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hundred　in　itself。　　And　there　were　twenty…two　gold　sovereigns。　　I

split　it　four　ways：　　one…fourth　to　Johnny；　one…fourth　to　the　ship；

one…fourth　to　me　as　owner；　and　one…fourth　to　me　as　skipper。　　Johnny

never　complained。　　He'd　never　had　so　much　wealth　all　at　one　time　in

his　life。　　Besides；　I　gave　him　a　couple　of　the　mate's　old　shirts。

And　I　fancy　the　mate's　head　is　still　there　decorating　the　canoe…

house。〃



〃Not　exactly　Christian　burial　of　a　Christian；〃　Whiskers　observed。



〃But　a　lucrative　burial；〃　Slim　retorted。　　〃I　had　to　feed　the　rest

of　the　mate　over…side　to　the　sharks　for　nothing。　　Think　of　feeding

an　eight…hundred…dollar　head　along　with　it。　　It　would　have　been

criminal　waste　and　stark　lunacy。



〃Well；　anyway；　it　was　all　beastly　funny；　over　there　to　the

westward。　　And；　without　telling　you　the　scrape　I　got　into　at　Taki…

Tiki；　except　that　I　sailed　away　with　two　hundred　kinky…heads　for

Queensland　labour；　and　for　my　manner　of　collecting　them　had　two

British　ships　of　war　combing　the　Pacific　for　me；　I　changed　my

course　and　ran　to　the　westward　thinking　to　dispose　of　the　lot　to

the　Spanish　plantations　on　Bangar。



〃Typhoon　season。　　We　caught　it。　　The　MERRY　MIST　was　my　schooner's

name；　and　I　had　thought　she　was　stoutly　built　until　she　hit　that

typhoon。　　I　never　saw　such　seas。　　They　pounded　that　stout　craft　to

pieces；　literally　so。　　The　sticks　were　jerked　out　of　her；

deckhouses　splintered　to　match…wood；　rails　ripped　off；　and；　after

the　worst　had　passed；　the　covering　boards　began　to　go。　　We　just

managed　to　repair　what　was　left　of　one　boat　and　keep　the　schooner

afloat　only　till　the　sea　went　down　barely　enough　to　get　away。　　And

we　outfitted　that　boat　in　a　hurry。　　The　carpenter　and　I　were　the

last；　and　we　had　to　jump　for　it　as　he　went　down。　　There　were　only

four　of　us　…　〃



〃Lost　all　the　niggers？〃　Whiskers　inquired。



〃Some　of　them　swam　for　some　time；〃　Slim　replied。　　〃But　I　don't

fancy　they　made　the　land。　　We　were　ten　days'　in　doing　it。　　And　we

had　a　spanking　breeze　most　of　the　way。　　And　what　do　you　think　we

had　in　the　boat　with　us？　　Cases　of　square…face　gin　and　cases　of

dynamite。　　Funny；　wasn't　it？　　Well；　it　got　funnier　later　on。　　Oh；

there　was　a　small　beaker　of　water；　a　little　salt　horse；　and　some

salt…water…soaked　sea　biscuit　…　enough　to　keep　us　alive　to　Tagalag。



〃Now　Tagalag　is　the　disappointingest　island　I've　ever　beheld。　　It

shows　up　out　of　the　sea　so　as　you　can　make　its　fall　twenty　miles

off。　　It　is　a　volcano　cone　thrust　up　out　of　deep　sea；　with　a

segment　of　the　crater　wall　broken　out。　　This　gives　sea　entrance　to

the　crater　itself；　and　makes　a　fine　sheltered　harbour。　　And　that's

all。　　Nothing　lives　there。　　The　outside　and　the　inside　of　the

crater　are　too　steep。　　At　one　place；　inside；　is　a　patch　of　about　a

thousand　coconut　palms。　　And　that's　all；　as　I　said；　saving　a　few

insects。　　No　four…legged　thing；　even　a　rat；　inhabits　the　place。

And　it's　funny；　most　awful　funny；　with　all　those　coconuts；　not　even

a　coconut　crab。　　The　only　meat…food　living　was　schools　of　mullet　in

the　harbour　…　fattest；　finest；　biggest　mullet　I　ever　laid　eyes　on。



〃And　the　four　of　us　landed　on　the　little　beach　and　set　up

housekeeping　among　the　coconuts　with　a　larder　full　of　dynamite　and

square…face。　　Why　don't　you　laugh？　　It's　funny；　I　tell　you。　　Try　it

some　time。　…　Holland　gin　and　straight　coconut　diet。　　I've　never

been　able　to　look　a　confectioner's　window　in　the　face　since。　　Now

I'm　not　strong　on　religion　like　Chauncey　Delarouse　there；　but　I

have　some　primitive　ideas；　and　my　concept　of　hell　is　an　illimitable

coconut　plantation；　stocked　with　cases　of　square…face　and　populated

by　ship…wrecked　mariners。　　Funny？　　It　must　make　the　devil　scream。



〃You　know；　straight　coconut　is　what　the　agriculturists　call　an

unbalanced　ration。　　It　certainly　unbalanced　our　digestions。　　We　got

so　that　whenever　hunger　took　an　extra　bite　at　us；　we　took　another

drink　of　gin。　　After　a　couple　of　weeks　of　it；　Olaf；　a　squarehead

sailor；　got　an　idea。　　It　came　when　he　was　full　of　gin；　and　we；

being　in　the　same　fix；　just　watched　him　shove　a　cap　and　short　fuse

into　a　stick　of　dynamite　and　stroll　down　toward　the　boat。



〃It　dawned　on　me　that　he　was　going　to　shoot　fish　if　there　were　any

