the new machiavelli-第43部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



had　a　house　before；　but　I　had　really　never　been；　except　in　the　most　

transitory　way；　in　any　house　that　was　nearly　so　delightful　as　mine　

promised　to　be。　　Everything　was　fresh　and　bright；　and　softly　and　

harmoniously　toned。　　Downstairs　we　had　a　green　dining…room　with　

gleaming　silver；　dark　oak；　and　English　colour…prints；　above　was　a　

large　drawing…room　that　could　be　made　still　larger　by　throwing　open　

folding　doors；　and　it　was　all　carefully　done　in　greys　and　blues；　for　

the　most　part　with　real　Sheraton　supplemented　by　Sheraton　so　

skilfully　imitated　by　an　expert　Margaret　had　discovered　as　to　be　

indistinguishable　except　to　a　minute　scrutiny。　　And　for　me；　above　

this　and　next　to　my　bedroom；　there　was　a　roomy　study；　with　specially　

thick　stair…carpet　outside　and　thick　carpets　in　the　bedroom　overhead　

and　a　big　old　desk　for　me　to　sit　at　and　work　between　fire　and　

window；　and　another　desk　specially　made　for　me　by　that　expert　if　I　

chose　to　stand　and　write；　and　open　bookshelves　and　bookcases　and　

every　sort　of　convenient　fitting。　　There　were　electric　heaters　

beside　the　open　fire；　and　everything　was　put　for　me　to　make　tea　at　

any　timeelectric　kettle；　infuser；　biscuits　and　fresh　butter；　so　

that　I　could　get　up　and　work　at　any　hour　of　the　day　or　night。　　I　

could　do　no　work　in　this　apartment　for　a　long　time；　I　was　so　

interested　in　the　perfection　of　its　arrangements。　　And　when　I　

brought　in　my　books　and　papers　from　Vincent　Square；　Margaret　seized　

upon　all　the　really　shabby　volumes　and　had　them　re…bound　in　a　fine　

official…looking　leather。



I　can　remember　sitting　down　at　that　desk　and　looking　round　me　and　

feeling　with　a　queer　effect　of　surprise　that　after　all　even　a　place　

in　the　Cabinet；　though　infinitely　remote；　was　nevertheless　in　the　

same　large　world　with　these　fine　and　quietly　expensive　things。



On　the　same　floor　Margaret　had　a　〃den；〃　a　very　neat　and　pretty　den　

with　good　colour…prints　of　Botticellis　and　Carpaccios；　and　there　was　

a　third　apartment　for　sectarial　purposes　should　the　necessity　for　

them　arise；　with　a　severe…looking　desk　equipped　with　patent　files。　　

And　Margaret　would　come　flitting　into　the　room　to　me；　or　appear　

noiselessly　standing；　a　tall　gracefully　drooping　form；　in　the　wide　

open　doorway。　　〃Is　everything　right；　dear？〃　she　would　ask。



〃Come　in；〃　I　would　say；　〃I'm　sorting　out　papers。〃



She　would　come　to　the　hearthrug。



〃I　mustn't　disturb　you；〃　she　would　remark。



〃I'm　not　busy　yet。〃



〃Things　are　getting　into　order。　　Then　we　must　make　out　a　time…table　

as　the　Baileys　do；　and　BEGIN！〃



Altiora　came　in　to　see　us　once　or　twice；　and　a　number　of　serious　

young　wives　known　to　Altiora　called　and　were　shown　over　the　house；　

and　discussed　its　arrangements　with　Margaret。　　They　were　all　

tremendously　keen　on　efficient　arrangements。



〃A　little　pretty；〃　said　Altiora；　with　the　faintest　disapproval；　

〃still〃



It　was　clear　she　thought　we　should　grow　out　of　that。　　From　the　day　

of　our　return　we　found　other　people's　houses　open　to　us　and　eager　

for　us。　　We　went　out　of　London　for　week…ends　and　dined　out；　and　

began　discussing　our　projects　for　reciprocating　these　hospitalities。　　

As　a　single　man　unattached；　I　had　had　a　wide　and　miscellaneous　

