the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第9部分

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features　of　the　table；　but　flowers　adorned　the　porcelain　vases　and
overhung　the　gilding　of　their　fluted　edges。　I　delighted　in　these
quaint　old　things。　I　thought　the　Reveillon　paper　with　its　flowery
garlands　beautiful。　The　sweet　content　that　filled　my　sails　hindered　me
from　perceiving　the　obstacles　which　a　life　so　uniform；　so　unvarying　in
solitude　of　the　country　placed　between　her　and　me。　I　was　near　her；
sitting　at　her　right　hand；　serving　her　with　wine。　Yes；　unhoped…for
joy！　I　touched　her　dress；　I　ate　her　bread。　At　the　end　of　three　hours
my　life　had　mingled　with　her　life！　That　terrible　kiss　had　bound　us　to
each　other　in　a　secret　which　inspired　us　with　mutual　shame。　A　glorious
self…abasement　took　possession　of　me。　I　studied　to　please　the　count；　I
fondled　the　dogs；　I　would　gladly　have　gratified　every　desire　of　the
children；　I　would　have　brought　them　hoops　and　marbles　and　played　horse
with　them；　I　was　even　provoked　that　they　did　not　already　fasten　upon
me　as　a　thing　of　their　own。　Love　has　intuitions　like　those　of　genius；
and　I　dimly　perceived　that　gloom；　discontent；　hostility　would　destroy
my　footing　in　that　household。

The　dinner　passed　with　inward　happiness　on　my　part。　Feeling　that　I　was
there；　under　her　roof；　I　gave　no　heed　to　her　obvious　coldness；　nor　to
the　count's　indifference　masked　by　his　politeness。　Love；　like　life；
has　an　adolescence　during　which　period　it　suffices　unto　itself。　I　made
several　stupid　replies　induced　by　the　tumults　of　passion；　but　no　one
perceived　their　cause；　not　even　SHE；　who　knew　nothing　of　love。　The
rest　of　my　visit　was　a　dream；　a　dream　which　did　not　cease　until　by
moonlight　on　that　warm　and　balmy　night　I　recrossed　the　Indre；　watching
the　white　visions　that　embellished　meadows；　shores；　and　hills；　and
listening　to　the　clear　song；　the　matchless　note；　full　of　deep
melancholy　and　uttered　only　in　still　weather；　of　a　tree…frog　whose
scientific　name　is　unknown　to　me。　Since　that　solemn　evening　I　have
never　heard　it　without　infinite　delight。　A　sense　came　to　me　then　of
the　marble　wall　against　which　my　feelings　had　hitherto　dashed
themselves。　Would　it　be　always　so？　I　fancied　myself　under　some　fatal
spell；　the　unhappy　events　of　my　past　life　rose　up　and　struggled　with
the　purely　personal　pleasure　I　had　just　enjoyed。　Before　reaching
Frapesle　I　turned　to　look　at　Clochegourde　and　saw　beneath　its　windows
a　little　boat；　called　in　Touraine　a　punt；　fastened　to　an　ash…tree　and
swaying　on　the　water。　This　punt　belonged　to　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　who
used　it　for　fishing。

〃Well；〃　said　Monsieur　de　Chessel；　when　we　were　out　of　ear…shot。　〃I
needn't　ask　if　you　found　those　shoulders；　I　must；　however；
congratulate　you　on　the　reception　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　gave　you。　The
devil！　you　stepped　into　his　heart　at　once。〃

These　words　followed　by　those　I　have　already　quoted　to　you　raised　my
spirits。　I　had　not　as　yet　said　a　word；　and　Monsieur　de　Chessel　may
have　attributed　my　silence　to　happiness。

〃How　do　you　mean？〃　I　asked。

〃He　never；　to　my　knowledge；　received　any　one　so　well。〃

〃I　will　admit　that　I　am　rather　surprised　myself；〃　I　said；　conscious　of
a　certain　bitterness　underlying　my　companion's　speech。

