fennel and rue-第16部分

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but　he；　too；　wondered　and　doubted。

The　girl；　having　got　her　courage　together；　fluttered　with　it　from　her
place　round　to　the　ghost's　in　a　haste　that　expressed　a　fear　that　it　might
escape　her　if　she　delayed　to　put　it　to　the　test。　　The　phantom　was　already
there；　as　if　it　had　waited　her　in　the　curiosity　that　followed　her。　　They
were　taking　each　other　seriously；　the　girl　and　the　ghost；　and　if　the
ghost　had　been　a　veridical　phantom；　in　which　she　could　have　believed　with
her　whole　soul；　the　girl　could　not　have　entreated　it　more　earnestly；　more
simply。

She　bent　forward；　in　her　slim；　tall　figure；　with　her　hands　outstretched；
and　with　her　tender　voice　breaking　at　times　in　her　entreaty。　　〃Oh；　I
don't　know　how　to　begin；〃　she　said；　quite　as　if　she　and　the　phantom　were
alone　together；　and　she　had　forgotten　its　supernatural　awfulness　in　a
sense　of　its　human　quality。　　〃But　you　will　understand；　won't　you！　　You'll
think　it　very　strange；　and　it　is　very　unlike　the　others；　but　if　I'm　going
to　be　serious〃

The　white　figure　stood　motionless；　but　Verrian　interpreted　its　quiet　as　a
kindly　intelligence；　and　the　girl　made　a　fresh　start　in　a　note　a　little
more　piteous　than　before。　　〃It's　about　thethe　truth。　　Do　you　think　if
sometimes　we　don't　tell　it　exactly；　but　we　wish　we　had　very；　very　much；
it　will　come　round　somehow　the　same　as　if　we　had　told　it？〃

〃I　don't　understand；〃　the　phantom　answered。　　〃Say　it　againor
differently。〃

〃Can　our　repentance　undo　it；　or　make　the　falsehood　over　into　the　truth？〃

〃Never！〃　the　ghost　answered；　with　a　passion　that　thrilled　to　Verrian's
heart。

〃Oh；　dear！〃　the　girl　said；　and　then；　as　if　she　had　been　going　to
continue；　she　stopped。

〃You've　still　got　your　half…question；　Miss　Andrews；〃　Bushwick　interposed。

〃Even　if　we　didn't　mean　it　to　deceive　harmfully？〃　the　girl　pursued。
〃If　it　was　just　on　impulse；　something　we　couldn't　seem　to　help；　and　we
didn't　see　it　in　its　true　light　at　the　time〃

The　ghost　made　no　answer。　　It　stood　motionless。

〃It　is　offended；〃　Bushwick　said；　without　knowing　the　Shakespearian　words。　
〃You've　asked　it　three　times　half　a　question；　Miss　Andrews。　　Now；　Mr。
Verrian；　it's　your　turn。　　You　can　ask　it　just　one…quarter　of　a　question。　
Miss　Andrews　has　used　up　the　rest　of　your　share。〃

Verrian　rose　awkwardly　and　stood　a　long　moment　before　his　chair。　　Then　he
dropped　back　again；　saying；　dryly；　〃I　don't　think　I　want　to　ask　it
anything。〃

The　phantom　sank　straight　down　as　if　sinking　through　the　floor；　but　lay
there　like　a　white　shawl　trailed　along　the　bottom　of　the　dark　curtain。

〃And　is　that　all？〃　Miss　Macroyd　asked　Verrian。　　〃I　was　just　getting　up　my
courage　to　go　forward。　　But　now；　I　suppose〃

〃Oh；　dear！〃　Miss　Andrews　called　out。　　〃Perhaps　it's　fainted。　　Hadn't　we
better〃

There　were　formless　cries　from　the　women；　and　the　men　made　a　crooked　rush
forward；　in　which　Verrian　did　not　join。　　He　remained　where　he　had　risen；
with　Miss　Macroyd　beside　him。

〃Perhaps　it's　only　a　coup　de　theatre！〃　she　said；　with　her　laugh。　　〃Better
wait。〃

Bushwick　was　gathering　the　prostrate　figure　up。　　〃She　has　fainted！〃　he
called。　　〃Get　some　water；　somebody！〃




XIX。

The　early　Monday　morning　train　which　brought　Verrian　up　to　town　was　so
very　early　that　he　could　sit　down　to　breakfast　with　his　mother　only　a
little　later　than　their　usual　hour。

