the captives-第70部分

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　one　who　might　return。　Did　that　once　begin　all　this　present　life　would　be　impossibleand　she　meant　to　make　this　new　existence　not　only　possible　but　successful。　Therefore　she　was　building；　so　hard　as　she　could；　this　new　house；　the　walls　were　rising；　the　rooms　were　prepared；　every　window　was　barred；　the　doors　were　locked；　no　one　from　outside　should　enter；　and　everything　that　belonged　to　itPaul；　Grace；　the　Church；　these　women；　Skeaton　itself；　her　household　duties；　the　servants；　everything　and　every　one　was　pressed　into　service。　She　must　have　so　much　to　do　that　she　could　not　think；　she　must　like　every　one　else　so　much　that　she　could　not　want　any　one　elsethat　other　world　must　be　kept　out；　no　sound　nor　sight　of　it　must　enter　。　。　。　If　even　she　could　forget　Martin。　What　had　he　said　to　her。　〃Promise　me　whatever　I　am；　whatever　I　do；　you　will　love　me　always〃and　she　had　promised。　Here　she　was　married　to　Paul　and　loving　Martin　more　than　ever！　As　she　looked　at　Mrs。　Constantine　she　wondered　what　she　would　say　did　she　know　that。　Nevertheless；　she　had　not　deceived　Paul　。　。　。　She　had　told　him。　She　would　make　this　right。　She　would　force　this　life　to　give　her　what　she　needed；　work　and　friends　and　a　place　in　the　world。　Her　face　a　little　white　with　her　struggle　to　keep　her　house　standing；　she　turned　to　her　guests。　She　was　afraid　that　she　did　not　play　the　hostess　very　well。　She　felt　as　though　she　were　play…acting。　She　repeated　phrases　that　she　had　heard　Katherine　Mark　use；　and　laughed　at　herself　for　doing　so。　She　suspected　that　they　thought　her　very　odd；　and　she　fancied　that　Mrs。　Constantine　looked　at　her　short　hair　with　grave　suspicion。

Afterwards；　when　she　told　Paul　this；　he　was　rather　uncomfortable。

〃It'll　soon　be　long　again；　dear；　won't　it？〃　he　said。

〃Don't　you　like　it　short　then？〃　she　asked。

〃Of　course　I　like　it；　but　there's　no　reason　to　be　unusual；　is　there？　We　don't　want　to　seem　different　from　other　people；　do　we；　darling？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Maggie。　〃We　want　to　be　ourselves。　I　don't　think　I　shall　ever　grow　my　hair　long　again。　It's　so　much　more　comfortable　like　this。〃

〃If　I　ask　you；　dear；〃　said　Paul。

〃No；　not　even　if　you　ask　me；〃　she　answered；　laughing。

She　noticed　then；　for　the　first　time；　that　he　could　look　sulky　like　a　small　school…boy。

〃Why；　Paul；〃　she　said。　〃If　you　wanted　to　grow　a　beard　I　shouldn't　like　it；　but　I　shouldn't　dream　of　stopping　you。〃

〃That's　quite　different；〃　he　answered。　〃I　should　never　dream　of　growing　a　beard。　Grace　won't　like　it　if　you　look　odd。〃

〃Grace　isn't　my　teacher；〃　said　Maggie　with　a　sudden　hot　hostility　that　surprised　herself。

She　discovered；　by　the　way；　very　quickly　that　the　three　ladies　had　no　very　warm　feelings　for　Grace。　They　showed　undisguised　pleasure　at　the　thought　that　Maggie　would　now　be　on　various　Committees　instead　of　her　sister…in…law。

〃It　will　be　your　place；　of　course；　as　wife　of　the　vicar；〃　said　Mrs。　Constantine。　〃Hitherto　Miss　Trenchard〃

〃Oh；　but　I　couldn't　be　on　a　Committee；〃　cried　Maggie。　〃I've　never　been　on　one　in　my　life。　I　should　never　know　what　to　do。〃

〃Never　been　on　a　Committee！〃　cried　Miss　Purves；　quivering　with　interest。　〃Why；　Mrs。　Trenchard；　where　have　you　been　all　this　time？〃

〃I'm　only　twenty；〃　said　Maggie。　They　certainly　thought　it　strange　of　her　to　confess　to　her　age　like　that。　〃At　home　father　never　had　any　Committees；　he　did　it　all　himself；　or　rather　didn't　do　it。〃

Mrs。　Constantine　shook　her　head。　〃We　must　all　help　you；〃　she　said。　〃You're　very　young；　my　dear；　for　the　responsibilities　of　this　parish。〃

