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I　ignored　his　joke　again；　but　answered　his　question。　　〃Have　you　ever　thought　
about　how　fragile　they　all　are？　　How　many　bad　things　there　are　that　can　happen　to　a　
mortal？〃　
〃Not　really。　　I　guess　I　see　what　you　mean；　though。　　I　wasn't　much　match　for　a　
bear　that　first　time　around；　was　I？〃　
〃Bears；〃　I　muttered；　adding　a　new　fear　to　the　pile。　　〃That　would　be　just　her　luck；　
wouldn't　it？　　Stray　bear　in　town。　　Of　course　it　would　head　straight　for　Bella。〃　
Emmett　chuckled。　　〃You　sound　like　a　crazy　person；　do　you　know　that？〃　
〃Just　imagine　for　one　minute　that　Rosalie　was　human；　Emmett。　　And　she　could　
run　into　a　bear？or　get　hit　by　a　car？or　lightening？or　fall　down　stairs？or　get　sick—get　
a　disease！〃　　The　words　burst　from　me　stormily。　　It　was　a　relief　to　let　them　out—they'd　
been　festering　inside　me　all　weekend。　　〃Fires　and　earthquakes　and　tornados！　　Ugh！　
When's　the　last　time　you　watched　the　news？　　Have　you　seen　the　kinds　of　things　that　
happen　to　them？　　Burglaries　and　homicides？〃　My　teeth　clenched　together；　and　I　was　
abruptly　so　infuriated　by　the　idea　of　another　human　hurting　her　that　I　couldn't　breathe。　
〃Whoa；　whoa！　　Hold　up；　there；　kid。　　She　lives　in　Forks；　remember？　　So　she　gets　
rained　on。〃　　He　shrugged。　
〃I　think　she　has　some　serious　bad　luck；　Emmett；　I　really　do。　　Look　at　the　evidence。　
Of　all　the　places　in　the　world　she　could　go；　she　ends　up　in　a　town　where　vampires　make　
up　a　significant　portion　of　the　population。〃　
〃Yeah；　but　we're　vegetarians。　　So　isn't　that　good　luck；　not　bad？〃　
〃With　the　way　she　smells？　　Definitely　bad。　　And　then；　more　bad　luck；　the　way　she　
smells　to　me。〃　　I　glowered　at　my　hands；　hating　them　again。　
〃Except　that　you　have　more　self…control　than　just　about　anyone　but　Carlisle。　
Good　luck　again。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
151　

〃The　van？〃　
〃That　was　just　an　accident。〃　
〃You　should　have　seen　it　coming　for　her；　Em；　again　and　again。　　I　swear；　it　was　
like　she　had　some　kind　of　magnetic　pull。〃　
〃But　you　were　there。　　That　was　good　luck。〃　
〃Was　it？　　Isn't　this　the　worst　luck　any　human　could　ever　possibly　have—to　have　a　
vampire　fall　in　love　with　them？〃　
Emmett　considered　that　quietly　for　a　moment。　　He　pictured　the　girl　in　his　head；　
and　found　the　image　uninteresting。　　Honestly；　I　can't　really　see　the　draw。　
〃Well；　I　can't　really　see　Rosalie's　allure；　either；〃　I　said　rudely。　　〃Honestly；　she　
seems　like　more　work　than　any　pretty　face　is　worth。〃　
Emmett　chuckled。　　〃I　don't　suppose　you'd　tell　me？〃　
〃I　don't　know　what　her　problem　is；　Emmett；〃　I　lied　with　a　sudden；　wide　grin。　
I　saw　his　intent　in　time　to　brace　myself。　　He　tried　to　shove　me　off　the　rock；　and　
there　was　a　loud　cracking　sound　as　a　fissure　opened　in　the　stone　between　us。　
〃Cheater；〃　he　muttered。　
I　waited　for　him　to　try　another　time；　but　his　thoughts　took　a　different　direction。　
He　was　picturing　Bella's　face　again；　but　imagining　it　whiter；　imagining　her　eyes　bright　
red？　
〃No；〃　I　said；　my　voice　strangled。　
〃It　solves　your　worries　about　mortality；　doesn't　it？　　And　then　you　wouldn't　want　
to　kill　her；　either。　　Isn't　that　the　best　way？〃　
〃For　me？　　Or　for　her？〃　
〃For　you；〃　he　answered　easily。　　His　tone　added　the　of　course。　
I　laughed　humorlessly。　　〃Wrong　answer。〃　
〃I　didn't　mind　so　much；〃　he　reminded　me。　
〃Rosalie　did。〃　
He　sighed。　　We　both　knew　that　Rosalie　would　do　anything；　give　up　anything；　if　it　
meant　she　could　be　human　again。　　Even　Emmett。　
〃Yeah；　Rose　did；〃　he　acquiesced　quietly。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
152　