social　range；　but　now　I　found　myself　falling　into　place　in　a　set。　　

For　a　time　I　acquiesced　in　this。　　I　went　very　little　to　my　clubs；　

the　Climax　and　the　National　Liberal；　and　participated　in　no　bachelor　

dinners　at　all。　　For　a　time；　too；　I　dropped　out　of　the　garrulous　

literary　and　journalistic　circles　I　had　frequented。　　I　put　up　for　

the　Reform；　not　so　much　for　the　use　of　the　club　as　a　sign　of　serious　

and　substantial　political　standing。　　I　didn't　go　up　to　Cambridge；　I　

remember；　for　nearly　a　year；　so　occupied　was　I　with　my　new　

adjustments。



The　people　we　found　ourselves　among　at　this　time　were　people；　to　put　

it　roughly；　of　the　Parliamentary　candidate　class；　or　people　already　

actually　placed　in　the　political　world。　　They　ranged　between　very　

considerable　wealth　and　such　a　hard；　bare　independence　as　old　

Willersley　and　the　sister　who　kept　house　for　him　possessed。　　There　

were　quite　a　number　of　young　couples　like　ourselves；　a　little　

younger　and　more　artless；　or　a　little　older　and　more　established。　　

Among　the　younger　men　I　had　a　sort　of　distinction　because　of　my　

Cambridge　reputation　and　my　writing；　and　because；　unlike　them；　I　was　

an　adventurer　and　had　won　and　married　my　way　into　their　circles　

instead　of　being　naturally　there。　　They　couldn't　quite　reckon　upon　

what　I　should　do；　they　felt　I　had　reserves　of　experience　and　

incalculable　traditions。　　Close　to　us　were　the　Cramptons；　Willie　

Crampton；　who　has　since　been　Postmaster…General；　rich　and　very　

important　in　Rockshire；　and　his　younger　brother　Edward；　who　has　

specialised　in　history　and　become　one　of　those　unimaginative　men　of　

letters　who　are　the　glory　of　latter…day　England。　　Then　there　was　

Lewis；　further　towards　Kensington；　where　his　cousins　the　Solomons　

and　the　Hartsteins　lived；　a　brilliant　representative　of　his　race；　

able；　industrious　and　invariably　uninspired；　with　a　wife　a　little　in　

revolt　against　the　racial　tradition　of　feminine　servitude　and　

inclined　to　the　suffragette　point　of　view；　and　Bunting　Harblow；　an　

old　blue；　and　with　an　erratic　disposition　well　under　the　control　of　

the　able　little　cousin　he　had　married。　　I　had　known　all　these　men；　

but　now　（with　Altiora　floating　angelically　in　benediction）　they　

opened　their　hearts　to　me　and　took　me　into　their　order。　　They　were　

all　like　myself；　prospective　Liberal　candidates；　with　a　feeling　that　

the　period　of　wandering　in　the　wilderness　of　opposition　was　drawing　

near　its　close。　　They　were　all　tremendously　keen　upon　social　and　

political　service；　and　all　greatly　under　the　sway　of　the　ideal　of　a　

simple；　strenuous　life；　a　life　finding　its　satisfactions　in　

political　achievements　and　distinctions。　　The　young　wives　were　as　

keen　about　it　as　the　young　husbands；　Margaret　most　of　all；　and　I

whatever　elements　in　me　didn't　march　with　the　attitudes　and　habits　

of　this　set　were　very　much　in　the　background　during　that　time。



We　would　give　little　dinners　and　have　evening　gatherings　at　which　

everything　was　very　simple　and　very　good；　with　a　slight　but　

perceptible　austerity；　and　there　was　more　good　fruit　and　flowers　and　

less　perhaps　in　the　way　of　savouries；　patties　and　entrees　than　was　

customary。　　Sherry　we　banished；　and　Marsala　and　liqueurs；　and　there　

was　always　good　home…made　lemonade　available。　　No　men　waited；　but　

very　expert　parlourmaids。　　Our　meat　was　usually　Welsh　muttonI　

