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where　the　Duke　of　Marlborough's　victories　were　placed　（for　I

think　they　were　almost　the　only　battles　of　any　eminence　I　had

read　of　which　I　did　not　meet　with）；　when　the　skeleton　of　a

beef…eater；　shaking　his　head；　told　me　a　certain　gentleman；　one

Lewis　XIV；　who　had　great　interest　with　his　most　mortal　majesty；

had　prevented　any　such　from　being　hung　up　there。　　〃Besides；〃　says

he；　〃his　majesty　hath　no　great　respect　for　that　duke；　for　he

never　sent　him　a　subject　he　could　keep　from　him；　nor　did　he　ever

get　a　single　subject　by　his　means　but　he　lost　1000　others　for

him。〃　　We　found　the　presence…chamber　at　our　entrance　very　full；

and　a　buzz　ran　through　it；　as　in　all　assemblies；　before　the

principal　figure　enters；　for　his　majesty　was　not　yet　come　out。　

At　the　bottom　of　the　room　were　two　persons　in　close　conference；

one　with　a　square　black　cap　on　his　head；　and　the　other　with　a

robe　embroidered　with　flames　of　fire。　　These；　I　was　informed；

were　a　judge　long　since　dead；　and　an　inquisitor…general。　　I

overheard　them　disputing　with　great　eagerness　whether　the　one　had

hanged　or　the　other　burned　the　most。　　While　I　was　listening　to

this　dispute；　which　seemed　to　be　in　no　likelihood　of　a　speedy

decision；　the　emperor　entered　the　room　and　placed　himself　between

two　figures；　one　of　which　was　remarkable　for　the　roughness；　and

the　other　for　the　beauty　of　his　appearance。　　These　were；　it

seems；　Charles　XII　of　Sweden　and　Alexander　of　Macedon。　　I　was　at

too　great　a　distance　to　hear　any　of　the　conversation；　so　could

only　satisfy　my　curiosity　by　contemplating　the　several　personages

present；　of　whose　names　I　informed　myself　by　a　page；　who　looked

as　pale　and　meager　as　any　court…page　in　the　other　world；　but　was

somewhat　more　modest。　　He　showed　me　here　two　or　three　Turkish

emperors；　to　whom　his　most　mortal　majesty　seemed　to　express　much

civility。　　Here　were　likewise　several　of　the　Roman　emperors；

among　whom　none　seemed　so　much　caressed　as　Caligula；　on　account；

as　the　page　told　me；　of　his　pious　wish　that　he　could　send　all　the

Romans　hither　at　one　blow。　　The　reader　may　be　perhaps　surprised

that　I　saw　no　physicians　here；　as　indeed　I　was　myself；　till

informed　that　they　were　all　departed　to　the　city　of　Diseases；

where　they　were　busy　in　an　experiment　to　purge　away　the

immortality　of　the　soul。



It　would　be　tedious　to　recollect　the　many　individuals　I　saw　here；

but　I　cannot　omit　a　fat　figure；　well　dressed　in　the　French

fashion；　who　was　received　with　extraordinary　complacence　by　the

emperor；　and　whom　I　imagined　to　be　Lewis　XIV　himself；　but　the

page　acquainted　me　he　was　a　celebrated　French　cook。　　We　were　at

length　introduced　to　the　royal　presence；　and　had　the　honor　to

kiss　hands。　　His　majesty　asked　us　a　few　questions；　not　very

material　to　relate；　and　soon　after　retired。　　When　we　returned

into　the　yard　we　found　our　caravan　ready　to　set　out；　at　which　we

all　declared　ourselves　well　pleased；　for　we　were　sufficiently

tired　with　the　formality　of　a　court；　notwithstanding　its　outward

splendor　and　magnificence。





CHAPTER　V　



The　travelers　proceed　on　their　journey；　and　meet　several　spirits　

who　are　coming　into　the　flesh。



We　now　came　to　the　banks　of　the　great　river　Cocytus；　where　we

quitted　our　vehicle；　and　passed　the　water　in　a　boat；　after　which

