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The　moment　Bella　walked　through　the　door；　her　eyes　flashed　to　the　table　where　
my　siblings　sat。　　She　stared　for　a　moment；　and　then　her　forehead　crumpled　and　her　eyes　
dropped　to　the　floor。　　She　hadn't　noticed　me　here。　
She　looked　so？sad。　　I　felt　a　powerful　urge　to　get　up　and　go　to　her　side；　to　
comfort　her　somehow；　only　I　didn't　know　what　she　would　find　comforting。　　I　had　no　idea　
what　made　her　look　that　way。　　Jessica　continued　to　jabber　about　the　dance。　　Was　Bella　
sad　that　she　was　going　to　miss　it？　　That　didn't　seem　likely？　
But　that　could　be　remedied；　if　she　wished。　
She　bought　a　drink　for　her　lunch　and　nothing　else。　　Was　that　right？　　Didn't　she　
need　more　nutrition　than　that？　　I'd　never　paid　much　attention　to　a　human's　diet　before。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
118　

Humans　were　quite　exasperatingly　fragile！　　There　were　a　million　different　things　
to　worry　about？　
〃Edward　Cullen　is　staring　at　you　again；〃　I　heard　Jessica　say。　　〃I　wonder　why　he's　
sitting　alone　today？〃　
I　was　grateful　to　Jessica—though　she　was　even　more　resentful　now—because　
Bella's　head　snapped　up　and　her　eyes　searched　until　they　met　mine。　
There　was　no　trace　of　sadness　in　her　face　now。　　I　let　myself　hope　that　she'd　been　
sad　because　she'd　thought　I'd　left　school　early；　and　that　hope　made　me　smile。　
I　motioned　with　my　finger　for　her　to　join　me。　　She　looked　so　startled　by　this　that　I　
wanted　to　tease　her　again。　
So　I　winked；　and　her　mouth　fell　open。　
〃Does　he　mean　you？〃　Jessica　asked　rudely。　
〃Maybe　he　needs　help　with　his　Biology　homework；〃　she　said　in　a　low；　uncertain　
voice。　　〃Um；　I'd　better　go　see　what　he　wants。〃　
This　was　another　yes。　
She　stumbled　twice　on　her　way　to　my　table；　though　there　was　nothing　in　her　way　
but　perfectly　even　linoleum。　　Seriously；　how　had　I　missed　this　before？　　I'd　been　paying　
more　attention　to　her　silent　thoughts；　I　supposed？　　What　else　had　I　missed？　
Keep　it　honest；　keep　it　light；　I　chanted　to　myself。　
She　stopped　behind　the　chair　across　from　me；　hesitating。　　I　inhaled　deeply；　
through　my　nose　this　time　rather　than　my　mouth。　
Feel　the　burn；　I　thought　dryly。　
〃Why　don't　you　sit　with　me　today？〃　I　asked　her。　
She　pulled　the　chair　out　and　sat；　staring　at　me　the　whole　while。　　She　seemed　
nervous；　but　her　physical　acceptance　was　yet　another　yes。　
I　waited　for　her　to　speak。　
It　took　a　moment；　but；　finally；　she　said；　〃This　is　different。〃　
〃Well？〃　I　hesitated。　　〃I　decided　as　long　as　I　was　going　to　hell；　I　might　as　well　do　
it　thoroughly。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
119　

What　had　made　me　say　that？　　I　supposed　it　was　honest；　at　least。　　And　perhaps　
she'd　hear　the　unsubtle　warning　my　words　implied。　　Maybe　she　would　realize　that　she　
should　get　up　and　walk　away　as　quickly　as　possible？　
She　didn't　get　up。　　She　stared　at　me；　waiting；　as　if　I'd　left　my　sentence　unfinished。　
〃You　know　I　don't　have　any　idea　what　you　mean；〃　she　said　when　I　didn't　
continue。　
That　was　a　relief。　　I　smiled。　
〃I　know。〃　
It　was　hard　to　ignore　the　thoughts　screaming　at　me　from　behind　her　back—and　I　
wanted　to　change　the　subject　anyway。　
〃I　think　your　friends　are　angry　at　me　for　stealing　you。〃　
This　did　not　appear　to　concern　her。　　〃They'll　survive。〃　
〃I　may　not　give　you　back；　though。〃　　I　didn't　even　know　if　I　was　trying　to　be　
honest　now；　or　just　trying　to　tease　her　again。　　Being　near　her　made　it　hard　to　make　sense　
of　my　own　thoughts。　
Bella　swallowed　loudly。　
I　laughed　at　her　expression。　　〃You　look　worried。〃　　It　really　shouldn't　be　funny？　
She　should　worry。　
〃No。〃　　She　was　a　bad　liar；　it　didn't　help　that　her　voice　broke。　　〃Surprised；　
actually？。　　What　brought　this　on？〃　
〃I　told　you；〃　I　reminded　her。　　〃I　got　tired　of　trying　to　stay　away　from　you。　　So　I'm　
giving　up。〃　　I　held　my　smile　in　place　with　a　bit　of　effort。　　This　wasn't　working　at　all—　
trying　to　be　honest　and　casual　at　the　same　time。　
〃Giving　up？〃　she　repeated；　baffled。　
〃Yes—giving　up　trying　to　be　good。〃　　And；　apparently；　giving　up　trying　to　be　
casual。　　〃I'm　just　going　to　do　what　I　want　now；　and　let　the　chips　fall　where　they　may。〃　
That　was　honest　enough。　　Let　her　see　my　selfishness。　　Let　that　warn　her；　too。　
〃You　lost　me　again。〃　
I　was　selfish　enough　to　be　glad　that　this　was　the　case。　　〃I　always　say　too　much　
when　I'm　talking　to　you—that's　one　of　the　problems。〃　
A　rather　insignificant　problem；　compared　to　the　rest。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
120　

