hemingway, ernest - for whom the bell tolls-第56部分
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t。 〃_Vaya_。 What a breakfast；〃 he said。 〃Where is the filthy gypsy？〃
〃What trades？〃 Robert Jordan asked him。 〃Speak； bad mouth。〃
〃Jumping from planes without parachutes；〃 Agust韓 said； and his eyes shone。 〃That for those that we care for。 And being nailed to the tops of fence posts to be pushed over backwards for the others。〃
〃That way of speaking is ignoble；〃 Anselmo said。 〃Thus we will never have a Republic。〃
〃I would like to swim ten leagues in a strong soup made from the _cojones_ of all of them；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃And when I saw those four there and thought that we might kill them I was like a mare in the corral waiting for the stallion。〃
〃You know why we did not kill them； though？〃 Robert Jordan said quietly。
〃Yes；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Yes。 But the necessity was on me as it is on a mare in heat。 You cannot know what it is if you have not felt it。〃
〃You sweated enough；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃I thought it was fear。〃
〃Fear； yes；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Fear and the other。 And in this life there is no stronger thing than the other。〃
Yes； Robert Jordan thought。 We do it coldly but they do not； nor ever have。 It is their extra sacrament。 Their old one that they had before the new religion came from the far end of the Mediterranean； the one they have never abandoned but only suppressed and hidden to bring it out again in wars and inquisitions。 They are the people of the Auto de Fe； the act of faith。 Killing is something one must do； but ours are different from theirs。 And you； he thought； you have never been corrupted by it？ You never had it in the Sierra？ Nor at Usera？ Nor through all the time in Estremadura？ Nor at any time？ Qu椤a； he told himself。 At every train。
Stop making dubious literature about the Berbers and the old Iberians and admit that you have liked to kill as all who are soldiers by choice have enjoyed it at some time whether they lie about it or not。 Anselmo does not like to because he is a hunter； not a soldier。 Don't idealize him； either。 Hunters kill animals and soldiers kill men。 Don't lie to yourself； he thought。 Nor make up literature about it。 You have been tainted with it for a long time now。 And do not think against Anselmo either。 He is a Christian。 Something very rare in Catholic countries。
But with Agust韓 I had thought it was fear； he thought。 That natural fear before action。 So it was the other； too。 Of course； he may be bragging now。 There was plenty of fear。 I felt the fear under my hand。 Well； it was time to stop talking。
〃See if the gypsy brought food；〃 he said to Anselmo。 〃Do not let him come up。 He is a fool。 Bring it yourself。 And however much he brought； send back for more。 I am hungry。〃
24
Now the morning was late May； the sky was high and clear and the wind blew warm on Robert Jordan's shoulders。 The snow was going fast and they were eating breakfast。 There were two big sandwiches of meat and the goaty cheese apiece； and Robert Jordan had cut thick slices of onion with his clasp knife and put them on each side of the meat and cheese between the chunks of bread。
〃You will have a breath that will carry through the forest to the fascists；〃 Agust韓 said； his own mouth full。
〃Give me the wineskin and I will rinse the mouth；〃 Robert Jordan said； his mouth full of meat； cheese； onion and chewed bread。
He had never been hungrier and he filled his mouth with wine； faintly tarry…tasting from the leather bag； and swallowed。 Then he took another big mouthful of wine； lifting the bag up to let the jet of wine spurt into the back of his mouth； the wineskin touching the needles of the blind of pine branches that covered the automatic rifle as he lifted his hand； his head leaning against the pine branches as he bent it back to let the wine run down。
〃Dost thou want this other sandwich？〃 Agust韓 asked him； handing it toward him across the gun。
〃No。 Thank you。 Eat it。〃
〃I cannot。 I am not accustomed to eat in the morning。〃
〃You do not want it； truly？〃
〃Nay。 Take it。〃
Robert Jordan took it and laid it on his lap while he got the onion out of his side jacket pocket where the grenades were and opened his knife to slice it。 He cut off a thin sliver of the surface that had dirtied in his pocket； then cut a thick slice。 An outer segment fell and he picked it up and bent the circle together and put it into the sandwich。
〃Eatest thou always onions for breakfast？〃 Agust韓 asked。
〃When there are any。〃
〃Do all in thy country do this？〃
〃Nay；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃It is looked on badly there。〃
〃I am glad；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃I had always considered America a civilized country。〃
〃What hast thou against the onion？〃
〃The odor。 Nothing more。 Otherwise it is like the rose。〃
Robert Jordan grinned at him with his mouth full。
〃Like the rose；〃 he said。 〃Mighty like the rose。 A rose is a rose is an onion。〃
〃Thy onions are affecting thy brain；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Take care。〃
〃An onion is an onion is an onion；〃 Robert Jordan said cheerily and； he thought； a stone is a stein is a rock is a boulder is a pebble。
