the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第38部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


two　young　images　of　mournful　fate；　I　am　overpowered　with　disgust；
invincible　disgust　for　life。　What　blow　can　I　feel；　to　what　affection
can　I　answer；　when　I　see　Jacques　motionless　on　the　terrace；　scarcely　a
sign　of　life　about　him；　except　in　those　dear　eyes；　large　by
emaciation；　hollow　as　those　of　an　old　man　and；　oh；　fatal　sign；　full　of
precocious　intelligence　contrasting　with　his　physical　debility。　When　I
look　at　my　pretty　Madeleine；　once　so　gay；　so　caressing；　so　blooming；
now　white　as　death；　her　very　hair　and　eyes　seem　to　me　to　have　paled；
she　turns　a　languishing　look　upon　me　as　if　bidding　me　farewell；
nothing　rouses　her；　nothing　tempts　her。　In　spite　of　all　my　efforts　I
cannot　amuse　my　children；　they　smile　at　me；　but　their　smile　is　only　in
answer　to　my　endearments；　it　does　not　come　from　them。　They　weep
because　they　have　no　strength　to　play　with　me。　Suffering　has　enfeebled
their　whole　being；　it　has　loosened　even　the　ties　that　bound　them　to
me。

〃Thus　you　can　well　believe　that　Clochegourde　is　very　sad。　Monsieur　de
Mortsauf　now　rules　everythingOh　my　friend！　you；　my　glory！〃　she
wrote；　farther　on；　〃you　must　indeed　love　me　well　to　love　me　still；　to
love　me　callous；　ungrateful；　turned　to　stone　by　grief。〃



CHAPTER　III

THE　TWO　WOMEN

It　was　at　this　time；　when　I　was　never　more　deeply　moved　in　my　whole
being；　when　I　lived　in　that　soul　to　which　I　strove　to　send　the
luminous　breeze　of　the　mornings　and　the　hope　of　the　crimsoned
evenings；　that　I　met；　in　the　salons　of　the　Elysee…Bourbon；　one　of
those　illustrious　ladies　who　reign　as　sovereigns　in　society。　Immensely
rich；　born　of　a　family　whose　blood　was　pure　from　all　misalliance　since
the　Conquest；　married　to　one　of　the　most　distinguished　old　men　of　the
British　peerage；　it　was　nevertheless　evident　that　these　advantages
were　mere　accessories　heightening　this　lady's　beauty；　graces；　manners；
and　wit；　all　of　which　had　a　brilliant　quality　which　dazzled　before　it
charmed。　She　was　the　idol　of　the　day；　reigning　the　more　securely　over
Parisian　society　because　she　possessed　the　quality　most　necessary　to
success；the　hand　of　iron　in　the　velvet　glove　spoken　of　by
Bernadotte。

You　know　the　singular　characteristics　of　English　people；　the　distance
and　coldness　of　their　own　Channel　which　they　put　between　them　and
whoever　has　not　been　presented　to　them　in　a　proper　manner。　Humanity
seems　to　be　an　ant…hill　on　which　they　tread；　they　know　none　of　their
species　except　the　few　they　admit　into　their　circle；　they　ignore　even
the　language　of　the　rest；　tongues　may　move　and　eyes　may　see　in　their
presence　but　neither　sound　nor　look　has　reached　them；　to　them；　the
people　are　as　if　they　were　not。　The　British　present　an　image　of　their
own　island；　where　law　rules　everything；　where　all　is　automatic　in
every　station　of　life；　where　the　exercise　of　virtue　appears　to　be　the
necessary　working　of　a　machine　which　goes　by　clockwork。　Fortifications
of　polished　steel　rise　around　the　Englishwoman　behind　the　golden　wires
of　her　household　cage　（where　the　feed…box　and　the　drinking…cup；　the
perches　and　the　food　are　exquisite　in　quality）；　but　they　make　her
irresistibly　attractive。　No　people　ever　trained　married　women　so
carefully　to　hypocrisy　by　holding　them　rigidly　between　the　two
extremes　of　death　or　social　station；　for　them　there　is　no　middle　path
between　shame　and　honor；　either　the　wrong　is　completed　or　it　does　not
exist；　it　is　all　or　nothing；Hamlet's　〃To　be　or　not　to　be。〃　This
alternative；　coupled　with　the　scorn　to　which　the　customs　of　her
country　have　trained　her；　make　an　Englishwoman　a　being　apart　in　the
world。　She　is　a　helpless　creature；　forced　to　be　virtuous　yet　ready　to
yield；　condemned　to　live　a　lie　in　her　heart；　yet　delightful　in　outward
appearancefor　these　English　rest　everything　on　appearances。　Hence
the　special　charms　of　their　women：　the　enthusiasm　for　a　love　which　is
all　their　life；　the　minuteness　of　their　care　for　their　persons；　the
delicacy　of　their　passion；　so　charmingly　rendered　in　the　famous　scene
of　Romeo　and　Juliet　in　which；　with　one　stroke；　Shakespeare's　genius
depicted　his　country…women。

