the professor at the breakfast table-第48部分

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be　made　until　after　this　morning　hour；　there　was　nothing　urgent；　so

the　servant　was　ordered　to　tell　me。



It　was　the　first　breakfast　at　which　the　high　chair　at　the　side　of

Iris　had　been　unoccupied。　You　might　jest　as　well　take　away　that

chair；said　our　landlady；he'll　never　want　it　again。　　He　acts　like

a　man　that　's　struck　with　death；　'n'　I　don't　believe　he　'll　ever

come　out　of　his　chamber　till　he　's　laid　out　and　brought　down　a

corpse。　These　good　women　do　put　things　so　plainly！　　There　were　two

or　three　words　in　her　short　remark　that　always　sober　people；　and

suggest　silence　or　brief　moral　reflections。



Life　is　dreadful　uncerting；said　the　Poor　Relation；and　pulled

in　her　social　tentacles　to　concentrate　her　thoughts　on　this　fact　of

human　history。



If　there　was　anything　a　fellah　could　do；said　the　young　man　John；

so　called；a　fellah　'd　like　the　chance　o'　helpin'　a　little　cripple

like　that。　　He　looks　as　if　he　couldn't　turn　over　any　handier　than　a

turtle　that's　laid　on　his　back；　and　I　guess　there　a'n't　many　people

that　know　how　to　lift　better　than　I　do。　　Ask　him　if　he　don't　want

any　watchers。　　I　don't　mind　settin'　up　any　more　'n　a　cat…owl。　　I　was

up　all　night　twice　last　month。



＇My　private　opinion　is；　that　there　was　no　small　amount　of　punch

absorbed　on　those　two　occasions；　which　I　think　I　heard　of　at　the

time；but　the　offer　is　a　kind　one；　and　it　is　n't　fair　to　question

how　he　would　like　sitting　up　without　the　punch　and　the　company　and

the　songs　and　smoking。　　He　means　what　he　says；　and　it　would　be　a

more　considerable　achievement　for　him　to　sit　quietly　all　night　by　a

sick　man　than　for　a　good　many　other　people。　　I　tell　you　this　odd

thing：　there　are　a　good　many　persons；　who；　through　the　habit　of

making　other　folks　uncomfortable；　by　finding　fault　with　all　their

cheerful　enjoyments；　at　last　get　up　a　kind　of　hostility　to　comfort

in　general；　even　in　their　own　persons。　　The　correlative　to　loving

our　neighbors　as　ourselves　is　hating　ourselves　as　we　hate　our

neighbors。　　Look　at　old　misers；　first　they　starve　their　dependants；

and　then　themselves。　　So　I　think　it　more　for　a　lively　young　fellow

to　be　ready　to　play　nurse　than　for　one　of　those　useful　but　forlorn

martyrs　who　have　taken　a　spite　against　themselves　and　love　to

gratify　it　by　fasting　and　watching。



The　time　came　at　last　for　me　to　make　my　visit。　　I　found　Iris

sitting　by　the　Little　Gentleman's　pillow。　　To　my　disappointment；　the

room　was　darkened。　　He　did　not　like　the　light；　and　would　have　the

shutters　kept　nearly　closed。　　It　was　good　enough　for　me；　what

business　had　I　to　be　indulging　my　curiosity；　when　I　had　nothing　to

do　but　to　exercise　such　skill　as　I　possessed　for　the　benefit　of　my

patient？　　There　was　not　much　to　be　said　or　done　in　such　a　case；　but

I　spoke　as　encouragingly　as　I　could；　as　I　think　we　are　always　bound

to　do。　　He　did　not　seem　to　pay　any　very　anxious　attention；　but　the

poor　girl　listened　as　if　her　own　life　and　more　than　her　own　life

were　depending　on　the　words　I　uttered。　　She　followed　me　out　of　the

room；　when　I　had　got　through　my　visit。



How　long？she　said。



Uncertain。　　Any　time；　to…day；next　week；　next　month；I　answered。

One　of　those　cases　where　the　issue　is　not　doubtful；　but　may　be

sudden　or　slow。



