5 midnigh+sun-第31部分

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trail　there。　
I　followed　it　quickly；　curiously；　becoming　more　and　more　worried　as　it　led　deeper　
into　the　darkness。　　What　had　Bella　been　doing　out　here？　
The　trail　stopped　abruptly；　in　the　middle　of　nowhere　in　particular。　　She'd　gone　just　
a　few　steps　off　the　trail；　into　the　ferns；　where　she'd　touched　the　trunk　of　a　fallen　tree。　
Perhaps　sat　there？　
I　sat　where　she　had；　and　looked　around。　　All　she　would　have　been　able　to　see　was　
ferns　and　forest。　　It　had　probably　been　raining—the　scent　was　washed　out；　having　never　
set　deeply　into　the　tree。　
Why　would　Bella　have　come　to　sit　here　alone—and　she　had　been　alone；　no　doubt　
about　that—in　the　middle　of　the　wet；　murky　forest？　
It　made　no　sense；　and；　unlike　those　other　points　of　curiosity；　I　could　hardly　bring　
this　up　in　casual　conversation。　
So；　Bella；　I　was　following　your　scent　through　the　woods　after　I　left　your　room　
where　I'd　been　watching　you　sleep？　Yes；　that　would　be　quite　the　ice　breaker。　
I　would　never　know　what　she'd　been　thinking　and　doing　here；　and　that　had　my　
teeth　grinding　together　in　frustration。　　Worse；　this　was　far　too　much　like　the　scenario　I'd　
imagined　for　Emmett—Bella　wandering　alone　in　the　woods；　where　her　scent　would　call　
to　anyone　who　had　the　senses　to　track　it？　
I　groaned。　　Not　only　did　she　have　bad　luck；　but　she　courted　it。　
Well；　for　this　moment　she　had　a　protector。　　I　would　watch　over　her；　keep　her　from　
harm；　for　as　long　as　I　could　justify　it。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
156　

I　suddenly　found　myself　wishing　that　Peter　and　Charlotte　would　make　an　
extended　stay。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
157　
8。　Ghost　
I　did　not　see　much　of　Jasper's　guests　for　the　two　sunny　days　that　they　were　in　Forks。　　I　
only　went　home　at　all　so　that　Esme　wouldn't　worry。　　Otherwise；　my　existence　seemed　
more　like　that　of　a　specter　than　a　vampire。　　I　hovered；　invisible　in　the　shadows；　where　I　
could　follow　the　object　of　my　love　and　obsession—where　I　could　see　her　and　hear　her　in　
the　minds　of　the　lucky　humans　who　could　walk　through　the　sunlight　beside　her；　
sometimes　accidentally　brushing　the　back　of　her　hand　with　their　own。　　She　never　reacted　
to　such　contact；　their　hands　were　just　as　warm　as　hers。　
The　enforced　absence　from　school　had　never　been　a　trial　like　this　before。　　But　the　
sun　seemed　to　make　her　happy；　so　I　could　not　resent　it　too　much。　　Anything　that　pleased　
her　was　in　my　good　graces。　
Monday　morning；　I　eavesdropped　on　a　conversation　that　had　the　potential　to　
destroy　my　confidence　and　make　the　time　spent　away　from　her　a　torture。　　As　it　ended　up；　
though；　it　rather　made　my　day。　
I　had　to　feel　some　little　respect　for　Mike　Newton；　he　had　not　simply　given　up　and　
slunk　away　to　nurse　his　wounds。　　He　had　more　bravery　than　I'd　given　him　credit　for。　　He　
was　going　to　try　again。　
Bella　got　to　school　quite　early　and；　seeming　intent　on　enjoying　the　sun　while　it　
lasted；　sat　at　one　of　the　seldom　used　picnic　benches　while　she　waited　for　the　first　bell　to　
ring。　　Her　hair　caught　the　sun　in　unexpected　ways；　giving　off　a　reddish　shine　that　I　had　
not　anticipated。　
Mike　found　her　there；　doodling　again；　and　was　thrilled　at　his　good　luck。　
It　was　agonizing　to　only　be　able　to　watch；　powerless；　bound　to　the　forest's　
shadows　by　the　bright　sunlight。　
She　greeted　him　with　enough　enthusiasm　to　make　him　ecstatic；　and　me　the　
opposite。　
See；　she　likes　me。　　She　wouldn't　smile　like　that　if　she　didn't。　　I　bet　she　wanted　to　
go　to　the　dance　with　me。　　Wonder　what's　so　important　in　Seattle？　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
158　
He　perceived　the　change　in　her　hair。　　〃I　never　noticed　before—your　hair　has　red　in　
it。〃　
I　accidentally　uprooted　the　young　spruce　tree　my　hand　was　resting　on　when　he　
pinched　a　strand　of　her　hair　between　his　fingers。　
〃Only　in　the　sun；〃　she　said。　　To　my　deep　satisfaction；　she　cringed　away　from　him　
slightly　when　he　tucked　the　strand　behind　her　ear。　
It　took　Mike　a　minute　to　build　up　his　courage；　wasting　some　time　on　small　talk。　
She　reminded　him　of　the　essay　we　all　had　due　on　Wednesday。　　From　the　faintly　
smug　expression　on　her　face；　hers　was　already　done。　　He'd　forgotten　altogether；　and　that　
severely　diminished　his　free　time。　
Dang—stupid　essay。　
Finally　he　got　to　the　point—my　teeth　were　clenched　so　hard　they　could　have　
pulverized　granite—and　even　then；　he　couldn't　make　himself　ask　the　question　outright。　
〃I　was　going　to　ask　if　you　wanted　to　go　out。〃　
〃Oh；〃　she　said。　
There　was　a　brief　silence。　
Oh？　　What　does　that　mean？　　Is　she　going　to　yes？　　Wait—I　guess　I　didn't　really　
ask。　
He　swallowed　hard。　
〃Well；　we　could　go　to　dinner　or　something？and　I　could　work　on　it　later。〃　
Stupid—that　wasn't　a　question　either。　
〃Mike？〃　
The　agony　and　fury　of　my　jealousy　was　every　whit　as　powerful　as　it　had　been　last　
week。　　I　broke　another　tree　trying　to　hold　myself　here。　　I　wanted　so　badly　to　race　across　
the　campus；　too　fast　for　human　eyes；　and　snatch　her　up—to　steal　her　away　from　the　boy　
that　I　hated　so　much　in　this　moment　I　could　have　kill　him　and　enjoyed　it。　
Would　she　say　yes　to　him？　
〃I　don't　think　that　would　be　the　best　idea。〃　
I　breathed　again。　　My　rigid　body　relaxed。　
Seattle　was　just　an　excuse；　after　all。　　Shouldn't　have　asked。　　What　was　I　thinking？　
Bet　it's　that　freak；　Cullen？　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
159　