〃I　can't？　　I　shouldn't？　　I'm　not　going　to　ruin　Bella's　life。　　Wouldn't　you　feel　the　
same；　if　it　were　Rosalie？〃　
Emmett　thought　about　that　for　a　moment。　　You　really？love　her？　
〃I　can't　even　describe　it；　Emmett。　　All　of　a　sudden；　this　girl's　the　whole　world　to　
me。　　I　don't　see　the　point　of　the　rest　of　the　world　without　her　anymore。〃　
But　you　won't　change　her？　　She　won't　last　forever；　Edward。　
〃I　know　that；〃　I　groaned。　
And；　as　you've　pointed　out；　she's　sort　of　breakable。　
〃Trust　me—that　I　know；　too。〃　
Emmett　was　not　a　tactful　person；　and　delicate　discussions　were　not　his　forte。　　He　
struggled　now；　wanting　very　much　not　to　be　offensive。　
Can　you　even　touch　her？　　I　mean；　if　you　love　her？wouldn't　you　want　to；　well　
touch　her？？　
Emmett　and　Rosalie　shared　an　intensely　physical　love。　　He　had　a　hard　time　
understanding　how　one　could　love；　without　that　aspect。　
I　sighed。　　〃I　can't　even　think　of　that；　Emmett。〃　
Wow。　　So　what　are　your　options；　then？　
〃I　don't　know；〃　I　whispered。　　〃I'm　trying　to　figure　out　a　way　to？to　leave　her。　　I　
just　can't　fathom　how　to　make　myself　stay　away？〃　
With　a　deep　sense　of　gratification；　I　suddenly　realized　that　it　was　right　for　me　to　
stay—at　least　for　now；　with　Peter　and　Charlotte　on　their　way。　　She　was　safer　with　me　
here；　temporarily；　than　she　would　be　if　I　were　gone。　　For　the　moment；　I　could　be　her　
unlikely　protector。　
The　thought　made　me　anxious；　I　itched　to　be　back　so　that　I　could　fill　that　role　for　
as　long　as　possible。　
Emmett　noticed　the　change　in　my　expression。　　What　are　you　thinking　about？　
〃Right　now；〃　I　admitted　a　bit　sheepishly；　〃I'm　dying　to　run　back　to　Forks　and　
check　on　her。　　I　don't　know　if　I'll　make　it　till　Sunday　night。〃　
〃Uh…uh！　　You　are　not　going　home　early。　　Let　Rosalie　cool　down　a　little　bit。　
Please！　　For　my　sake。〃　
〃I'll　try　to　stay；〃　I　said　doubtfully。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
153　

Emmett　tapped　the　phone　in　my　pocket。　　〃Alice　would　call　if　there　were　any　basis　
for　your　panic　attack。　　She's　as　weird　about　this　girl　as　you　are。〃　
I　grimaced　at　that。　　〃Fine。　　But　I'm　not　staying　past　Sunday。〃　
〃There's　no　point　in　hurrying　back—it's　going　to　be　sunny；　anyway。　　Alice　said　
we　were　free　from　school　until　Wednesday。〃　
I　shook　my　head　rigidly。　
〃Peter　and　Charlotte　know　how　to　behave　themselves。〃　
〃I　really　don't　care；　Emmett。　　With　Bella's　luck；　she'll　go　wandering　off　into　the　
woods　at　exactly　the　wrong　moment　and—〃　I　flinched。　　〃Peter　isn't　known　for　his　self…　
control。　　I'm　going　back　Sunday。〃　
Emmett　sighed。　　Exactly　like　a　crazy　person。　
Bella　was　sleeping　peacefully　when　I　climbed　up　to　her　bedroom　window　early　Monday　
morning。　　I'd　remembered　oil　this　time；　and　the　window　now　moved　silently　out　of　my　
way。　
I　could　tell　by　the　way　her　hair　lay　smooth　across　the　pillow　that　she'd　had　a　less　
restless　night　than　the　last　time　I　was　here。　　She　had　her　hands　folded　under　her　cheek　like　
a　small　child；　and　her　mouth　was　slightly　open。　　I　could　hear　her　breath　moving　slowly　in　
and　out　between　her　lips。　
It　was　an　amazing　relief　to　be　here；　to　be　able　to　see　her　again。　　I　realized　that　I　
wasn't　truly　at　ease　unless　that　was　the　case。　　Nothing　was　right　when　I　was　away　from　
her。　
Not　that　all　was　right　when　I　was　with　her；　either；　though。　　I　sighed；　letting　the　
thirst　fire　rake　through　my　throat。　　I'd　been　away　from　it　too　long。　　The　time　spent　
without　pain　and　temptation　made　it　all　the　more　forceful　now。　　It　was　bad　enough　that　I　
was　afraid　to　go　kneel　beside　her　bed　so　that　I　could　read　the　titles　of　her　books。　　I　wanted　
to　know　the　stories　in　her　head；　but　I　was　afraid　of　more　than　my　thirst；　afraid　that　if　I　let　
myself　get　that　close　to　her；　I　would　want　to　be　closer　still？　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
154　