She　had　called　joyfully　to　him　from　her　room；　when　she　heard　the　rattling
of　his　key　as　he　let　himself　into　the　apartment；　and；　after　an　exchange
of　greetings；　shouted　back　and　forth　before　they　saw　each　other；　they
could　come　at　once　to　the　history　of　his　absence　over　their　coffee。
〃You　must　have　had　a　very　good　time；　to　stay　so　long。　　After　you　wrote
that　you　would　not　be　back　Thursday；　I　expected　it　would　be　Saturday　till
I　got　your　telegram。　　But　I'm　glad　you　stayed。　　You　certainly　needed　the
rest。〃

〃Yes；　if　those　things　are　ever　a　rest。〃　　He　looked　down　at　his　cup　while
he　stirred　the　coffee　in　it；　and　she　studied　his　attitude；　since　she
could　not　see　his　face　fully；　for　the　secret　of　any　vital　change　that
might　have　come　upon　him。　　It　could　be　that　in　the　interval　since　she　had
seen　him　he　had　seen　the　woman　who　was　to　take　him　from　her。　　She　was
always　preparing　herself　for　that；　knowing　that　it　must　come　almost　as
certainly　as　death；　and　knowing　that　with　all　her　preparation　she　should
not　be　ready　for　it。　　〃I've　got　rather　a　long　story　to　tell　you　and　
rather　a　strange　story；〃　he　said；　lifting　his　head　and　looking　round；　but
not　so　impersonally　that　his　mother　did　not　know　well　enough　to　say　to
the　Swedish　serving…woman：

〃You　needn't　stay；　Margit。　　I'll　give　Mr。　Philip　his　breakfast。　　Well！〃
she　added；　when　they　were　alone。

〃Well；〃　he　returned；　with　a　smile　that　she　knew　he　was　forcing；　〃I　have
seen　the　girl　that　wrote　that　letter。〃

〃Not　Jerusha　Brown？〃

〃Not　Jerusha　Brown；　but　the　girl　all　the　same。〃

〃Now　go　on；　Philip；　and　don't　miss　a　single　word！〃　she　commanded　him；
with　an　imperious　breathlessness。　　〃You　know　I　won't　hurry　you　or
interrupt　you；　but　you　mustyou　really　must…tell　me　everything。　　Don't
leave　out　the　slightest　detail。〃

〃I　won't；〃　he　said。　　But　she　was　aware；　from　time　to　time；　that　she　was
keeping　her　word　better　than　he　was　keeping　his；　in　his　account　of
meeting　Miss　Shirley　and　all　the　following　events。

〃You　can　imagine；〃　he　said；　〃what　a　sensation　the　swooning　made；　and　the
commotion　that　followed　it。〃

〃Yes；　I　can　imagine　that；〃　she　answered。　　But　she　was　yet　so　faithful
that　she　would　not　ask　him　to　go　on。

He　continued；　unasked；　〃I　don't　know　just　how；　now；　to　account　for　its
coming　into　my　head　that　it　was　Miss　Andrews　who　was　my　unknown
correspondent。　　I　suppose　I've　always　unconsciously　expected　to　meet　that
girl；　and　Miss　Andrews's　hypothetical　case　was　psychologically　so
parallel〃

〃Yes；　yes！〃

〃And　I've　sometimes　been　afraid　that　I　judged　it　too　harshlythat　it　was
a　mere　girlish　freak　without　any　sort　of　serious　import。〃

〃I　was　sometimes　afraid　so；　Philip。　　But〃

〃And　I　don't　believe　now　that　the　hypothetical　case　brought　any
intolerable　stress　of　conscience　upon　Miss　Shirley；　or　that　she　fainted
from　any　cause　but　exhaustion　from　the　general　ordeal。　　She　was　still
weak　from　the　sickness　she　had　been　throughtoo　weak　to　bear　the　strain
of　the　work　she　had　taken　up。　　Of　course；　the　catastrophe　gave　the　whole
surface　situation　away；　and　I　must　say　that　those　rather　banal　young
people　behaved　very　humanely　about　it。　　There　was　nothing　but　interest　of
the　nicest　kind；　and；　if　she　is　going　on　with　her　career；　it　will　be　easy
enough　for　her　to　find　engagements　after　this。〃

〃Why　shouldn't　she　go　on？〃　his　mother　asked；　with　a　suspicion　which　she
kept　well　out　of　sight。

