the new machiavelli-第34部分

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1





I　was　twenty…seven　when　I　met　Margaret　again；　and　the　intervening　

five　years　had　been　years　of　vigorous　activity　for　me；　if　not　of　

very　remarkable　growth。　　When　I　saw　her　again；　I　could　count　myself　

a　grown　man。　　I　think；　indeed；　I　counted　myself　more　completely　

grown　than　I　was。　　At　any　rate；　by　all　ordinary　standards；　I　had　

〃got　on〃　very　well；　and　my　ideas；　if　they　had　not　changed　very　

greatly；　had　become　much　more　definite　and　my　ambitions　clearer　and　

bolder。



I　had　long　since　abandoned　my　fellowship　and　come　to　London。　　I　had　

published　two　books　that　had　been　talked　about；　written　several　

articles；　and　established　a　regular　relationship　with　the　WEEKLY　

REVIEW　and　the　EVENING　GAZETTE。　　I　was　a　member　of　the　Eighty　Club　

and　learning　to　adapt　the　style　of　the　Cambridge　Union　to　larger　

uses。　　The　London　world　had　opened　out　to　me　very　readily。　　I　had　

developed　a　pleasant　variety　of　social　connections。　　I　had　made　the　

acquaintance　of　Mr。　Evesham；　who　had　been　attracted　by　my　NEW　RULER；　

and　who　talked　about　it　and　me；　and　so　did　a　very　great　deal　to　make　

a　way　for　me　into　the　company　of　prominent　and　amusing　people。　　I　

dined　out　quite　frequently。　　The　glitter　and　interest　of　good　London　

dinner　parties　became　a　common　experience。　　I　liked　the　sort　of　

conversation　one　got　at　them　extremely；　the　little　glow　of　duologues　

burning　up　into　more　general　discussions；　the　closing…in　of　the　men　

after　the　going　of　the　women；　the　sage；　substantial　masculine　

gossiping；　the　later　resumption　of　effective　talk　with　some　pleasant　

woman；　graciously　at　her　best。　　I　had　a　wide　range　of　houses；　

Cambridge　had　linked　me　to　one　or　two　correlated　sets　of　artistic　

and　literary　people；　and　my　books　and　Mr。　Evesham　and　opened　to　me　

the　big　vague　world　of　〃society。〃　　I　wasn't　aggressive　nor　

particularly　snobbish　nor　troublesome；　sometimes　I　talked　well；　and　

if　I　had　nothing　interesting　to　say　I　said　as　little　as　possible；　

and　I　had　a　youthful　gravity　of　manner　that　was　liked　by　hostesses。　　

And　the　other　side　of　my　nature　that　first　flared　through　the　cover　

of　restraints　at　Locarno；　that　too　had　had　opportunity　to　develop　

along　the　line　London　renders　practicable。　　I　had　had　my　experiences　

and　secrets　and　adventures　among　that　fringe　of　ill…mated　or　erratic　

or　discredited　women　the　London　world　possesses。　　The　thing　had　long　

ago　ceased　to　be　a　matter　of　magic　or　mystery；　and　had　become　a　

question　of　appetites　and　excitement；　and　among　other　things　the　

excitement　of　not　being　found　out。



I　write　rather　doubtfully　of　my　growing　during　this　period。　　Indeed　

I　find　it　hard　to　judge　whether　I　can　say　that　I　grew　at　all　in　any　

real　sense　of　the　word；　between　three　and　twenty　and　twenty…seven。　　

It　seems　to　me　now　to　have　been　rather　a　phase　of　realisation　and　

clarification。　　All　the　broad　lines　of　my　thought　were　laid　down；　I　

am　sure；　by　the　date　of　my　Locarno　adventure；　but　in　those　five　

years　I　discussed　things　over　and　over　again　with　myself　and　others；　

filled　out　with　concrete　fact　forms　I　had　at　first　apprehended　

sketchily　and　conversationally；　measured　my　powers　against　my　ideals　

and　the　forces　in　the　world　about　me。　　It　was　evident　that　many　men　