〃Don't　worry；〃　she　reassured　me。　〃I　don't　understand　any　of　it。〃　
Good。　　Then　she'd　stay。　　〃I'm　counting　on　that。〃　
〃So；　in　plain　English；　are　we　friends　now？〃　
I　pondered　that　for　a　second。　　〃Friends？〃　I　repeated。　　I　didn't　like　the　sound　of　
that。　　It　wasn't　enough。　
〃Or　not；〃　she　mumbled；　looking　embarrassed。　
Did　she　think　I　didn't　like　her　that　much？　
I　smiled。　　〃Well；　we　can　try；　I　suppose。　　But　I'm　warning　you　now　that　I'm　not　a　
good　friend　for　you。〃　
I　waited　for　her　response；　torn　in　two—wishing　she　would　finally　hear　and　
understand；　thinking　I　might　die　if　she　did。　　How　melodramatic。　　I　was　turning　into　such　a　
human。　
Her　heart　beat　faster。　　〃You　say　that　a　lot。〃　
〃Yes；　because　you're　not　listening　to　me；〃　I　said；　too　intense　again。　　〃I'm　still　
waiting　for　you　to　believe　it。　　If　you're　smart；　you'll　avoid　me。〃　
Ah；　but　would　I　allow　her　to　do　that；　if　she　tried？　
Her　eyes　tightened。　　〃I　think　you've　made　your　opinion　on　the　subject　of　my　
intellect　clear；　too。〃　
I　wasn't　exactly　sure　what　she　meant；　but　I　smiled　in　apology；　guessing　that　I　
must　have　offended　her　accidentally。　
〃So；〃　she　said　slowly。　　〃As　long　as　I'm　being？not　smart；　we'll　try　to　be　friends？〃　
〃That　sounds　about　right。〃　
She　looked　down；　staring　intently　at　the　lemonade　bottle　in　her　hands。　
The　old　curiosity　tormented　me。　
〃What　are　you　thinking？〃　I　asked—it　was　a　relief　to　say　the　words　out　loud　at　
last。　
She　met　my　gaze；　and　her　breathing　sped　while　her　cheeks　flushed　faint　pink。　　I　
inhaled；　tasting　that　in　the　air。　
〃I'm　trying　to　figure　out　what　you　are。〃　
I　held　the　smile　on　my　face；　locking　my　features　that　way；　while　panic　twisted　
through　my　body。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
121　

