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chuckled　at　the　unlikeliness　of　that。　
〃I'm　not　used　to　rejection；〃　she　grumbled；　her　lower　lip　pushing　out　into　an　
attractive　pout。　
〃Certainly　not；〃　I　agreed；　trying　with　little　success　to　block　out　her　thoughts　as　
she　fleetingly　sifted　through　memories　of　her　thousands　of　successful　conquests。　　Mostly　
Tanya　preferred　human　men—they　were　much　more　populous　for　one　thing；　with　the　
added　advantage　of　being　soft　and　warm。　　And　always　eager；　definitely。　
〃Succubus；〃　I　teased；　hoping　to　interrupt　the　images　flickering　in　her　head。　
She　grinned；　flashing　her　teeth。　　〃The　original。〃　
Unlike　Carlisle；　Tanya　and　her　sisters　had　discovered　their　consciences　slowly。　　In　
the　end；　it　was　their　fondness　for　human　men　that　turned　the　sisters　against　the　slaughter。　
Now　the　men　they　loved？lived。　
〃When　you　showed　up　here；〃　Tanya　said　slowly。　　〃I　thought　that？〃　
I'd　known　what　she'd　thought。　　And　I　should　have　guessed　that　she　would　have　
felt　that　way。　　But　I　hadn't　been　at　my　best　for　analytical　thinking　in　that　moment。　
〃You　thought　that　I'd　changed　my　mind。〃　
〃Yes。〃　　She　scowled。　
〃I　feel　horrible　for　toying　with　your　expectations；　Tanya。　　I　didn't　mean　to—I　
wasn't　thinking。　　It's　just　that　I　left　in？quite　a　hurry。〃　
〃I　don't　suppose　you'd　tell　me　why？？〃　
I　sat　up　and　wrapped　my　arms　around　my　legs；　curling　defensively。　　〃I　don't　want　
to　talk　about　it。〃　
Tanya；　Irina　and　Kate　were　very　good　at　this　life　they'd　committed　to。　　Better；　in　
some　ways；　than　even　Carlisle。　　Despite　the　insanely　close　proximity　they　allowed　
themselves　with　those　who　should　be—and　once　were—their　prey；　they　did　not　make　
mistakes。　　I　was　too　ashamed　to　admit　my　weakness　to　Tanya。　
〃Woman　troubles？〃　she　guessed；　ignoring　my　reluctance。　
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I　laughed　a　bleak　laugh。　　〃Not　the　way　you　mean　it。〃　
She　was　quiet　then。　　I　listened　to　her　thoughts　as　she　ran　through　different　
guesses；　tried　to　decipher　the　meaning　of　my　words。　
〃You're　not　even　close；〃　I　told　her。　
〃One　hint？〃　she　asked。　
〃Please　let　it　go；　Tanya。〃　
She　was　quiet　again；　still　speculating。　　I　ignored　her；　trying　in　vain　to　appreciate　
the　stars。　
She　gave　up　after　a　silent　moment；　and　her　thoughts　pursued　a　new　direction。　
Where　will　you　go；　Edward；　if　you　leave？　　Back　to　Carlisle？　
〃I　don't　think　so；〃　I　whispered。　
Where　would　I　go？　　I　could　not　think　of　one　place　on　the　entire　planet　that　held　
any　interest　for　me。　　There　was　nothing　I　wanted　to　see　or　do。　　Because；　no　matter　where　I　
went；　I　would　not　be　going　to　anywhere—I　would　only　be　running　from。　
I　hated　that。　　When　had　I　become　such　a　coward？　
Tanya　threw　her　slender　arm　around　my　shoulders。　　I　stiffened；　but　did　not　flinch　
out　from　under　her　touch。　　She　meant　it　as　nothing　more　than　friendly　comfort。　　Mostly。　
〃I　think　that　you　will　go　back；〃　she　said；　her　voice　taking　on　just　a　hint　of　her　long　
lost　Russian　accent。　　〃No　matter　what　it　is？or　who　it　is。。。that　is　haunting　you。　　You'll　
face　it　head　on。　　You're　the　type。〃　
Her　thoughts　were　as　certain　as　her　words。　　I　tried　to　embrace　the　vision　of　myself　
that　she　carried　in　her　head。　　The　one　who　faced　things　head　on。　　It　was　pleasant　to　think　
of　myself　that　way　again。　　I'd　never　doubted　my　courage；　my　ability　to　face　difficulty；　
before　that　horrible　hour　in　a　high　school　biology　class　such　a　short　time　ago。　
