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couldn't　imagine　anything　that　I　wouldn't　want　her　to　say　to　me。　　And　then—because　the　
tone　of　her　voice　was　the　same　as　last　night；　there　was　suddenly　pain　there　again—I　
remembered。　　Once；　I　had　asked　her　not　to　speak　her　thoughts。　　Never　say　that；　I'd　all　but　
snarled　at　her。　　I　had　made　her　cry？　
Was　this　what　she　kept　from　me？　　The　depth　of　her　feelings　about　me？　　That　my　
being　a　monster　didn't　matter　to　her；　and　that　she　thought　it　was　too　late　for　her　to　change　
her　mind？　
I　was　unable　to　speak；　because　the　joy　and　pain　were　too　strong　for　words；　the　
conflict　between　them　too　wild　to　allow　for　a　coherent　response。　　It　was　silent　in　the　car　
except　for　the　steady　rhythms　of　her　heart　and　lungs。　
〃Where's　the　rest　of　your　family？〃　she　asked　suddenly。　
I　took　a　deep　breath—registering　the　scent　in　the　car　with　true　pain　for　the　first　
time；　I　was　getting　used　to　this；　I　realized　with　satisfaction—and　forced　myself　to　be　
casual　again。　
〃They　took　Rosalie's　car。〃　　I　parked　in　the　open　spot　next　to　the　car　in　question。　　I　
hid　my　smile　as　I　watched　her　eyes　widen。　　〃Ostentatious；　isn't　it？〃　
〃Um；　wow。　　If　she　has　that；　why　does　she　ride　with　you？〃　
Rosalie　would　have　enjoyed　Bella's　reaction？if　she　were　being　objective　about　
Bella；　which　probably　wouldn't　happen。　
〃Like　I　said；　it's　ostentatious。　　We　try　to　blend　in。〃　
〃You　don't　succeed；〃　she　told　me；　and　then　she　laughed　a　carefree　laugh。　
The　blithe；　wholly　untroubled　sound　of　her　laughter　warmed　my　hollow　chest　
even　as　it　made　my　head　swim　with　doubt。　
〃So　why　did　Rosalie　drive　today　if　it's　more　conspicuous？〃　she　wondered。　
〃Hadn't　you　noticed？　　I'm　breaking　all　the　rules　now。〃　
My　answer　should　have　been　mildly　frightening—so；　of　course；　Bella　smiled　at　it。　
She　didn't　wait　for　me　to　open　her　door；　just　like　last　night。　　I　had　to　feign　
normality　here　at　school—so　I　couldn't　move　fast　enough　to　prevent　this—but　she　was　
just　going　to　have　to　get　used　to　being　treated　with　more　courtesy；　and　get　used　to　it　soon。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
223　

I　walked　as　close　to　her　as　I　dared；　watching　carefully　for　any　sign　that　my　
proximity　upset　her。　　Twice　her　hand　twitched　toward　me　and　then　she　would　snatch　it　
back。　　It　looked　like　she　wanted　to　touch　me？　　My　breath　sped。　
〃Why　do　you　have　cars　like　that　at　all？　　If　you're　looking　for　privacy？〃　she　asked　
as　we　walked。　
〃An　indulgence；〃　I　admitted。　　〃We　all　like　to　drive　fast。〃　
〃Figures；〃　she　mumbled；　her　tone　sour。　
She　didn't　look　up　to　see　my　answering　grin。　
Nuh…uh！　　I　don't　believe　this！　　How　the　hell　did　Bella　pull　this　off？　　I　don't　get　it！　
Why？　
Jessica's　mental　boggling　interrupted　my　thoughts。　　She　was　waiting　for　Bella；　
taking　refuge　from　the　rain　under　the　edge　of　the　cafeteria's　roof；　with　Bella's　winter　
jacket　over　her　arm。　　Her　eyes　were　wide　with　disbelief。　
Bella　noticed　her；　too；　in　the　next　moment。　　A　faint　pink　touched　her　cheek　when　
Bella　registered　Jessica's　expression。　　The　thoughts　in　Jessica's　head　were　fairly　clear　on　
her　face。　
〃Hey；　Jessica。　　Thanks　for　remembering；〃　Bella　greeted　her。　　She　reached　out　for　
the　jacket　and　Jessica　handed　it　to　her　wordlessly。　
I　should　be　polite　to　Bella's　friends；　whether　they　were　good　friends　or　not。　
〃Good　morning；　Jessica。〃　
Whoa？　
Jessica's　eyes　popped　even　wider。　　It　was　strange　and　amusing？and；　honestly；　a　
