the wreck of the golden mary-第6部分

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seas；　and　still　we　perishing　people　rose　and　fell　with　the　great

waves。



Sixteen　nights　and　fifteen　days；　twenty　nights　and　nineteen　days；

twenty…four　nights　and　twenty…three　days。　　So　the　time　went　on。

Disheartening　as　I　knew　that　our　progress；　or　want　of　progress；　must

be；　I　never　deceived　them　as　to　my　calculations　of　it。　　In　the　first

place；　I　felt　that　we　were　all　too　near　eternity　for　deceit；　in　the

second　place；　I　knew　that　if　I　failed；　or　died；　the　man　who　followed

me　must　have　a　knowledge　of　the　true　state　of　things　to　begin　upon。

When　I　told　them　at　noon；　what　I　reckoned　we　had　made　or　lost；　they

generally　received　what　I　said　in　a　tranquil　and　resigned　manner；

and　always　gratefully　towards　me。　　It　was　not　unusual　at　any　time　of

the　day　for　some　one　to　burst　out　weeping　loudly　without　any　new

cause；　and；　when　the　burst　was　over；　to　calm　down　a　little　better

than　before。　　I　had　seen　exactly　the　same　thing　in　a　house　of

mourning。



During　the　whole　of　this　time；　old　Mr。　Rarx　had　had　his　fits　of

calling　out　to　me　to　throw　the　gold　（always　the　gold！）　overboard；

and　of　heaping　violent　reproaches　upon　me　for　not　having　saved　the

child；　but　now；　the　food　being　all　gone；　and　I　having　nothing　left

to　serve　out　but　a　bit　of　coffee…berry　now　and　then；　he　began　to　be

too　weak　to　do　this；　and　consequently　fell　silent。　　Mrs。　Atherfield

and　Miss　Coleshaw　generally　lay；　each　with　an　arm　across　one　of　my

knees；　and　her　head　upon　it。　　They　never　complained　at　all。　　Up　to

the　time　of　her　child's　death；　Mrs。　Atherfield　had　bound　up　her　own

beautiful　hair　every　day；　and　I　took　particular　notice　that　this　was

always　before　she　sang　her　song　at　night；　when　everyone　looked　at

her。　　But　she　never　did　it　after　the　loss　of　her　darling；　and　it

would　have　been　now　all　tangled　with　dirt　and　wet；　but　that　Miss

Coleshaw　was　careful　of　it　long　after　she　was　herself；　and　would

sometimes　smooth　it　down　with　her　weak　thin　hands。



We　were　past　mustering　a　story　now；　but　one　day；　at　about　this

period；　I　reverted　to　the　superstition　of　old　Mr。　Rarx；　concerning

the　Golden　Lucy；　and　told　them　that　nothing　vanished　from　the　eye　of

God；　though　much　might　pass　away　from　the　eyes　of　men。　　〃We　were　all

of　us；〃　says　I；　〃children　once；　and　our　baby　feet　have　strolled　in

green　woods　ashore；　and　our　baby　hands　have　gathered　flowers　in

gardens；　where　the　birds　were　singing。　　The　children　that　we　were；

are　not　lost　to　the　great　knowledge　of　our　Creator。　　Those　innocent

creatures　will　appear　with　us　before　Him；　and　plead　for　us。　　What　we

were　in　the　best　time　of　our　generous　youth　will　arise　and　go　with

us　too。　　The　purest　part　of　our　lives　will　not　desert　us　at　the　pass

to　which　all　of　us　here　present　are　gliding。　　What　we　were　then；

will　be　as　much　in　existence　before　Him；　as　what　we　are　now。〃　　They

were　no　less　comforted　by　this　consideration；　than　I　was　myself；　and

Miss　Coleshaw；　drawing　my　ear　nearer　to　her　lips；　said；　〃Captain

Ravender；　I　was　on　my　way　to　marry　a　disgraced　and　broken　man；　whom

I　dearly　loved　when　he　was　honourable　and　good。　　Your　words　seem　to

have　come　out　of　my　own　poor　heart。〃　　She　pressed　my　hand　upon　it；

smiling。



Twenty…seven　nights　and　twenty…six　days。　　We　were　in　no　want　of

