the governess-第13部分

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　but；　alas！　I　am　not　so　much　the　object　of　your　pity；　as　your　contempt；　for　all　my　misery　is　of　my　own　seeking；　and　owing　to　the　wickedness　of　my　own　mind。　　I　had　two　sisters；　with　whom　I　was　bred　up；　and　I　have　all　my　lifetime　been　unhappy；　for　no　other　cause　but　for　their　success　in　the　world。　　When　we　were　young；　I　could　neither　eat　nor　sleep　in　peace；　when　they　had　either　praise　or　pleasure。　　When　we　grew　up　to　be　women；　they　were　both　soon　married　much　to　their　advantage　and　satisfaction。　　This　galled　me　to　the　heart；　and；　though　I　had　several　good　offers；　yet　as　I　did　not　think　them　in　all　respects　equal　to　my　sisters；　I　would　not　accept　them；　and　yet　was　inwardly　vexed　to　refuse　them；　for　fear　I　would　get　no　better。　　I　generally　deliberated　so　long　that　I　lost　my　lovers；　and　then　I　pined　for　that　loss。　　I　never　wanted　for　anything；　and　was　in　a　situation　in　which　I　might　have　been　happy；　if　I　pleased。　　My　sisters　loved　me　very　well；　for　I　concealed　as　much　as　possible　from　them　my　odious　envy；　and　yet　never　did　any　poor　wretch　lead　so　miserable　a　life　as　I　have　done；　for　every　blessing　they　enjoyed　was　as　so　many　daggers　to　my　heart。　　'Tis　this　envy　that　has　caused　all　my　ill　health；　has　preyed　upon　my　very　vitals；　and　will　now　bring　me　to　my　Grave。〃

'In　a　few　days　after　this　confession　she　died；　and　her　words　and　death　made　such　a　strong　impression　on　my　mind；　that　I　could　not　help　sending　you　this　relation；　and　begging　you；　my　dear　Sukey；　to　remember　how　careful　we　ought　to　be　to　curb　in　our　minds　the　very　first　risings　of　a　passion　so　detestable；　and　so　fatal；　as　this　proved　to　poor　Mrs。　Dison。　　I　know　I　have　no　particular　reason　for　giving　you　this　caution；　for　I　never　saw　anything　in　you；　but　what　deserved　the　love　and　esteem　of

'Your　very　affectionate　cousin；　'M。　SMITH。'


As　soon　as　Miss　Sukey　had　finished　her　letter；　Miss　Patty　Lockit　rose　up；　and；　flying　to　Miss　Jenny　Peace；　embraced　her；　and　said；　'What　thanks　can　I　give　you；　my　dear　friend；　for　having　put　me　into　a　way　of　examining　my　heart；　and　reflecting　on　my　own　actions；　by　which　you　have　saved　me；　perhaps；　from　a　life　as　miserable　as　that　of　the　poor　woman　in　Miss　Sukey's　letter！'　　Miss　Jenny　did　not　thoroughly　understand　her　meaning；　but　imagining　it　might　be　something　relating　to　her　past　life；　desired　her　to　explain　herself；　which　she　said　she　would　do；　telling　now；　in　her　turn；　all　that　had　hitherto　happened　to　her。


THE　DESCRIPTION　OF　MISS　PATTY　LOCKIT。

Miss　Patty　Lockit　was　but　ten　years　old；　tall；　inclined　to　fat。　　Her　neck　was　short；　and　she　was　not　in　the　least　genteel。　　Her　face　was　very　handsome；　for　all　her　features　were　extremely　good。　　She　had　large　blue　eyes；　was　exceeding　fair；　and　had　a　great　bloom　on　her　cheeks。　　Her　hair　was　the　very　first　degree　of　light　brown；　was　bright　and　shining；　and　hung　in　ringlets　half　way　down　her　back。　　Her　mouth　was　rather　too　large；　but　she　had　such　fine　teeth；　and　looked　so　agreeably　when　she　smiled；　that　you　was　not　sensible　of　any　fault　in　it。

This　was　the　person　of　Miss　Patty　Lockit；　who　was　slow　to　relate　her　past　life；　which　she　did；　in　the　following　manner：


