the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第41部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


cheeks　as　velvety　as　a　peach　and　given　to　her　throat　the　silken　down
which；　like　her　mother's；　caught　the　light。　She　was　to　live！　God　had
written　it；　dear　bud　of　the　loveliest　of　human　flowers；　on　the　long
lashes　of　her　eyelids；　on　the　curve　of　those　shoulders　which　gave
promise　of　a　development　as　superb　as　her　mother's！　This　brown　young
girl；　erect　as　a　poplar；　contrasted　with　Jacques；　a　fragile　youth　of
seventeen；　whose　head　had　grown　immensely；　causing　anxiety　by　the
rapid　expansion　of　the　forehead；　while　his　feverish；　weary　eyes　were
in　keeping　with　a　voice　that　was　deep　and　sonorous。　The　voice　gave
forth　too　strong　a　volume　of　tone；　the　eye　too　many　thoughts。　It　was
Henriette's　intellect　and　soul　and　heart　that　were　here　devouring　with
swift　flames　a　body　without　stamina；　for　Jacques　had　the　milk…white
skin　and　high　color　which　characterize　young　English　women　doomed
sooner　or　later　to　the　consumptive　curse；an　appearance　of　health
that　deceives　the　eye。　Following　a　sign　by　which　Henriette；　after
showing　me　Madeleine；　made　me　look　at　Jacques　drawing　geometrical
figures　and　algebraic　calculations　on　a　board　before　the　Abbe　Dominis；
I　shivered　at　the　sight　of　death　hidden　beneath　the　roses；　and　was
thankful　for　the　self…deception　of　his　mother。

〃When　I　see　my　children　thus；　happiness　stills　my　griefsjust　as
those　griefs　are　dumb；　and　even　disappear；　when　I　see　them　failing。　My
friend；〃　she　said；　her　eyes　shining　with　maternal　pleasure；　〃if　other
affections　fail　us；　the　feelings　rewarded　here；　the　duties　done　and
crowned　with　success；　are　compensation　enough　for　defeat　elsewhere。
Jacques　will　be；　like　you；　a　man　of　the　highest　education；　possessed
of　the　worthiest　knowledge；　he　will　be；　like　you；　an　honor　to　his
country；　which　he　may　assist　in　governing；　helped　by　you；　whose
standing　will　be　so　high；　but　I　will　strive　to　make　him　faithful　to
his　first　affections。　Madeleine；　dear　creature；　has　a　noble　heart；　she
is　pure　as　the　snows　on　the　highest　Alps；　she　will　have　a　woman's
devotion　and　a　woman's　graceful　intellect。　She　is　proud；　she　is　worthy
of　being　a　Lenoncourt。　My　motherhood；　once　so　tried；　so　tortured；　is
happy　now；　happy　with　an　infinite　happiness；　unmixed　with　pain。　Yes；
my　life　is　full；　my　life　is　rich。　You　see；　God　makes　my　joy　to　blossom
in　the　heart　of　these　sanctified　affections；　and　turns　to　bitterness
those　that　might　have　led　me　astray〃

〃Good！〃　cried　the　abbe；　joyfully。　〃Monsieur　le　vicomte　begins　to　know
as　much　as　I〃

Just　then　Jacques　coughed。

〃Enough　for　to…day；　my　dear　abbe；〃　said　the　countess；　〃above　all；　no
chemistry。　Go　for　a　ride　on　horseback；　Jacques；〃　she　added；　letting
her　son　kiss　her　with　the　tender　and　yet　dignified　pleasure　of　a
mother。　〃Go；　dear；　but　take　care　of　yourself。〃

〃But；〃　I　said；　as　her　eyes　followed　Jacques　with　a　lingering　look；
〃you　have　not　answered　me。　Do　you　feel　ill？〃

〃Oh；　sometimes；　in　my　stomach。　If　I　were　in　Paris　I　should　have　the
honors　of　gastritis；　the　fashionable　disease。〃

〃My　mother　suffers　very　much　and　very　often；〃　said　Madeleine。

〃Ah！〃　she　said；　〃does　my　health　interest　you？〃

Madeleine；　astonished　at　the　irony　of　these　words；　looked　from　one　to
the　other；　my　eyes　counted　the　roses　on　the　cushion　of　the　gray　and
green　sofa　which　was　in　the　salon。

