5 midnigh+sun-第39部分
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Bella was gnawing on her lip; and the crease between her eyes was etched deep。
〃Don't worry;〃 I reassured her。 〃It's just a theory?〃 And there was a more
important theory to be discussed。 I was anxious to get it over with。 Each passing second
was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time。
〃Which brings us back to you;〃 I said; divided in two; both anxious and reluctant。
She sighed; still chewing her lip—I worried that she would hurt herself。 She
stared into my eyes; her face troubled。
〃Aren't we past all the evasions now?〃 I asked quietly。
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197
She looked down; struggling with some internal dilemma。 Suddenly; she
stiffened and her eyes flew wide open。 Fear flashed across her face for the first time。
〃Holy crow!〃 she gasped。
I panicked。 What had she seen? How had I frightened her?
Then she shouted; 〃Slow down!〃
〃What's wrong?〃 I didn't understand where her terror was coming from。
〃You're going a hundred miles an hour!〃 she yelled at me。 She flashed a look out
the window; and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us。
This little thing; just a bit of speed; had her shouting in fear?
I rolled my eyes。 〃Relax; Bella。〃
〃Are you trying to kill us?〃 she demanded; her voice high and tight。
〃We're not going to crash;〃 I promised her。
She sucked in a sharp breath; and then spoke in a slightly more level tone。 〃Why
are you in such a hurry?〃
〃I always drive like this。〃
I met her gaze; amused by her shocked expression。
〃Keep your eyes on the road!〃 she shouted。
〃I've never been in an accident; Bella。 I've never even gotten a ticket。〃 I grinned
at her and touched my forehead。 It made it even more comical—the absurdity of being
able to joke with her about something so secret and strange。 〃Built in radar detector。〃
〃Very funny;〃 she said sarcastically; her voice more frightened than angry。
〃Charlie's a cop; remember? I was raised to abide by traffic laws。 Besides; if you turn us
into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk; you can probably just walk away。〃
〃Probably;〃 I repeated; and than laughed without humor。 Yes; we would fare
quite differently in a car accident。 She was right to be afraid; despite my driving
abilities? 〃But you can't。〃
With a sigh; I let the car drift to a crawl。 〃Happy?〃
She eyed the speedometer。 〃Almost。〃
Was this still too fast for her? 〃I hate driving slow;〃 I muttered; but let the needle
slide another notch down。
〃This is slow?〃 she asked。
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〃Enough commentary on my driving;〃 I said impatiently。 How many times had
she dodged my question now? Three times? Four? Were her speculations that horrific?
I had to know—immediately。 〃I'm still waiting for your latest theory。〃
She bit her lip again; and her expression became upset; almost pained。
I reigned in my impatience and softened my voice。 I didn't want her to be
distressed。
〃I won't laugh;〃 I promised; wishing that it was only embarrassment that made
her unwilling to talk。
〃I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me;〃 she whispered。
I forced my voice to stay even。 〃Is it that bad?〃
〃Pretty much; yeah。〃
She looked down; refusing to meet my eyes。 The seconds passed。
〃Go ahead;〃 I encouraged。
Her voice was small。 〃I don't know how to start。〃
〃Why don't you start at the beginning?〃 I remembered her words before dinner。
〃You said you didn't come up with this on your own。〃
〃No;〃 she agreed; and then was silent again。
I thought about things that might have inspired her。 〃What got you started—a
book? A movie?〃
I should have looked through her collections when she was out of the house。 I
had no idea if Bram Stoker or Anne Rice was there in her stack of worn paperbacks?
〃No;〃 she said again。 〃It was Saturday; at the beach。〃
I hadn't expected that。 The local gossip about us had never strayed into anything
too bizarre—or too precise。 Was there a new rumor I'd missed? Bella peeked up from
her hands and saw the surprise on my face。
〃I ran into an old family friend—Jacob Black;〃 she went on。 〃His dad and
Charlie have been friends since I was a baby。〃
Jacob Black—the name was not familiar; and yet it reminded me of
something?some time; long ago? I stared out of the windshield; flipping through
memories to find the connection。
〃His dad is one of the Quileute elders;〃 she said。
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Jacob Black。 Ephraim Black。 A descendant; no doubt。
It was as bad as it could get。
She knew the truth。
My mind was flying through the ramifications as the car flew around the dark
curves in the road; my body rigid with anguish—motionless except for the small;
automatic actions it took to steer the car。
She knew the truth。
But?if she'd learned the truth Saturday?then she'd known it all evening
long?and yet?
