the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第16部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


later；　a　light　was　in　her　bedroom。

〃Oh；　my　Henriette！〃　I　cried；　〃to　you　I　pledge　the　purest　love　that
ever　shone　upon　this　earth。〃

I　turned　at　every　step　as　I　regained　Frapesle。　Ineffable　contentment
filled　my　mind。　A　way　was　open　for　the　devotion　that　swells　in　all
youthful　hearts　and　which　in　mine　had　been　so　long　inert。　Like　the
priest　who　by　one　solemn　step　enters　a　new　life；　my　vows　were　taken；　I
was　consecrated。　A　simple　〃Yes〃　had　bound　me　to　keep　my　love　within　my
soul　and　never　to　abuse　our　friendship　by　leading　this　woman　step　by
step　to　love。　All　noble　feelings　were　awakened　within　me；　and　I　heard
the　murmur　of　their　voices。　Before　confining　myself　within　the　narrow
walls　of　a　room；　I　stopped　beneath　the　azure　heavens　sown　with　stars；
I　listened　to　the　ring…dove　plaints　of　my　own　heart；　I　heard　again　the
simple　tones　of　that　ingenuous　confidence；　I　gathered　in　the　air　the
emanations　of　that　soul　which　henceforth　must　ever　seek　me。　How　grand
that　woman　seemed　to　me；　with　her　absolute　forgetfulness　of　self；　her
religion　of　mercy　to　wounded　hearts；　feeble　or　suffering；　her　declared
allegiance　to　her　legal　yoke。　She　was　there；　serene　upon　her　pyre　of
saint　and　martyr。　I　adored　her　face　as　it　shone　to　me　in　the　darkness。
Suddenly　I　fancied　I　perceived　a　meaning　in　her　words；　a　mysterious
significance　which　made　her　to　my　eyes　sublime。　Perhaps　she　longed
that　I　should　be　to　her　what　she　was　to　the　little　world　around　her。
Perhaps　she　sought　to　draw　from　me　her　strength　and　consolation；
putting　me　thus　within　her　sphere；　her　equal；　or　perhaps　above　her。
The　stars；　say　some　bold　builders　of　the　universe；　communicate　to　each
other　light　and　motion。　This　thought　lifted　me　to　ethereal　regions。　I
entered　once　more　the　heaven　of　my　former　visions；　I　found　a　meaning
for　the　miseries　of　my　childhood　in　the　illimitable　happiness　to　which
they　had　led　me。

Spirits　quenched　by　tears；　hearts　misunderstood；　saintly　Clarissa
Harlowes　forgotten　or　ignored；　children　neglected；　exiles　innocent　of
wrong；　all　ye　who　enter　life　through　barren　ways；　on　whom　men's　faces
everywhere　look　coldly；　to　whom　ears　close　and　hearts　are　shut；　cease
your　complaints！　You　alone　can　know　the　infinitude　of　joy　held　in　that
moment　when　one　heart　opens　to　you；　one　ear　listens；　one　look　answers
yours。　A　single　day　effaces　all　past　evil。　Sorrow；　despondency；
despair；　and　melancholy；　passed　but　not　forgotten；　are　links　by　which
the　soul　then　fastens　to　its　mate。　Woman　falls　heir　to　all　our　past；
our　sighs；　our　lost　illusions；　and　gives　them　back　to　us　ennobled；　she
explains　those　former　griefs　as　payment　claimed　by　destiny　for　joys
eternal；　which　she　brings　to　us　on　the　day　our　souls　are　wedded。　The
angels　alone　can　utter　the　new　name　by　which　that　sacred　love　is
called；　and　none　but　women；　dear　martyrs；　truly　know　what　Madame　de
Mortsauf　now　became　to　meto　me；　poor　and　desolate。