don't　know　why；　unless　that　mountains　have　ever　been　the　last　refuge　

of　the　severer　virtues。　　And　we　talked　politics　and　books　and　ideas　

and　Bernard　Shaw　（who　was　a　department　by　himself　and　supposed　in　

those　days　to　be　ethically　sound　at　bottom）；　and　mingled　with　the　

intellectualsI　myself　was；　as　it　were；　a　promoted　intellectual。



The　Cramptons　had　a　tendency　to　read　good　things　aloud　on　their　less　

frequented　receptions；　but　I　have　never　been　able　to　participate　

submissively　in　this　hyper…digestion　of　written　matter；　and　

generally　managed　to　provoke　a　disruptive　debate。　　We　were　all　very　

earnest　to　make　the　most　of　ourselves　and　to　be　and　do；　and　I　wonder　

still　at　times；　with　an　unassuaged　perplexity；　how　it　is　that　in　

that　phase　of　utmost　earnestness　I　have　always　seemed　to　myself　to　

be　most　remote　from　reality。







2





I　look　back　now　across　the　detaching　intervention　of　sixteen　crowded　

years；　critically　and　I　fancy　almost　impartially；　to　those　

beginnings　of　my　married　life。　　I　try　to　recall　something　near　to　

their　proper　order　the　developing　phases　of　relationship。　　I　am　

struck　most　of　all　by　the　immense　unpremeditated；　generous…spirited　

insincerities　upon　which　Margaret　and　I　were　building。



It　seems　to　me　that　here　I　have　to　tell　perhaps　the　commonest　

experience　of　all　among　married　educated　people；　the　deliberate；　

shy；　complex　effort　to　fill　the　yawning　gaps　in　temperament　as　they　

appear；　the　sustained；　failing　attempt　to　bridge　abysses；　level　

barriers；　evade　violent　pressures。　　I　have　come　these　latter　years　

of　my　life　to　believe　that　it　is　possible　for　a　man　and　woman　to　be　

absolutely　real　with　one　another；　to　stand　naked　souled　to　each　

other；　unashamed　and　unafraid；　because　of　the　natural　all…glorifying　

love　between　them。　　It　is　possible　to　love　and　be　loved　untroubling；　

as　a　bird　flies　through　the　air。　　But　it　is　a　rare　and　intricate　

chance　that　brings　two　people　within　sight　of　that　essential　union；　

and　for　the　majority　marriage　must　adjust　itself　on　other　terms。　　

Most　coupled　people　never　really　look　at　one　another。　　They　look　a　

little　away　to　preconceived　ideas。　　And　each　from　the　first　days　of　

love…making　HIDES　from　the　other；　is　afraid　of　disappointing；　afraid　

of　offending；　afraid　of　discoveries　in　either　sense。　　They　build　not　

solidly　upon　the　rock　of　truth；　but　upon　arches　and　pillars　and　

queer　provisional　supports　that　are　needed　to　make　a　common　

foundation；　and　below　in　the　imprisoned　darknesses；　below　the　fine　

fabric　they　sustain　together　begins　for　each　of　them　a　cavernous　

hidden　life。　　Down　there　things　may　be　prowling　that　scarce　ever　

peep　out　to　consciousness　except　in　the　grey　half…light　of　sleepless　

nights；　passions　that　flash　out　for　an　instant　in　an　angry　glance　

and　are　seen　no　more；　starved　victims　and　beautiful　dreams　bricked　

up　to　die。　　For　the　most　of　us　there　is　no　jail　delivery　of　those　

inner　depths；　and　the　life　above　goes　on　to　its　honourable　end。



I　have　told　how　I　loved　Margaret　and　how　I　came　to　marry　her。　　

Perhaps　already　unintentionally　I　have　indicated　the　quality　of　the　

injustice　our　marriage　did　us　both。　　There　was　no　kindred　between　us　

and　no　understanding。　　We　were　drawn　to　one　another　by　the　

unlikeness　of　our　quality；　by　the　th