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are states of mind in which a contact of this kind has a depressing

effect on the vital powers that makes us insensible to all the

virtues and graces of the proprietor of one of these life…absorbing

organs。  When they touch us; virtue passes out of us; and we feel as

if our electricity had been drained by a powerful negative battery;

carried about by an overgrown human torpedo。



〃The Model of all the Virtues〃 had a pair of searching eyes as clear

as Wenham ice; but they were slower to melt than that fickle jewelry。

Her features disordered themselves slightly at times in a surface…

smile; but never broke loose from their corners and indulged in the

riotous tumult of a laugh;which; I take it; is the mob…law of the

features;and propriety the magistrate who reads the riot…act。  She

carried the brimming cup of her inestimable virtues with a cautious;

steady hand; and an eye always on them; to see that they did not

spill。  Then she was an admirable judge of character。  Her mind was a

perfect laboratory of tests and reagents; every syllable you put into

breath went into her intellectual eudiometer; and all your thoughts

were recorded on litmus…paper。  I think there has rarely been a more

admirable woman。  Of course; Miss Iris was immensely and passionately

attached to her。 Well;these are two highly oxygenated adverbs;

grateful;suppose we say;yes;grateful; dutiful; obedient to her

wishes for the most part;perhaps not quite up to the concert pitch

of such a perfect orchestra of the virtues。



We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it

much。  People that do not laugh or cry; or take more of anything than

is good for them; or use anything but dictionary…words; are admirable

subjects for biographies。  But we don't always care most for those

flat…pattern flowers that press best in the herbarium。



This immaculate woman;why could n't she have a fault or two?

Is n't there any old whisper which will tarnish that wearisome

aureole of saintly perfection?  Does n't she carry a lump of opium in

her pocket?  Is n't her cologne…bottle replenished oftener than its

legitimate use would require?  It would be such a comfort!



Not for the world would a young creature like Iris have let such

words escape her; or such thoughts pass through her mind。  Whether at

the bottom of her soul lies any uneasy consciousness of an oppressive

presence; it is hard to say; until we know more about her。  Iris sits

between the Little Gentleman and the 〃Model of all the Virtues;〃 as

the black…coated personage called her。 I will watch them all。



Here I stop for the present。  What the Professor said has had to

make way this time for what he saw and heard。



…And now you may read these lines; which were written for gentle

souls who love music; and read in even tones; and; perhaps; with

something like a smile upon the reader's lips; at a meeting where

these musical friends had gathered。  Whether they were written with

smiles or not; you can guess better after you have read them。





               THE OPENING OF THE PIANO。



In the little southern parlor of the house you may have seen

With the gambrel…roof; and the gable looking westward to the green;

At the side toward the sunset; with the window on its right;

Stood the London…made piano I am dreaming of to…night。



Ah me! how I remember the evening when it came!

What a cry of eager voices; what a group of cheeks in flame;

When the wondrous boa was opened that had come from over seas;

With its smell of mastic…varnish and its flash of ivory keys!



Then the children all grew fretful in the restlessness of joy;

For the boy would push his sister; and the sister crowd the boy;

Till the father asked for quiet in his grave paternal way;

But the mother hushed the tumult with the words; 〃Now; Mary; play。〃



For the dear soul knew that music was a very sovereign balm;

She had sprinkled it over Sorrow and seen its brow grow calm;

In the days of slender harpsichords with tapping tinkling quills;

Or caroling to her spinet with its thin metallic thrills。



So Mary; the household minstrel; who always loved to please;

Sat down to the new 〃Clementi;〃 and struck the glittering keys。

Hushed were the children's voices; and every eye grew dim;

As; floating from lip and finger; arose the 〃Vesper Hymn。〃



Catharine; child of a neighbor; curly and rosy…red;

(Wedded since; and a widow;something like ten years dead;)

Hearing a gush of music such as none before;

Steals from her mother's chamber and peeps at the open door。



Just as the 〃Jubilate 〃 in threaded whisper dies;

〃Open it! open it; lady!〃 the little maiden cries;

(For she thought't was a singing creature caged in a box she heard;)