bit　embarrassing？to　realize　how　much　being　near　Bella　had　softened　me。　　It　seemed　like　
no　one　was　afraid　of　me　any　more。　　If　Emmett　found　out　about　this；　he　would　be　laughing　
for　the　next　century。　
〃Er？hi；〃　Jessica　mumbled；　and　her　eyes　flashed　to　Bella's　face；　full　of　
significance。　　〃I　guess　I'll　see　you　in　Trig。〃　
You　are　so　going　to　spill。　　I'm　not　taking　no　for　an　answer。　　Details。　　I　have　to　
have　details！　　　Edward　freaking　CULLEN！！　　Life　is　so　unfair。　
Bella's　mouth　twitched。　　〃Yeah；　I'll　see　you　then。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
224　

Jessica's　thoughts　ran　wild　as　she　hurried　to　her　first　class；　peeking　back　at　us　
now　and　then。　
The　whole　story。　　I'm　not　accepting　anything　less。　　Did　they　plan　to　meet　up　last　
night？　　Are　they　dating？　　How　long？　　How　could　she　keep　this　a　secret？　　Why　would　she　
want　to？　　It　can't　be　a　casual　thing—she　has　to　be　seriously　into　him。　　Is　there　any　other　
option？　　I　will　find　out。　　I　can't　stand　not　knowing。　　I　wonder　if　she's　made　out　with　him？　
Oh；　swoon？　　Jessica's　thoughts　were　suddenly　disjointed；　and　she　let　wordless　fantasies　
swirl　through　her　head。　　I　winced　at　her　speculations；　and　not　just　because　she'd　replaced　
Bella　with　herself　in　the　mental　pictures。　
It　couldn't　be　like　that。　　And　yet　I？I　wanted？　
I　resisted　making　the　admission；　even　to　myself。　　How　many　wrong　ways　would　I　
want　Bella　in？　　Which　one　would　end　up　killing　her？　
I　shook　my　head；　and　tried　to　lighten　up。　
〃What　are　you　going　to　tell　her？〃　I　asked　Bella。　
〃Hey！〃　she　whispered　fiercely。　　〃I　thought　you　couldn't　read　my　mind！〃　
〃I　can't。〃　　I　stared　at　her；　surprised；　trying　to　make　sense　of　her　words。　　Ah—we　
must　have　been　thinking　the　same　thing　at　the　same　time。　　Hmm？I　rather　liked　that。　
〃However；〃　I　told　her；　〃I　can　read　hers—she'll　be　waiting　to　ambush　you　in　class。〃　
Bella　groaned；　and　then　let　the　jacket　slide　off　her　shoulders。　　I　didn't　realize　that　
she　was　giving　it　back　at　first—I　wouldn't　have　asked　for　it；　I　would　rather　she　kept　it？a　
token—so　I　was　too　slow　to　offer　her　my　help。　　She　handed　me　the　jacket；　and　put　her　
arms　through　her　own；　without　looking　up　to　see　that　my　hands　were　extended　to　assist。　　I　
frowned　at　that；　and　then　controlled　my　expression　before　she　noticed　it。　
〃So；　what　are　you　going　to　tell　her？〃　I　pressed。　
〃A　little　help？　　What　does　she　want　to　know？〃　
I　smiled；　and　shook　my　head。　　I　wanted　to　hear　what　she　was　thinking　without　a　
prompt。　〃That's　not　fair。〃　
Her　eyes　tightened。　　〃No；　you　not　sharing　what　you　know—now　that's　unfair。〃　
Right—she　didn't　like　double　standards。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
225　

We　got　to　the　door　of　her　class—where　I　would　have　to　leave　her；　I　wondered　idly　
if　Ms。　Cope　would　be　more　accommodating　about　a　switch　in　the　schedule　of　my　English　
class？　　I　made　myself　focus。　　I　could　be　fair。　
〃She　wants　to　know　if　we're　secretly　dating；〃　I　said　slowly。　　〃And　she　wants　to　
know　how　you　feel　about　me。〃　
Her　eyes　were　wide—not　startled；　but　ingenious　now。　　They　were　open　to　me；　
readable。　　She　was　playing　innocent。　
〃Yikes；〃　she　murmured。　　〃What　should　I　say？〃　
〃Hmmm。〃　　She　always　tried　to　make　me　give　away　more　than　she　did。　　I　pondered　
how　to　respond。　
A　wayward　strand　of　her　hair；　slightly　damp　from　the　fog；　draped　across　her　
shoulder　and　curled　around　where　her　collar　bone　was　hidden　by　the　ridiculous　sweater。　
It　drew　my　eyes？pulled　them　across　the　other　hidden　lines？　