You；　who　envy　them　so　many　things；　what　can　I　tell　you　that　you　do　not
know　of　these　white　sirens；　impenetrable　apparently　but　easily
fathomed；　who　believe　that　love　suffices　love；　and　turn　enjoyments　to
satiety　by　never　varying　them；　whose　soul　has　one　note　only；　their
voice　one　syllablean　ocean　of　love　in　themselves；　it　is　true；　and　he
who　has　never　swum　there　misses　part　of　the　poetry　of　the　senses；　as
he　who　has　never　seen　the　sea　has　lost　some　strings　of　his　lyre。　You
know　the　why　and　wherefore　of　these　words。　My　relations　with　the
Marchioness　of　Dudley　had　a　disastrous　celebrity。　At　an　age　when　the
senses　have　dominion　over　our　conduct；　and　when　in　my　case　they　had
been　violently　repressed　by　circumstances；　the　image　of　the　saint
bearing　her　slow　martyrdom　at　Clochegourde　shone　so　vividly　before　my
mind　that　I　was　able　to　resist　all　seductions。　It　was　the　lustre　of
this　fidelity　which　attracted　Lady　Dudley's　attention。　My　resistance
stimulated　her　passion。　What　she　chiefly　desired；　like　many
Englishwoman；　was　the　spice　of　singularity；　she　wanted　pepper；
capsicum；　with　her　heart's　food；　just　as　Englishmen　need　condiments　to
excite　their　appetite。　The　dull　languor　forced　into　the　lives　of　these
women　by　the　constant　perfection　of　everything　about　them；　the
methodical　regularity　of　their　habits；　leads　them　to　adore　the
romantic　and　to　welcome　difficulty。　I　was　wholly　unable　to　judge　of
such　a　character。　The　more　I　retreated　to　a　cold　distance　the　more
impassioned　Lady　Dudley　became。　The　struggle；　in　which　she　gloried；
excited　the　curiosity　of　several　persons；　and　this　in　itself　was　a
form　of　happiness　which　to　her　mind　made　ultimate　triumph　obligatory。
Ah！　I　might　have　been　saved　if　some　good　friend　had　then　repeated　to
me　her　cruel　comment　on　my　relations　with　Madame　de　Mortsauf。

〃I　am　wearied　to　death；〃　she　said；　〃of　these　turtle…dove　sighings。〃

Without　seeking　to　justify　my　crime；　I　ask　you　to　observe；　Natalie；
that　a　man　has　fewer　means　of　resisting　a　woman　than　she　has　of
escaping　him。　Our　code　of　manners　forbids　the　brutality　of　repressing
a　woman；　whereas　repression　with　your　sex　is　not　only　allurement　to
ours；　but　is　imposed　upon　you　by　conventions。　With　us；　on　the
contrary；　some　unwritten　law　of　masculine　self…conceit　ridicules　a
man's　modesty；　we　leave　you　the　monopoly　of　that　virtue；　that　you　may
have　the　privilege　of　granting　us　favors；　but　reverse　the　case；　and
man　succumbs　before　sarcasm。