we　were　obliged　to　travel　on　foot　the　rest　of　our　journey；　and

now　we　met；　for　the　first　time；　several　passengers　traveling　to

the　world　we　had　left；　who　informed　us　they　were　souls　going　into

the　flesh。



The　two　first　we　met　were　walking　arm…in…arm；　in　very　close　and

friendly　conference；　they　informed　us　that　one　of　them　was

intended　for　a　duke；　and　the　other　for　a　hackney…coachman。　　As　we

had　not　yet　arrived　at　the　place　where　we　were　to　deposit　our

passions；　we　were　all　surprised　at　the　familiarity　which

subsisted　between　persons　of　such　different　degrees；　nor　could

the　grave　lady　help　expressing　her　astonishment　at　it。　　The

future　coachman　then　replied；　with　a　laugh；　that　they　had

exchanged　lots；　for　that　the　duke　had　with　his　dukedom　drawn　a

shrew　for　a　wife；　and　the　coachman　only　a　single　state。



As　we　proceeded　on　our　journey　we　met　a　solemn　spirit　walking

alone　with　great　gravity　in　his　countenance：　　our　curiosity

invited　us；　notwithstanding　his　reserve；　to　ask　what　lot　he　had

drawn。



He　answered；　with　a　smile；　he　was　to　have　the　reputation　of　a

wise　man　with　L100；000　in　his　pocket；　and　was　practicing　the

solemnity　which　he　was　to　act　in　the　other　world。　　A　little

farther　we　met　a　company　of　very　merry　spirits；　whom　we　imagined

by　their　mirth　to　have　drawn　some　mighty　lot；　but；　on　inquiry；

they　informed　us　they　were　to　be　beggars。



The　farther　we　advanced；　the　greater　numbers　we　met；　and　now　we

discovered　two　large　roads　leading　different　ways；　and　of　very

different　appearance；　the　one　all　craggy　with　rocks；　full　as　it

seemed　of　boggy　grounds；　and　everywhere　beset　with　briars；　so

that　it　was　impossible　to　pass　through　it　without　the　utmost

danger　and　difficulty；　the　other；　the　most　delightful　imaginable；

leading　through　the　most　verdant　meadows；　painted　and　perfumed

with　all　kinds　of　beautiful　flowers；　in　short；　the　most　wanton

imagination　could　imagine　nothing　more　lovely。　　Notwithstanding

which；　we　were　surprised　to　see　great　numbers　crowding　into　the

former；　and　only　one　or　two　solitary　spirits　choosing　the　latter。



On　inquiry；　we　were　acquainted　that　the　bad　road　was　the　way　to

greatness；　and　the　other　to　goodness。　　When　we　expressed　our

surprise　at　the　preference　given　to　the　former　we　were　acquainted

that　it　was　chosen　for　the　sake　of　the　music　of　drums　and

trumpets；　and　the　perpetual　acclamations　of　the　mob；　with　which

those　who　traveled　this　way　were　constantly　saluted。　　We　were

told　likewise　that　there　were　several　noble　palaces　to　be　seen；

and　lodged　in；　on　this　road；　by　those　who　had　passed　through　the

difficulties　of　it　（which　indeed　many　were　not　able　to　surmount）；

and　great　quantities　of　all　sorts　of　treasure　to　be　found　in　it；

whereas　the　other　had　little　inviting　more　than　the　beauty　of　the

way；　scarce　a　handsome　building；　save　one　greatly　resembling　a

certain　house　by　the　Bath；　to　be　seen　during　that　whole　journey；

and；　lastly；　that　it　was　thought　very　scandalous　and

mean…spirited　to　travel　through　this；　and　as　highly　honorable　and

noble　to　pass　by　the　other。　　We　now　heard　a　violent　noise；　when；

casting　our　eyes　forwards；　we　perceived　a　vast　number　of　spirits

advancing　in　pursuit　of　one　whom　they　mocked　and　insulted　with

all　kinds　of　scorn。　　I　cannot　give　my　reader　a　more　adequate　idea

