sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第50部分
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Delaford。 I called her a distant relation； but I am well aware that I
have in general been suspected of a much nearer connection with
her。 It is now three years ago （she had just reached her fourteenth
year；） that I removed her from school； to place her under the care
of a very respectable woman； residing in Dorsetshire； who had the
charge of four or five other girls of about the same time of life； and
for two years I had every reason to be pleased with her situation。
But last February； almost a twelvemonth back； she suddenly
disappeared。 I had allowed her； （imprudently； as it has since
turned out；） at her earnest desire； to go to Bath with one of her
young friends； who was attending her father there for his health。 I
knew him to be a very good sort of man； and I thought well of his
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daughter—better than she deserved； for； with a most obstinate
and ill…judged secrecy； she would tell nothing； would give no clue；
though she certainly knew all。 He； her father； a well…meaning； but
not a quick…sighted man； could really； I believe； give no
information； for he had been generally confined to the house；
while the girls were ranging over the town and making what
acquaintance they chose； and he tried to convince me； as
thoroughly as he was convinced himself； of his daughter’s being
entirely unconcerned in the business。 In short； I could learn
nothing but that she was gone； all the rest； for eight long months；
was left to conjecture。 What I thought； what I feared； may be
imagined； and what I suffered too。”
“Good heavens！” cried Elinor； “could it be—could
Willoughby！”—
“The first news that reached me of her；” he continued； “came in
a letter from herself； last October。 It was forwarded to me from
Delaford； and I received it on the very morning of our intended
party to Whitwell； and this was the reason of my leaving Barton so
suddenly； which I am sure must at the time have appeared strange
to every body； and which I believe gave offence to some。 Little did
Mr。 Willoughby imagine； I suppose； when his looks censured me
for incivility in breaking up the party； that I was called away to the
relief of one whom he had made poor and miserable； but had he
known it； what would it have availed？ Would he have been less
gay or less happy in the smiles of your sister？ No； he had already
done that； which no man who can feel for another would do。 He
had left the girl whose youth and innocence he had seduced； in a
situation of the utmost distress； with no creditable home； no help；
no friends； ignorant of his address！ He had left her； promising to
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return； he neither returned； nor wrote； nor relieved her。”
“This is beyond every thing！” exclaimed Elinor。
“His character is now before you； expensive； dissipated； and
worse than both。 Knowing all this； as I have now known it many
weeks； guess what I must have felt on seeing your sister as fond of
him as ever； and on being assured that she was to marry him；
guess what I must have felt for all your sakes。 When I came to you
last week and found you alone； I came determined to know the
truth； though irresolute what to do when it was known。 My
behaviour must have seemed strange to you then； but now you
will comprehend it。 To suffer you all to be so deceived； to see your
sister—but what could I do？ I had no hope of interfering with
success； and sometimes I thought your sister’s influence might yet
reclaim him。 But now； after such dishonourable usage； who can
tell what were his designs on her。 Whatever they may have been；
however； she may now； and hereafter doubtless will turn with
gratitude towards her own condition； when she compares it with
that of my poor Eliza； when she considers the wretched and
hopeless situation of this poor girl； and pictures her to herself；
with an affection for him so strong； still as strong as her own； and
with a mind tormented by self…reproach； which must attend her
through life。 Surely this comparison must have its use with her。
She will feel her own sufferings to be nothing。 They proceed from
no misconduct； and can bring no disgrace。 On the contrary； every
friend must be made still more her friend by them。 Concern for
her unhappiness； and respect for her fortitude under it； must
strengthen every attachment。 Use your own discretion； however；
in communicating to her what I have told you。 You must know
best what will be its effect； but had I not seriously； and from my
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heart believed it might be of service； might lessen her regrets； I
would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of
my family afflictions； with a recital which may seem to have been
intended to raise myself at the expense of others。”
Elinor’s thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness；
attended too with the assurance of her expecting material
advantage to Marianne； from the communication of what had
passed。
“I have been more pained；” said she； “by her endeavours to
acquit him than by all the rest； for it irritates her mind more than
the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do。 Now；
though at first she will suffer much； I am sure she will soon
become easier。 Have you；” she continued； after a short silence；
“ever seen Mr。 Willoughby since you left him at Barton？”
“Yes；” he replied gravely； “once I have。 One meeting was
unavoidable。”
Elinor； startled by his manner； looked at him anxiously； saying；
“What？ have you met him to—”
“I could meet him no other way。 Eliza had confessed to me；
though most reluctantly； the name of her lover； and when he
returned to town； which was within a fortnight after myself； we
met by appointment； he to defend； I to punish his conduct。 We
returned unwounded； and the meeting； therefore； never got
abroad。”
Elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this； but to a man
and a soldier she presumed not to censure it。
“Such；” said Colonel Brandon； after a pause； “has been the
unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter！
and so imperfectly have I discharged my trust！”
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“Is she still in town？”
“No； as soon as she recovered from her lying…in； for I found her
near her delivery； I removed her and her child into the country；
and there she remains。”
Recollecting； soon afterwards； that he was probably dividing
Elinor from her sister； he put an end to his visit； receiving from
her again the same grateful acknowledgments； and leaving her full
of compassion and esteem for him。
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CHAPTER X
hen the particulars of this conversation were repeated
Wby Miss Dashwood to her sister； as they very soon
were； the effect on her was not entirely such as the
former had hoped to see。 Not that Marianne appeared to distrust
the truth of any part of it； for she listened to it all with the most
steady and submissive attention； made neither objection nor
remark； attempted no vindication of Willoughby； and seemed to
shew by her tears that she felt it to be impossible。 But though this
behaviour assured Elinor that the conviction of this guilt was
carried home to her mind； though she saw with satisfaction the
effect of it； in her no longer avoiding Colonel Brandon when he
called； in her speaking to him； even voluntarily speaking； with a
kind of compassionate respect； and though she saw her spirits less
violently irritated than before； she did not see her less wretched。
Her