The　women　of　the　house　were　kind；　as　women　always　are　in　trouble。

But　Iris　pretended　that　nobody　could　spare　the　time　as　well　as　she；

and　kept　her　place；　hour　after　hour；　until　the　landlady　insisted

that　she'd　be　killin'　herself；　if　she　begun　at　that　rate；　'n'　haf　to

give　up；　if　she　didn't　want　to　be　clean　beat　out　in　less　'n　a　week。



At　the　table　we　were　graver　than　common。　　The　high　chair　was　set

back　against　the　wall；　and　a　gap　left　between　that　of　the　young　girl

and　her　nearest　neighbor's　on　the　right。　　But　the　next　morning；　to

our　great　surprise；　that　good…looking　young　Marylander　had　very

quietly　moved　his　own　chair　to　the　vacant　place。　　I　thought　he　was

creeping　down　that　way；　but　I　was　not　prepared　for　a　leap　spanning

such　a　tremendous　parenthesis　of　boarders　as　this　change　of　position

included。　　There　was　no　denying　that　the　youth　and　maiden　were　a

handsome　pair；　as　they　sat　side　by　side。　　But　whatever　the　young

girl　may　have　thought　of　her　new　neighbor　she　never　seemed　for　a

moment　to　forget　the　poor　little　friend　who　had　been　taken　from　her

side。　　There　are　women；　and　even　girls；　with　whom　it　is　of　no　use　to

talk。　　One　might　as　well　reason　with　a　bee　as　to　the　form　of　his

cell；　or　with　an　oriole　as　to　the　construction　of　his　swinging　nest；

as　try　to　stir　these　creatures　from　their　own　way　of　doing　their　own

work。　　It　was　not　a　question　with　Iris；　whether　she　was　entitled　by

any　special　relation　or　by　the　fitness　of　things　to　play　the　part　of

a　nurse。　　She　was　a　wilful　creature　that　must　have　her　way　in　this

matter。　　And　it　so　proved　that　it　called　for　much　patience　and　long

endurance　to　carry　through　the　duties；　say　rather　the　kind　offices；

the　painful　pleasures；　which　she　had　chosen　as　her　share　in　the

household　where　accident　had　thrown　her。　　She　had　that　genius　of

ministration　which　is　the　special　province　of　certain　women；　marked

even　among　their　helpful　sisters　by　a　soft；　low　voice；　a　quiet

footfall；　a　light　hand；　a　cheering　smile；　and　a　ready　self…surrender

to　the　objects　of　their　care；　which　such　trifles　as　their　own　food；

sleep；　or　habits　of　any　kind　never　presume　to　interfere　with。

Day　after　day；　and　too　often　through　the　long　watches　of　the　night；

she　kept　her　place　by　the　pillow。



That　girl　will　kill　herself　over　me；　Sir；said　the　poor　Little

Gentleman　to　me；　one　day；she　will　kill　herself；　Sir；　if　you　don't

call　in　all　the　resources　of　your　art　to　get　me　off　as　soon　as　may

be。　　I　shall　wear　her　out；　Sir；　with　sitting　in　this　close　chamber

and　watching　when　she　ought　to　be　sleeping；　if　you　leave　me　to　the

care　of　Nature　without　dosing　me。



This　was　rather　strange　pleasantry；　under　the　circumstances。　　But

there　are　certain　persons　whose　existence　is　so　out　of　parallel　with

the　larger　laws　in　the　midst　of　which　it　is　moving；　that　life

becomes　to　them　as　death　and　death　as　life。　How　am　I　getting

along？he　said；　another　morning。　　He　lifted　his　shrivelled　hand；

with　the　death's…head　ring　on　it；　and　looked　at　it　with　a　sad　sort

of　complacency。　　By　this　one　movement；　which　I　have　seen　repeatedly

of　late；　I　know　that　his　thoughts　have　gone　before　to　another

condition；　and　that　he　is；　as　it　were；　looking　back　on　the

infirmities　of　the　body　as　accidents　of　the　past。　　For；　when　he　was

well；　one　might　see　him　often　looking　at　the　handsome　hand　with　the

