greville fane-第4部分
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man wore to my sense an aspect more and more professional if you
like; but less and less literary。 At the end of a couple of years
there was something monstrous in the impudence with which he played
his part in the comedy。 When I wondered how she could play HER part
I had to perceive that her good faith was complete and that what kept
it so was simply her extravagant fondness。 She loved the young
impostor with a simple; blind; benighted love; and of all the heroes
of romance who had passed before her eyes he was by far the most
brilliant。
He was at any rate the most realshe could touch him; pay for him;
suffer for him; worship him。 He made her think of her princes and
dukes; and when she wished to fix these figures in her mind's eye she
thought of her boy。 She had often told me she was carried away by
her own creations; and she was certainly carried away by Leolin。 He
vivified; by potentialities at least; the whole question of youth and
passion。 She held; not unjustly; that the sincere novelist should
feel the whole flood of life; she acknowledged with regret that she
had not had time to feel it herself; and it was a joy to her that the
deficiency might be supplied by the sight of the way it was rushing
through this magnificent young man。 She exhorted him; I suppose; to
let it rush; she wrung her own flaccid little sponge into the
torrent。 I knew not what passed between them in her hours of
tuition; but I gathered that she mainly impressed on him that the
great thing was to live; because that gave you material。 He asked
nothing better; he collected material; and the formula served as a
universal pretext。 You had only to look at him to see that; with his
rings and breastpins; his cross…barred jackets; his early embonpoint;
his eyes that looked like imitation jewels; his various indications
of a dense; full…blown temperament; his idea of life was singularly
vulgar; but he was not so far wrong as that his response to his
mother's expectations was not in a high degree practical。 If she had
imposed a profession on him from his tenderest years it was exactly a
profession that he followed。 The two were not quite the same;
inasmuch as HIS was simply to live at her expense; but at least she
couldn't say that he hadn't taken a line。 If she insisted on
believing in him he offered himself to the sacrifice。 My impression
is that her secret dream was that he should have a liaison with a
countess; and he persuaded her without difficulty that he had one。 I
don't know what countesses are capable of; but I have a clear notion
of what Leolin was。
He didn't persuade his sister; who despised himshe wished to work
her mother in her own way; and I asked myself why the girl's judgment
of him didn't make me like her better。 It was because it didn't save
her after all from a mute agreement with him to go halves。 There
were moments when I couldn't help looking hard into his atrocious
young eyes; challenging him to confess his fantastic fraud and give
it up。 Not a little tacit conversation passed between us in this
way; but he had always the best of it。 If I said: 〃Oh; come now;
with ME you needn't keep it up; plead guilty; and I'll let you off;〃
he wore the most ingenuous; the most candid expression; in the depths
of which I could read: 〃Oh; yes; I know it exasperates youthat's
just why I do it。〃 He took the line of earnest inquiry; talked about
Balzac and Flaubert; asked me if I thought Dickens DID exaggerate and
Thackeray OUGHT to be called a pessimist。 Once he came to see me; at
his mother's suggestion he declared; on purpose to ask me how far; in
my opinion; in the English novel; one really might venture to 〃go。〃
He was not resigned to the usual pruderieshe suffered under them
already。 He struck out the brilliant idea that nobody knew how far
we might go; for nobody had ever tried。 Did I think HE might safely
trywould it injure his mother if he did? He would rather disgrace
himself by his timidities than injure his mother; but certainly some
one ought to try。 Wouldn't _I_ trycouldn't I be prevailed upon to
look at it as a duty? Surely the ultimate point ought to be fixed
he was worried; haunted by the question。 He patronised me
unblushingly; made me feel like a foolish amateur; a helpless novice;
inquired into my habits of work and conveyed to me that I was utterly
vieux jeu and had not had the advantage of an early training。 I had
not been brought up from the germ; I knew nothing of lifedidn't go
at it on HIS system。 He had dipped into French feuilletons and
picked up plenty of phrases; and he made a much better show in talk
than his poor mother; who never had time to read anything and could
only be vivid with her pen。 If I didn't kick him downstairs it was
because he would have alighted on her at the bottom。
When she went to live at Primrose Hill I called upon her and found
