we two-第41部分

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　no　good；　and　you　must　understand；　and　make　Tom　understand；　that　I'll　not　have　her　bullied。　　Don't　think　that　I　am　trying　to　make　her　mistaken　way　all　easy　for　her。　　She　won't　find　it　easy。　　She　will　have　a　miserable　time　of　it　with　our　own　set；　and　how　many　Christians；　do　you　imagine；　will　hold　out　a　hand　to　Luke　Raeburn's　daughter；　even　though　her　views　have　changed？　　Maybe　half　a　dozen！　　Not　more；　I　fancy；　unless　she　renounced　us　with　atheism；　and　that　she　never　will　do！　　She　will　be　between　two　fires；　and　I　believe　between　the　two　she　will　be　worried　to　death　in　a　year　unless　we　can　keep　the　peace　at　home。　　I　don't　blame　Osmond　for　this；　though　at　first　I　did　suspect　it　was　his　doing；　but　this　has　been　no　cram…work。　　Erica　has　honestly　faced　the　questions　herself；　and　has　honestly　arrived　at　this　mistaken　conclusion。　　Osmond's　kindness　and　generosity　of　course　influenced　her；　but　for　the　rest　they　have　only　had　the　free　discussions　of　which　from　the　first　I　approved。　　Years　ago　he　said　to　me　plainly；　'What　if　she　should　see　reasons　to　change　her　mind？'　　I　scouted　the　notion　then；　it　seemed　and　still　seems　almost　INCREDIBLE。　　He　has；　you　see；　acted　quite　honorably。　　It　is　Erica's　own　doing。　　I　remember　telling　him　that　our　name　of　freethinkers　was　a　reality；　and　so　it　shall　still　be！　　She　shall　be　free　to　think　the　untrue　is　true；　she　shall　be　free　to　confess　herself　a　Christian　before　the　whole　world；　though　it　deal　me　the　hardest　of　blows。〃

This　letter　soon　spread　the　news。　　Aunt　Jean　was　too　much　vexed　and　not　deeply　grieved　enough　to　keep　silence。　　Vexation　finds　some　relief　in　talking；　deep　grief　as　a　rule　prefers　not　to　speak。　　Tom；　in　his　odd　way；　felt　the　defection　of　his　favorite　cousin　as　much　as　anybody；　except　Raeburn　himself。　　They　had　been　play…fellows；　they　had　always　been　like　brother　and　sister　together；　and　he　was　astounded　to　think　that　Erica；　of　all　people　in　the　world；　should　have　deserted　the　cause。　　The　letter　had　come　by　one　of　the　evening　posts。　　He　went　out　and　paced　up　and　down　the　square　in　the　soft　midsummer　twilight；　trying　to　realize　the　facts　of　the　case。　　Presently　he　heard　rapid　steps　behind　him；　no　one　walked　at　that　pace　excepting　Brian；　and　Tom　was　quite　prepared　to　feel　an　arm　link　itself　within　his。

〃Hallo；　old　fellow！〃　exclaimed　Brian。　　〃Moonlight　meditations？〃

〃Where　did　you　drop　from？〃　said　Tom；　evasively。

〃Broken　leg；　round　the　corner　a　public…house　row。　　What　brutes　men　are！〃　exclaimed　the　young　doctor；　hotly。

〃Disappointing　world　altogether；〃　said　Tom　with　a　sigh。　　〃What　do　you　think　we　have　just　heard　about　Erica？〃

Brian's　heart　almost　stopped　beating；　he　hardly　knew　what　he　feared。

〃How　can　I　tell？〃　he　answered；　hoarsely。　　〃No　bad　news；　I　hope？〃

〃She's　gone　and　turned　Christian；〃　said　Tom；　in　a　tone　of　deep　disgust。

Brian　started。

〃Thank　God！〃　he　exclaimed；　under　his　breath。

〃Confound　it！〃　cried　Tom。　　〃I'd　forgot　you'd　be　triumphant。　　Good　night；〃　and　he　marched　off　in　high　dudgeon。

Brian　did　not　even　miss　him。　　How　could　he　at　such　a　time？　　The　weight　of　years　had　been　lifted　off　his　soul。　　A　consuming　happiness　took　possession　of　him；　his　whole　being　was　a　thanksgiving。　　By　and　by　he　went　home；　found　his　father　in　the　study；　and　was　about　to　speak；　when　Charles　Osmond　put　an　open　letter　into　his　hand。　　While　Raeburn　had　written　to　his　sister；　Erica　had　written　to　her　〃prophet〃　a　sad；　happy；　quaint　letter　exactly　like　herself。　　Its　straightforward　simplicity　brought　the　tears　to　Brian's　eyes。

