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第20部分

the marriage contract-第20部分

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〃Oh! mother; how can you think of living without your Natalie?〃



〃Because; dear angel; I shall live for her。 My mother's heart will be

satisfied in the thought that I contribute; as I ought; to your future

happiness。〃



〃But; my dear; adorable mother; must I be alone with Paul; here; now;

all at once? What will become of me? what will happen? what must I do?

what must I not do?〃



〃Poor child! do you think that I would utterly abandon you to your

first battle? We will write to each other three times a week like

lovers。 We shall thus be close to each other's hearts incessantly。

Nothing can happen to you that I shall not know; and I can save you

from all misfortune。 Besides; it would be too ridiculous if I never

went to see you; it would seem to show dislike or disrespect to your

husband; I will always spend a month or two every year with you in

Paris。〃



〃Alone; already alone; and with him!〃 cried Natalie in terror;

interrupting her mother。



〃But you wish to be his wife?〃



〃Yes; I wish it。 But tell me how I should behave;you; who did what

you pleased with my father。 You know the way; I'll obey you blindly。〃



Madame Evangelista kissed her daughter's forehead。 She had willed and

awaited this request。



〃Child; my counsels must adept themselves to circumstances。 All men

are not alike。 The lion and the frog are not more unlike than one man

compared with another;morally; I mean。 Do I know to…day what will

happen to you to…morrow? No; therefore I can only give you general

advice upon the whole tenor of your conduct。〃



〃Dear mother; tell me; quick; all that you know yourself。〃



〃In the first place; my dear child; the cause of the failure of

married women who desire to keep their husbands' heartsand;〃 she

said; making a parenthesis; 〃to keep their hearts and rule them is one

and the same thingWell; the principle cause of conjugal disunion is

to be found in perpetual intercourse; which never existed in the olden

time; but which has been introduced into this country of late years

with the mania for family。 Since the Revolution the manners and

customs of the bourgeois have invaded the homes of the aristocracy。

This misfortune is due to one of their writers; Rousseau; an infamous

heretic; whose ideas were all anti…social and who pretended; I don't

know how; to justify the most senseless things。 He declared that all

women had the same rights and the same faculties; that living in a

state of society we ought; nevertheless; to obey natureas if the

wife of a Spanish grandee; as if you or I had anything in common with

the women of the people! Since then; well…bred women have suckled

their children; have educated their daughters; and stayed in their own

homes。 Life has become so involved that happiness is almost

impossible;for a perfect harmony between natures such as that which

has made you and me live as two friends is an exception。 Perpetual

contact is as dangerous for parents and children as it is for husband

and wife。 There are few souls in which love survives this fatal

omnipresence。 Therefore; I say; erect between yourself and Paul the

barriers of society; go to balls and operas; go out in the morning;

dine out in the evenings; pay visits constantly; and grant but little

of your time to your husband。 By this means you will always keep your

value to him。 When two beings bound together for life have nothing to

live upon but sentiment; its resources are soon exhausted;

indifference; satiety; and disgust succeed。 When sentiment has

withered what will become of you? Remember; affection once

extinguished can lead to nothing but indifference or contempt。 Be ever

young and ever new to him。 He may weary you;that often happens;but

you must never weary him。 The faculty of being bored without showing

it is a condition of all species of power。 You cannot diversify

happiness by the cares of property or the occupations of a family。 If

you do not make your husband share your social interests; if you do

not keep him amused you will fall into a dismal apathy。 Then begins

the SPLEEN of love。 But a man will always love the woman who amuses

him and keeps him happy。 To give happiness and to receive it are two

lines of feminine conduct which are separated by a gulf。〃



〃Dear mother; I am listening to you; but I don't understand one word

you say。〃



〃If you love Paul to the extent of doing all he asks of you; if you

make your happiness depend on him; all is over with your future life;

you will never be mistress of your home; and the best precepts in the

world will do you no good。〃



〃That is plainer; but I see the rule without knowing how to apply it;〃

said Natalie; laughing。 〃I have the theory; the practice will come。〃



〃My poor Ninie;〃 replied the mother; who dropped an honest tear at the

thought of her daughter's marriage; 〃things will happen to teach it to

youAnd;〃 she continued; after a pause; during which the mother and

daughter held each other closely embraced in the truest sympathy;