〃Yes；　I　am；〃　said　Maggie　frankly。　〃And　I'll　be　very　glad　of　anything　you　can　tell　me。　But　you　mustn't　let　me　be　Treasurer　or　Secretary　of　anything。　I　should　never　answer　any　of　the　letters；　and　I　should　probably　spend　all　the　money　myself。〃

〃My　dear；　you　shouldn't　say　such　things　even　as　a　joke；〃　said　Mrs。　Constantine。

〃But　it　isn't　a　joke；〃　said　Maggie。　〃I'm　terribly　muddleheaded；　and　I've　no　idea　of　money　at　all。　Paul's　going　to　teach　me。〃

Paul　smiled　nervously。

〃Maggie　will　soon　fit　into　our　ways；〃　he　said。

〃I'm　sure　she　will。〃　said　Mrs。　Constantine　very　kindly；　but　as　though　she　were　speaking　to　a　child　of　ten。

The　bell　rang　and　Mr。　Flaunders　the　curate　came　in。　He　was　very　young；　very　earnest；　and　very　enthusiastic。　He　adored　Paul。　He　told　Maggie　that　he　thought　that　he　was　the　very　luckiest　man。　in　the　world　for　having；　so　early　in　his　career；　so　wonderful　a　man　as　Paul　to　work　under。　He　had　also　adored　Grace；　but　very　quickly　showed　signs　of　transferring　that　adoration　to　Maggie。

〃Miss　Trenchard's　splendid；〃　he　said。　〃I　do　admire　her　so；　but　you'll　be　a　great　help　to　us　all。　I'm　so　glad　you've　come。〃

〃Why；　how　do　you　know？〃　asked　Maggie。　〃You've　only　seen　me　for　about　two　minutes。〃

〃Ah；　one　can　tell；〃　said　Mr。　Flaunders；　sighing。

Maggie　liked　his　enthusiasm；　but　she　couldn't　help　wishing　that　his　knees　wouldn't　crack　at　unexpected　moments；　that　he　wasn't　quite　so　long　and　thin；　and　that　he　wouldn't　leave　dried　shaving…soap　under　his　ears　and　in　his　nostrils。　She　was　puzzled；　too；　that　Paul　should　be　so　obviously　pleased　with　the　rather　naif　adoration。　〃Paul　likes　you　to　praise　him；〃　she　thought　a　little　regretfully。

So；　for　the　moment；　these　people；　the　house　and　the　Church；　fitted　in　her　World。　For　the　rest　of　the　fortnight　she　was　so　busy　that　she　never　went　on　to　the　beach　nor　into　the　woods。　She　shopped　every　morning；　feeling　very　old　and　grown…up；　she　went　to　tea　with　Mrs。　Constantine　and　Mrs。　Maxse；　and　she　sat　on　Paul's　knee　whenever　she　thought　that　he　would　like　her　to。　She　sat　on　Paul's　knee；　but　that　did　not　mean　that；　in　real　intimacy；　they　approached　any　nearer　to　one　another。　During　those　days　they　stared　at　one　another　like　children　on　different　sides　of　a　fence。　They　were　definitely　postponing　settlement；　and　with　every　day　Maggie　grew　more　restless　and　uneasy。　She　wanted　back　that　old　friendly　comradeship　that　there　had　been　before　their　marriage。　He　seemed　now　to　have　lost　altogether　that　attitude　to　her。　Then　on　the　very　day　of　Grace's　return　the　storm　broke。　It　was　tea…time　and　they　were　having　it；　as　usual；　in　his　dusty　study。　They　were　sitting　someway　apartPaul　in　the　old　leather　armchair　by　the　fire；　his　thick　body　stretched　out；　his　cheerful　good…humoured　face　puckered　and　peevish。

Maggie　stood　up；　looking　at　him。

〃Paul；　what's　the　matter？〃　she　asked。

〃Matter；〃　he　repeated。　〃Nothing。〃

〃Oh　yes；　there　is　。　。　。　You're　cross　with　me。〃

〃No；　I'm　not。　What　an　absurd　idea！〃　He　moved　restlessly；　turning　half　away；　not　looking　at　her。　She　came　close　up　to　him。

〃Look　here；　Paul。　There　is　something　the　matter。　We　haven't　been　married　a　fortnight　yet　and　you're　unhappy。　Whatever　else　we　married　for　we　married　because　we　were　going　to　be　friends。　So　you've　just　got　to　tell　me　what　the　trouble　is。〃