CHAPTER　II

FIRST　LOVE

This　scene　took　place　on　a　Tuesday。　I　waited　until　Sunday　and　did　not
cross　the　river。　During　those　five　days　great　events　were　happening　at
Clochegourde。　The　count　received　his　brevet　as　general　of　brigade；　the
cross　of　Saint　Louis；　and　a　pension　of　four　thousand　francs。　The　Duc
de　Lenoncourt…Givry；　made　peer　of　France；　recovered　possession　of　two
forests；　resumed　his　place　at　court；　and　his　wife　regained　all　her
unsold　property；　which　had　been　made　part　of　the　imperial　crown　lands。
The　Comtesse　de　Mortsauf　thus　became　an　heiress。　Her　mother　had
arrived　at　Clochegourde；　bringing　her　a　hundred　thousand　francs
economized　at　Givry；　the　amount　of　her　dowry；　still　unpaid　and　never
asked　for　by　the　count　in　spite　of　his　poverty。　In　all　such　matters　of
external　life　the　conduct　of　this　man　was　proudly　disinterested。
Adding　to　this　sum　his　own　few　savings　he　was　able　to　buy　two
neighboring　estates；　which　would　yield　him　some　nine　thousand　francs　a
year。　His　son　would　of　course　succeed　to　the　grandfather's　peerage；
and　the　count　now　saw　his　way　to　entail　the　estate　upon　him　without
injury　to　Madeleine；　for　whom　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt　would　no　doubt
assist　in　promoting　a　good　marriage。


These　arrangements　and　this　new　happiness　shed　some　balm　upon　the
count's　sore　mind。　The　presence　of　the　Duchesse　de　Lenoncourt　at
Clochegourde　was　a　great　event　to　the　neighborhood。　I　reflected
gloomily　that　she　was　a　great　lady；　and　the　thought　made　me　conscious
of　the　spirit　of　caste　in　the　daughter　which　the　nobility　of　her
sentiments　had　hitherto　hidden　from　me。　Who　was　Ipoor；
insignificant；　and　with　no　future　but　my　courage　and　my　faculties？　I
did　not　then　think　of　the　consequences　of　the　Restoration　either　for
me　or　for　others。　On　Sunday　morning；　from　the　private　chapel　where　I
sat　with　Monsieur　and　Madame　de　Chessel　and　the　Abbe　de　Quelus；　I　cast
an　eager　glance　at　another　lateral　chapel　occupied　by　the　duchess　and
her　daughter；　the　count　and　his　children。　The　large　straw　hat　which
hid　my　idol　from　me　did　not　tremble；　and　this　unconsciousness　of　my
presence　seemed　to　bind　me　to　her　more　than　all　the　past。　This　noble
Henriette　de　Lenoncourt；　my　Henriette；　whose　life　I　longed　to　garland；
was　praying　earnestly；　faith　gave　to　her　figure　an　abandonment；　a
prosternation；　the　attitude　of　some　religious　statue；　which　moved　me
to　the　soul。

According　to　village　custom；　vespers　were　said　soon　after　mass。　Coming
out　of　church　Madame　de　Chessel　naturally　proposed　to　her　neighbors　to
pass　the　intermediate　time　at　Frapesle　instead　of　crossing　the　Indre
and　the　meadows　twice　in　the　great　heat。　The　offer　was　accepted。
Monsieur　de　Chessel　gave　his　arm　to　the　duchess；　Madame　de　Chessel
took　that　of　the　count。　I　offered　mine　to　the　countess；　and　felt；　for
the　first　time；　that　beautiful　arm　against　my　side。　As　we　walked　from
the　church　to　Frapesle　by　the　woods　of　Sache；　where　the　light；
filtering　down　through　the　foliage；　made　those　pretty　patterns　on　the
path　which　seem　like　painted　silk；　such　sensations　of　pride；　such
ideas　took　possession　of　me　that　my　heart　beat　violently。

〃What　is　the　matter？〃　she　said；　after　walking　a　little　way　in　a
silence　I　dared　not　break。　〃Your　heart　beats　too　fast〃

〃I　have　heard　of　your　good　fortune；〃　I　replied；　〃and；　like　all　others
who　love　truly；　I　am　beset　with　vague　fears。　Will　your　new　dignities
change　you　and　lessen　your　friendship？〃

〃Change　me！〃　she　said；　〃oh；　fie！　Another　such　idea　and　I　shallnot
despise　you；　but　forget　you　forever。〃

