we two-第14部分
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visions and delusions。 Erica was perplexed。 Once more there came to her that uncomfortable question： 〃Supposing Christianity were true？〃
The moonlight paled and the Easter morn broke； and still she tossed to and fro； haunted by doubts which would not let her sleep。 But by and by she returned to the one thing which was absolutely certain； namely； that her German friend was lovable and to be loved； whatever her creed。
And； since Erica's love was of the practical order； it prompted her to get up early； dress noiselessly； and steal out of the room without waking her companion； then； with all the church bells ringing and the devout citizens hurrying to mass； she ran to the nearest flower stall； spent one of her very few half…francs on the loveliest white rose to be had； and carried it back as an Easter offering to the fraulein。
It was fortunate in every way that Erica had the little German lady for her friend； for she would often have fared badly without some one to nurse and befriend her。
She was very delicate； and worked far too hard； for； besides all her work in the school； she was preparing for an English examination which she had set her heart on trying as soon as she went home。 Had it not been for Fraulein Sonnenthal； she would more than once have thoroughly overworked herself； and indeed as it was； the strain of that two years told severely on her strength。
But the time wore on rapidly； as very fully occupied time always does； and Erica's list of days grew shorter and shorter； and the letters from her mother were more and more full of plans for the life they would lead when she came home。 The two years would actually end in January； Erica was； however； to stay in Paris till the following Easter； partly to oblige Mme。 Lemercier； partly because by that time her father hoped to be in a great measure free from his embarrassments； able once more to make a home for her。
CHAPTER VII。 What the New Year Brought
A voice grows with the growing years； Earth； hushing down her bitter cry； Looks upward from her graves； and hears； 〃The Resurrection and the Life am I。〃
O love Divine；whose constant beam Shines on the eyes that will not see； And waits to bless us； while we dream Thou leavest us because we turn from Thee！
Nor bounds； nor clime； nor creed Thou know'st； Wide as our need Thy favors fall； The white wings of the Holy Ghost Stoop； seen or unseen； o'er the heads of all。 Whittier
It was the eve of the new year； and great excitement prevailed in the Lemerciers' house。 Many of the girls whose homes were at a distance had remained at school for the short winter holiday； and on this particular afternoon a number of them were clustered round the stove talking about the festivities of the morrow and the presents they were likely to have。
Erica； who was now a tall and very pretty girl of eighteen； was sitting on the hearth rug with Ninette on her lap； she was in very high spirits； and kept the little group in perpetual laughter； so much so indeed that Fraulein Sonnenthal had more than once been obliged to interfere； and do her best to quiet them。
〃How wild thou art； dear Erica？〃 she exclaimed。 〃What is it？〃
〃I am happy； that is all；〃 said Erica。 〃You would be happy if the year of freedom were just dawning for you。 Three months more and I shall be home。〃
She was like a child in her exultant happiness； far more child…like； indeed； than the grave little Ninette whom she was nursing。
〃Thou art not dignified enough for a teacher；〃 said the fraulein； laughingly。
〃She is no teacher；〃 cried the girls。 〃It is holiday time and she need not talk that frightful English。〃
Erica made a laughing defense of her native tongue； and such a babel ensued that the fraulein had to interfere again。
〃Liebe Erica！ Thou art beside thyself！ What has come to thee？〃
〃Only joy； dear Thekla； at the thought of the beautiful new year which is coming；〃 cried Erica。 〃Father would say I was 'fey；' and should pay for all this fun with a bad headache or some misfortune。 Come； give me the French 'David Copperfield；' and let me read you how 'Barkis Veut Bien；' and 'Mrs。 Gummidge a Pense de l'Ancien。'〃
The reading was more exquisitely ludicrous to Erica herself than to her hearers。 Still the wit of Charles Dickens； even when translated； called forth peals of laughter from the French girls； too。 It was the brightest； happiest little group imaginable； perhaps it was scarcely wonderful that old Mme。 Lemercier； when she came to break it up； should find her eyes dim with tears。
〃My dear Erica〃 she said； and broke off abruptly。
Erica looked up with laughing eyes。
〃Don't scold； dear madame；〃 she said； coaxingly。 〃We have been very noisy； but it is New year's eve； and we are so happy。〃
〃Dear child； it is not that；〃 said madame。 〃I want to speak to you for a minute； come with me； cherie。〃
Still Erica noticed nothing； did not detect the tone of pity； did not wonder at the terms of endearment which were generally reserved for more private use。 She followed madame into the hall； still chattering gayly。