flaming　jewel　on　one　of　its　fingers。　　The　single　well…shaped　limb

was　the　source　of　that　pleasure　which　in　some　form　or　other　Nature

almost　always　grants　to　her　least　richly　endowed　children。　　Handsome

hair；　eyes；　complexion；　feature；　form；　hand；　foot；　pleasant　voice；

strength；　grace；　agility；　intelligence；how　few　there　are　that　have

not　just　enough　of　one　at　least　of　these　gifts　to　show　them　that　the

good　Mother；　busy　with　her　millions　of　children；　has　not　quite

forgotten　them！　　But　now　he　was　thinking　of　that　other　state；　where；

free　from　all　mortal　impediments；　the　memory　of　his　sorrowful　burden

should　be　only　as　that　of　the　case　he　has　shed　to　the　insect　whose

〃deep…damasked　wings〃　beat　off　the　golden　dust　of　the　lily…anthers；

as　he　flutters　in　the　ecstasy　of　his　new　life　over　their　full…blown

summer　glories。



No　human　being　can　rest　for　any　time　in　a　state　of　equilibrium；

where　the　desire　to　live　and　that　to　depart　just　balance　each　other。

If　one　has　a　house；　which　he　has　lived　and　always　means　to　live　in；

he　pleases　himself　with　the　thought　of　all　the　conveniences　it

offers　him；　and　thinks　little　of　its　wants　and　imperfections。　　But

once　having　made　up　his　mind　to　move　to　a　better；　every　incommodity

starts　out　upon　him；　until　the　very　ground…plan　of　it　seems　to　have

changed　in　his　mind；　and　his　thoughts　and　affections；　each　one　of

them　packing　up　its　little　bundle　of　circumstances；　have　quitted

their　several　chambers　and　nooks　and　migrated　to　the　new　home；　long

before　its　apartments　are　ready　to　receive　their　coming　tenant。　　It

is　so　with　the　body。　　Most　persons　have　died　before　they　expire；

died　to　all　earthly　longings；　so　that　the　last　breath　is　only；　as　it

were；　the　locking　of　the　door　of　the　already　deserted　mansion。　　The

fact　of　the　tranquillity　with　which　the　great　majority　of　dying

persons　await　this　locking　of　those　gates　of　life　through　which　its

airy　angels　have　been　going　and　coming；　from　the　moment　of　the　first

cry；　is　familiar　to　those　who　have　been　often　called　upon　to　witness

the　last　period　of　life。　　Almost　always　there　is　a　preparation　made

by　Nature　for　unearthing　a　soul；　just　as　on　the　smaller　scale　there

is　for　the　removal　of　a　milktooth。　　The　roots　which　hold　human　life

to　earth　are　absorbed　before　it　is　lifted　from　its　place。　　Some　of

the　dying　are　weary　and　want　rest；　the　idea　of　which　is　almost

inseparable　in　the　universal　mind　from　death。　　Some　are　in　pain；　and

want　to　be　rid　of　it；　even　though　the　anodyne　be　dropped；　as　in　the

legend；　from　the　sword　of　the　Death…Angel。　　Some　are　stupid；

mercifully　narcotized　that　they　may　go　to　sleep　without　long　tossing

about。　　And　some　are　strong　in　faith　and　hope；　so　that；　as　they　draw

near　the　next　world；　they　would　fair　hurry　toward　it；　as　the　caravan

moves　faster　over　the　sands　when　the　foremost　travellers　send　word

along　the　file　that　water　is　in　sight。　　Though　each　little　party

that　follows　in　a　foot…track　of　its　own　will　have　it　that　the　water

to　which　others　think　they　are　hastening　is　a　mirage；　not　the　less

has　it　been　true　in　all　ages　and　for　human　beings　of　every　creed

which　recognized　a　future；　that　those　who　have　fallen　worn　out　by

their　march　through　the　Desert　have　dreamed　at　least　of　a　River　of

Life；　and　thought　they　heard　its　murmurs　as　they　lay　dying。



The　change　from　the　c