〃Why？〃　he　asked　sullenly。　
〃I　think？〃　she　hesitated。　　〃And　if　you　ever　repeat　what　I'm　saying　right　now　I　
will　cheerfully　beat　you　to　death—〃　
I　laughed　out　loud　at　the　sound　of　a　death　threat　coming　through　her　lips。　　A　jay　
shrieked；　startled；　and　launched　itself　away　from　me。　
〃But　I　think　that　would　hurt　Jessica's　feelings。〃　
〃Jessica？〃　　What？　　But？　　Oh。　　Okay。　　I　guess？　So？　　Huh。　
His　thoughts　were　no　longer　coherent。　
〃Really；　Mike；　are　you　blind？〃　
I　echoed　her　sentiment。　　She　shouldn't　expect　everyone　to　be　as　perceptive　as　she　
was；　but　really　this　instance　was　beyond　obvious。　　With　as　much　trouble　as　Mike　had　had　
working　himself　up　to　ask　Bella　out；　did　he　imagine　it　wasn't　just　as　difficult　for　Jessica？　
It　must　be　selfishness　that　made　him　blind　to　others。　　And　Bella　was　so　unselfish；　she　saw　
everything。　
Jessica。　　Huh。　　Wow。　　Huh。　　〃Oh；〃　he　managed　to　say。　
Bella　used　his　confusion　to　make　her　exit。　
〃It's　time　for　class；　and　I　can't　be　late　again。〃　
Mike　became　an　unreliable　viewpoint　from　then　on。　　He　found；　as　he　turned　the　
idea　of　Jessica　around　and　around　in　his　head；　that　he　rather　liked　the　thought　of　her　
finding　him　attractive。　　It　was　second　place；　not　as　good　as　if　Bella　had　felt　that　way。　
She's　cute；　though；　I　guess。　　Decent　body。　　A　bird　in　the　hand？　
He　was　off　then；　on　to　new　fantasies　that　were　just　as　vulgar　as　the　ones　about　
Bella；　but　now　they　only　irritated　rather　than　infuriated。　　How　little　he　deserved　either　
girl；　they　were　almost　interchangeable　to　him。　　I　stayed　clear　of　his　head　after　that。　
When　she　was　out　of　sight；　I　curled　up　against　the　cool　trunk　of　an　enormous　
madrone　tree　and　I　danced　from　mind　to　mind；　keeping　her　in　sight；　always　glad　when　
Angela　Weber　was　available　to　look　through。　　I　wished　there　was　someway　to　thank　the　
Weber　girl　for　simply　being　a　nice　person。　　It　made　me　feel　better　to　think　that　Bella　had　
one　friend　worth　having。　
I　watched　Bella's　face　from　whichever　angle　I　was　given；　and　I　could　see　that　she　
was　sad　again。　　This　surprised　me—I　thought　the　sun　would　be　enough　to　keep　her　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
160　

