the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第30部分
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heart watched；〃 the count harshly interrupted her。
〃That is to say； you were half crazy；〃 he cried。
She was silent； as deeply hurt as though it were a first wound；
forgetting that for thirteen years this man had lost no chance to
shoot his arrows into her heart。 Like a soaring bird struck on the
wing by vulgar shot； she sank into a dull depression； then she roused
herself。
〃How is it； monsieur；〃 she said； 〃that no word of mine ever finds
favor in your sight？ Have you no indulgence for my weakness；no
comprehension of me as a woman？〃
She stopped short。 Already she regretted the murmur； and measured the
future by the past； how could she expect comprehension？ Had she not
drawn upon herself some virulent attack？ The blue veins of her temples
throbbed； she shed no tears； but the color of her eyes faded。 Then she
looked down； that she might not see her pain reflected on my face； her
feelings guessed； her soul wooed by my soul； above all； not see the
sympathy of young love； ready like a faithful dog to spring at the
throat of whoever threatened his mistress； without regard to the
assailant's strength or quality。 At such cruel moments the count's air
of superiority was supreme。 He thought he had triumphed over his wife；
and he pursued her with a hail of phrases which repeated the one idea；
and were like the blows of an axe which fell with unvarying sound。
〃Always the same？〃 I said； when the count left us to follow the
huntsman who came to speak to him。
〃Always；〃 answered Jacques。
〃Always excellent； my son；〃 she said； endeavoring to withdraw Monsieur
de Mortsauf from the judgment of his children。 〃You see only the
present； you know nothing of the past； therefore you cannot criticise
your father without doing him injustice。 But even if you had the pain
of seeing that your father was to blame； family honor requires you to
bury such secrets in silence。〃
〃How have the changes at the Cassine and the Rhetoriere answered？〃 I
asked； to divert her mind from bitter thoughts。
〃Beyond my expectations；〃 she replied。 〃As soon as the buildings were
finished we found two excellent farmers ready to hire them； one at
four thousand five hundred francs； taxes paid； the other at five
thousand； both leases for fifteen years。 We have already planted three
thousand young trees on the new farms。 Manette's cousin is delighted
to get the Rabelaye； Martineau has taken the Baude。 All OUR efforts
have been crowned with success。 Clochegourde； without the reserved
land which we call the home…farm； and without the timber and
vineyards； brings in nineteen thousand francs a year； and the
plantations are becoming valuable。 I am battling to let the home…farm
to Martineau； the keeper； whose eldest son can now take his place。 He
offers three thousand francs if Monsieur de Mortsauf will build him a
farm…house at the Commanderie。 We might then clear the approach to
Clochegourde； finish the proposed avenue to the main road； and have
only the woodland and the vineyards to take care of ourselves。 If the
king returns； OUR pension will be restored； WE shall consent after
clashing a little with OUR wife's common…sense。 Jacques' fortune will
then be permanently secured。 That result obtained； I shall leave
monsieur to lay by as much as he likes for Madeleine； though the king
will of course dower her； according to custom。 My conscience is easy；
I have all but accomplished my task。 And you？〃 she said。
I explained to her the mission on which the king had sent me； and
showed her how her wise counsel had borne fruit。 Was she endowed with
second sight thus to foretell events？
〃Did I not write it to you？〃 she answered。 〃For you and for my
children alone I possess a remarkable faculty； of which I have spoken
only to my confessor； Monsieur de la Berge； he explains it by divine
intervention。 Often； after deep meditation induced by fears about the
health of my children； my eyes close to the things of earth and see
into another region； if Jacques and Madeleine there appear to me as
two luminous figures they are sure to have good health for a certain
period of time； if wrapped in mist they are equally sure to fall ill
soon after。 As for you； I not only see you brilliantly illuminated；
but I hear a voice which explains to me without words； by some mental
communication； what you ought to do。 Does any law forbid me to use
this wonderful gift for my children and for you？〃 she asked； falling
into a reverie。 Then； after a pause； she added； 〃Perhaps God wills to
take the place of their father。〃
〃Let me believe that my obedience is due to none but you；〃 I cried。
She gave me one of her exquisitely gracious smiles； which so exalted
my heart that I should not have felt a death…blow if given at that
moment。
〃As soon as the king returns to Paris； go there； leave Clochegourde；〃
she said。 〃It may be degrading to beg for places and favors； but it
would be ridiculous to be out of the way of receiving them。 Great
changes will soon take place。 The king needs capable and trustworthy