I　looked　at　her　with　an　ecstasy　which　should　have　been　contagious。

〃We　profit　by　the　new　laws　which　we　have　neither　brought　about　nor
demanded；〃　she　said；　〃but　we　are　neither　place…hunters　nor　beggars；
besides；　as　you　know　very　well；　neither　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　nor　I　can
leave　Clochegourde。　By　my　advice　he　has　declined　the　command　to　which
his　rank　entitled　him　at　the　Maison　Rouge。　We　are　quite　content　that
my　father　should　have　the　place。　This　forced　modesty；〃　she　added　with
some　bitterness；　〃has　already　been　of　service　to　our　son。　The　king；　to
whose　household　my　father　is　appointed；　said　very　graciously　that　he
would　show　Jacques　the　favor　we　were　not　willing　to　accept。　Jacques'
education；　which　must　now　be　thought　of；　is　already　being　discussed。
He　will　be　the　representative　of　two　houses；　the　Lenoncourt　and　the
Mortsauf　families。　I　can　have　no　ambition　except　for　him；　and
therefore　my　anxieties　seem　to　have　increased。　Not　only　must　Jacques
live；　but　he　must　be　made　worthy　of　his　name；　two　necessities　which；
as　you　know；　conflict。　And　then；　later；　what　friend　will　keep　him　safe
for　me　in　Paris；　where　all　things　are　pitfalls　for　the　soul　and
dangers　for　the　body？　My　friend；〃　she　said；　in　a　broken　voice；　〃who
could　not　see　upon　your　brow　and　in　your　eyes　that　you　are　one　who
will　inhabit　heights？　Be　some　day　the　guardian　and　sponsor　of　our　boy。
Go　to　Paris；　if　your　father　and　brother　will　not　second　you；　our
family；　above　all　my　mother；　who　has　a　genius　for　the　management　of
life；　will　help　you。　Profit　by　our　influence；　you　will　never　be
without　support　in　whatever　career　you　choose；　put　the　strength　of
your　desires　into　a　noble　ambition〃

〃I　understand　you；〃　I　said；　interrupting　her；　〃ambition　is　to　be　my
mistress。　I　have　no　need　of　that　to　be　wholly　yours。　No；　I　will　not　be
rewarded　for　my　obedience　here　by　receiving　favors　there。　I　will　go；　I
will　make　my　own　way；　I　will　rise　alone。　From　you　I　would　accept
everything；　from　others　nothing。〃

〃Child！〃　she　murmured；　ill…concealing　a　smile　of　pleasure。

〃Besides；　I　have　taken　my　vows；〃　I　went　on。　〃Thinking　over　our
situation　I　am　resolved　to　bind　myself　to　you　by　ties　that　never　can
be　broken。〃

She　trembled　slightly　and　stopped　short　to　look　at　me。

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　she　asked；　letting　the　couples　who　preceded　us
walk　on；　and　keeping　the　children　at　her　side。

〃This；〃　I　said；　〃but　first　tell　me　frankly　how　you　wish　me　to　love
you。〃

〃Love　me　as　my　aunt　loved　me；　I　gave　you　her　rights　when　I　permitted
you　to　call　me　by　the　name　which　she　chose　for　her　own　among　my
others。〃

〃Then　I　am　to　love　without　hope　and　with　an　absolute　devotion。　Well；
yes；　I　will　do　for　you　what　some　men　do　for　God。　I　shall　feel　that　you
have　asked　it。　I　will　enter　a　seminary　and　make　myself　a　priest；　and
then　I　will　educate　your　son。　Jacques　shall　be　myself　in　his　own　form；
political　conceptions；　thoughts；　energy；　patience；　I　will　give　him
all。　In　that　way　I　shall　live　near　to　you；　and　my　love；　enclosed　in
religion　as　a　silver　image　in　a　crystal　shrine；　can　never　be　suspected
of　evil。　You　will　not　have　to　fear　the　undisciplined　passions　which
grasp　a　man　and　by　which　already　I　have　allowed　myself　to　be
vanquished。　I　will　consume　my　own　being　in　the　flame；　and　I　will　love
you　with　a　purified　love。〃

She　turned　pale　and　said；　hurrying　her　words：　〃Felix；　do　not　put
yourself　in　bonds　that　might　prove　an　obstacle　to　our　happiness。　I
should　die　of　grief　for　having　caused　a　suicide　like　that。　Child；　do
you　think　despairing　love　a　life's　vocation？　Wait　for　life's　trials
before　you　judge　of　life；　I　command　it。　Marry　neither　the　Church　nor　a
woman；　marry　not　at　all；I　forbid　it。　Remain　free。　You　are　twenty…one
years　oldMy　God！　can　I　have　mistaken