〃I've　got　my　sermon　to　prepare；〃　he　said；　not　looking　at　her；　but　half　rising　in　his　chair。　〃You'd　better　go；　darling。〃

〃I'm　not　going　to；〃　she　answered；　〃until　you've　told　me　why　you're　worrying。〃

He　got　up　slowly　and　seemed　then　as　though　he　were　going　to　pass　her。　Suddenly　he　turned；　flung　his　arms　round　her；　catching　her；　crushing　her　in　his　arms；　kissing　her　wildly。

〃Love　。　。　。　love　me　。　。　。　love　me；〃　he　whispered。　〃That's　what's　the　matter。　I　didn't　know　myself　before　I　married　you；　Maggie。　All　these　years　I've　lived　like　a　fish　and　I　didn't　know　it。　But　I　know　it　now。　And　you've　got　to　love　me。　You're　my　wife　and　you've　got　to　love　me。〃

She　would　have　given　everything　that　she　had　then　to　respond。　She　felt　an　infinite　tenderness　and　pity　for　him。　But　she　could　not。　He　felt　that　she　could　not。　He　let　her　go　and　turned　away　from　her。　She　thought　for　a　moment　wondering　what　she　ought　to　say；　and　then　she　came　up　to　him　and　gently　put　her　hand　on　his　shoulder。

〃Be　patient；　Paul；〃　she　said。　〃You　know　we　agreed　before　we　married　that　we'd　be　friends　at　any　rate　and　let　the　rest　come。　Wait　。　。　。〃

〃Wait！〃　he　turned　round　eagerly；　clutching　her　arm。　〃Then　there　is　a　chance；　Maggie？　You　can　get　to　love　meyou　can　forget　that　other　man？〃

She　drew　back。　〃No；　you　know　I　told　you　that　I　should　never　do　that。　But　he'll　never　come　back　nor　want　me　again　and　I'm　very　fond　of　you；　Paulfonder　than　I　thought。　Don't　spoil　it　all　now　by　going　too　fast〃

〃Going　too　fast！〃　he　laughed。　〃Why；　I　haven't　gone　any　way　at　all。　I　haven't　got　you　anywhere。　I　can　hardly　touch　you。　You're　away　from　me　all　the　time。　You're　strangedifferent　from　every　one　。　。　。〃

〃I　don't　know　anything　about　women。　I've　learnt　a　lot　about　myself　this　week。　It　isn't　going　to　be　as　easy　as　I　thought。〃

She　went　up　to　him；　close　to　him；　and　said　almost　desperately：　〃We　MUST　make　this　all　right；　Paul。　We　can　if　we　try。　I　know　we　can。〃

He　kissed　her　gently　with　his　old　kindness。　〃What　a　baby　you　are。　You　didn't　know　what　you　were　in　for　。　。　。　Oh；　we'll　make　it　all　right。〃

They　sat　close　together　then　and　drank　their　tea。　After　all；　Grace　would　be　here　in　an　hour！　They　both　felt　a　kind　of　relief　that　they　would　no　longer　be　alone。

Grace　would　be　here　in　an　hour！　Strange　how　throughout　all　these　last　days　Maggie　had　been　looking　forward　to　that　event　with　dread。　There　was　no　definite　reason　for　fear；　in　London　Grace　had　been　kindness　itself　and　had　shown　real　affection　for　Maggie。　Within　the　last　week　she　had　written　two　very　affectionate　letters。　What　was　this；　then；　that　hung　and　hovered？　It　was　in　the　very　air　of　the　house　and　the　garden　and　the　place。　Grace　had　left　her　mark　upon　everything　and　every　one；　even　upon　the　meagre　person　of　Mitch　the　dog。　Especially　upon　Mitch；　a　miserable　creeping　fox…terrier　with　no　spirits　and　a　tendency　to　tremble　all　over　when　you　called　him。　He　had　attached　himself　to　Maggie；　which　was　strange；　because　animals　were　not；　as　a　rule；　interested　in　her。　Mitch　followed　her　about；　looking　up　at　her　with　a　yellow　supplicating　eye。　She　didn't　like　him　and　she　would　be　glad　when　Grace　collected　him　againbut　why　did　he　tremble？

She　realised；　in　the　way　that　she　had　of　seeing　further　than　her　nose；　that　Grace　was　going　to　affect　the　whole　of　her　relations　with　Paul；　and；　indeed；　all　her　future　life。　She　had　not　realised　that　in　London。　Grace　had　seemed　harmless　there　and　un