〃We went for a walk;〃 she went on。 〃And he was telling me about some old
legends—trying to scare me; I think。 He told me one?〃
She stopped short; but there was no need for her qualms now; I knew what she
was going to say。 The only mystery left was why she was here with me now。
〃Go on;〃 I said。
〃About vampires;〃 she breathed; the words less than a whisper。
Somehow; it was even worse than knowing that she knew; hearing her speak the
word aloud。 I flinched at the sound of it; and then controlled myself again。
〃And you immediately thought of me?〃 I asked。
〃No。 He?mentioned your family。〃
How ironic that it would be Ephraim's own progeny that would violate the treaty
he'd vowed to uphold。 A grandson; or great…grandson perhaps。 How many years had it
been? Seventy?
I should have realized that it was not the old men who believed in the legends that
would be the danger。 Of course; the younger generation—those who would have been
warned; but would have thought the ancient superstitions laughable—of course that was
where the danger of exposure would lie。
I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small; defenseless tribe on
the coastline; were I so inclined。 Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead?
〃He just thought it was a silly superstition;〃 Bella said suddenly; her voice edged
with a new anxiety。 〃He didn't expect me to think anything of it。〃
Out of the corner of my eye; I saw her twist her hands uneasily。
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〃It was my fault;〃 she said after a brief pause; and then she hung her head as if she
were ashamed。 〃I forced him to tell me。〃
〃Why?〃 It wasn't so hard to keep my voice level now。 The worst was already
done。 As long as we spoke of the details of the revelation; we didn't have to move on to
the consequences of it。
〃Lauren said something about you—she was trying to provoke me。〃 She made a
little face at the memory。 I was slightly distracted; wondering how Bella would be
provoked by someone talking about me? 〃And an older boy from the tribe said your
family didn't come to the reservation; only it sounded like he meant something different。
So I got Jacob alone and I tricked it out of him。〃
Her head dropped even lower as she admitted this; and her expression
looked?guilty。
I looked away from her and laughed out loud。 She felt guilty? What could she
possibly have done to deserve censure of any kind?
〃Tricked him how?〃 I asked。
〃I tried to flirt—it worked better than I thought it would;〃 she explained; and her
voice turned incredulous at the memory of that success。
I could just imagine—considering the attraction she seemed to have for all things
male; totally unconscious on her part—how overwhelming she would be when she tried
to be attractive。 I was suddenly full of pity for the unsuspecting boy she'd unleashed
such a potent force on。
〃I'd like to have seen that;〃 I said; and then I laughed again with the black humor。
I wished I could have heard the boy's reaction; witnessed the devastation for myself。
〃And you accused me of dazzling people—poor Jacob Black。〃
I wasn't as angry with the source of my exposure as I would have expected to
feel。 He didn't know better。 And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she
wanted? No; I only felt sympathy for the damage she would have done to his peace of
mind。
I felt her blush heat the air between us。 I glanced at her; and she was staring out
her window。 She didn't speak again。
〃What did you do then?〃 I prompted。 Time to get back to the horror story。
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〃I did some research on the internet。〃
Ever practical。 〃And did that convince you?〃
〃No;〃 she said。 〃Nothing fit。 Most of it was kind of silly。 And then—〃
She broke off again; and I heard her teeth lock together。
〃What?〃 I demanded。 What had she found? What had made sense of the
nightmare for her?
There was a short paused; and then she whispered; 〃I decided it didn't matter。〃
Shock froze my thoughts for a half…second; and then it all fit together。 Why she'd
sent her friends away tonight rather than escape with them。 Why she had gotten into my
car with me again instead of running; screaming for the police?
Her reactions were always wrong—always completely wrong。 She pulled danger
toward herself。 She invited it。
〃It didn't matter?〃 I said through my teeth; anger filling me。 How was I supposed
to protect someone so?so?so determined to be unprotected?
〃No;〃 she said in a low voice that was inexplicably tender。 〃It doesn't matter to
me what you are。〃
She was impossible。
〃You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human?〃
〃No。〃
I started to wonder if she was entirely stable。
I supposed that I could arrange for her to receive the best care available? Carlisle
would have the connections to find her the most skilled doctors; the most talented
therapists。 Perhaps something could be done to fix whatever it was that was wrong with
her; what ever it was that made her content to sit beside a vampire with her heart beating
calmly and steadily。 I would watch over the facility; naturally; and visit as often as I was
allowed?
〃You're angry;〃 she sighed。 〃I shouldn't have said anything。〃
As if her hiding these disturbing tendencies would help eith