〃Open it! open it; lady! and let me see the bird!〃









IV



I don't know whether our literary or professional people are more

amiable than they are in other places; but certainly quarrelling is

out of fashion among them。  This could never be; if they were in the

habit of secret anonymous puffing of each other。  That is the kind of

underground machinery which manufactures false reputations and

genuine hatreds。  On the other hand; I should like to know if we are

not at liberty to have a good time together; and say the pleasantest

things we can think of to each other; when any of us reaches his

thirtieth or fortieth or fiftieth or eightieth birthday。



We don't have 〃scenes;〃 I warrant you; on these occasions。  No

〃surprise〃 parties!  You understand these; of course。  In the rural

districts; where scenic tragedy and melodrama cannot be had; as in

the city; at the expense of a quarter and a white pocket…

handkerchief; emotional excitement has to be sought in the dramas of

real life。  Christenings; weddings; and funerals; especially the

latter; are the main dependence; but babies; brides; and deceased

citizens cannot be had at a day's notice。  Now; then; for a surprise…

party!



A bag of flour; a barrel of potatoes; some strings of onions; a

basket of apples; a big cake and many little cakes; a jug of

lemonade; a purse stuffed with bills of the more modest

denominations; may; perhaps; do well enough for the properties in one

of these private theatrical exhibitions。  The minister of the parish;

a tender…hearted; quiet; hard…working man; living on a small salary;

with many children; sometimes pinched to feed and clothe them;

praying fervently every day to be blest in his 〃basket and store;〃

but sometimes fearing he asks amiss; to judge by the small returns;

has the first role;not; however; by his own choice; but forced upon

him。  The minister's wife; a sharp…eyed; unsentimental body; is first

lady; the remaining parts by the rest of the family。  If they only

had a playbill; it would run thus:





                     ON TUESDAY NEXT

                    WILL BE PRESENTED

                   THE AFFECTING SCENE

                         CALLED



                   THE SURPRISE…PARTY



                           OR



                  THE OVERCOME FAMILY;





WITH THE FOLLOWING STRONG CAST OF CHARACTERS。



The Rev。  Mr。 Overcome; by the Clergyman of this Parish。

Mrs。  Overcome; by his estimable lady。

Masters Matthew; Mark; Luke; and John Overcome;

Misses Dorcas; Tabitha; Rachel; and Hannah; Overcome; by their

interesting children。

Peggy; by the female help。



The poor man is really grateful;it is a most welcome and unexpected

relief。  He tries to express his thanks;his voice falters;he

chokes;and bursts into tears。  That is the great effect of the

evening。  The sharp…sighted lady cries a little with one eye; and

counts the strings of onions; and the rest of the things; with the

other。  The children stand ready for a spring at the apples。  The

female help weeps after the noisy fashion of untutored handmaids。



Now this is all very well as charity; but do let the kind visitors

remember they get their money's worth。  If you pay a quarter for dry

crying; done by a second…rate actor; how much ought you to pay for

real hot; wet tears; out of the honest eyes of a gentleman who is not

acting; but sobbing in earnest?



All I meant to say; when I began; was; that this was not a surprise…

party where I read these few lines that follow:



We will not speak of years to…night;

For what have years to bring;

But larger floods of love and light

And sweeter songs to sing?



We will not drown in wordy praise

The kindly thoughts that rise;

If friendship owns one tender phrase;

He reads it in our eyes。



We need not waste our schoolboy art

To gild this notch of time;

Forgive me; if my wayward heart

Has throbbed in artless rhyme。



Enough for him the silent grasp

That knits us hand in hand;

And he the bracelet's radiant clasp

That locks our circling band。



Strength to his hours of manly toil!

Peace to his starlit dreams!

Who loves alike the furrowed soil;

The music…haunted streams!



Sweet smiles to keep forever bright

The sunshine on his lips;

And faith; that sees the ring of light

Round Nature's last eclipse!





One of our boarders has been talking in such strong language that I

am almost afraid to report it。  However; as he seems to be really

honest and is so very sincere in his local prejudices; I don't

believe anybody will be very angry with him。



It is here; Sir!  right here!said the little deformed gentleman;

in this old new city of Boston;this remote provincial corner of a

provincial nation; that the Battle of the Standard is fighting; and

was fighting before we were born; and will be fighting when we are

dead and gone;please God!  The battle goes on everywhere throughout

civilization; but here; here; here is the broad white flag flying

which proclaims; first of all; peace and good…will to men; and; next

to that; the absolute; unconditional spiritual liberty of each

individual immort

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