rain…water；　but　we　had　nothing　else。　　And　yet；　even　now；　I　never

turned　my　eyes　upon　a　waking　face　but　it　tried　to　brighten　before

mine。　　O；　what　a　thing　it　is；　in　a　time　of　danger　and　in　the

presence　of　death；　the　shining　of　a　face　upon　a　face！　　I　have　heard

it　broached　that　orders　should　be　given　in　great　new　ships　by

electric　telegraph。　　I　admire　machinery　as　much　is　any　man；　and　am

as　thankful　to　it　as　any　man　can　be　for　what　it　does　for　us。　　But　it

will　never　be　a　substitute　for　the　face　of　a　man；　with　his　soul　in

it；　encouraging　another　man　to　be　brave　and　true。　　Never　try　it　for

that。　　It　will　break　down　like　a　straw。



I　now　began　to　remark　certain　changes　in　myself　which　I　did　not

like。　　They　caused　me　much　disquiet。　　I　often　saw　the　Golden　Lucy　in

the　air　above　the　boat。　　I　often　saw　her　I　have　spoken　of　before；

sitting　beside　me。　　I　saw　the　Golden　Mary　go　down；　as　she　really　had

gone　down；　twenty　times　in　a　day。　　And　yet　the　sea　was　mostly；　to　my

thinking；　not　sea　neither；　but　moving　country　and　extraordinary

mountainous　regions；　the　like　of　which　have　never　been　beheld。　　I

felt　it　time　to　leave　my　last　words　regarding　John　Steadiman；　in

case　any　lips　should　last　out　to　repeat　them　to　any　living　ears。　　I

said　that　John　had　told　me　（as　he　had　on　deck）　that　he　had　sung　out

〃Breakers　ahead！〃　the　instant　they　were　audible；　and　had　tried　to

wear　ship；　but　she　struck　before　it　could　be　done。　　（His　cry；　I　dare

say；　had　made　my　dream。）　　I　said　that　the　circumstances　were

altogether　without　warning；　and　out　of　any　course　that　could　have

been　guarded　against；　that　the　same　loss　would　have　happened　if　I

had　been　in　charge；　and　that　John　was　not　to　blame；　but　from　first

to　last　had　done　his　duty　nobly；　like　the　man　he　was。　　I　tried　to

write　it　down　in　my　pocket…book；　but　could　make　no　words；　though　I

knew　what　the　words　were　that　I　wanted　to　make。　　When　it　had　come　to

that；　her　handsthough　she　was　dead　so　longlaid　me　down　gently　in

the　bottom　of　the　boat；　and　she　and　the　Golden　Lucy　swung　me　to

sleep。





ALL　THAT　FOLLOWS；　WAS　WRITTEN　BY　JOHN　STEADIMAN；　CHIEF　MATE；





On　the　twenty…sixth　day　after　the　foundering　of　the　Golden　Mary　at

sea；　I；　John　Steadiman；　was　sitting　in　my　place　in　the　stern…sheets

of　the　Surf…boat；　with　just　sense　enough　left　in　me　to　steerthat

is　to　say；　with　my　eyes　strained；　wide…awake；　over　the　bows　of　the

boat；　and　my　brains　fast　asleep　and　dreamingwhen　I　was　roused　upon

a　sudden　by　our　second　mate；　Mr。　William　Rames。



〃Let　me　take　a　spell　in　your　place；〃　says　he。　　〃And　look　you　out　for

the　Long…boat　astern。　　The　last　time　she　rose　on　the　crest　of　a

wave；　I　thought　I　made　out　a　signal　flying　aboard　her。〃



We　shifted　our　places；　clumsily　and　slowly　enough；　for　we　were　both

of　us　weak　and　dazed　with　wet；　cold；　and　hunger。　　I　waited　some

time；　watching　the　heavy　rollers　astern；　before　the　Long…boat　rose

a…top　of　one　of　them　at　the　same　time　with　us。　　At　last；　she　was

heaved　up　for　a　moment　well　in　view；　and　there；　sure　enough；　was　the

signal　flying　aboard　of　hera　strip　of　rag　of　some　sort；　rigged　to

an　oar；　and　hoisted　in　her　bows。



〃What　does　it　mean？〃　says　Rames　to　me　in　a　quavering；　trembling　sort

of　voice。　　〃Do　they　signal　a　sail　in　sight？〃



〃Hush；　for　God's　sake！〃　says　I；　clapping　my　hand　over　his　mouth。