I　kissed　her　cheek；　pulling　back　swiftly　when　she　twisted　her　face　toward　mine；　
her　lips　already　puckered。　　She　smiled　ruefully　at　my　quickness。　
〃Thank　you；　Tanya。　　I　needed　to　hear　that。〃　
Her　thoughts　turned　petulant。　　〃You're　welcome；　I　guess。　　I　wish　you　would　be　
more　reasonable　about　things；　Edward。〃　
〃I'm　sorry；　Tanya。　　You　know　you're　too　good　for　me。　　I　just？haven't　found　
what　I'm　looking　for　yet。〃　
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〃Well；　if　you　leave　before　I　see　you　again？goodbye；　Edward。〃　
〃Goodbye；　Tanya。〃　　As　I　said　the　words；　I　could　see　it。　　I　could　see　myself　
leaving。　　Being　strong　enough　to　go　back　to　the　one　place　where　I　wanted　to　be。　　〃Thanks　
again。〃　
She　was　on　her　feet　in　one　nimble　move；　and　then　she　was　running　away；　
ghosting　across　the　snow　so　quickly　that　her　feet　had　no　time　to　sink　into　the　snow；　she　
left　no　prints　behind　her。　　She　didn't　look　back。　　My　rejection　bothered　her　more　than　
she'd　let　on　before；　even　in　her　thoughts。　　She　wouldn't　want　to　see　me　again　before　I　
left。　
My　mouth　twisted　with　chagrin。　　I　didn't　like　hurting　Tanya；　though　her　feelings　
were　not　deep；　hardly　pure；　and；　in　any　case；　not　something　I　could　return。　　It　still　made　
me　feel　less　than　a　gentleman。　
I　put　my　chin　on　my　knees　and　stared　up　at　the　stars　again；　though　I　was　suddenly　
anxious　to　be　on　my　way。　　I　knew　that　Alice　would　see　me　coming　home；　that　she　would　
tell　the　others。　　This　would　make　them　happy—Carlisle　and　Esme　especially。　　But　I　gazed　
at　the　stars　for　one　more　moment；　trying　to　see　past　the　face　in　my　head。　　Between　me　
and　the　brilliant　lights　in　the　sky；　a　pair　of　bewildered　chocolate…brown　eyes　stared　back　
at　me；　seeming　to　ask　what　this　decision　would　mean　for　her。　　Of　course；　I　couldn't　be　
sure　if　that　was　really　the　information　her　curious　eyes　sought。　　Even　in　my　imagination；　I　
couldn't　hear　her　thoughts。　　Bella　Swan's　eyes　continued　to　question；　and　an　
unobstructed　view　of　the　stars　continued　to　elude　me。　　With　a　heavy　sigh；　I　gave　up；　and　
got　to　my　feet。　　If　I　ran；　I　would　be　back　to　Carlisle's　car　in　less　than　an　hour？　
In　a　hurry　to　see　my　family—and　wanting　very　much　to　be　the　Edward　that　faced　
things　head　on—I　raced　across　the　starlit　snowfield；　leaving　no　footprints。　
〃It's　going　to　be　okay；〃　Alice　breathed。　　Her　eyes　were　unfocused；　and　Jasper　had　one　
hand　lightly　under　her　elbow；　guiding　her　forward　as　we　walked　into　the　rundown　
cafeteria　in　a　close　group。　　Rosalie　and　Emmett　led　the　way；　Emmett　looking　ridiculously　
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like　a　bodyguard　in　the　middle　of　hostile　territory。　　Rose　looked　wary；　too；　but　much　
more　irritated　than　protective。　
〃Of　course　it　is；〃　I　grumbled。　　Their　behavior　was　ludicrous。　　If　I　wasn't　positive　
that　I　could　handle　this　moment；　I　would　have　stayed　home。　
The　sudden　shift　from　our　normal；　even　playful　morning—it　had　snowed　in　the　
night；　and　Emmett　and　Jasper　were　not　above　taking　advantage　of　my　distraction　to　
bombard　me　with　slushballs；　when　they　got　bored　with　my　lack　of　response；　they'd　
turned　on　each　other—to　this　overdone　vigilance　would　have　been　comical　if　it　weren't　
so　irritating。　
〃She's　not　here　yet；　but　the　way　she's　going　to　come　in？she　won't　be　downwind　
if　we　sit　in　our　regular　spot。〃　
〃Of　course　we'll　sit　in　our　regular　spot。　　Stop　it；　Alice。　　You're　getting　on　my　
nerves。　　I'll　be　absolutely　fine。〃　