her weary and wasted。 It had waned a good deal; the elation caused
the year before by Ethel's marriage; the foam on the cup had subsided
and there was a bitterness in the draught。
She had had to take a cheaper house and she had to work still harder
to pay even for that。 Sir Baldwin was obliged to be close; his
charges were fearful; and the dream of her living with her daughter
(a vision she had never mentioned to me) must be renounced。 〃I would
have helped with things; and I could have lived perfectly in one
room;〃 she said; 〃I would have paid for everything; andafter all
I'm some one; ain't I? But I don't fit in; and Ethel tells me there
are tiresome people she MUST receive。 I can help them from here; no
doubt; better than from there。 She told me once; you know; what she
thinks of my picture of life。 'Mamma; your picture of life is
preposterous!' No doubt it is; but she's vexed with me for letting
my prices go down; and I had to write three novels to pay for all her
marriage cost me。 I did it very wellI mean the outfit and the
wedding; but that's why I'm here。 At any rate she doesn't want a
dingy old woman in her house。 I should give it an atmosphere of
literary glory; but literary glory is only the eminence of nobodies。
Besides; she doubts my gloryshe knows I'm glorious only at Peckham
and Hackney。 She doesn't want her friends to ask if I've never known
nice people。 She can't tell them I've never been in society。 She
tried to teach me better once; but I couldn't learn。 It would seem
too as if Peckham and Hackney had had enough of me; for (don't tell
any one!) I've had to take less for my last than I ever took for
anything。〃 I asked her how little this had been; not from curiosity;
but in order to upbraid her; more disinterestedly than Lady Luard had
done; for such concessions。 She answered 〃I'm ashamed to tell you;〃
and then she began to cry。
I had never seen her break down; and I was proportionately moved; she
sobbed; like a frightened child; over the extinction of her vogue and
the exhaustion of her vein。 Her little workroom seemed indeed a
barren place to grow flowers; and I wondered; in the after years (for
she continued to produce and publish) by what desperate and heroic
process she dragged them out of the soil。 I remember asking her on
that occasion what had become of Leolin; and how much longer she
intended to allow him to amuse himself at her cost。 She rejoined
with spirit; wiping her eyes; that he was down at Brighton hard at
workhe was in the midst of a noveland that he FELT life so; in
all its misery and mystery; that it was cruel to speak of such
experiences as a pleasure。 〃He goes beneath the surface;〃 she said;
〃and he FORCES himself to look at things from which he would rather
turn away。 Do you call that amusing yourself? You should see his
face sometimes! And he does it for me as much as for himself。 He
tells me everythinghe comes home to me with his trouvailles。 We
are artists together; and to the artist all things are pure。 I've
often heard you say so yourself。〃 The novel that Leolin was engaged
in at Brighton was never published; but a friend of mine and of Mrs。
Stormer's who was staying there happened to mention to me later that
he had seen the young apprentice to fiction driving; in a dogcart; a
young lady with a very pink face。 When I suggested that she was
perhaps a woman of title with whom he was conscientiously flirting my
informant replied: 〃She is indeed; but do you know what her title
is?〃 He pronounced itit was familiar and descriptivebut I won't
reproduce it here。 I don't know whether Leolin mentioned it to his
mother: she would have needed all the purity of the artist to
forgive him。 I hated so to come across him that in the very last
years I went rarely to see her; though I knew that she had come
pretty well to the end of her rope。 I didn't want her to tell me
that she had fairly to give her books awayI didn't want to see her
cry。 She kept it up amazingly; and every few months; at my club; I
saw three new volumes; in green; in crimson; in blue; on the book…
table that groaned with light literature。 Once I met her at the
Academy soiree; where you meet people you thought were dead; and she
vouchsafed the information; as if she owed it to me in candour; that
Leolin had been obliged to recognise insuperable difficulties in the
question of FORM; he was so fastidious; so that she had now arrived
at a definite understanding with him (it was such a comfort) that SHE
would do the form if he would bring home the substance。 That was now
his positionhe foraged for her in the great world at a salary。
〃He's my 'devil;' don't you see? as if I were a great lawyer: he
gets up the case and I argue it。〃 She mentioned further that in
addition to his salary he was paid by the piece: he got so much for
a striking character; so much for a pretty name; so much for a plot;
so much for an incident; and had so much promised him if he would
invent a new