THE　LIFE　OF　MISS　PATTY　LOCKIT。

I　lived；　till　I　was　six　years　old；　in　a　very　large　family；　for　I　had　four　sisters；　all　older　than　myself；　and　three　brothers。　　We　played　together；　and　passed　our　time　much　in　the　common　way：　　sometimes　we　quarrelled；　and　sometimes　agreed；　just　as　accident　would　have　it。　　Our　parents　had　no　partiality　to　any　of　us；　so　we　had　no　cause　to　envy　one　another　on　that　account；　and　we　lived　tolerably　well　together。

'When　I　was　six　years　old；　my　grandmother　by　my　father's　side　（and　who　was　also　my　godmother）　offering　to　take　me　to　live　with　her；　and　promising　to　look　upon　me　as　her　own　child；　and　entirely　to　provide　for　me；　my　father　and　mother；　as　they　had　a　large　family；　very　readily　accepted　her　offer；　and　sent　me　directly　to　her　house。

'About　half　a　year　before　this；　she　had　taken　another　goddaughter；　the　only　child　of　my　Aunt　Bradly；　who　was　lately　dead；　and　whose　husband　was　gone　to　the　West　Indies。　　My　cousin；　Molly　Bradly；　was　four　years　older　than　I；　and　her　mother　had　taken　such　pains　in　her　education；　that　the　understood　more　than　most　girls　of　her　age；　and　had　so　much　liveliness；　good　humour；　and　ingenuity；　that　everybody　was　fond　of　her；　and　wherever　we　went　together；　all　the　notice　was　taken　of　my　cousin；　and　I　was　very　little　regarded。

'Though　I　had　all　my　life　before　lived　in　a　family　where　every　one　in　it　was　older；　and　knew　more　than　myself；　yet　I　was　very　easy；　for　we　were　generally　together　in　the　nursery；　and　nobody　took　much　notice　of　us；　whether　we　knew　anything；　or　whether　we　did　not。　　But　now；　as　I　lived　in　the　house　with　only　one　companion；　who　was　so　much　more　admired　than　myself；　the　comparison　began　to　vex　me；　and　I　found　a　strong　hatred　and　aversion　for　my　cousin　arising　in　my　mind；　and　yet；　I　verily　believe　I　should　have　got　the　better　of　it；　and　been　willing　to　have　learnt　of　my　cousin；　and　should　have　loved　her　for　teaching　me；　if　any　one　had　told　me　it　was　right；　and　if　it　had　not　been　that　Betty；　the　maid　who　took　care　of　us；　used　to　be　for　ever　teasing　me　about　the　preference　that　was　shown　to　my　cousin；　and　the　neglect　I　always　met　with。　　She　used　to　tell　me；　that　she　wondered　how　I　could　bear　to　see　Miss　Molly　so　caressed；　and　that　it　was　want　of　spirit　not　to　think　myself　as　good　as　she　was；　and；　if　she　was　in　my　place；　she　would　not　submit　to　be　taught　by　a　child；　for　my　Cousin　Molly　frequently　offered　to　instruct　me　in　anything　she　knew；　but　I　used　to　say　（as　Betty　had　taught　me）　that　I　would　not　learn　of　her；　for　she　was　but　a　child；　though　she　was　a　little　older；　and　that　I　was　not　put　under　her　care；　but　that　of　my　grandmamma。　　But　she；　poor　woman；　was　so　old　and　unhealthy；　that　she　never　troubled　her　head　much　about　us；　but　only　to　take　care　that　we　wanted　for　nothing。　　I　lived　in　this　manner　three　years；　fretting　and　vexing　myself　that　I　did　not　know　so　much；　nor　was　not　so　much　liked；　as　my　Cousin　Molly；　and　yet　resolving　not　to　learn　anything　she　could　teach　me；　when　my　grandmamma　was　advised　to　send　me　to　school；　but；　as　soon　as　I　came　here；　the　case　was　much　worse；　for；　instead　of　one　person　to　envy；　I　found　many；　for　all　my　schoolfellows　had　learned　more　than　I；　and；　instead　of　endeavouring　to　get　knowledge；　I　began　to　hate　all　those　who　knew　more　than　myself；　and　this；　I　am　now　convinced；　was　owing　to　that　odious　envy；　which；　if　not　cured；　would　always　have　made　me　as　miserable　as　Mrs。　Dison　was　and　which　constantly　tormented　me；　till　we　came　to　live　in　that　general　peace　and　good…humour　we　have　lately　enjoyed：　　and　as　I　hope　this　wicked　spirit　was　not　natural　to　me；　but　only　blown　up　by　that　vile　Betty's　instigations；　I　don't　doubt　but　I　shall　now　grow　very　happy；　and　learn　something　every　day；　and　be　pleased　with　being　instructed；　and　that　I　shall　always　love　those　who　are　so　good　as　to　instruct　me。'