〃Rinse thy mouth with wine；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Thou art very rare； _Ingl閟_。 There is great difference between thee and the last dynamiter who worked with us。〃
〃There is one great difference。〃
〃Tell it to me。〃
〃I am alive and he is dead；〃 Robert Jordan said。 Then： what's the matter with you？ he thought。 Is that the way to talk？ Does food make you that slap happy？ What are you； drunk on onions？ Is that all it means to you； now？ It never meant much； he told himself truly。 You tried to make it mean something； but it never did。 There is no need to lie in the time that is left。
〃No；〃 he said； seriously now。 〃That one was a man who had suffered greatly。〃
〃And thou？ Hast thou not suffered？〃
〃No；〃 said Robert Jordan。 〃I am of those who suffer little。〃
〃Me also；〃 Agust韓 told him。 〃There are those who suffer and those who do not。 I suffer very little。〃
〃Less bad；〃 Robert Jordan tipped up the wineskin again。 〃And with this； less。〃
〃I suffer for others。〃
〃As all good men should。〃
〃But for myself very little。〃
〃Hast thou a wife？〃
〃No。〃
〃Me neither。〃
〃But now you have the Maria。〃
〃Yes。〃
〃There is a rare thing；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Since she came to us at the train the Pilar has kept her away from all as fiercely as though she were in a convent of Carmelites。 You cannot imagine with what fierceness she guarded her。 You come； and she gives her to thee as a present。 How does that seem to thee？〃
〃It was not thus。〃
〃How was it； then？〃
〃She has put her in my care。〃
〃And thy care is to _joder_ with her all night？〃
〃With luck。〃
〃What a manner to care for one。〃
〃You do not understand that one can take good care of one thus？〃
〃Yes； but such care could have been furnished by any one of us。〃
〃Let us not talk of it any more；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃I care for her seriously。〃
〃Seriously？〃
〃As there can be nothing more serious in this world。〃
〃And afterwards？ After this of the bridge？〃
〃She goes with me。〃
〃Then；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃That no one speaks of it further and that the two of you go with all luck。〃
He lifted the leather wine bag and took a long pull； then handed it to Robert Jordan。
〃One thing more； _Ingl閟_；〃 he said。
〃Of course。〃
〃I have cared much for her； too。〃
Robert Jordan put his hand on his shoulder。
〃Much；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃Much。 More than one is able to imagine。〃
〃I can imagine。〃
〃She has made an impression on me that does not dissipate。〃
〃I can imagine。〃
〃Look。 I say this to thee in all seriousness。〃
〃Say it。〃
〃I have never touched her nor had anything to do with her but I care for her greatly。 _Ingl閟_； do not treat her lightly。 Because she sleeps with thee she is no whore。〃
〃I will care for her。〃
〃I believe thee。 But more。 You do not understand how such a girl would be if there had been no revolution。 You have much responsibility。 This one； truly； has suffered much。 She is not as we are。〃
〃I will marry her。〃
〃Nay。 Not that。 There is no need for that under the revolution。 But〃 he nodded his head〃it would be better。〃
〃I will marry her；〃 Robert Jordan said and could feel his throat swelling as he said it。 〃I care for her greatly。〃
〃Later；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃When it is convenient。 The important thing is to have the intention。〃
〃I have it。〃
〃Listen；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃I am speaking too much of a matter in which I have no right to intervene； but hast thou known many girls of this country？〃
〃A few。〃
〃Whores？〃
〃Some who were not。〃
〃How many？〃
〃Several。〃
〃And did you sleep with them？〃
〃No。〃
〃You see？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃What I mean is that this Maria does not do this lightly。〃
〃Nor I。〃
〃If I thought you did I would have shot you last night as you lay with her。 For this we kill much here。〃
〃Listen； old one；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃It is because of the lack of time that there has been informality。 What we do not have is time。 Tomorrow we must fight。 To me that is nothing。 But for the Maria and me it means that we must live all of our life in this time。〃
〃And a day and a night is little time；〃 Agust韓 said。
〃Yes。 But there has been yesterday and the night before and last night。〃
〃Look；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃If I can aid thee。〃
〃No。 We are all right。〃
〃If I could do anything for thee or for the cropped head〃
〃No。〃
〃Truly； there is little one man can do for another。〃
〃No。 There is much。〃
〃What？〃
〃No matter what passes today and tomorrow in respect to combat； give me thy confidence and obey even though the orders may appear wrong。〃
〃You have my confidence。 Since this of the cavalry and the sending away of the horse。〃
〃That was nothing。 You see that we are working for one thing。 To win the war。 Unless we win； all other things are futile。 Tomorrow we have a thing of great importance。 Of true importance。 Also we will have combat。 In combat there must be discipline。 For many things are not as they appear。 Discipline must come from trust and confidence。〃
Agust韓 spat on the ground。
〃The Maria and all such things are apart；〃 he said。 〃That you and the Maria should make use of what time there is as two human beings。 If I can aid thee I am at thy orders。 But for the thing of tomorrow I will obey thee blindly。 If it is necessary that one should die for the thing of tomorrow one goes gladly and with the