Of　course　she　was　wondering　that。　　She　wasn't　stupid。　　I　couldn't　hope　for　her　to　
be　oblivious　to　something　so　obvious。　
〃Are　you　having　any　luck　with　that？〃　I　asked　as　lightly　as　I　could　manage。　
〃Not　too　much；〃　she　admitted。　
I　chuckled　in　sudden　relief。　　〃What　are　your　theories？〃　
They　couldn't　be　worse　than　the　truth；　no　matter　what　she'd　come　up　with。　
Her　cheeks　turned　brighter　red；　and　she　said　nothing。　　I　could　feel　the　warmth　of　
her　blush　in　the　air。　
I　tried　using　my　persuasive　tone　on　her。　　It　worked　well　on　normal　humans。　
〃Won't　you　tell　me？〃　　I　smiled　encouragingly。　
She　shook　her　head。　　〃Too　embarrassing。〃　
Ugh。　　Not　knowing　was　worse　than　anything　else。　　Why　would　her　speculations　
embarrass　her？　　I　couldn't　stand　not　knowing。　
〃That's　really　frustrating；　you　know。〃　
My　complaint　sparked　something　in　her。　　Her　eyes　flashed　and　her　words　flowed　
more　swiftly　than　usual。　
〃No；　I　can't　imagine　why　that　would　be　frustrating　at　all—just　because　someone　
refuses　to　tell　you　what　they're　thinking；　even　if　all　the　while　they're　making　cryptic　little　
remarks　specifically　designed　to　keep　you　up　at　night　wondering　what　they　could　
possibly　mean？now；　why　would　that　be　frustrating？〃　
I　frowned　at　her；　upset　to　realize　that　she　was　right。　　I　wasn't　being　fair。　
She　went　on。　　〃Or　better；　say　that　person　also　did　a　wide　range　of　bizarre　things—　
from　saving　your　life　under　impossible　circumstances　one　day　to　treating　you　like　a　
pariah　the　next；　and　he　never　explained　any　of　that　either；　even　after　he　promised。　　That；　
also；　would　be　very　non…frustrating。〃　
It　was　the　longest　speech　I'd　ever　heard　her　make；　and　it　gave　me　a　new　quality　
for　my　list。　
〃You've　got　a　bit　of　a　temper；　don't　you？〃　
〃I　don't　like　double　standards。〃　
She　was　completely　justified　in　her　irritation；　of　course。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
122　

I　stared　at　Bella；　wondering　how　I　could　possibly　do　anything　right　by　her；　until　
the　silent　shouting　in　Mike　Newton's　head　distracted　me。　
He　was　so　irate　that　it　made　me　chuckle。　
〃What？〃　she　demanded。　
〃Your　boyfriend　seems　to　think　I'm　being　unpleasant　to　you—he's　debating　
whether　or　not　to　come　break　up　our　fight。〃　　I　would　love　to　see　him　try。　　I　laughed　again。　
〃I　don't　know　who　you're　talking　about；〃　she　said　in　an　icy　voice。　　〃But　I'm　sure　
you're　wrong　anyway。〃　
I　very　much　enjoyed　the　way　she　disowned　him　with　her　dismissive　sentence。　
〃I'm　not。　　I　told　you；　most　people　are　easy　to　read。〃　
〃Except　me；　of　course。〃　
〃Yes。　　Except　for　you。〃　　Did　she　have　to　be　the　exception　to　everything？　
Wouldn't　it　have　been　more　fair—considering　everything　else　I　had　to　deal　with　now—if　
I　could　have　at　least　heard　something　from　her　head？　　Was　that　so　much　to　ask？　　〃I　
wonder　why　that　is？〃　
I　stared　into　her　eyes；　trying　again？　
She　looked　away。　　She　opened　her　lemonade　and　took　a　quick　drink；　her　eyes　on　
the　table。　
〃Aren't　you　hungry？〃　I　asked。　
〃No。〃　　She　eyed　the　empty　table　between　us。　　〃You？〃　
〃No；　I'm　not　hungry；〃　I　said。　　I　was　definitely　not　that。　
She　stared　at　the　table　her　lips　pursed。　　I　waited。　
〃Could　you　do　me　a　favor？〃　she　asked；　suddenly　meeting　my　gaze　again。　
What　would　she　want　from　me？　　Would　she　ask　for　the　truth　that　I　wasn't　allowed　
to　tell　her—the　truth　I　didn't　want　her　to　ever；　ever　know？　
〃That　depends　on　what　you　want。〃　
〃It's　not　much；〃　she　promised。　
I　waited；　curious　again。　
〃I　just　wondered？〃　she　said　slowly；　staring　at　the　lemonade　bottle；　tracing　its　lip　
with　her　littlest　finger。　　〃If　you　could　warn　me　beforehand　the　next　time　you　decide　to　
ignore　me　for　my　own　good？　　Just　so　I'm　prepared。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
123　
She　wanted　a　warning？　　Then　being　ignored　by　me　must　be　a　bad　thing？　　I　
smiled。　
〃That　sounds　fair；〃　I　agreed。　
〃Thanks；〃　she　said；　looking　up。　　Her　face　was　so　relieved　that　I　wanted　to　laugh　
with　my　own　relief。　
〃Then　can　I　have　one　in　return？〃　I　asked　hopefully。　
〃One；〃　she　allowed。　
〃Tell　me　one　theory。〃　
She　flushed。　　〃Not　that　one。〃　
〃You　didn't　qualify；　you　just　promised　one　answer；〃　I　argued。　
〃And　you've　broken　promises　yoursel