I　reached　for　it　carefully；　not　touching　her　skin—the　morning　was　chill　enough　
without　my　touch—and　twisted　it　back　into　place　in　her　untidy　bun　so　that　it　wouldn't　
distract　me　again。　　I　remembered　when　Mike　Newton　had　touched　her　hair；　and　my　jaw　
flexed　at　the　memory。　　She　had　flinched　away　from　him　then。　　Her　reaction　now　was　
nothing　the　same；　instead；　there　was　a　slight　widening　of　her　eyes；　a　rush　of　blood　under　
her　skin；　and　a　sudden；　uneven　thumping　of　her　heart。　
I　tried　to　hide　my　smile　as　I　answered　her　question。　
〃I　suppose　you　could　say　yes　to　the　first？if　you　don't　mind—；〃　her　choice；　
always　her　choice；　〃—it's　easier　than　any　other　explanation。〃　
〃I　don't　mind；〃　she　whispered。　　Her　heart　had　not　found　its　normal　rhythm　yet。　
〃And　as　for　her　other　question？〃　I　couldn't　hide　my　smile　now。　　〃Well；　I'll　be　
listening　to　hear　the　answer　to　that　one　myself。〃　
Let　Bella　consider　that。　　I　held　back　my　laugh　as　shock　crossed　her　face。　
I　turned　quickly；　before　she　could　ask　for　any　more　answers。　　I　had　a　difficult　time　
not　giving　her　whatever　she　asked　for。　　And　I　wanted　to　hear　her　thoughts；　not　mine。　
〃I'll　see　you　at　lunch；〃　I　called　back　to　her　over　my　shoulder；　an　excuse　to　check　
that　she　was　still　staring　after　me；　wide…eyed。　　Her　mouth　was　hanging　open。　　I　turned　
away　again；　and　laughed。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
226　

As　I　paced　away；　I　was　vaguely　aware　of　the　shocked　and　speculative　thoughts　
that　swirled　around　me—eyes　bouncing　back　and　forth　between　Bella's　face　and　my　
retreating　figure。　　I　paid　them　little　attention。　　I　couldn't　concentrate。　　It　was　hard　enough　
to　keep　my　feet　moving　at　an　acceptable　speed　as　I　crossed　the　soggy　grass　to　my　next　
class。　　I　wanted　to　run—really　run；　so　fast　that　I　would　disappear；　so　fast　that　it　would　
feel　like　I　was　flying。　　Part　of　me　was　flying　already。　
I　put　the　jacket　on　when　I　got　to　class；　letting　her　fragrance　swim　thick　around　me。　
I　would　burn　now—let　the　scent　desensitize　me—and　then　it　would　be　easier　to　ignore　it　
later；　when　I　was　with　her　again　at　lunch？　
It　was　a　good　thing　that　my　teachers　no　longer　bothered　to　call　on　me。　　Today　
might　have　been　the　day　that　they　would　have　caught　me　out；　unprepared　and　answerless。　
My　mind　was　in　so　many　places　this　morning；　only　my　body　was　in　the　classroom。　
Of　course　I　was　watching　Bella。　　That　was　becoming　natural—as　automatic　as　
breathing。　　I　heard　her　conversation　with　a　demoralized　Mike　Newton。　　She　quickly　
directed　the　conversation　to　Jessica；　and　I　grinned　so　wide　that　Rob　Sawyer；　who　sat　at　
the　desk　to　my　right；　flinched　visibly　and　slid　deeper　into　his　seat；　away　from　me。　
Ugh。　　Creepy。　
Well；　I　hadn't　lost　it　entirely。　
I　was　also　monitoring　Jessica　loosely；　watching　her　refine　her　questions　for　Bella。　
I　could　barely　wait　for　fourth　period；　ten　times　as　eager　and　anxious　as　the　curious　human　
girl　who　wanted　fresh　gossip。　
And　I　was　also　listening　to　Angela　Weber。　
I　had　not　forgotten　the　gratitude　I　felt　to　her—for　thinking　nothing　but　kind　things　
toward　Bella　in　the　first　place；　and　then　for　her　help　last　night。　　So　I　waited　through　the　
morning；　looking　for　something　that　she　wanted。　　I　assumed　it　would　be　an　easy；　like　any　
other　human；　there　must　be　some　bauble　or　toy　she　wanted　particularly。　　Several；　
probably。　　I　would　deliver　something　anonymously　and　call　us　even。　
But　Angela　prov