the captives-第29部分

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new　it　as　well　as　though　she　had　told　himto　trust　him　absolutely；　and　he　knew　well　enough　how　little　he　was　to　be　trusted。　And　because　of　that　faith　and　because　of　that　trust　he　felt　that　she　was　more　reliable　than　he　could　have　believed　that　changing　fickle　human　being　would　ever　be。　How　secure　he　might　feel　with　her！

Then；　as　he　thought　that；　he　realised　how　troubled　he　was　about　his　life　at　home　during　the　last　weeks。　Amy　hated　him；　his　mother　hid　herself　from　him；　and　his　father's　love　frightened　him。　Already　he　had　found　himself　telling　lies　to　avoid　the　chapel　services　and　the　meetings　with　Thurston　and　the　rest。　His　father's　love　for　him　had　something　terrible　in　it；　and；　although　he　returned　it；　he　could　not　live　up　to　that　fire　and　heat。

No；　he　saw　that　he　would　not　be　able　to　remain　for　long　at　home。　On　the　other　hand；　go　back　to　the　old　wandering　life　he　would　not。　He　had　had　enough　of　that　and　its　rotten　carelessness　and　shabbiness。　What　a　girl　this　would　be　to　settle　down　with　somewhere！　So　strange　that　she　would　be　always　interesting；　so　faithful　that　she　would　be　always　there！　Nor　was　he　entirely　selfish。　Her　childishness；　her　ignorance；　appealed　to　him　for　protection。　She　had　no　one　but　those　old　aunts　to　care　for　her；　she　was　poor　and　rebellious　and　ignorant。　Warlock　was　kind…hearted　beyond　the　normal　charity　of　manmuch　of　his　weakness　came　from　that　very　kindness。

As　he　saw　which　way　he　was　going　he　tried　to　pull　himself　back。　He　could　not　protect　herhe　had　the　best　of　reasons　for　knowing　why。　He　could　do　her　nothing　but　harm　。　。　。　and　yet　he　went　on。

He　took　a　chair　close　to　her　and　sat　down。　He；　who　had　known　in　his　time　many　women；　could　see　how　happy　she　was。　That　happiness　excited　him。　Suddenly　he　held　her　hand。　She　did　not　remove　it。

〃Look　here；〃　he　began；　and　he　was　surprised　at　the　hoarseness　of　his　voice；　〃your　uncle　will　be　back　in　a　moment；　and　we　never　have　a　chance　of　being　alone。　I've　wanted　to　talk　to　you　ever　since　I　first　saw　you。〃

He　felt　her　hand　move　in　his。　That　stir　was　so　helpless　that　he　suddenly　determined　to　be　honest。

〃I　think　you'll　trust　me；　won't　you？〃　he　asked。

〃Yes；〃　she　said。

〃Well；　you　mustn't；〃　he　went　on　hurriedly；　his　eyes　on　the　door。　〃I'm　not　worse；　I　suppose；　than　other　men；　but　all　the　same　I'm　not　to　be　trusted。　And　when　I　say　I'm　not　to　be　trusted　I　mean　that　I　myself　don't　know　whether　I'll　keep　my　word　from　one　minute　to　another。　I'm　sure　you　don't　know　very　much　about　men。　I　could　see　it　at　once　from　the　way　you　spoke。〃

She　looked　up；　her　clear；　unconfused；　unquestioning　eyes　facing　him。

〃I　knew　my　father　well；〃　she　said。　〃We　were　quite　alone　for　years　together。　And　then　Uncle　Mathew〃

〃Oh；　your　father；　your　uncle；〃　he　answered　quickly。　〃They　don't　count。　What　I　mean　is　that　you　mustn't　think　men　are　scoundrels　just　because　they　act　badly。　I　swear　that　nine　out　of　ten　of　them　never　mean　to　do　any　harm。〃

〃And　they　think　they're　speaking　the　truth　at　the　time。　But　anything　'does'　for　them　and　then　they're　in　a　mess；　and　all　they　think　about　is　how　to　get　out　of　it。　Then　it's　every　man　for　himself　。　。　。〃

Maggie　shook　her　head。

〃I've　always　known　that　I'd　have　to　manage　for　myself；〃　she　said。　〃I've　never　expected　any　one　to　do　anything　for　me；　so　I'm　not　likely　to　be　disappointed　now。〃

He　moved　a　little　closer　to　her　and　held　her　hand　more　firmly；　even　as　he　did　so　something　in　his　heart　reproached　him；　but　now　the　reproach　was　very　far　away；　like　an　echo　of　some　earlier　voice。