Though　protected　by　my　love；　I　was　not　of　an　age　to　be　wholly
insensible　to　the　triple　seductions　of　pride；　devotion；　and　beauty。
When　Arabella　laid　at　my　feet　the　homage　of　a　ball…room　where　she
reigned　a　queen；　when　she　watched　by　glance　to　know　if　my　taste
approved　of　her　dress；　and　when　she　trembled　with　pleasure　on　seeing
that　she　pleased　me；　I　was　affected　by　her　emotion。　Besides；　she
occupied　a　social　position　where　I　could　not　escape　her；　I　could　not
refuse　invitations　in　the　diplomatic　circle；　her　rank　admitted　her
everywhere；　and　with　the　cleverness　all　women　display　to　obtain　what
pleases　them；　she　often　contrived　that　the　mistress　of　the　house
should　place　me　beside　her　at　dinner。　On　such　occasions　she　spoke　in
low　tones　to　my　ear。　〃If　I　were　loved　like　Madame　de　Mortsauf；〃　she
said　once；　〃I　should　sacrifice　all。〃　She　did　submit　herself　with　a
laugh　in　many　humble　ways；　she　promised　me　a　discretion　equal　to　any
test；　and　even　asked　that　I　would　merely　suffer　her　to　love　me。　〃Your
friend　always；　your　mistress　when　you　will；〃　she　said。　At　last；　after
an　evening　when　she　had　made　herself　so　beautiful　that　she　was　certain
to　have　excited　my　desires；　she　came　to　me。　The　scandal　resounded
through　England；　where　the　aristocracy　was　horrified　like　heaven
itself　at　the　fall　of　its　highest　angel。　Lady　Dudley　abandoned　her
place　in　the　British　empyrean；　gave　up　her　wealth；　and　endeavored　to
eclipse　by　her　sacrifices　HER　whose　virtue　had　been　the　cause　of　this
great　disaster。　She　took　delight；　like　the　devil　on　the　pinnacle　of
the　temple；　in　showing　me　all　the　riches　of　her　passionate　kingdom。

Read　me；　I　pray　you；　with　indulgence。　The　matter　concerns　one　of　the
most　interesting　problems　of　human　life；a　crisis　to　which　most　men
are　subjected；　and　which　I　desire　to　explain；　if　only　to　place　a
warning　light　upon　the　reef。　This　beautiful　woman；　so　slender；　so
fragile；　this　milk…white　creature；　so　yielding；　so　submissive；　so
gentle；　her　brow　so　endearing；　the　hair　that　crowns　it　so　fair　and
fine；　this　tender　woman；　whose　brilliancy　is　phosphorescent　and
fugitive；　has；　in　truth；　an　iron　nature。　No　horse；　no　matter　how　fiery
he　may　be；　can　conquer　her　vigorous　wrist；　or　strive　against　that　hand
so　soft　in　appearance；　but　never　tired。　She　has　the　foot　of　a　doe；　a
thin；　muscular　little　foot；　indescribably　graceful　in　outline。　She　is
so　strong　that　she　fears　no　struggle；　men　cannot　follow　her　on
horseback；　she　would　win　a　steeple…chase　against　a　centaur；　she　can
bring　down　a　stag　without　stopping　her　horse。　Her　body　never
perspires；　it　inhales　the　fire　of　the　atmosphere；　and　lives　in　water
under　pain　of　not　living　at　all。　Her　love　is　African；　her　desires　are
like　the　whirlwinds　of　the　desertthe　desert；　whose　torrid　expanse　is
in　her　eyes；　the　azure；　love…laden　desert；　with　its　changeless　skies；
its　cool　and　starry　nights。　What　a　contrast　to　Clochegourde！　the　east
and　the　west！　the　one　drawing　into　her　every　drop　of　moisture　for　her
own　nourishment；　the　other　exuding　her　soul；　wrapping　her　dear　ones　in
her　luminous　atmosphere；　the　one　quick　and　slender；　the　other　slow　and
massive。

Have　you　ever　reflected　on　the　actual　meaning　of　the　manners　and
customs　and　morals　of　England？　Is　it　not　the　deification　of　matter？　a
well…defined；　carefully　considered　Epicureanism；　judiciously　applied？
No　matter　what　may　be　said　against　the　statement；　England　is
materialist；possibly　she　does　not　know　it　herself。　She　lays　claim　to
religion　and　morality；　from　which；　however；　divine　spirituality；　the
catholic　soul；　is　absent；　and　its　fructifying　grace　cannot　be　replaced
by　any　counterfeit；　however　well　presented