〃Don't　let　the　people　hear　you。　　They'll　all　go　mad　together　if　we

mislead　them　about　that　signal。　　Wait　a　bit；　till　I　have　another

look　at　it。〃



I　held　on　by　him；　for　he　had　set　me　all　of　a　tremble　with　his　notion

of　a　sail　in　sight；　and　watched　for　the　Long…boat　again。　　Up　she

rose　on　the　top　of　another　roller。　　I　made　out　the　signal　clearly；

that　second　time；　and　saw　that　it　was　rigged　half…mast　high。



〃Rames；〃　says　I；　〃it's　a　signal　of　distress。　　Pass　the　word　forward

to　keep　her　before　the　sea；　and　no　more。　　We　must　get　the　Long…boat

within　hailing　distance　of　us；　as　soon　as　possible。〃



I　dropped　down　into　my　old　place　at　the　tiller　without　another　word…

…for　the　thought　went　through　me　like　a　knife　that　something　had

happened　to　Captain　Ravender。　　I　should　consider　myself　unworthy　to

write　another　line　of　this　statement；　if　I　had　not　made　up　my　mind

to　speak　the　truth；　the　whole　truth；　and　nothing　but　the　truthand

I　must；　therefore；　confess　plainly　that　now；　for　the　first　time；　my

heart　sank　within　me。　　This　weakness　on　my　part　was　produced　in　some

degree；　as　I　take　it；　by　the　exhausting　effects　of　previous　anxiety

and　grief。



Our　provisionsif　I　may　give　that　name　to　what　we　had　leftwere

reduced　to　the　rind　of　one　lemon　and　about　a　couple　of　handsfull　of

coffee…berries。　　Besides　these　great　distresses；　caused　by　the

death；　the　danger；　and　the　suffering　among　my　crew　and　passengers；　I

had　had　a　little　distress　of　my　own　to　shake　me　still　more；　in　the

death　of　the　child　whom　I　had　got　to　be　very　fond　of　on　the　voyage

outso　fond　that　I　was　secretly　a　little　jealous　of　her　being　taken

in　the　Long…boat　instead　of　mine　when　the　ship　foundered。　　It　used

to　be　a　great　comfort　to　me；　and　I　think　to　those　with　me　also；

after　we　had　seen　the　last　of　the　Golden　Mary；　to　see　the　Golden

Lucy；　held　up　by　the　men　in　the　Long…boat；　when　the　weather　allowed

it；　as　the　best　and　brightest　sight　they　had　to　show。　　She　looked；

at　the　distance　we　saw　her　from；　almost　like　a　little　white　bird　in

the　air。　　To　miss　her　for　the　first　time；　when　the　weather　lulled　a

little　again；　and　we　all　looked　out　for　our　white　bird　and　looked　in

vain；　was　a　sore　disappointment。　　To　see　the　men's　heads　bowed　down

and　the　captain's　hand　pointing　into　the　sea　when　we　hailed　the

Long…boat；　a　few　days　after；　gave　me　as　heavy　a　shock　and　as　sharp　a

pang　of　heartache　to　bear　as　ever　I　remember　suffering　in　all　my

life。　　I　only　mention　these　things　to　show　that　if　I　did　give　way　a

little　at　first；　under　the　dread　that　our　captain　was　lost　to　us；　it

was　not　without　having　been　a　good　deal　shaken　beforehand　by　more

trials　of　one　sort　or　another　than　often　fall　to　one　man's　share。



I　had　got　over　the　choking　in　my　throat　with　the　help　of　a　drop　of

water；　and　had　steadied　my　mind　again　so　as　to　be　prepared　against

the　worst；　when　I　heard　the　hail　（Lord　help　the　poor　fellows；　how

weak　it　sounded！）　…



〃Surf…boat；　ahoy！〃



I　looked　up；　and　there　were　our　companions　in　misfortune　tossing

abreast　of　us；　not　so　near　that　we　could　make　out　the　features　of

any　of　them；　but　near　enough；　with　some　exertion　for　people　in　our

condition；　to　make　their　voices　heard　in　the　intervals　when　the　wind

was　weakest。



I　answered　the　hail；　and　waited　a　bit；　and　heard　nothing；　and　then

sung　out　the　captain's　nam