farther。 Your
telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shewn
Marianne。 My gratitude will be insured immediately by any
information tending to that end； and hers must be gained by it in
time。 Pray； pray let me hear it。”
“You shall； and； to be brief； when I quitted Barton last
October；—but this will give you no idea—I must go farther back。
You will find me a very awkward narrator； Miss Dashwood； I
hardly know where to begin。 A short account of myself； I believe；
will be necessary； and it shall be a short one。 On such a subject；”
sighing heavily； “I can have little temptation to be diffuse。”