Though　I　was　too　inexpert　in　social　matters　to　understand　its　cause；　I
was　much　struck　by　the　feeling　Monsieur　de　Chessel　betrayed。　His　real
name　was　Durand；　but　he　had　had　the　weakness　to　discard　the　name　of　a
worthy　father；　a　merchant　who　had　made　a　large　fortune　under　the
Revolution。　His　wife　was　sole　heiress　of　the　Chessels；　an　old
parliamentary　family　under　Henry　IV。；　belonging　to　the　middle　classes；
as　did　most　of　the　Parisian　magistrates。　Ambitious　of　higher　flights
Monsieur　de　Chessel　endeavored　to　smother　the　original　Durand。　He
first　called　himself　Durand　de　Chessel；　then　D。　de　Chessel；　and　that
made　him　Monsieur　de　Chessel。　Under　the　Restoration　he　entailed　an
estate　with　the　title　of　count　in　virtue　of　letters…patent　from　Louis
XVIII。　His　children　reaped　the　fruits　of　his　audacity　without　knowing
what　it　cost　him　in　sarcastic　comments。　Parvenus　are　like　monkeys；
whose　cleverness　they　possess；　we　watch　them　climbing；　we　admire　their
agility；　but　once　at　the　summit　we　see　only　their　absurd　and
contemptible　parts。　The　reverse　side　of　my　host's　character　was　made
up　of　pettiness　with　the　addition　of　envy。　The　peerage　and　he　were　on
diverging　lines。　To　have　an　ambition　and　gratify　it　shows　merely　the
insolence　of　strength；　but　to　live　below　one's　avowed　ambition　is　a
constant　source　of　ridicule　to　petty　minds。　Monsieur　de　Chessel　did
not　advance　with　the　straightforward　step　of　a　strong　man。　Twice
elected　deputy；　twice　defeated；　yesterday　director…general；　to…day
nothing　at　all；　not　even　prefect；　his　successes　and　his　defeats　had
injured　his　nature；　and　given　him　the　sourness　of　invalided　ambition。
Though　a　brave　man　and　a　witty　one　and　capable　of　great　things；　envy；
which　is　the　root　of　existence　in　Touraine；　the　inhabitants　of　which
employ　their　native　genius　in　jealousy　of　all　things；　injured　him　in
upper　social　circles；　where　a　dissatisfied　man；　frowning　at　the
success　of　others；　slow　at　compliments　and　ready　at　epigram；　seldom
succeeds。　Had　he　sought　less　he　might　perhaps　have　obtained　more；　but
unhappily　he　had　enough　genuine　superiority　to　make　him　wish　to
advance　in　his　own　way。

At　this　particular　time　Monsieur　de　Chessel's　ambition　had　a　second
dawn。　Royalty　smiled　upon　him；　and　he　was　now　affecting　the　grand
manner。　Still　he　was；　I　must　say；　most　kind　to　me；　and　he　pleased　me
for　the　very　simple　reason　that　with　him　I　had　found　peace　and　rest
for　the　first　time。　The　interest；　possibly　very　slight；　which　he
showed　in　my　affairs；　seemed　to　me；　lonely　and　rejected　as　I　was；　an
image　of　paternal　love。　His　hospitable　care　contrasted　so　strongly
with　the　neglect　to　which　I　was　accustomed；　that　I　felt　a　childlike
gratitude　to　the　home　where　no　fetters　bound　me　and　where　I　was
welcomed　and　even　courted。

The　owners　of　Frapesle　are　so　associated　with　the　dawn　of　my　life's
happiness　that　I　mingle　them　in　all　those　memories　I　love　to　revive。
Later；　and　more　especially　in　connection　with　his　letters…patent；　I
had　the　pleasure　of　doing　my　host　some　service。　Monsieur　de　Chessel
enjoyed　his　wealth　with　an　ostentation　that　gave　umbrage　to　certain　of
his　neighbors。　He　was　able　to　vary　and　renew　his　fine　horses　and
elegant　equipages；　his　wife　dressed　exquisitely；　he　received　on　a
grand　scale；　his　servants　were　more　numerous　than　his　neighbors
approved；　for　all　of　which　he　was　said　to　be　aping　princes。　The
Frapesle　estate　is　immense。　Before　such　luxury　as　this　the　Comte　de
Mortsauf；　with　one　family　cariole；which　in　Touraine　is　something
between　a　coach　without　springs　and　a　post…chaise；forced　by　limited
means　to　let　or　farm　Clochegourde；　was　Tourangean　up　to　the　time　when
royal　favor　restored　the　family　to　a　distinction　possibly　unlooked
for。　His　greeting　to　me；　the　younger　son　of　a　ruined　family　whose
escutcheon　dated　back　to　the　Crusades；　was　intended　to　show　contempt
for　the　large　fortune　and　to　belittle　the　possessions；　the　woods；　the
arable　lands；　the　meadows；　of　a　neighbor　who　was　not　of　noble　birth。
Monsieur　de　Chessel　fully　understood　this。　They　always　met　politely；
but　there　was　none　of　that　daily　intercourse　or　that　agreeable
intimacy　which　ought　to　have　existed　between　Clochegourde　and
Frapesle；　two　estates　separated　only　by　the　Indre；　and　whose
mistresses　could　have　beckoned　to　each　other　from　their　windows。