men； don't fail him。 It is well for you to enter young into the
affairs of the nation and learn your way； for statesmen； like actors；
have a routine business to acquire； which genius does not reveal； it
must be learnt。 My father heard the Duc de Choiseul say this。 Think of
me；〃 she said； after a pause； 〃let me enjoy the pleasures of
superiority in a soul that is all my own； for are you not my son？〃
〃Your son？〃 I said； sullenly。
〃Yes； my son！〃 she cried； mocking me； 〃is not that a good place in my
heart？〃
The bell rang for dinner； she took my arm and leaned contentedly upon
it。
〃You have grown；〃 she said； as we went up the steps。 When we reached
the portico she shook my arm a little； as if my looks were
importunate； for though her eyes were lowered she knew that I saw only
her。 Then she said； with a charming air of pretended impatience； full
of grace and coquetry； 〃Come； why don't you look at our dear valley？〃
She turned； held her white silk sun…shade over our heads and drew
Jacques closely to her side。 The motion of her head as she looked
towards the Indre； the punt； the meadows； showed me that in my absence
she had come to many an understanding with those misty horizons and
their vaporous outline。 Nature was a mantle which sheltered her
thoughts。 She now knew what the nightingale was sighing the livelong
night； what the songster of the sedges hymned with his plaintive note。
At eight o'clock that evening I was witness of a scene which touched
me deeply； and which I had never yet witnessed； for in my former
visits I had played backgammon with the count while his wife took the
children into the dining…room before their bedtime。 The bell rang
twice； and all the servants of the household entered the room。
〃You are now our guest and must submit to convent rule；〃 said the
countess； leading me by the hand with that air of innocent gaiety
which distinguishes women who are naturally pious。
The count followed。 Masters； children； and servants knelt down； all
taking their regular places。 It was Madeleine's turn to read the
prayers。 The dear child said them in her childish voice； the ingenuous
tones of which rose clear in the harmonious silence of the country；
and gave to the words the candor of holy innocence； the grace of
angels。 It was the most affecting prayer I ever heard。 Nature replied
to the child's voice with the myriad murmurs of the coming night； like
the low accompaniment of an organ lightly touched； Madeleine was on
the right of the countess； Jacques on her left。 The graceful curly
heads； between which rose the smooth braids of the mother； and above
all three the perfectly white hair and yellow cranium of the father；
made a picture which repeated； in some sort； the ideas aroused by the
melody of the prayer。 As if to fulfil all conditions of the unity
which marks the sublime； this calm and collected group were bathed in
the fading light of the setting sun； its red tints coloring the room；
impelling the soulbe it poetic or superstitiousto believe that the
fires of heaven were visiting these faithful servants of God as they
knelt there without distinction of rank； in the equality which heaven
demands。 Thinking back to the days of the patriarchs my mind still
further magnified this scene； so grand in its simplicity。
The children said good…night； the servants bowed； the countess went
away holding a child by each hand； and I returned to the salon with
the count。
〃We provide you with salvation there； and hell here；〃 he said；
pointing to the backgammon…board。
The countess returned in half an hour； and brought her frame near the
table。
〃This is for you；〃 she said； unrolling the canvas； 〃but for the last
three months it has languished。 Between that rose and this heartsease
my poor child was ill。〃
〃Come； come；〃 said Monsieur de Mortsauf； 〃don't talk of that any more。
Sixfive； emissary of the king！〃
When alone in my room I hushed my breathing that I might hear her
passing to and fro in hers。 She was calm and pure； but I was lashed
with maddening ideas。 〃Why should she not be mine？〃 I thought；
〃perhaps she is； like me； in this whirlwind of agitation。〃 At one
o'clock； I went down； walking noiselessly； and lay before her door。
With my ear pressed to a chink I could hear her equable； gentle
breathing； like that of a child。 When chilled to the bone I went back
to bed and slept tranquilly till morning。 I know not what prenatal
influence； what nature within me； causes the delight I take in going
to the brink of precipices； sounding the gulf of evil； seeking to know
its depths； feeling its icy chill； and retreating in deep emotion。
That hour of night passed on the threshold of her door where I wept
with rage；though she never knew that on the morrow her foot had trod
upon my tears and kisses； on her virtue first destroyed and then
respected； cursed and adored；that hour； foolish in the eyes of many；
was nevertheless an inspiration of the same mysterious impulse which
impels the soldier。 Many have told me they have played their lives
upon it； flinging themselves before a battery to know if they could
escape the shot； happy in thus galloping into the abyss of
proba