〃Well；　as　well　as　she　could　explain　afterwards；　the　catastrophe　took　her
work　out　of　the　category　of　business　and　made　her　acceptance　in　it　a
matter　of　sentiment。〃

〃She　explained　it　to　you　herself？〃

〃Yes；　the　general　sympathy　had　penetrated　to　Mrs。　Westangle；　though　I
don't　say　that　she　had　been　more　than　negatively　indifferent　to　Miss
Shirley's　claim　on　her　before。　　As　it　was；　she　sent　for　me　to　her　room
the　next　morning；　and　I　found　Miss　Shirley　alone　there。　　She　said　Mrs。
Westangle　would　be　down　in　a　moment。〃

Now；　indeed；　Mrs。　Verrian　could　not　govern　herself　from　saying；　〃I　don't
like　it；　Philip。〃

〃I　knew　you　wouldn't。　　It　was　what　I　said　to　myself　at　the　time。　　You
were　so　present　with　me　that　I　seemed　to　have　you　there　chaperoning　the
interview。〃　　His　mother　shrugged；　and　he　went　on：　〃She　said　she　wished　to
tell　me　something　first；　and　then　she　said；　〃I　want　to　do　it　while　I　have
the　courage；　if　it's　courage；　perhaps　it's　just　desperation。　　I　am
Jerusha　Brown。〃

His　mother　began；　〃But　you　said〃　and　then　stopped　herself。

〃I　know　that　I　said　she　wasn't；　but　she　explained；　while　I　sat　there
rather　mum；　that　there　was　really　another　girl；　and　that　the　other　girl's
name　was　really　Jerusha　Brown。　　She　was　the　daughter　of　the　postmaster　in
the　village　where　Miss　Shirley　was　passing　the　summer。　　In　fact；　Miss
Shirley　was　boarding　in　the　postmaster's　family；　and　the　girls　had　become
very　friendly。　　They　were　reading　my　story　together；　and　talking　about
it；　and　trying　to　guess　how　it　would　come　out；　just　as　the　letter　said；
and　they　simultaneously　hit　upon　the　notion　of　writing　to　me。　　It　seemed
to　them　that　it　would　be　a　good　jokeI'm　not　defending　it；　mother；　and　I
must　say　Miss　Shirley　didn't　defend　it；　eitherto　work　upon　my　feelings
in　the　way　they　tried；　and　they　didn't　realize　what　they　had　done　till
Armiger's　letter　came。　　It　almost　drove　them　wild；　she　said；　but　they　had
a　lucid　interval；　and　they　took　the　letter　to　the　girl's　father　and　told
him　what　they　had　done。　　He　was　awfully　severe　with　them　for　their
foolishness；　and　said　they　must　write　to　Armiger　at　once　and　confess　the
fact。　　Then　they　said　they　had　written　already；　and　showed　him　the　second
letter；　and　explained　they　had　decided　to　let　Miss　Brawn　write　it　in　her
person　alone　for　the　reason　she　gave　in　it。　　But　Miss　Shirley　told　him
she　was　ready　to　take　her　full　share　of　the　blame；　and；　if　anything　came
of　it；　she　authorized　him　to　put　the　whole　blame　on　her。〃

Verrian　made　a　pause　which　his　mother　took　for　invitation　or　permission
to　ask；　〃And　was　he　satisfied　with　that？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　I　wasn't；　and　it's　only　just　to　Miss　Shirley　to　say　that
she　wasn't；　either。　　She　didn't　try　to　justify　it　to　me；　she　merely　said
she　was　so　frightened　that　she　couldn't　have　done　anything。　　She　may　have
realized　more　than　the　Brown　girl　what　they　had　done。〃

〃The　postmaster；　did　he　regard　it　as　anything　worse　than　foolishness？〃

〃I　don't　believe　he　did。　　At　any　rate；　he　was　satisfied　with　what　his
daughter　had　done　in　owning　up。〃

〃Well；　I　always　liked　that　girl's　letter。　　And　did　they　show　him　your
letter？〃

〃It　seems　that　they　did。〃

〃And　what　did　he　say　about　that？〃

〃I　suppose；　what　I　deserved。　　Miss　Shirley　wouldn't　say；　explicitly。　　He
wanted　to　answer　it；　but　they　wouldn't　let　him。　　I　don't　know　but　I
should　feel　better　if　he　had。　　I　haven't　been　proud　of　that　letter　of
mine　as　time　has　gone　on；　mother；　I　think　I　behaved　ver