〃This　situation　is　intolerable；〃　I　whispered　in　her　ear。

〃Did　I　create　it？〃　she　asked。　〃Dear　child；〃　she　said　aloud；　with　one
of　those　cruel　levities　by　which　women　point　their　vengeance；　〃don't
you　read　history？　France　and　England　are　enemies；　and　ever　have　been。
Madeleine　knows　that；　she　knows　that　a　broad　sea；　and　a　cold　and
stormy　one；　separates　them。〃

The　vases　on　the　mantelshelf　had　given　place　to　candelabra；　no　doubt
to　deprive　me　of　the　pleasure　of　filling　them　with　flowers；　I　found
them　later　in　my　own　room。　When　my　servant　arrived　I　went　out　to　give
him　some　orders；　he　had　brought　me　certain　things　I　wished　to　place　in
my　room。

〃Felix；〃　said　the　countess；　〃do　not　make　a　mistake。　My　aunt's　old　room
is　now　Madeleine's。　Yours　is　over　the　count's。〃

Though　guilty；　I　had　a　heart；　those　words　were　dagger　thrusts　coldly
given　at　its　tenderest　spot；　for　which　she　seemed　to　aim。　Moral
sufferings　are　not　fixed　quantities；　they　depend　on　the　sensitiveness
of　souls。　The　countess　had　trod　each　round　of　the　ladder　of　pain；　but；
for　that　very　reason；　the　kindest　of　women　was　now　as　cruel　as　she　was
once　beneficent。　I　looked　at　Henriette；　but　she　averted　her　head。　I
went　to　my　new　room；　which　was　pretty；　white　and　green。　Once　there　I
burst　into　tears。　Henriette　heard　me　as　she　entered　with　a　bunch　of
flowers　in　her　hand。

〃Henriette；〃　I　said；　〃will　you　never　forgive　a　wrong　that　is　indeed
excusable？〃

〃Do　not　call　me　Henriette；〃　she　said。　〃She　no　longer　exists；　poor
soul；　but　you　may　feel　sure　of　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　a　devoted　friend；
who　will　listen　to　you　and　who　will　love　you。　Felix；　we　will　talk　of
these　things　later。　If　you　have　still　any　tenderness　for　me　let　me
grow　accustomed　to　seeing　you。　Whenever　words　will　not　rend　my　heart；
if　the　day　should　ever　come　when　I　recover　courage；　I　will　speak　to
you；　but　not　till　then。　Look　at　the　valley；〃　she　said；　pointing　to　the
Indre；　〃it　hurts　me；　I　love　it　still。〃

〃Ah；　perish　England　and　all　her　women！　I　will　send　my　resignation　to
the　king；　I　will　live　and　die　here；　pardoned。〃

〃No；　love　her；　love　that　woman！　Henriette　is　not。　This　is　no　play；　and
you　should　know　it。〃

She　left　the　room；　betraying　by　the　tone　of　her　last　words　the　extent
of　her　wounds。　I　ran　after　her　and　held　her　back；　saying；　〃Do　you　no
longer　love　me？〃

〃You　have　done　me　more　harm　than　all　my　other　troubles　put　together。
To…day　I　suffer　less；　therefore　I　love　you　less。　Be　kind；　do　not
increase　my　pain；　if　you　suffer；　remember　thatIlive。〃

She　withdrew　her　hand；　which　I　held；　cold；　motionless；　but　moist；　in
mine；　and　darted　like　an　arrow　through　the　corridor　in　which　this
scene　of　actual　tragedy　took　place。

At　dinner；　the　count　subjected　me　to　a　torture　I　had　little　expected。
〃So　the　Marchioness　of　Dudley　is　not　in　Paris？〃　he　said。

I　blushed　excessively；　but　answered；　〃No。〃

〃She　is　not　in　Tours；〃　continued　the　count。

〃She　is　not　divorced；　and　she　can　go　back　to　England。　Her　husband
would　be　very　glad　if　she　would　return　to　him；〃　I　said；　eagerly。

〃Has　she　children？〃　asked　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　in　a　changed　voice。

〃Two　sons；〃　I　replied。

〃Where　are　they？〃

〃In　England；　with　their　father。〃

〃Come；　Felix；〃　interposed　the　count；　〃be　frank；　is　she　as　handsome　as
they　say？〃

〃How　can　you　ask　him　such　a　question？〃　cried　the　countess。　〃Is　not　the
woman　you　love　always　the　handsomest　of　women？〃