〃It　will　be　a　fearful　life　for　her　now！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃She　will　never　be　able　to　endure　it。　　Father；　now　at　last　I　may　surely　speak　to　her。〃

He　spoke　very　eagerly。　　Charles　Osmond　looked　grave。

〃My　dear　old　fellow；　of　course　you　must　do　as　you　think　best；〃　he　replied；　after　a　minute's　pause；　〃but　I　doubt　if　it　is　wise　just　now。〃

〃Why；　it　is　the　very　time　of　all　others　when　she　might　be　glad　of　me；〃　said　Brian。

〃But　can't　you　see；〃　returned　his　father；　〃that　Erica　is　the　last　girl　in　the　world　to　marry　a　man　because　she　was　unhappy；　or　because　she　had　got　a　difficult　bit　of　life　in　front　of　her？　　Of　course；　if　you　really　think　she　cares　for　you；　it　is　different；　but〃

〃She　does　not　care　for　me；〃　said　Brian　quickly；　〃but　in　time　I　think　she　would。　　I　think　I　could　make　her　happy。〃

〃Yes；　I　think　you　could；　but　I　fancy　you　will　make　shipwreck　of　your　hopes　if　you　speak　to　her　now。　　Have　patience。〃

〃I　am　sick　of　patience！〃　cried　Brian　desperately。　　〃Have　I　not　been　patient　for　nearly　seven　years？　　For　what　would　you　have　me　wait？　　Am　I　to　wait　till；　between　our　injustice　to　secularists　and　their　injustice　to　Christians；　she　is　half　badgered　out　of　life？　　If　she　could　but　love　me；　if　she　would　marry　me　now；　I　could　save　her　from　what　must　be　a　life　of　misery。〃

〃If　I　could　but　get　you　to　see　it　from　what　I　am　convinced　is　Erica's　point　of　view！〃　exclaimed　Charles　Osmond。　　〃Forget　for　a　minute　that　you　are　her　knight　and　champion；　and　try　to　see　things　as　she　sees　them。　　Let　us　try　to　reverse　things。　　Just　imagine　for　a　minute　that　you　are　the　child　of　some　leading　man；　the　head　and　chief　of　a　party　or　association　we'll　say　that　you　are　the　child　of　an　Archbishop　of　Canterbury。　　You　are　carefully　educated；　you　become　a　zealous　worker；　you　enter　into　all　your　father's　interests；　you　are　able　to　help　him　in　a　thousand　ways。　　But；　by　slow　degrees；　we　will　say　that　you　perceive　a　want　in　the　system　in　which　you　have　been　educated；　and；　after　many　years　of　careful　study　and　thought；　you　are　obliged　to　reject　your　former　beliefs　and　to　accept　that　other　system　which　shall　most　recommend　itself　to　you。　　We　will　suppose　for　the　sake　of　analogy　that　you　become　a　secularist。　　Knowing　that　your　change　of　views　will　be　a　terrible　grief　to　your　father　the　archbishop；　it　takes　your　whole　strength　to　make　your　confession；　and　you　not　only　feel　your　father's　personal　pain；　but　you　feel　that　his　pain　will　be　increased　by　his　public　position。　　To　make　it　worse；　too；　we　must　suppose　that　a　number　of　people　calling　themselves　atheists；　and　in　the　name　of　atheism；　have　at　intervals　for　the　last　thirty　years　been　annoying　and　insulting　your　father；　that　in　withstanding　their　attacks　he　has　often　received　bodily　injury；　and　that　the　atheists　have　so　often　driven　him　into　the　law　courts　that　he　has　been　pretty　nearly　beggared。　　All　his　privations　you　have　shared　for　instance；　you　went　with　him　and　lived　for　years　in　a　poky　little　lodging；　and　denied　yourself　every　single　luxury。　　But　now　you　have；　in　spite　of　all　these　persecutions　carried　on　in　the　name　of　secularism；　learned　to　see　that　the　highest　form　of　secularism　is　true。　　The　archbishop　feels　this　terribly。　　However；　being　a　very　loving　father；　he　wisely　refuses　to　indulge　in　perpetual　controversy　with　his　child。　　You　agree　still　to　live　together；　and　each　try　with　all　your　might　to　find　all　the　possible　points　of　union　still　left　you。　　Probably；　if　you　are　such　a　child　as　I　imagine；　you　love　your　father　ten　times　more　than　you　did　before。　　Then　just　as　you　have　made　up　your　mind　to　try　to　be　more　to　him；　when　all　you　care　about　in　life　is　to　comfort　and　help　him；　and　when　your　heart　is　much　occupied　with　your　new　opinions；　a　friend　of　yours　a　secularist　comes　to　you；　and　says：　'A　miserable　life　lies　before　you。　　The　atheists　will　never　thoroughly　take　up　with　you　while　you　live　with　your　father　the　archbishop；　and　of　course　it　is　wretched　for　you　to　be　surrounded　by　those　of　another　creed。　　Come　with　me。　　I　love　you　I　will　make　you　happy；　and　save　you　from　persecution。〃