She　blinked　once　as　Jasper　helped　her　into　her　seat；　and　her　eyes　finally　focused　
on　my　face。　
〃Hmm；〃　she　said；　sounding　surprised。　　〃I　think　you're　right。〃　
〃Of　course　I　am；〃　I　muttered。　
I　hated　being　the　focus　of　their　concern。　　I　felt　a　sudden　sympathy　for　Jasper；　
remembering　all　the　times　we'd　hovered　protectively　over　him。　　He　met　my　glance　
briefly；　and　grinned。　
Annoying；　isn't　it？　
I　grimaced　at　him。　
Was　it　just　last　week　that　this　long；　drab　room　had　seemed　so　killingly　dull　to　me？　
That　it　had　seemed　almost　like　sleep；　like　a　coma；　to　be　here？　
Today　my　nerves　were　stretched　tight—piano　wires；　tensed　to　sing　at　the　lightest　
pressure。　　My　senses　were　hyper…alert；　I　scanned　every　sound；　every　sight；　every　
movement　of　the　air　that　touched　my　skin；　every　thought。　　Especially　the　thoughts。　　There　
was　only　one　sense　that　I　kept　locked　down；　refused　to　use。　　Smell；　of　course。　　I　didn't　
breathe。　
I　was　expecting　to　hear　more　about　the　Cullens　in　the　thoughts　that　I　sifted　
through。　　All　day　I'd　been　waiting；　searching　for　whichever　new　acquaintance　Bella　
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Swan　might　have　confided　in；　trying　to　see　the　direction　the　new　gossip　would　take。　　But　
there　was　nothing。　　No　one　noticed　the　five　vampires　in　the　cafeteria；　just　the　same　as　
before　the　new　girl　had　come。　　Several　of　the　humans　here　were　still　thinking　of　that　girl；　
still　thinking　the　same　thoughts　from　last　week。　　Instead　of　finding　this　unutterably　
boring；　I　was　now　fascinated。　
Had　she　said　nothing　to　anyone　about　me？　
There　was　no　way　that　she　had　not　noticed　my　black；　murderous　glare。　　I　had　seen　
her　react　to　it。　　Surely；　I'd　scared　her　silly。　　I　had　been　convinced　that　she　would　have　
mentioned　it　to　someone；　maybe　even　exaggerated　the　story　a　bit　to　make　it　better。　　Given　
me　a　few　menacing　lines。　
And　then；　she'd　also　heard　me　trying　to　get　out　of　our　shared　biology　class。　　　She　
must　have　wondered；　after　seeing　my　expression；　whether　she　were　the　cause。　　A　normal　
girl　would　have　asked　around；　compared　her　experience　to　others；　looked　for　common　
ground　that　would　explain　my　behavior　so　she　didn't　feel　singled　out。　　Humans　were　
constantly　desperate　to　feel　normal；　to　fit　in。　　To　blend　in　with　everyone　else　around　
them；　like　a　featureless　flock　of　sheep。　　The　need　was　particularly　strong　during　the　
insecure　adolescent　years。　　This　girl　would　be　no　exception　to　that　rule。　
But　no　one　at　all　took　any　notice　of　us　sitting　here；　at　our　normal　table。　　Bella　
must　be　exceptionally　shy；　if　she'd　confided　in　no　one。　　Perhaps　she　had　spoken　to　her　
father；　maybe　that　was　the　strongest　relationship？though　that　seemed　unlikely；　given　the　
fact　that　she　had　spent　so　little　time　with　him　throughout　her　life。　　She　would　be　closer　to　
her　mother。　　Still；　I　would　have　to　pass　by　Chief　Swan　sometime　soon　and　listen　to　what　
he　was　thinking。　
〃Anything　new？〃　Jasper　asked。　
〃Nothing。　　She？must　not　have　said　anything。〃　
All　of　them　raised　an　eyebrow　at　this　news。　
〃Maybe　you're　not　as　scary　as　you　think　you　are；〃　Emmett　said；　chuckling。　　〃I　bet　
I　could　have　frightened　her　better　than　that。〃　
I　rolled　my　eyes　at　him。　
〃Wonder　why？？〃　　He　puzzled　again　over　my　revelation　about　the　girl's　unique　
silence。　
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〃We've　been　over　that。　　I　don't　know。〃　
〃She's　coming　in；〃　Alice　murmured　then。　　I　felt　my　body　go　rigid。　　〃Try　to　look　
human。〃　
〃Human；　you　sa