〃The 'David Copperfield' is for monsieur's present tomorrow；〃 she said； laughingly。 〃I knew he was too lazy to read it in English； so I got him a translation。〃
〃My dear；〃 said madame； taking her hand； 〃try to be quiet a moment。 II have something to tell you。 My poor little one； monsieur your father is arrived〃
〃Father！ Father here！〃 exclaimed Erica； in a transport of delight。 〃Where is he； where？ Oh； madame； why didn't you tell me sooner？〃
Mme。 Lemercier tried in vain to detain her； as with cheeks all glowing with happiness and dancing eyes； she ran at full speed to the salon。
〃Father！〃 she cried； throwing open the door and running to meet him。 Then suddenly she stood quite still as if petrified。
Beside the crackling wood fire； his arms on the chimney piece； his face hidden； stood a gray…haired man。 He raised himself as she spoke。 His news was in his face； it was written all too plainly there。
〃Father！〃 gasped Erica in a voice which seemed altogether different from the first exclamation； almost as if it belonged to a different person。
Raeburn took her in his arms。
〃My childmy poor little Eric！〃 he said。
She did not speak a word； but clung to him as though to keep herself from falling。 In one instant it seemed as though her whole world had been wrecked； her life shattered。 She could not even realize that her father was still left to her； except in so far as the mere bodily support was concerned。 He was strong； she clung to him as in a hurricane she would have clung to a rock。
〃Say it；〃 she gasped； after a timeless silence； perhaps of minutes； perhaps of hours； it might have been centuries for aught she knew。 〃Say it in words。〃
She wanted to know everything； wanted to reduce this huge； overwhelming sorrow to something intelligible。 Surely in words it would not be so awfulso limitless。
And he said it； speaking in a low； repressed voice； yet very tenderly； as if she had been a little child。 She made a great effort to listen； but the sentences only came to her disjointedly and as if from a great distance。 It had been very suddena two hours' illness； no very great suffering。 He had been lecturing at Birminghamhad been telegraphed forhad been too late。
Erica made a desperate effort to realize it all； at last she brought down the measureless agony to actual words； repeating them over and over to herself〃Mother is dead。〃
At length she had grasped the idea。 Her heart seemed to die within her； a strange blue shade passed over her face； her limbs stiffened。 She felt her father carry her to the window； was perfectly conscious of everything； watched as in a dream； while he wrenched open the clumsy fastening of the casement； heard the voices in the street below； heard； too； in the distance the sound of church bells； was vaguely conscious of relief as the cold air blew upon her。
She was lying on a couch； and； if left to herself； might have lain there for hours in that strange state of absolute prostration。 But she was not alone； and gradually she realized it。 Very slowly the re…beginning of life set in； the consciousness of her father's presence awakened her； as it were； from her dream of unmitigated pain。 She sat up； put her arms round his neck； and kissed him； then for a minute let her aching head rest on his shoulder。 Presently； in a low but steady voice； she said： 〃What would you like me to do； father？〃
〃To come home with me now； if you are able；〃 he said； 〃tomorrow morning； though； if you would rather wait； dear。〃
But the idea of waiting seemed intolerable to her。 The very sound of the word was hateful。 Had she not waited two weary years； and this was the end of it all？ Any action； any present doing； however painful； but no more waiting。 No terrible pause in which more thoughts and； therefore； more pain might grow。 Outside in the passage they met Mme。 Lemercier； and presently Erica found herself surrounded by kind helpers； wondering to find them all so tearful when her own eyes felt so hot and dry。 They were very good to her； but； separated from her father； her sorrow again completely overwhelmed her； she could not then feel the slightest gratitude to them or the slightest comfort from their sympathy。 She lay motionless on her little white bed； her eyes fixed on the wooden cross on the opposite wall； or from time to time glancing at Fraulein Sonnenthal； who； with little Ninette to help； was busily packing her trunk。 And all the while she said again and again the words which summed up her sorrow： 〃Mother is dead！ Mother is dead！〃
After a time her eyes fell on her elaborately drawn paper of days。 Every evening since her first arrival she had gone through the almost religious ceremony of marking off the day； it had often been a great consolation to her。 The paper was much worn； the weeks and days yet to be marked were few in number。 She looked at it now； and if there can be a 〃more〃 to absolute grief； an additional pang to unmitigated sorrow； it came to her at the sight of that visible record of her long exile。 She snatched down the paper and tore it to pieces； then sunk back again； pale and breathless。 Fraulein Sonnenthal saw and underst