of　this　scene　than　by　comparing　it　to　an　English　mob　conducting　a

pickpocket　to　the　water；　or　by　supposing　that　an　incensed

audience　at　a　playhouse　had　unhappily　possessed　themselves　of　the

miserable　damned　poet。　　Some　laughed；　some　hissed；　some　squalled；

some　groaned；　some　bawled；　some　spit　at　him；　some　threw　dirt　at

him。　　It　was　impossible　not　to　ask　who　or　what　the　wretched

spirit　was　whom　they　treated　in　this　barbarous　manner；　when；　to

our　great　surprise；　we　were　informed　that　it　was　a　king：　　we　were

likewise　told　that　this　manner　of　behavior　was　usual　among　the

spirits　to　those　who　drew　the　lots　of　emperors；　kings；　and　other

great　men；　not　from　envy　or　anger；　but　mere　derision　and　contempt

of　earthly　grandeur；　that　nothing　was　more　common　than　for　those

who　had　drawn　these　great　prizes　（as　to　us　they　seemed）　to

exchange　them　with　tailors　and　cobblers；　and　that　Alexander　the

Great　and　Diogenes　had　formerly　done　so；　he　that　was　afterwards

Diogenes　having　originally　fallen　on　the　lot　of　Alexander。　　And

now；　on　a　sudden；　the　mockery　ceased；　and　the　king…spirit；　having

obtained　a　hearing；　began　to　speak　as　follows；　for　we　were　now

near　enough　to　hear　him　distinctly：



〃GENTLEMEN；I　am　justly　surprised　at　your　treating　me　in　this

manner；　since　whatever　lot　I　have　drawn；　I　did　not　choose：　　if；

therefore；　it　be　worthy　of　derision；　you　should　compassionate　me；

for　it　might　have　fallen　to　any　of　your　shares。　　I　know　in　how

low　a　light　the　station　to　which　fate　hath　assigned　me　is

considered　here；　and　that；　when　ambition　doth　not　support　it；　it

becomes　generally　so　intolerable；　that　there　is　scarce　any　other

condition　for　which　it　is　not　gladly　exchanged：　　for　what

portion；　in　the　world　to　which　we　are　going；　is　so　miserable　as

that　of　care？　　Should　I　therefore　consider　myself　as　become　by

this　lot　essentially　your　superior；　and　of　a　higher　order　of

being　than　the　rest　of　my　fellow…creatures；　should　I　foolishly

imagine　myself　without　wisdom　superior　to　the　wise；　without

knowledge　to　the　learned；　without　courage　to　the　brave；　and

without　goodness　and　virtue　to　the　good　and　virtuous；　surely　so

preposterous；　so　absurd　a　pride；　would　justly　render　me　the

object　of　ridicule。　　But　far　be　it　from　me　to　entertain　it。　　And

yet；　gentlemen；　I　prize　the　lot　I　have　drawn；　nor　would　I

exchange　it　with　any　of　yours；　seeing　it　is　in　my　eye　so　much

greater　than　the　rest。　　Ambition；　which　I　own　myself　possessed

of；　teaches　me　this；　ambition；　which　makes　me　covet　praise；

assures　me　that　I　shall　enjoy　a　much　larger　proportion　of　it　than

can　fall　within　your　power　either　to　deserve　or　obtain。　　I　am

then　superior　to　you　all；　when　I　am　able　to　do　more　good；　and

when　I　execute　that　power。　　What　the　father　is　to　the　son；　the

guardian　to　the　orphan；　or　the　patron　to　his　client；　that　am　I　to

you。　　You　are　my　children；　to　whom　I　will　be　a　father；　a

guardian；　and　a　patron。　　Not　one　evening　in　my　long　reign　（for　so

it　is　to　be）　will　I　repose　myself　to　rest　without　the　glorious；

the　heart…warming　consideration；　that　thousands　that　night　owe

their　sweetest　rest　to　me。　　What　a　delicious　fortune　is　it　to　him

whose　strongest　appetite　is　doing　good；　to　have　every　day　the

opportunity　and　the　power　of　satisfying　it！　　If　such　a　man　hath

ambition；　how　happy　is　it　for　him　to　be　seated　so　on　high；