〃Do　you　know　you're　a　wonderful　girl？〃　he　said。　〃I　knew　you　were　from　the　first　moment　I　saw　you。　You're　the　most　independent　person　I've　ever　known。　You　can't　guess　how　I　admire　that！　And　all　the　same　you're　not　happy；　are　you？　You　want　to　get　out　of　it；　don't　you？〃

She　thought　for　a　little　while　before　she　nodded　her　head。

〃I　suppose　as　a　fact。〃　she　said；　〃I　do。　If　you　want　to　knowand　you　mustn't　tell　anybodyI've　posted　a　letter　to　a　lady　whom　I　met　once　who　told　me　if　ever　I　wanted　anything　to　write　to　her。　I've　asked　her　for　some　work。　I've　got　three　hundred　pounds　of　my　own。　It　isn't　very　much；　I　know；　but　I　could　start　on　it　。　。　。　I　don't　want　to　do　wrong　to　my　aunts；　who　are　very　kind　to　me；　but　I'm　not　happy　there。　It　wouldn't　be　true　to　say　I'm　happy。　You　see；〃　she　dropped　her　voice　a　little；　〃they　want　to　make　me　religious；　and　I've　had　so　much　of　that　with　father　already。　I　feel　as　though　they　were　pressing　me　into　it　somehow；　and　that　I　should　wake　up　one　morning　and　find　I　should　never　escape　again。　There's　so　much　goes　on　that　I　don't　understand。　And　it　isn't　only　the　chapel。　Aunt　Anne's　very　quiet；　but　she　makes　you　feel　quite　helpless　sometimes。　And　perhaps　one　will　get　more　and　more　helpless　the　longer　one　stays。　I　don't　want　to　be　helpless　evernor　religious！〃　she　ended。

〃Why；　that's　just　my　position；〃　he　continued　eagerly。　〃I　came　home　as　happily　as　anything。　I'd　almost　forgotten　all　that　had　been　when　I　was　a　boy；　how　I　was　baptized　and　thought　I　belonged　to　God　and　was　so　proud　and　stuck　up。　That　all　seems　nonsense　when　you're　roughing　it　with　other　men　who　think　about　nothing　but　the　day's　work。　Then　I　came　home　meaning　to　settle　down。　I　wanted　to　see　my　governor　too。　I've　always　cared　for　him　more　than　any　one　else　in　the　world　。　。　。　but　I　tell　you　now　I　simply　don't　know　what's　going　on　at　home。　They　want　to　catch　me　in　a　trap。　That's　what　it　feels　like。　To　make　me　what　I　was　as　a　kid。　It's　strange；　but　there's　more　in　it　than　you'd　think。　You　wouldn't　believe　the　number　of　times　I've　thought　of　my　young　days　since　I've　been　home。　It's　as　though　some　one　was　always　shoving　them　up　in　front　of　my　face。　All　I　want；　you　know；　is　to　be　jolly。　To　let　other　people　alone　and　be　let　alone　myself。　I　wouldn't　do　any　one　any　harm　in　the　worldI　wouldn't　really。　But　it's　as　though　father　wanted　me　to　believe　all　the　things　he　believes；　so　that　he　could　believe　them　more　himself。　Perhaps　it's　the　same　with　your　aunt　。　。　。〃　Then　he　added；　〃But　they're　sick　people。　That　explains　a　lot。〃

〃Sick？〃　asked　Maggie。

〃Yes。　My　governor's　got　heartawfully　bad。　He　might　go　off　at　any　moment　if　he　had　a　shock。　And　your　auntdon't　you　know？〃

〃No；〃　said　Maggie。

〃Cancer。　They　all　say　so。　I　thought　you'd　have　known。〃

〃Oh！〃　Maggie　drew　in　her　breath。　She　shuddered。　〃Poor　Aunt　Anne！　Oh；　poor　Aunt　Anne！　I　didn't　know。〃

She　felt　a　sudden　rush　of　confused　emotion。　A　love　for　her　aunt；　desire　to　help　her；　and　at　the　same　time　shrinking　as　though　she　saw　the　whole　house　which　had　been；　from　the　first；　unhappy　to　her　was　now　diseased　and　evil　and　rotten。　The　hot　life　in　her　body　told　her　against　her　moral　will　that　she　must　escape；　and　her　soul；　moving　in　her　and　speaking　to　her；　told　her　that　now；　more　than　ever；　she　must　stay。