about；　but　the　sun　was　beastly　hot；　and　I　just　reclined　there　and

hoped　he'd　have　luck。



〃About　half　an　hour　after　he　disappeared　we　heard　the　explosion。

But　he　didn't　come　back。　　We　waited　till　the　cool　of　sunset；　and

down　on　the　beach　found　what　had　become　of　him。　　The　boat　was　there

all　right；　grounded　by　the　prevailing　breeze；　but　there　was　no

Olaf。　　He　would　never　have　to　eat　coconut　again。　　We　went　back；

shakier　than　ever；　and　cracked　another　square…face。



〃The　next　day　the　cook　announced　that　he　would　rather　take　his

chance　with　dynamite　than　continue　trying　to　exist　on　coconut；　and

that；　though　he　didn't　know　anything　about　dynamite；　he　knew　a

sight　too　much　about　coconut。　　So　we　bit　the　detonator　down　for

him；　shoved　in　a　fuse；　and　picked　him　a　good　fire…stick；　while　he

jolted　up　with　a　couple　more　stiff　ones　of　gin。



〃It　was　the　same　programme　as　the　day　before。　　After　a　while　we

heard　the　explosion　and　at　twilight　went　down　to　the　boat；　from

which　we　scraped　enough　of　the　cook　for　a　funeral。



〃The　carpenter　and　I　stuck　it　out　two　days　more；　then　we　drew

straws　for　it　and　it　was　his　turn。　　We　parted　with　harsh　words；　for

he　wanted　to　take　a　square…face　along　to　refresh　himself　by　the

way；　while　I　was　set　against　running　any　chance　of　wasting　the　gin。

Besides；　he　had　more　than　he　could　carry　then；　and　he　wobbled　and

staggered　as　he　walked。



〃Same　thing；　only　there　was　a　whole　lot　of　him　left　for　me　to　bury；

because　he'd　prepared　only　half　a　stick。　　I　managed　to　last　it　out

till　next　day；　when；　after　duly　fortifying　myself；　I　got　sufficient

courage　to　tackle　the　dynamite。　　I　used　only　a　third　of　a　stick　…

you　know；　short　fuse；　with　the　end　split　so　as　to　hold　the　head　of

a　safety　match。　　That's　where　I　mended　my　predecessors'　methods。

Not　using　the　match…head；　they'd　too…long　fuses。　　Therefore；　when

they　spotted　a　school　of　mullet；　and　lighted　the　fuse；　they　had　to

hold　the　dynamite　till　the　fuse　burned　short　before　they　threw　it。

If　they　threw　it　too　soon；　it　wouldn't　go　off　the　instant　it　hit

the　water；　while　the　splash　of　it　would　frighten　the　mullet　away。

Funny　stuff　dynamite。　　At　any　rate；　I　still　maintain　mine　was　the

safer　method。



〃I　picked　up　a　school　of　mullet　before　I'd　been　rowing　five

minutes。　　Fine　big　fat　ones　they　were；　and　I　could　smell　them　over

the　fire。　　When　I　stood　up；　fire…stick　in　one　hand；　dynamite　stick

in　the　other；　my　knees　were　knocking　together。　　Maybe　it　was　the

gin；　or　the　anxiousness；　or　the　weakness　and　the　hunger；　and　maybe

it　was　the　result　of　all　of　them；　but　at　any　rate　I　was　all　of　a

shake。　　Twice　I　failed　to　touch　the　fire…stick　to　the　dynamite。

Then　I　did；　heard　the　match…head　splutter；　and　let　her　go。



〃Now　I　don't　know　what　happened　to　the　others；　but　I　know　what　I

did。　　I　got　turned　about。　　Did　you　ever　stem　a　strawberry　and　throw

the　strawberry　away　and　pop　the　stem　into　your　mouth？　　That's　what

I　did。　　I　threw　the　fire…stick　into　the　water　after　the　mullet　and

held　on　to　the　dynamite。　　And　my　arm　went　off　with　the　stick　when

it　went　off。　。　。　。　〃



Slim　investigated　the　tomato…can　for　water　to　mix　himself　a　drink；

but　found　it　empty。　　He　stood　up。



〃Heigh　ho；〃　he　yawned；　and　started　down　the　path　to　the　river。



In　several　minutes　he　was　back。　　He　mixed　the　due　quantity　of　river

slush　with　the　alcohol；　took　a　long；　solitary　drink；　and　stared

with　bitter　moodiness　into　the　fire。



〃Yes；　but　。　。　。　〃　Fatty　suggested。　　〃What　happened　then？〃



〃Oh；〃　sad　Slim。　　〃Then　the　princess　married　me；　of　course。〃



〃But　you　were　the　only　person　left；　and　there　wasn't　any　princess　。

。　。　〃　　Whiskers　cried　out　abruptly；　and　then　let　his　voice　trail

away　to　embarrassed　silence。



Slim　stared　unblinkingly　into　the　fire。



Percival　Delaney　and　Chauncey　Delarouse　looked　at　each　other。

Quietly；　in　solemn　silence；　each　with　his　one　arm　aided　the　one　arm

of　the　other　in　rolling　and　tying　his　bundle。　　And　in　silence；

bundles　slung　on　shoulders；　they　went　away　out　of　the　circle　of

firelight。　　Not　until　they　reached　the　top　of　the　railroad

embankment　did　they　speak。



〃No　gentleman　would　have　done　it；〃　said　Whiskers。



〃No　gentleman　would　have　done　it；〃　Fatty　agreed。











Glen　Ellen；　California；

SEPTEMBER　26；　1916。











End