no　better　than　myself　and　with　no　greater　advantages　than　mine　had　

raised　themselves　to　influential　and　even　decisive　positions　in　the　

worlds　of　politics　and　thought。　　I　was　gathering　the　confidence　and　

knowledge　necessary　to　attack　the　world　in　the　large　manner；　I　found　

I　could　write；　and　that　people　would　let　me　write　if　I　chose；　as　one　

having　authority　and　not　as　the　scribes。　　Socially　and　politically　

and　intellectually　I　knew　myself　for　an　honest　man；　and　that　quite　

without　any　deliberation　on　my　part　this　showed　and　made　things　easy　

for　me。　　People　trusted　my　good　faith　from　the　beginningfor　all　

that　I　came　from　nowhere　and　had　no　better　position　than　any　

adventurer。



But　the　growth　process　was　arrested；　I　was　nothing　bigger　at　twenty…

seven　than　at　twenty…two；　however　much　saner　and　stronger；　and　any　

one　looking　closely　into　my　mind　during　that　period　might　well　have　

imagined　growth　finished　altogether。　　It　is　particularly　evident　to　

me　now　that　I　came　no　nearer　to　any　understanding　of　women　during　

that　time。　　That　Locarno　affair　was　infinitely　more　to　me　than　I　had　

supposed。　　It　ended　somethingnipped　something　in　the　bud　perhaps

took　me　at　a　stride　from　a　vague；　fine；　ignorant；　closed　world　of　

emotion　to　intrigue　and　a　perfectly　definite　and　limited　sensuality。　　

It　ended　my　youth；　and　for　a　time　it　prevented　my　manhood。　　I　had　

never　yet　even　peeped　at　the　sweetest；　profoundest　thing　in　the　

world；　the　heart　and　meaning　of　a　girl；　or　dreamt　with　any　quality　

of　reality　of　a　wife　or　any　such　thing　as　a　friend　among　womanhood。　　

My　vague　anticipation　of　such　things　in　life　had　vanished　

altogether。　　I　turned　away　from　their　possibility。　　It　seemed　to　me　

I　knew　what　had　to　be　known　about　womankind。　　I　wanted　to　work　hard；　

to　get　on　to　a　position　in　which　I　could　develop　and　forward　my　

constructive　projects。　　Women；　I　thought；　had　nothing　to　do　with　

that。　　It　seemed　clear　I　could　not　marry　for　some　years；　I　was　

attractive　to　certain　types　of　women；　I　had　vanity　enough　to　give　me　

an　agreeable　confidence　in　love…making；　and　I　went　about　seeking　a　

convenient　mistress　quite　deliberately；　some　one　who　should　serve　my　

purpose　and　say　in　the　end；　like　that　kindly　first　mistress　of　mine；　

〃I've　done　you　no　harm；〃　and　so　release　me。　　It　seemed　the　only　wise　

way　of　disposing　of　urgencies　that　might　otherwise　entangle　and　

wreck　the　career　I　was　intent　upon。



I　don't　apologise　for；　or　defend　my　mental　and　moral　phases。　　So　it　

was　I　appraised　life　and　prepared　to　take　it；　and　so　it　is　a　

thousand　ambitious　men　see　it　to…day。　。　。　。



For　the　rest　these　five　years　were　a　period　of　definition。　　My　

political　conceptions　were　perfectly　plain　and　honest。　　I　had　one　

constant　desire　ruling　my　thoughts。　　I　meant　to　leave　England　and　

the　empire　better　ordered　than　I　found　it；　to　organise　and　

discipline；　to　build　up　a　constructive　and　controlling　State　out　of　

my　world's　confusions。　　We　had；　I　saw；　to　suffuse　education　with　

public　intention；　to　develop　a　new　better…living　generation　with　a　

collectivist　habit　of　thought；　to　link　now　chaotic　activities　in　

every　human　affair；　and　particularly　to　catch　that　escaped；　world…

making；　world…ruining；　dangerous　thing；　industrial　and　financial　

enterprise；　and　bring　it　back　to　the　service　of　the　general　good。　　I　