〃Yes；　always；〃　I　said；　firmly；　with　a　glance　which　she　could　not
sustain。

〃You　are　a　happy　fellow；〃　said　the　count；　〃yes；　a　very　happy　one。　Ha！
in　my　young　days；　I　should　have　gone　mad　over　such　a　conquest〃

〃Hush！〃　said　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　reminding　the　count　of　Madeleine　by　a
look。

〃I　am　not　a　child；〃　he　said。

When　we　left　the　table　I　followed　the　countess　to　the　terrace。　When　we
were　alone　she　exclaimed；　〃How　is　it　possible　that　some　women　can
sacrifice　their　children　to　a　man？　Wealth；　position；　the　world；　I　can
conceive　of；　eternity？　yes；　possibly；　but　children！　deprive　one's　self
of　one's　children！〃

〃Yes；　and　such　women　would　give　even　more　if　they　had　it；　they
sacrifice　everything。〃

The　world　was　suddenly　reversed　before　her；　her　ideas　became　confused。
The　grandeur　of　that　thought　struck　her；　a　suspicion　entered　her　mind
that　sacrifice；　immolation　justified　happiness；　the　echo　of　her　own
inward　cry　for　love　came　back　to　her；　she　stood　dumb　in　presence　of
her　wasted　life。　Yes；　for　a　moment　horrible　doubts　possessed　her；　then
she　rose；　grand　and　saintly；　her　head　erect。

〃Love　her　well；　Felix；〃　she　said；　with　tears　in　her　eyes；　〃she　shall
be　my　happy　sister。　I　will　forgive　her　the　harm　she　has　done　me　if　she
gives　you　what　you　could　not　have　here。　You　are　right；　I　have　never
told　you　that　I　loved　you；　and　I　never　have　loved　you　as　the　world
loves。　But　if　she　is　a　mother　how　can　she　love　you　so？〃

〃Dear　saint；〃　I　answered；　〃I　must　be　less　moved　than　I　am　now；　before
I　can　explain　to　you　how　it　is　that　you　soar　victoriously　above　her。
She　is　a　woman　of　earth；　the　daughter　of　decaying　races；　you　are　the
child　of　heaven；　an　angel　worthy　of　worship；　you　have　my　heart；　she　my
flesh　only。　She　knows　this　and　it　fills　her　with　despair；　she　would
change　parts　with　you　even　though　the　cruellest　martyrdom　were　the
price　of　the　change。　But　all　is　irremediable。　To　you　the　soul；　to　you
the　thoughts；　the　love　that　is　pure；　to　you　youth　and　old　age；　to　her
the　desires　and　joys　of　passing　passion；　to　you　remembrance　forever；
to　her　oblivion〃

〃Tell　me；　tell　me　that　again；　oh；　my　friend！〃　she　turned　to　a　bench
and　sat　down；　bursting　into　tears。　〃If　that　be　so；　Felix；　virtue；
purity　of　life；　a　mother's　love；　are　not　mistakes。　Oh；　pour　that　balm
upon　my　wounds！　Repeat　the　words　which　bear　me　back　to　heaven；　where
once　I　longed　to　rise　with　you。　Bless　me　by　a　look；　by　a　sacred　word；
I　forgive　you　for　the　sufferings　you　have　caused　me　the　last　two
months。〃

〃Henriette；　there　are　mysteries　in　the　life　of　men　of　which　you　know
nothing。　I　met　you　at　an　age　when　the　feelings　of　the　heart　stifle　the
desires　implanted　in　our　nature；　but　many　scenes；　the　memory　of　which
will　kindle　my　soul　to　the　hour　of　death；　must　have　told　you　that　this
age　was　drawing　to　a　close；　and　it　was　your　constant　triumph　still　to
prolong　its　mute　delights。　A　love　without　possession　is　maintained　by
the　exasperation　of　desire；　but　there　comes　a　moment　when　all　is
suffering　within　usfor　in　this　we　have　no　resemblance　to　you。　We
possess　a　power　we　cannot　abdicate；　or　we　cease　to　be　men。　Deprived　of
the　nourishment　it　needs；　the　heart　feeds　upon　itself；　feeling　an
exhaustion　which　is　not　death；　but　which　precedes　it。　Nature　cannot
long　be　silenced；　some　trifling　accident　awakens　it　to　a　violence　that
seems　like　madness。　No；　I　have　not　loved；　but　I　have　thirsted　in　the
desert。〃

〃The　desert！〃　she　said　bitterly；　pointing　to　the　valley。　〃Ah！〃　she
exclaimed；　〃how　he　reason