〃Oh；　poor；　poor　Aunt　Anne；〃　she　said　again。

He　moved　and　put　his　arm　around　her。　He　had　meant　it　simply　as　a　movement　of　sympathy　and　protection；　but　when　he　felt　the　warmth　of　her　body　against　his；　when　he　realised　how　she　went　to　him　at　once　with　the　confidence　and　simplicity　of　a　child；　when　he　felt　the　hot　irregular　beat　of　her　heart；　his　own　heart　leapt；　his　arm　was　strengthened　like　a　barrier　of　iron　against　the　world。

He　had　one　moment　of　desperate　resistance；　a　voice　of　protest　calling　to　him　far；　far　away。　His　hand　touched　her　neck；　he　raised　her　face　to　his　and　kissed　her；　once　gently；　kindly；　then；　passionately　again　and　again。

She　shivered　a　little；　as　though　surrendering　something　to　him；　then　lay　quite　still　in　his　arms。

〃Maggie！　Maggie！〃　he　whispered。

Then　she　raised　her　head　and　herself　kissed　him。

There　was　a　noise　on　the　door。　They　separated；　the　door　opened　and　in　the　sudden　light　a　figure　was　visible　holding　a　glass。

For　a　blind　instant　Maggie；　returning　from　her　other　world；　thought　it　the　figure　of　Mr。　Palmer　of　Rugeley。

It　was；　of　course；　Uncle　Mathew。




CHAPTER　IV

MR。　CRASHAW


Uncle　Mathew　saw　Maggie　back　to　her　door；　kissed　her　and　left　her。　On　their　way　home　he　did　not　once　mention　Martin　Warlock　to　her。

He　left　her　as　he　heard　the　bolt　turn　in　the　door；　hurrying　away　as　though　he　did　not　want　to　be　seen。　Maggie　went　in　to　find　old　Martha　with　her　crabbed　face　watching　her　sourly。　But　she　did　not　care；　nothing　could　touch　her　now。　Even　the　old　woman；　cross　with　waiting　by　the　fading　kitchen　fire；　noticed　the　light　in　the　girl's　eyes。　She　had　always　thought　the　girl　hard　and　ungracious；　but　now　that　face　was　soft；　and　the　mouth　smiling　over　its　secret　thoughts；　and　the　eyes　sleepy　with　happiness。

Maggie　could　have　said：　〃I'm　wild　with　joy；　Martha。　I　know　what　love　is。　I　had　never　thought　that　it　could　be　like　this。　Be　kind　to　me　because　it's　the　greatest　night　of　my　life。〃

Martha　said：　〃There's　some　milk　hotted　for　you；　Miss；　and　some　biscuits。　There　on　the　table　by　the　stairs。〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　want　anything；　Martha；　thank　you！〃

〃Your　aunt　said　you　was　to　have　it。〃

Maggie　drank　it　down；　Martha　watching　her。　Then　she　went　upstairs　softly；　as　though　her　joy　might　awaken　the　whole　house。　She　lay　wide…eyed　on　her　bed　for　hours；　then　fell　into　a　heavy　sleep；　deep；　without　dreams。

When；　in　the　quieter　light　of　the　morning；　she　considered　the　event；　she　had　no　doubts　nor　hesitations。　She　loved　Martin　and　Martin　loved　her。　Soon　Martin　would　marry　her　and　they　would　go　away。　Her　aunt　would　be　sorry　of　course；　and　his　father；　perhaps；　would　be　angry；　but　the　sorrow　and　anger　would　be　only　for　a　little　while。　Then　Martin　and　she　would　live　happily　together　alwayshappily　because　they　were　both　sensible　people；　and　her　own　standard　of　fidelity　and　trust　was；　she　supposed；　also　his。　She　did　not　think　very　deeply　about　what　he　had　said　to　her；　it　only　meant　that　he　wanted　to　escape　from　his　family；　a　desire　in　which　she　could　completely　sympathise。　She　had　loved　him；　as　she　now　saw；　from　the　first　moment　of　meeting；　and　she　would　love　him　always。　She　would　never　be　alone　again；　and　although　Martin　had　told　her　that　he　was　weak；　and　she　knew　something　about　men；　she　was　aware　that　their　love　for　one　another　would　be　a　thing　apart；　constant；　unfaltering；　eternal。　She　had　read　no　modern　fiction；　she　knew　nothing　about　psychology：　she　was　absolutely　happy　。　。　。