smiling。　　At　lunch；　I　saw　her　glance　time　and　time　again　toward　the　empty　Cullen　table；　
and　that　thrilled　me。　　It　gave　me　hope。　　Perhaps　she　missed　me；　too。　
She　had　plans　to　go　out　with　the　other　girls—I　automatically　planned　my　own　
surveillance—but　these　plans　were　postponed　when　Mike　invited　Jessica　out　on　the　date　
he'd　planned　for　Bella。　
So　I　went　straight　to　her　home　instead；　doing　a　quick　sweep　of　the　woods　to　make　
sure　no　one　dangerous　had　wandered　too　close。　　I　knew　Jasper　had　warned　his　one…time　
brother　to　avoid　the　town—citing　my　insanity　as　both　explanation　and　warning—but　I　
wasn't　taking　any　chances。　　Peter　and　Charlotte　had　no　intention　of　causing　animosity　
with　my　family；　but　intentions　were　changeable　things？　
All　right；　I　was　overdoing　it。　I　knew　that。　
As　if　she　knew　I　was　watching；　as　if　she　took　pity　on　the　agony　I　felt　when　I　
couldn't　see　her；　Bella　came　out　to　the　backyard　after　a　long　hour　indoors。　　She　had　a　
book　in　her　hand　and　a　blanket　under　her　arm。　
Silently；　I　climbed　into　the　higher　branches　of　the　closest　tree　overlooking　the　
yard。　
She　spread　the　blanket　on　the　damp　grass　and　then　lay　on　her　stomach　and　started　
flipping　through　the　worn　book；　as　if　trying　to　find　her　place。　　I　read　over　her　shoulder。　
Ah—more　classics。　　She　was　an　Austen　fan。　
She　read　quickly；　crossing　and　recrossing　her　ankles　in　the　air。　　I　was　watching　
the　sunlight　and　wind　play　in　her　hair　when　her　body　suddenly　stiffened；　and　her　hand　
froze　on　the　page。　　All　I　saw　was　that　she'd　reached　chapter　three　when　she　roughly　
grabbed　a　thick　section　of　pages　and　shoved　them　over。　
I　caught　a　glance　of　a　title　page；　Mansfield　Park。　　She　was　starting　a　new　story—　
the　book　was　a　compilation　of　novels。　　I　wondered　why　she'd　switched　stories　so　
abruptly。　
Just　a　few　moments　later；　she　slammed　the　book　angrily　shut。　　With　a　fierce　scowl　
on　her　face；　she　pushed　the　book　aside　and　flipped　over　onto　her　back。　　She　took　a　deep　
breath；　as　if　to　calm　herself；　pushed　her　sleeves　up　and　closed　her　eyes。　　I　remembered　the　
novel；　but　I　couldn't　think　of　anything　offensive　in　it　to　upset　her。　　Another　mystery。　　I　
sighed。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
161　

She　lay　very　still；　moving　just　once　to　yank　her　hair　away　from　her　face。　　It　
fanned　out　over　her　head；　a　river　of　chestnut。　　And　then　she　was　motionless　again。　
Her　breathing　slowed。　　After　several　long　minutes　her　lips　began　to　tremble。　
Mumbling　in　her　sleep。　
Impossible　to　resist。　　I　listened　as　far　out　as　I　could；　catching　voices　in　the　houses　
nearby。　
Two　tablespoons　of　flour？one　cup　of　milk？　
C'mon！　　Get　it　through　the　hoop！　　Aw；　c'mon！　
Red；　or　blue？or　maybe　I　should　wear　something　more　casual？　
There　was　no　one　close　by。　　I　jumped　to　the　ground；　landing　silently