Her　lips　looked　very　soft　and　warm。　　I　could　imagine　touching　them　with　the　tip　
of　my　finger。　　Just　lightly？　
That　was　exactly　the　kind　of　mistake　that　I　had　to　avoid。　
My　eyes　ran　over　her　face　again　and　again；　examining　it　for　changes。　　Mortals　
changed　all　the　time—I　was　sad　at　the　thought　of　missing　anything？　
I　thought　she　looked？tired。　　Like　she　hadn't　gotten　enough　sleep　this　weekend。　
Had　she　gone　out？　
I　laughed　silently　and　wryly　at　how　much　that　upset　me。　　So　what　if　she　had？　　I　
didn't　own　her。　　She　wasn't　mine。　
No；　she　wasn't　mine—and　I　was　sad　again。　
One　of　her　hands　twitched；　and　I　noticed　that　there　were　shallow；　barely　healed　
scrapes　across　the　heel　of　her　palm。　　She'd　been　hurt？　　Even　though　it　was　obviously　not　
a　serious　injury；　it　still　disturbed　me。　　I　considered　the　location；　and　decided　she　must　
have　tripped。　　That　seemed　a　reasonable　explanation；　all　things　considered。　
It　was　comforting　to　think　that　I　wouldn't　have　to　puzzle　over　either　of　these　
small　mysteries　forever。　　We　were　friends　now—or；　at　least；　trying　to　be　friends。　　I　could　
ask　her　about　her　weekend—about　the　beach；　and　whatever　late　night　activity　had　made　
her　look　so　weary。　　I　could　ask　what　had　happened　to　her　hands。　　And　I　could　laugh　a　
little　when　she　confirmed　my　theory　about　them。　
I　smiled　gently　as　I　wondered　whether　or　not　she　had　fallen　in　the　ocean。　　I　
wondered　if　she'd　had　a　pleasant　time　on　the　outing。　　I　wondered　if　she'd　thought　about　
me　at　all。　　If　she'd　missed　me　even　the　tiniest　portion　of　the　amount　that　I'd　missed　her。　
I　tried　to　picture　her　in　the　sun　on　the　beach。　　The　picture　was　incomplete；　though；　
because　I'd　never　been　to　First　Beach　myself。　　I　only　knew　how　it　looked　in　pictures？　
I　felt　a　tiny　qualm　of　unease　as　I　thought　about　the　reason　why　I'd　never　once　
been　to　the　pretty　beach　located　just　a　few　minutes　run　from　my　home。　　Bella　had　spent　
the　day　at　La　Push—a　place　where　I　was　forbidden；　by　treaty；　to　go。　　A　place　where　a　few　
old　men　still　remembered　the　stories　about　the　Cullens；　remembered　and　believed　them。　
A　place　where　our　secret　was　known？　
I　shook　my　head。　　I　had　nothing　to　worry　about　there。　　The　Quileutes　were　bound　
by　treaty；　too。　　Even　had　Bella　run　into　one　of　those　aging　sages；　they　could　reveal　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
155　

nothing。　　And　why　would　the　subject　ever　be　broached？　　Why　would　Bella　think　to　voice　
her　curiosity　there？　　No—the　Quileutes　were　perhaps　the　one　thing　I　did　not　have　to　
worry　about。　
I　was　angry　with　the　sun　when　it　began　to　rise。　　It　reminded　me　that　I　could　not　
satisfy　my　curiosity　for　days　to　come。　　Why　did　it　choose　to　shine　now？　
With　a　sigh；　I　ducked　out　her　window　before　it　was　light　enough　for　anyone　to　see　
me　here。　　I　meant　to　stay　in　the　thick　forest　by　her　house　and　see　her　off　to　school；　but　
when　I　got　into　the　trees；　I　was　surprised　to　find　the　trace　of　her　scent　lingering　on　the　
trail　there。　
I　followed　it　quickly；　curi