〃remember this; my Natalie: we all have our destiny as women; just as

men have their vocation as men。 A woman is born to be a woman of the

world and a charming hostess; as a man is born to be a general or a

poet。 Your vocation is to please。 Your education has formed you for

society。 In these days women should be educated for the salon as they

once were for the gynoecium。 You were not born to be the mother of a

family or the steward of a household。 If you have children; I hope

they will not come to spoil your figure on the morrow of your

marriage; nothing is so bourgeois as to have a child at once。 If you

have them two or three years after your marriage; well and good;

governesses and tutors will bring them up。 YOU are to be the lady; the

great lady; who represents the luxury and the pleasure of the house。

But remember one thinglet your superiority be visible in those

things only which flatter a man's self…love; hide the superiority you

must also acquire over him in great things。〃



〃But you frighten me; mamma;〃 cried Natalie。 〃How can I remember all

these precepts? How shall I ever manage; I; such a child; and so

heedless; to reflect and calculate before I act?〃



〃But; my dear little girl; I am telling you to…day that which you must

surely learn later; buying your experience by fatal faults and errors

of conduct which will cause you bitter regrets and embarrass your

whole life。〃



〃But how must I begin?〃 asked Natalie; artlessly。



〃Instinct will guide you;〃 replied her mother。 〃At this moment Paul

desires you more than he loves you; for love born of desires is a

hope; the love that succeeds their satisfaction is the reality。 There;

my dear; is the question; there lies your power。 What woman is not

loved before marriage? Be so on the morrow and you shall remain so

always。 Paul is a weak man who is easily trained to habit。 If he

yields to you once he will yield always。 A woman ardently desired can

ask all things; do not commit the folly of many women who do not see

the importance of the first hours of their sway;that of wasting your

power on trifles; on silly things with no result。 Use the empire your

husband's first emotions give you to accustom him to obedience。 And

when you make him yield; choose that it be on some unreasonable point;

so as to test the measure of your power by the measure of his

concession。 What victory would there be in making him agree to a

reasonable thing? Would that be obeying you? We must always; as the

Castilian proverb says; take the bull by the horns; when a bull has

once seen the inutility of his defence and of his strength he is

beaten。 When your husband does a foolish thing for you; you can govern

him。〃



〃Why so?〃



〃Because; my child; marriage lasts a lifetime; and a husband is not a

man like other men。 Therefore; never commit the folly of giving

yourself into his power in everything。 Keep up a constant reserve in

your speech and in your actions。 You may even be cold to him without

danger; for you can modify coldness at will。 Besides; nothing is more

easy to maintain than our dignity。 The words; 'It is not becoming in

your wife to do thus and so;' is a great talisman。 The life of a woman

lies in the words; 'I will not。' They are the final argument。 Feminine

power is in them; and therefore they should only be used on real

occasions。 But they constitute a means of governing far beyond that of

argument or discussion。 I; my dear child; reigned over your father by

his faith in me。 If your husband believes in you; you can do all

things with him。 To inspire that belief you must make him think that

you understand him。 Do not suppose that that is an easy thing to do。 A

woman can always make a man think that he is loved; but to make him

admit that he is understood is far more difficult。 I am bound to tell

you all now; my child; for to…morrow life with its complications; life

with two wills which MUST be made one; begins for you。 Bear in mind;

at all moments; that difficulty。 The only means of harmonizing your

two wills is to arrange from the first that there shall be but one;

and that will must be yours。 Many persons declare that a wife creates

her own unhappiness by changing sides in this way; but; my dear; she

can only become the mistress by controlling events instead of bearing

them; and that advantage compensates for any difficulty。〃



Natalie kissed her mother's hands with tears of gratitude。 Like all

women in whom mental emotion is never warmed by physical emotion; she

suddenly comprehended the bearings of this feminine policy; but; like

a spoiled child that never admits the force of reason and returns

obstinately to its one desire; she came back to the charge with one of

those personal arguments which the logic of a child suggests:



〃Dear mamma;〃 she said; 〃it is only a few days since you were talking

of Paul's advancement; and saying that you alone coul

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