Jealousy；　however；　was　not　the　sole　reason　for　the　solitude　in　which
the　Count　de　Mortsauf　lived。　His　early　education　was　that　of　the
children　of　great　families；an　incomplete　and　superficial　instruction
as　to　knowledge；　but　supplemented　by　the　training　of　society；　the
habits　of　a　court　life；　and　the　exercise　of　important　duties　under　the
crown　or　in　eminent　offices。　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　had　emigrated　at　the
very　moment　when　the　second　stage　of　his　education　was　about　to　begin；
and　accordingly　that　training　was　lacking　to　him。　He　was　one　of　those
who　believed　in　the　immediate　restoration　of　the　monarchy；　with　that
conviction　in　his　mind；　his　exile　was　a　long　and　miserable　period　of
idleness。　When　the　army　of　Conde；　which　his　courage　led　him　to　join
with　the　utmost　devotion；　was　disbanded；　he　expected　to　find　some
other　post　under　the　white　flag；　and　never　sought；　like　other
emigrants；　to　take　up　an　industry。　Perhaps　he　had　not　the　sort　of
courage　that　could　lay　aside　his　name　and　earn　his　living　in　the　sweat
of　a　toil　he　despised。　His　hopes；　daily　postponed　to　the　morrow；　and
possibly　a　scruple　of　honor；　kept　him　from　offering　his　services　to
foreign　powers。　Trials　undermined　his　courage。　Long　tramps　afoot　on
insufficient　nourishment；　and　above　all；　on　hopes　betrayed；　injured
his　health　and　discouraged　his　mind。　By　degrees　he　became　utterly
destitute。　If　to　some　men　misery　is　a　tonic；　on　others　it　acts　as　a
dissolvent；　and　the　count　was　of　the　latter。

Reflecting　on　the　life　of　this　poor　Touraine　gentleman；　tramping　and
sleeping　along　the　highroads　of　Hungary；　sharing　the　mutton　of　Prince
Esterhazy's　shepherds；　from　whom　the　foot…worn　traveller　begged　the
food　he　would　not；　as　a　gentleman；　have　accepted　at　the　table　of　the
master；　and　refusing　again　and　again　to　do　service　to　the　enemies　of
France；　I　never　found　it　in　my　heart　to　feel　bitterness　against　him；
even　when　I　saw　him　at　his　worst　in　after　days。　The　natural　gaiety　of
a　Frenchman　and　a　Tourangean　soon　deserted　him；　he　became　morose；　fell
ill；　and　was　charitably　cared　for　in　some　German　hospital。　His　disease
was　an　inflammation　of　the　mesenteric　membrane；　which　is　often　fatal；
and　is　liable；　even　if　cured；　to　change　the　constitution　and　produce
hypochondria。　His　love　affairs；　carefully　buried　out　of　sight　and
which　I　alone　discovered；　were　low…lived；　and　not　only　destroyed　his
health　but　ruined　his　future。

After　twelve　years　of　great　misery　he　made　his　way　to　France；　under
the　decree　of　the　Emperor　which　permitted　the　return　of　the　emigrants。
As　the　wretched　wayfarer　crossed　the　Rhine　and　saw　the　tower　of
Strasburg　against　the　evening　sky；　his　strength　gave　way。　〃'France！
France！'　I　cried。　'I　see　France！'〃　（he　said　to　me）