In　spite　of　himself　Brian　had　smiled　many　times　at　this　putting　of　an　Archbishop　of　Canterbury　into　the　position　of　Luke　Raeburn。　　But　the　conclusion　arrived　at　seemed　to　him　to　admit　of　only　one　answer；　and　left　him　very　grave。

〃You　may　be　right；〃　he　said；　very　sadly。　〃But　to　stand　still　and　watch　her　suffer〃

He　broke　off；　unable　to　finish　his　sentence。

Charles　Osmond　took　it　up。

〃To　stand　still　and　watch　her　suffer　will　be　the　terribly　hard　work　of　a　brave　man　who　takes　a　true；　deep　view。　　To　rush　in　with　offers　of　help　would　be　the　work　of　an　impetuous　man　who　took　a　very　superficial　view。　　If　Erica　were　selfish；　I　would　say　go　and　appeal　to　her　selfishness；　and　marry　her　at　once；　for　selfishness　will　never　do　any　good　in　Guilford　Terrace。　　But　she　is　one　of　the　most　devoted　women　I　know。　　Your　appeal　would　be　rejected。　　I　believe　she　will　feel　herself　in　the　right　place　there；　and；　as　long　as　that　is　the　case；　nothing　will　move　her。〃

〃Father；〃　said　Brian；　rather　desperately；　〃I　would　take　your　opinion　before　any　other　opinion　in　the　world。　　You　know　her　well　far　better　than　I　do。　　Tell　me　honestly　do　you　think　she　could　ever　love　me？〃

〃You　have　given　me　a　hard　task；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃But　you　have　asked　for　my　honest　opinion；　and　you　must　have　it。　　As　long　as　her　father　lives　I　don't　believe　Erica　will　ever　love　a　man　well　enough　to　marry　him。　　I　remember；　in　my　young　days；　a　beautiful　girl　in　our　neighborhood；　the　belle　of　the　whole　county；　and　years　went　by；　and　she　had　countless　offers；　but　she　rejected　them　all。　　People　used　to　remonstrate　with　her；　and　ask　her　how　it　was。　　'Oh；'　she　used　to　reply；　'that　is　very　easily　explained。。　　I　never　see　a　man　I　think　equal　to　my　own　brothers！'　　Now；　whatever　faults　Raeburn　has；　we　may　be　sure　Erica　sees　far　less　plainly　than　we　see；　and　nobody　can　deny　that　he　is　a　grand　fellow。　　When　one　bears　in　mind　all　that　he　has　had　against　him；　his　nobility　of　character　seems　to　me　marvelous。　　He　puts　us　to　shame。　　And　that　is　why　he　seems　to　me　the　wholesome　though　powerful　medicine　for　this　nineteenth　century　of　ours；　with　its　great　professions　and　its　un…Christlike　lives。〃

〃What　is　the　use　of　patience　what　is　the　use　of　love；〃　exclaimed　Brian；　〃if　I　am　never　to　serve　her？〃

〃Never！　　Who　said　so？〃　said　his　father　smiling。　　〃Why；　you　have　been　serving　her　every　blessed　day　since　you　first　loved　her。　　Is　unspoken　love　worth　nothing？　　Are　prayers　useless？　　Is　it　of　no　service　to　let　your　light　shine？　　But　I　see　how　it　is。　　As　a　doctor；　you　look　upon　pain　as　the　one　great　enemy　to　be　fought　with；　to　be　bound　down；　to　be　conquered。　　You　want　to　shield　Erica　from　pain；　which　she　can't