Here　Miss　Patty　Lockit　ceased；　and　the　dinner…bell　called　them　from　their　arbour。

Mrs。　Teachum；　as　soon　as　they　had　dined；　told　them；　that　she　thought　it　proper　they　would　use　some　bodily　exercise；　that　they　might　not；　by　sitting　constantly　still；　impair　their　health。　　Not　but　that　she　was　greatly　pleased　with　their　innocent　and　instructive　manner　of　employing　their　leisure　hours；　but　this　wise　woman　knew　that　the　faculties　of　the　mind　grow　languid　and　useless；　when　the　health　of　the　body　is　lost。

As　soon　as　they　understood　their　governess's　pleasure；　they　readily　resolved　to　obey　her　commands；　and　desired　that；　after　school；　they　might　take　a　walk　as　far　as　the　dairy　house；　to　eat　some　curds　and　cream。　　Mrs。　Teachum　not　only　granted　their　request；　but　said　she　would　dispense　with　their　school…attendance　that　afternoon；　in　order　to　give　them　more　time　for　their　walk；　which　was　between　two　and　three　miles；　and　she　likewise　added；　that　she　herself　would　go　with　them。　　They　all　flew　like　lightning　to　get　their　hats；　and　to　equip　themselves　for　their　walk；　and；　with　cheerful　countenances；　attended　Mrs。　Teachum　in　the　schoolroom。　　This　good　gentlewoman；　so　far　from　laying　them　under　a　restraint　by　her　presence；　encouraged　them　to　run　in　the　fields；　and　to　gather　flowers；　which　they　did；　each　miss　trying　to　get　the　best　to　present　to　her　governess。　　In　this　agreeable　manner；　with　laughing；　talking；　and　singing；　they　arrived　at　the　dairy…house；　before　they　imagined　they　had　walked　a　mile。

There　lived　at　this　dairy…house　an　old　woman；　near　seventy　years　of　age。　　She　had　a　fresh　colour　in　her　face；　but　was　troubled　with　the　palsy；　that　made　her　head　shake　a　little。　　She　was　bent　forward　with　age；　and　her　hair　was　quite　grey：　　but　she　retained　much　good…humour；　and　received　this　little　party　with　hearty　welcome。

Our　little　gentry　flocked　about　this　good　woman；　asking　her　a　thousand　questions。　　Miss　Polly　Suckling　asked　her；　'Why　she　shook　her　head　so？'　and　Miss　Patty　Lockit　said；　'She　hoped　her　hair　would　never　be　of　such　a　colour。'

Miss　Jenny　Peace　was　afraid　they　would　say　something　that　would　offend　the　old　woman；　and　advised　them　to　turn　their　discourse。　　'Oh！　let　the　dear　rogues　alone；'　says　the　old　woman；　'I　like　their　prattle；'　and；　taking　Miss　Polly　by　the　hand；　said；　'Come；　my　dear；　we　will　go　into　the　dairy；　and　skim　the　milk　pans。'　　At　which　words　they　all　run　into　the　dairy；　and　some　of　them　dipped　their　fingers　in　the　cream；　which　when　Mrs。　Nelly　perceived　（who　was　the　eldest　daughter　of　the　old　woman；　and　who　managed　all　the　affairs）　she　desired　they　would　walk　out　of　the　dairy；　and　she　would　bring　them　what　was　fit　for　them：　　upon　which　Miss　Dolly　Friendly　said；　'she　had　rather　be　as　old　and　good…natured　as　the　mother；　than　as　young　and　ill…natured　as　the　daughter。'

The　old　woman　desired　her　company　to　sit　down　at　a　long　table；　which　she　soon　supplied　with　plenty　of　cream；　strawberries；　brown　bread；　and　sugar。　　Mrs。　Teachum　took　her　place　at　the　upper　end；　and　the　rest　sat　down　in　their　usual　order；　and　eat　plentifully　of　these　good　things。　　After　which；　Mrs。　Teachum　told　them　they　might　walk　out　and　see　the　garden　and　orchard；　and　by　that　time　it　would　be　proper　to　return　home。

The　good　old　woman　showed　them　the　way　into　th