had　then　the　precise　image　that　still　serves　me　as　a　symbol　for　all　

I　wish　to　bring　about；　the　image　of　an　engineer　building　a　lock　in　a　

swelling　torrentwith　water　pressure　as　his　only　source　of　power。　　

My　thoughts　and　acts　were　habitually　turned　to　that　enterprise；　it　

gave　shape　and　direction　to　all　my　life。　　The　problem　that　most　

engaged　my　mind　during　those　years　was　the　practical　and　personal　

problem　of　just　where　to　apply　myself　to　serve　this　almost　innate　

purpose。　　How　was　I；　a　child　of　this　confusion；　struggling　upward　

through　the　confusion；　to　take　hold　of　things？　　　Somewhere　between　

politics　and　literature　my　grip　must　needs　be　found；　but　where？　　

Always　I　seem　to　have　been　looking　for　that　in　those　opening　years；　

and　disregarding　everything　else　to　discover　it。







2





The　Baileys；　under　whose　auspices　I　met　Margaret　again；　were　in　the　

sharpest　contrast　with　the　narrow　industrialism　of　the　Staffordshire　

world。　　They　were　indeed　at　the　other　extreme　of　the　scale；　two　

active　self…centred　people；　excessively　devoted　to　the　public　

service。　　It　was　natural　I　should　gravitate　to　them；　for　they　seemed　

to　stand　for　the　maturer；　more　disciplined；　better　informed　

expression　of　all　I　was　then　urgent　to　attempt　to　do。　　The　bulk　of　

their　friends　were　politicians　or　public　officials；　they　described　

themselves　as　publicistsa　vague　yet　sufficiently　significant　term。　　

They　lived　and　worked　in　a　hard　little　house　in　Chambers　Street；　

Westminster；　and　made　a　centre　for　quite　an　astonishing　amount　of　

political　and　social　activity。



Willersley　took　me　there　one　evening。　　The　place　was　almost　


pretentiously　matter…of…fact　and　unassuming。　　The　narrow　passage…

hall；　papered　with　some　ancient　yellowish　paper；　grained　to　imitate　

wood；　was　choked　with　hats　and　cloaks　and　an　occasional　feminine　

wrap。　　Motioned　rather　than　announced　by　a　tall　Scotch　servant　

woman；　the　only　domestic　I　ever　remember　seeing　there；　we　made　our　

way　up　a　narrow　staircase　past　the　open　door　of　a　small　study　packed　

with　blue…books；　to　discover　Altiora　Bailey　receiving　before　the　

fireplace　in　her　drawing…room。　　　She　was　a　tall　commanding　figure；　

splendid　but　a　little　untidy　in　black　silk　and　red　beads；　with　dark　

eyes　that　had　no　depths；　with　a　clear　hard　voice　that　had　an　almost　

visible　prominence；　aquiline　features　and　straight　black　hair　that　

was　apt　to　get　astray；　that　was　now　astray　like　the　head　feathers　of　

an　eagle　in　a　gale。　　She　stood　with　her　hands　behind　her　back；　and　

talked　in　a　high　tenor　of　a　projected　Town　Planning　Bill　with　Blupp；　

who　was　practically　in　those　days　the　secretary　of　the　local　

Government　Board。　　A　very　short　broad　man　with　thick　ears　and　fat　

white　hands　writhing　intertwined　behind　him；　stood　with　his　back　to　

us；　eager　to　bark　interruptions　into　Altiora's　discourse。　　A　slender　

girl　in　pale　blue；　manifestly　a　young　political　wife；　stood　with　one　

foot　on　the　fender　listening　with　an　expression　of　entirely　puzzled　

propitiation。　　A　tall　sandy…bearded　bishop　with　the　expression　of　a　

man　in　a　trance　completed　this　central　group。



The　room　was　one　of　those　long　apartments　once　divided　by　folding　

doors；　and　reaching　from　back　to　front；　that　are　common　upon　the　

first　floors　of　London　houses。　　Its　walls　were　hung　with　two